Need Help About Moving

Now is the time to make the move. You do not have young children. If the older ones want to relocate, let them go. A new beginning. Life is about taking chances. Go for it.

You may not want to see this but look in North Dakota. ND has a 3.2% unemployment rate, last time I looked. Because of the need to make the area more attractive to people frrom all over many cities in ND are putting in performing arts centers, shopping centers, and other ammenities you would find in a large metro area. It's worth look at.

I have also heard tht TX has a lot of available jobs.

Both areas are going to offer a lower cost of living.

No. Carolina is beautiful and I have heard there is a big population of people from the great northeast that have relocated there. My kids are getting older, too. The last goes to college this year. That's a lot of change.
New job, new location, new empty nest. If your wife is on board for change then go for it after you secure a job. Rent or lease a house for at least a year in a new location so you can decide if you like it or would prefer a different part of town. Try to get quotes for car insurance and for houses too. There will be bumps in this road. Hang on to your wife and talk with your kids. You can do this. People are stretching their comfort limits everyday in this economy. It will get better.

Hi Mike - Hugs to you. Moving is hard. I've had to do it a lot. But at the same time, it can be wonderful. New people, places, experiences. Did the company you work for have an outplacement counseling program or anything like that? If yes, take advantage of it. If no, go to your local unemployment agency and see what they offer. I'm in Fort Worth and the office near me had classes, etc. to help with transitions.

Your kids are not kids any more and are leaving the nest - and that's good (believe me, it's not really healthy for them to stay in it). They will come to you wherever you end up as long as you have a good relationship. My parents are in PA and my hubby's parents are in FL - we travel to see each other. It may only be once a year or so, but skype and the phone keep us close. Have your kids teach you skype (video phone call) cause it's easy, fun, and you'll all enjoy it.

What is your passion? Have you ever really wanted to live somewhere different? How about your wife? You mention she doesn't like NY - where is she interested in? I don't know if you are in a position to start a business or anything like that, but you may have something in you that excites you and you haven't had the opportunity to develop that. It might be worth looking into.

I wish you the best!

I am so sorry to hear about your job. This is a hard economy. Downsizing is hard. Something I wanted to point out to you is that it is time for your kids to fly out of the next. Don't make the choices for your retirement based on whether they like the area you are choosing. You have worked for 30 years and raised a family it is time for you to pick a place you can retire in and be happy. If you have a buyer for your current home. Grab it an go. Your children are all old enough to be supporting themselves in whatever lifestyle / place they want.

I myself would not want anywhere that a hurricane can happen but you give that up for cold if you head into the midwest so might be a toss up. Good luck to you.

Rochester! My husband went to RIT, so we knew the area well about 30 years ago.
It's pretty but the winters can be frigid.
When we finished college, we moved to northern Virginia.
The Buffalo NY area (we grew up there) had few jobs.
Go where the jobs are - get the job first if you can - then relocate.
Your kids are grown - they'll move where they will.
Northern Va got snow every once in awhile (we're in Southern Va now) but nothing like NY.
I like a place that has SOME winter - it keeps the insects down.
Parts of North Carolina are lovely - the Raleigh, Durham areas are popular.
Florida's a nice place to visit but I'd never want to live there.
Where ever you go you'll meet people and make new friends.
Sure you'll miss some things about your old stomping ground, but every place has something new you'll discover and you'll love it.

We are looking to relocate grandparents from the NY area for health & financial reasons, and the advice we got was this. Each person should make a list of things that are important to you, like do you want to be able to walk to a store, do you want a library close by, do you want a large yard for a dog or a no yard to mow, do you like doing chores around the house like puttering with painting and minor repairs for relaxation or do you prefer to have weekends free to biking or hiking or movie watching, what makes your hobbies easier (bird watching would be easier near nature, window shopping in a city), etc . etc. Before you decide WHERE to move decide WHAT you need in your life.
However, your kids are sort of old to be living with you, and I would say it is time to let them fly on their own unless they cannot for financial reasons. But then again, I left home at 17 and have lived all over the world and my family is spread not just over states but over countries which is far different than having to move for the first time. For practicalities you can google "moving checklist" or use this one:
http://www.upack.com/moving-resources/checklist.asp
Good luck, your outlook will determine your success, so think of it as an adventure and a new chapter in your book of life, and not a loss. Unless you find from your lists that you really want to stay near that most vibrant city you love and then figure out how to down size, perhaps to an apartment, and live a simpler life.

Well, my son is a third year at RIT. Second son was looking at Nazareth but chose Siena instead.

