Need Empathy over Diminishing Milk Supply

My daughter is adopted so no breast feeding for us. She couldn't be more healthy and we couldn't have a closer relationship.

Hi there!

You have my complete empathy. We plan to breastfeed but sometimes our bodies or our kid's bodies do not comply.

This is not a reflection on us or our child.

The important thing is that you are trying to do what you feel is "breast!"

When my supply diminished, due to being back at work, I was crushed as well and had to use formula.

Once the pressure to solely breastfeed was lifted, I was able to do both. My supply was not "drained" from pumping, and my daughter nursed when in the morning and after work.

The most important ingredient you can feed a child is love!

Pumping never works as well as a baby to empty your breasts of milk. So it's not surprising that you are pumping but seeing your supply diminish. I'm sorry it's been so difficult for you. My youngest didn't nurse well and was diagnosed with failure to thrive. Looking back, I should have started to supplement with formula or something but he had so many digestive problems that I didn't want to complicate matters even more. All I can say is that sometimes things don't work out like we plan but we just have to do our best to make sure out little ones are healthy. For me, the important thing is that my "baby" is now a healthy 17 year old.

It's normal for you to feel blue that your nursing is coming to an end. I was sad to end nursing each of my children even when I'd nursed for a year or more. But I hope you find that feeding and cuddling your daughter is still sweet, even with a bottle.

Maybe you're just in a " milk slump". When pumping, I would have bad supply days & when nursing , can tell when my supply is low ( had a bad day yesterday). If you are wanting to try to keep up your supply , try drinking as much as possible. That seems to help.

I was unable to breastfeed, and I had a really hard time with it. I called my mom, which just shows how hard of a time I was having, as I don't generally get along with my mom. She then told me that I was unable myself to be breastfed as a baby, for whatever reason, even though she was able to with my 4 brothers and sister.

My grandmother, who is an amazing woman and who I would like to be when I grow up, told me that she was only able to breastfeed her children for a short period of time because she never could get a supply that was enough for them. I figured if her kids were on formula and turned out fine, then mine would to, and sure enough she is. We didn't have any problem bonding, which some breastfeeding moms insist you will if you go formula, and my husband loved being able to feed her as well.

We've been ttc for a little while and have discussed formula vs breastfeeding for the new one, and he's against breastfeeding just because he saw how much I struggled and beat myself up over not being able to do it the first time as well as how well she thrived on formula.

I just got through it by knowing that I was doing what was best for my family and that we were all less stressed out when I took breastfeeding out of the equation. That was really our biggest hurdle with her babyhood, and even though I went through a small period of feeling like she didn't really need me and anyone off the street could take care of her, I got over it when her pediatrician told me that even though breast is best, she was doing so much better on formula and it didn't make me a bad mom. I'm a little ashamed to say I cried in his office and thanked him, as I had heard from others that I might as well have been giving her poison. I never looked back and she has turned out pretty amazing.

Your daughter will be fine no matter what but will do the best with a happy mama.

It is so hard to come to the conclusion that not pumping more IS what is right for you family. I had to bottle feed my youngest (long story) and thought I could keep up by pumping. It just wasn't meant to be.

I had a really hard time with it and was afraid to confide in my friend, as she successfully breasted her 3 girls for 2 years without bottles. When I told her she said she was formula fed as a baby and likes to think she turned out just fine!

My formula baby is now an amazing 4 year old and doing great!

There are certainly advantages to breast milk, but the bottom line is, baby needs to eat. Thank God for formula! You're doing what's best for your family. You go, girl!

My milk dried up when our son was 5 months old.
Breast feeding worked for us up until I had to go back to work (at 12 weeks).
Pumping at work and feeding him as often as possible at home just didn't keep my milk coming in.
So we switched to formula and he was fine.
As long as the baby gets fed and he/she's growing and thriving, who cares how it gets done.
It's hard especially when your emotions are wrapped up in post partum hormonal changes but try not to feel bad.
Breast feeding doesn't work for every mom/baby out there.

Happy, please don't beat yourself up! I will tell you what our pediatrician and a lactation consultant both told me when I was never able to produce sufficient milk after many different interventions:

You have a healthy baby; you are in a position to care for your baby and give your child everything; you live in a time and place where you have other options besides your breast milk and your child will not suffer or become ill because you can't breastfeed. Be grateful for those things and move on.

Breast milk is perfect food, yes, but if mom can't produce it, or baby can't take it in, we are blessed to live when and where we do and to have formulas and good doctors and the ability to afford to feed our children adequately. Look on that with gratitude and relief and move on. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty or like you "didn't try hard enough."