Here, where we live, very specifically Saratoga County, we are actually experiencing growth. It's primarily in technology fields, but OVERALL the news is not as bad as the rest of the state, or country. Especially with regards to real estate value, we're holding firm.

As a lifelong New Yorker myself, it's hard to imagine embracing the south, it's very different. Not better or worse, just different.

So here, you would be AWAY from there (about a four hour drive from my house to RIT), but not in completely unfamiliar territory, you know?

We are down to one kid at home now (15), we are talking about Europe or WAAAY other places, largely because we CAN now, and could NOT before, see? In the end though, I think we'll like stay here, it's NICE here.

In the end, no matter where you go, there you are, right?

Best to you!

:)

I'm so sorry about your job loss. This economy stinks. Hopefully, things will get better soon. I agree with a previous poster who mentioned that you should look where the jobs are.

My husband has done alot of travelling within the US and he's been to NY. He compares NY to the Midwest except for the costs. We live in southeast MI. Although I do not recommend living in Detroit, there are many beautiful cities and suburbs in MI as well as the Midwest. Chicago, by far, is probably the most expensive city to live in. I have family in MN and IL who absolutely love living in those states. MN winters are frigid with lots of snow, but their job market is good and plenty of lakes. Living in MI, we are surrounded by the lakes and great schools. We have the benefits of that "coastal" feel, but we do not get hurricanes here. If you love the great outdoors, MI is a great state for the outdoorsman. We go up north for hunting, fishing, and skiing. Northern and Western MI are absolutely beautiful. Lots of small coastal-like towns, Sleeping Bear Dunes, and Mackinaw Island. We have casinos throughout the state and a bridge to Canada. If you love boating, MI is a great state for the boater too. Housing prices are far less here than on either coast.

I hope this helps:)

Can't believe you're moving without having secured a job first. What if you get to NC and discover there's no job for you there either? You could stay in your state, but just move closer to Westchester or somewhere within the state where there's an opportunity; however, I wouldn't move until I secured a job. You've got to go where the job really is. Also, you say it's hard to find a "decent job." Maybe you should look more closely at your expenses and forgo things you don't really need, muster up your pride, and accept a lower paying job until you can get something better. Some income is better than none. Maybe you can get a smaller car...Maybe a smaller house...Maybe you can switch to basic cable...etc.

Unless you are bilingual in Spanish, don't try Texas. I am your age and had to leave Texas due to the demand on professionals to be bilingual in Spanish.

I suggest you start sending your resume to every company that has your field of expertise. You may be heading to a totally different state than you think.

I think that you have plenty to offer any company that looks at you. Since it has been so long I would suggest you go to the employment office and ask them if they have anyone that could help you do a new resume or other documents that might be needed to look fresher and more focused.

I know I had several different resumes when I was last looking for a job. I didn't really want to go back into child care and I was looking for work in the field of developmental disabilities. In the areas where it asks for your job description, or talking about what you did in that job. Depending on which field I was sending this particular resume for I focused different things.

For instance, if I was applying for a state job in an institution that offered case management services to adults with developmental disabilities, and I was applying for that position, they would not really be interested in my curriculum I developed with my child care classes. They would however be more interested in my ability to keep records, set goals and implementations strategies, they would not be interested in how I planned my daily schedule and that I could feed almost 100 kids per day. They would want to know my experiences that were pertinent to the job I was applying for.

So each job that I applied for I had one of two resumes that I used. One was for jobs working with kids, either in the classroom or the management position. I used the information for the management stuff for jobs where I wanted a management position, this way it showed my business management skills more.

If I was applying for a job with kids then I focused on all the activities that I planned, how I could manage 20 school age kids on the bus on field trips when the little kids at the child care center were napping, I talked about how fun it was to be with the kids and see the world through their eyes, etc...not what I would put on a resume where I wanted to manage the lives of adults with disabilities....

So how you do your resume is a big deal. It may seem like it's pretty straight forward but even changing a word now and then will make it fresh and more appealing.

I have to take a moment and make this longer....sorry. I have to tell you a story.

I have a friend who wanted to move to Montana. She and her hubby were from Wyoming and the surrounding states and had ended up in Oklahoma working at a huge world wide oil company. They didn't like Oklahoma, geographically of course, they were used to skiing and snowmobiles for several months of the year. They missed the mountains.

They knew they were going to eventually get a job in the Billings area. They just didn't know when. Hubby turned in an application for each and every job he liked in the Billings refinery but didn't seem to ever get the one he wanted.

They prayed and prayed. Each time God told them he had a plan and it would be in his time frame that they moved. One day he again filled out an application and he heard God tell him the next job offer from Billings was his job. The one he had been waiting for. He told my friend and she had felt the same thing. So he decided he was going to fill out a lot of applications for other companies and if they called him or sent someone to interview him he'd be back in "interview" mode when talking to the head hunters.