I'm so sorry. I went through a lot of work trying to ever get 1/3 of what my kids needed with breastfeeding. It took doing everything in the book and pumping around the clock. It was exhausting. My milk supply never did get very good. With my firstborn I nursed him 6 months and bottle fed him as well otherwise he was not getting enough. With my second child it happened all over again and I gave up after 6 weeks. The pumping all day long to try to increase supply meant my firstborn was not getting any attention from me. When he came to me in tears as I was trying to pump asking me to please read a book to him I thought, you know, this is crazy. I gave it all up and I felt so so guilty. It was heartbreaking. It took me a good 2 years to stop feeling sad about it. I hated being around other moms nursing their babies. I felt so bad. I hated breastfeeding talk from other moms. I'm so happy this part of my life is all over with and now I don't have to think about it anymore. I know what you are going through and it's tough but you just have to tell yourself you did what you could and you are doing the best you can for your family. You are a great mom and your daughter is going to grow up to be a healthy, happy, smart, amazing girl. Enjoy her infanthood and don't worry.

No criticism from me!! I know exactly how you feel - with my first child (son) we were not very successful with nursing and I had to supplement with a bottle of formula. I tried and tried and pumped to keep my milk coming in, but to no avail. Even though it was pretty mutual after a few months that we stop, I was heartbroken. But I knew I had tried and done the best I could. My son took to the bottle and was very healthy, so that helped immensely!!

Sounds to me like you've done everything possible, I hope you're not feeling guilty about stopping. Please don't pay attention to anyone that will criticize you. Sometimes it just doesn't work out and it's no one's fault. Be comforted in the fact that you tried and gave it your best effort!! As long as your baby is doing well on formula, and is healthy, don't let it bother you too much.

Good luck!!

You tried - you really tried, and you have nothing to feel guilty about.

As for the feeling blue - it's totally normal, no matter when your breastfeeding ends. I bf my kids for longer - and still, when I saw the end coming, I was sad. I think it's partially sadness of the end of a baby-stage. But I think a big part is that when your supply starts to drop, your hormones also bounce around again and affect your emotions - when you are feeling really blue - swear at those darn hormones a little bit.

Just the fact that you tried so hard at this is an indication of what a good momma you are.

Fenugreek, Brewers Yeast, Milk Thistle, Hormone balance through a Naturopath, Mother's milk Tea (Grocery Store and home made by a doula). Extending pumping sessions, hold a picture of your baby and look at it while pumping, smell the babies worn clothes or blanket while pumping. Drink more water and ensure you have enough sleep and food. Try to reduce stress. All of these options cost less than a can of formula (except a naturopath). I would have given anything to have the choice to BF or not. Not a critism or a judgement just a fact.
Since you will have to use formula for another 4.5mths do what you can financially to buy organic formula. Take the time to research why before dismissing organic

Hello. Have you looked into fenugreek supplements? Google it and read more about it (there are a lot of reputable sites out there that explain how the herbal supplement fenugreek can help boost your milk production). I used it a little when I got in a supply slump (hope that makes sense!) with my second baby.

As other mom's have mentioned, pumping is unfortunately never as efficient as baby. Are you still nursing your child or have you switched completely to a bottle? If you are still nursing those 2 times a day, then I would suggest that you pump on one side as baby nurses on the other. ESPECIALLY in the mornings (this is usually when a lot of women are fuller).

I did breastfeed both of my children for a year each, and would pump twice at work each day. I would be lucky to pump 6-8 ounces during those 2 pumping sessions, BUT because I would pump on one side during the early morning session while my child nursed on the other side, I would easily get 6-8 ounces out of one breast at this one session. It's amazing the difference that baby can make with your body's natural Let Down. It was definitely a little challenging to juggle the electric pump while nursing, but after a few tries, it wasn't too bad.

Good luck with things, and remember, you're doing what is best for your baby and your situation....and there are lots of different ways for babies to grow and thrive (breast milk, formula, etc.). No guilt. You love your baby, and you're meeting baby's needs!

I got mastitis when my daughter was around 4 weeks old. It persisted and persisted, despite treatment. I continued to pump despite the excrutiating pain, but it didn't even matter, since my daughter wouldn't drink the pumped milk. Apparently, infection tastes bad or salty.
Anyway, the infection ruined my supply, and as it turns out, it was MRSA. I ended up on very strong antibiotics for over 4 mos, so nursing was out of the question anyway.
I did feel sad about not being able to BF my daughter, but she took fine to formula and a happy, healthy 2 year old now.
Despite what some people say, it's ok to not nurse. Nothing bad will happen to your baby if you don't. A good mom is a happy mom, and you what you have to do. Try not to feel guilty about it either. So much pressure is placed on moms to BF that when it doesn't work out, they feel guilty and can even get depressed. It will all be ok. Just remember, you are the mom and you make decisions on what YOU think is right, not anyone else. Once I told myself that, I left all guilt behind. Once that's guilt is gone, you can truly enjoy feeding times just as much as before (if not more).
Take care, and congrats on your baby!