He got a call from a competitor in the Billings area and they wanted him to fly there and interview. He decided to take them up on their offer if only to go look at real estate and see what was available for the price, what the schools were like in those areas...to check out the city.

The interview went very well. At the end they asked him what it would take from them for hubby to come to work for them. He had thought about this type of question. He figured if he asked for too much money they would not even consider him. He was making about $58,000 per year, this was the late 90's, so he told them he thought that 70K per year would be enough for him to leave a company he had been with over 10 years.

He left the appointment feeling on top of the world, it was a good interview but he truly didn't think they would make him an offer. He checked out the housing, met with a Realtor, looked at a few homes that would be perfect, found a lovely area in Shepard MT, then flew home the next morning.

That afternoon the phone rang and they offered him the job. He had peace flood his body. He heard God say this is the next offer and this is the job I have for you. So he asked them if he could discuss it with his wife. They were dumbfounded. If they left the current company they lost a lot of benefits that they would not have to help them move. Their house loan with through the credit union, if the house didn't sell within a certain time the credit union would buy it from them so they wouldn't have 2 mortgages, the company would pay for them to move if they waited for a transfer, they would not have that safety net for the move.

They decided they were going to follow their hearts so he gave notice and they paid for the movers out of their own pockets, their house sold while they were in Billings finalizing the purchase of their new home, each and every little thing fell into place.

A few months later in the old company his position was completely done away with, if he had stayed with the company he would have been out of a job. Of course there was the inner "job hire" program but he would not have had the luxury of being picky. He would have had to take a job where ever he could have found it, even in the plains of Texas....no mountains and tepid summers there.

Since changing company's he has found he is much happier and is so very glad he changed when he did.

So the moral of this story is:

Don't just fill out applications in a safe way, take some risks and think outside the box. Sure the Carolina's are lovely states and so are many others.

So sorry about your job. My advice to you is colored by my priorities: Avoid financial risk, and Proximity to family.

So - I would stay put in my current area b/c that's where all my contacts are to help me get another job, which in mid-50's ain't as easy as if you were 30-something. I would also stay b/c it sounds like that's the option that keeps me nearest more of my kids, and I am assuming, cousins and other family as well.

I'd stay in the area and perhaps sell my house for a smaller cheaper one in a burb with a smaller property tax rate.

I wouldn't sell just b/c I had a buyer - unless I am on the hook for a mortgage that I can't afford, if I am unemployed for more than a yr. To me that means I am in a house that is more than I should have bought in the first place (I am risk averse). If that's the case, I would sell, and rent till I figured out my full plan.

If I am not in a pickle with the mortgage, then my attitude is, If I have a buyer today, I can get a buyer tomorrow. I figure out calmly what I'm doing, my full plan, then sell if that's what I determined to be the right thing to do.

I would NOT move w/o first securing the job at the location I am thinking of moving to.

I wouldn't buy a house in a location until I had lived there at least a yr and am positive I am staying for at least 5 yrs.

If my spouse wasn't working, I'd say, 'honey, it's way past time for you to work. Even if you only make $10/hr with your initial job, that's $18k or so after taxes of income, plus you're adding to your social security amount due you at your full retirement rate. If you get started now, you've got 15-20 yrs of income and soc security contributions ahead of you. If you never move up to better pay, that's still $250,000 after taxes contribution to our net worth, our options in retirement, our ability to sleep without a financial concern in the world every night.

actually, I think that now is the perfect time to move. your kids aren't in a high school or lower and would be able to travel, or you travel to them as needed.

My friends moved from VA to Missouri and said that the cost of living there is amazing. They work in computers and make GOOD money. They are trying to get my sister to move out there.

You could also consider somewhere like State College, PA. You would still be close to NY, but the cost of living is different, and you still have the 4 seasons.

It is so hard to let go of grown kids sometimes but if you get them settled, or they get settled, it is much easier to go knowing they are working and doing okay. They can always come and visit you wherever you go. I would find a job first in any state you can and go from there. Most places are not that bad or there wouldn't be people living there. Kansas, for example, has good cost of living compared to both coasts. Not much scenery but it's a nice place to live and work. I would think NC would be great if you find a job there. It depends on you and making friends and how you except the adventure of starting over in a new place. If your 21 year old is going to go to college or is in college that's something to consider as they will be going away anyhow. It should be a good time for you and your wife to have time to downsize and enjoy each other too. Just have guest rooms for the kids. :-) They'll come and visit.