I'm thinking back to when my girls were that age, and I'm sure I would have been totally thrilled to get 4 ounces at a single session of pumping! That's not such a bad amount. For me personally, what helped was eating a little bit more fat (cheese and meat specifically - a pizza worked huge wonders for my supply, as did a cheeseburger). If you have been dieting or eating a bit less lately, maybe try to put a few of the higher-fat items back into your diet and see if that doesn't help. I know that's not very scientific, but anyway, it worked for me!

I don't have the same experience as you have, but I wasn't able to breastfeed immediately when my son was born due to health reasons (except for the first 3 days). It was a very difficult and sad time for me. I tried to pump to keep my milk up until I was able to breastfeed him, but it was excruciating and difficult. I was crying daily. My husband was kind and told me to just not do it, but I didn't listen to him because I felt he just wanted to me to feel better and not cry.

One day, while on maternity leave, my work was having a company outing and I went to say hi to everyone. While there, a woman whom I work with, out of the blue without any knowledge of situation, says to me - "and don't feel guilty if you aren't able to breast feed. Don't let others make you feel bad about it. Not everyone is able to do it and you will still be a great Mom" and out of the bathroom she walked. I stood there ready to cry tears of relief. Who would have thought that someone who is merely a work acquaintance could give me the permission I hadn't been giving myself? I went home, packed up the breast pump and never looked back. It was a good decision for me and for us. Our son is healthy and happy and was never more sick than his friends.

Give yourself permission to not feel guilty about this and know that you are a great Mom and doing the best you can for your child and stopping breastfeeding now doesn't change that.

I am surprised that you think 4 oz is so little. My son was born 8 weeks early and only had IV nutrition for the first few weeks, so I couldn't breastfeed when he was first born. While he stayed in the hospital, I pumped every 2-3 hours, even setting the alarm to pump over night. I never got more than on ounce. When my son came home 5 weeks later, I tried breast feeding, then feeding stored breast milt until he fell asleep, then pumped 30-45 minutes to get my ounce. Just as I finished cleaning the pumping equipment, he would wake up to start the process all over again. It really sucked and was so depressing not being able to produce enough milk. I was determined to do what was best for my little preemie doing whatever I could to increase my milk, but nothing worked. My mom told me that I just wasn't trying hard enough which broke my heart.

With my second, I was so excited that my milk came in with my second. Then we discovered that he was allergic to dairy, so I had to pump and dump for a few days to get the dairy out of my system. By the time I tried nursing again, then breast milk was down to one ounce servings again. Ugh!!!

I had to stop breastfeeding my oldest child at 6 weeks. I had been hoping to pump, but it just didn't work. I tried very, very hard, I talked to my doctor, I consulted experts - it just was not going to happen.

I was really blue, because my vision for raising kids included exclusive breastfeeding until the kids could take a cup. That's how my sister did it. So, I felt like a failure.

Other people made it worse, giving me advice (or criticism) that they were just sure would change everything. Or, they thought they were being helpful by telling me why formula was best, and breastfeeding was a scary, second rate choice. It made me miserable.

I had to remember - this is not about me. It's about making sure my daughter is healthy. If she was healthy, growing, happy and headed toward a life of those things, nothing else mattered. She was, so I had to just let everything else go.

Only talk to people who are supportive of you for a while. Realize that we can do things very differently and still be good parents. When your child smiles, remember that that's the bottom line. You are good enough.

You have done your best and have hung in there a lot longer than other moms in your situation would have. The first few weeks are the most important and you helped build your baby's immune system as much as you possibly could.

I know it can be very hard to plan and expect to nurse and have it not work out. It happens to a lot more women than you'd think. Please don't feel guilty.

Chances are, once you've stopped pumping and had a few days to "grieve" the end of the breastmilk days, you will feel a sense of relief over not having to stress and worry about it anymore. You will probably enjoy your time with the baby a little bit more knowing you've done your best for her and don't have to take time away from her to struggle with pumping.

Don't beat yourself up. You've worked hard to make your baby's first couple of months as good as you possibly could have and I am sure you will continue to give her a wonderful life and tons of love.