Need Custody Advice

Unfort. there is not much she can do with out a lawyer. If they are separated and she has no custody agreement, he can take the baby and run as can she. It would not be illegal because they are both parents and there is no agreement. I would get a lawyer (that responds) asap because the longer it is, the worse it gets.

First of all he can't just kick her out even if they are room mates she has a right to get everything of hers as well as her child. Call the Sheriffs Office and tell them about the situation. Then get a lawyer to file for custody of her child. He can't stop her from getting her child. Have the Sheriffs Office send a officer to met her at his grandmothers house. If she can prove that he is not working and has no way to support the child. She shouldn't have any problem getting custody of the child. If you rent a place they have to give you 30days to move out. Hope this helps. Is the boyfriends name on the birth certificate? Let me know how this comes out maybe I can think of something else.

sound like he is holding her baby hostage and I would simply call the police. It seems dangerous to me that he is the only one with the baby and will not allow her to see the baby alone. Yes she may have to pay for childcare, but this sounds like a VERY bad situation to me... Just my opinion anyway.

We had a similar situation with my son, grandson and his mom. Fortunatly it did not last and my grandson is living with us and his dad as he has done since birth. My son asked a lawyer about the custody issue and was told since they were never married no one has official custody and either could "Keep" the child and dictate visitation and he then went to the family court and filed a petition for custody. It took several months and the mom and her parents freaked thinking he wanted to "take" him away from them. At that time they were sharing 3 1/2 days with each family. My son had to go to mandaded parenting class and court ordered mediation the mom did neither. My son was awarded custody and she got 2 days visitation a week. We never had to get an attorney. We live in Virginia, not sure how other states work but here it worked great for them. It will take several months I am sure to resolve and I wish you luck. I would advise her to go to the local "Family Court" and file then at least she will have a date that she can see an end to the seige. Unfortunatly possesion is in the father's favor and he probably knows if she gets the child and won't give it back he has no option but to wait for a court date as well.
She can apply for an emergency custody order but not sure what that entails as we didn't have to go that far. Like I said non of this required a lawyer.
I wish you luck you will need it and a lot of patience it will be hard emotionally at least it only took us two months and that was good as I thought it would take much longer.

Why on earth is she not "allowed" to see her child? Has the boyfriend already been awarded full custody of the child in the courts? Your sister should absolutely get the local police station a call - family division - and find out what her parental rights are...seems to me that the father/boyfriend is not within his rights to forbid your sister from interacting with her own child. I think he is actually breaking the law. Also, your sister should make sure she is in a good position - good home, reasonable work schedule, someone to watch her child while she is working, etc. and fight to have the child live with her!!! Good Luck!!

first thing your sister needs to do is file custody of the child after that the court will give the child a lawyer and they will make sure your sister can see the baby

Unless the Father has a court order agaist the Mother he does not have a leagel right to with hold her child from her. Has the police been involved?

I would get a hold of Renee Lafeyette in Prince Frederick if you are near southern Maryland. Our courthouse on Wed has a free legal clinich it is first come first serve so you have to get to the office early or you sit all day. Bring all documents. Also I would call social services or go see them and tell them the situation and call any child advocate place you can think of and ask them. Don't just call the police get dressed up in your best looking proper and speaking without loosing in - calm but emotional is ok and tell them he has the baby and see what the law says. I think it is physical custody in MD so if they go to a public place and she has the baby in her hands and tries to leave with it - maybe a restaurant or library. She can tell the people before he gets there if it gets out of hand to not to hesitate to call the police. Then if she has physical custody of the child they will escort him out and someone just has to be ready to "hide her" for a while till she gets temporaryt legal custody. I think she should have that all written up or go to the courthouse with the baby and beg for an emergency custody order. Anyway that is my two cents. Not in the same boat but have heard some things on another board www.cafemom.com

Hello. I have known several people in her situation. This is what they found out, did, told me. One if there is no formal custody agreement neither parent has more right than the other. He cannot keep her from him. ( side ? is she afraid of him? Why doesn't she just walk out the door with him? She has every right to)What one friend did was go to the court house and filed for custody. He got temporary custody papers until the formal court date. So he was able to see his daughter. She should try that. This was done in Maryland. I don't know any good attorneys, but she should at least find out about what I suggested. Good luck

I am providing a link to Maryland legal aid, which provides free or reduced fee legal services to low income persons. It sounds like your sister might qualify. She should act immediately to protect her interest with her baby. If the link doesn't work, try googling "maryland legal aid". Best wishes.

http://www.mdlab.org/

A friend of mine, Diana Denrich, works for a great family law firm. She's a mother to a 1 year old and is a member of mamasource!

Diana B. Denrich, Esq.
Attorney/Mediator
DeLeonardo, Smith & Associates, LLC
215 Main Street
Reisterstown, Maryland 21136
###-###-####
###-###-#### fax
866-517-3840 toll free

J.,

Oh HECK naw! She needs to go to the courthouse, IMMEDIATELY, and file for custody of her child. She can also call Legal Services and speak to one of the attorneys there. They may even be able to represent her for free or for a reduced rate depending on her income. She has 2 things in her favor: 1) she's a woman; 2) she's working. It is rare that a judge will see fit to give custody to the father unless circumstances are so extremely extenuating. Tell her to document everything, have a notebook where she writes the series of events, things said, etc. http://www.mdlab.org/

I don't know if the police are going to get involved because it is a domestic issue to be handled by the judicial system. Generally they get there with domestic violence. She can try it though, who knows.

I am SOO sorry she has to go through this! And HE is not working, contributing, etc.??? PLEASE....no, no, no. Maybe I sound a little overly passionate, but I have 3 kids and I WISH any of my ex's would try that with me!

Also, I have a 6-month old as well. If she needs a crib or any other things to help out at her new location, I've got some stuff. I have a girl, so if she has a girl I can help with clothes too.

Good luck ma!

D.

1. Get a good lawyer.

2. Call Child Services.

3. During a visit, call 911 and state that she is not being able to leave the premises with her child. He has no documentation stating that he has full custody. She can leave with her own child.

Unfortunately the legal & welfare system need to be involved immediately.

But, she also needs to make sure she has everything in place wherever she is currently living. Crib, diapers, formula, clothes, etc.

Hi J.,

Your sister needs to go to the court house in her city and file a petition for custody.

Next she needs to go to social service in her city and see if they are able to help.

If there is a mediation center in her city, that would be an option once the custody issue is resolved.

Good luck. D.

What your sisters boyfriend is doing is illegal. He can not just decide that he is going to keep her 6 month old baby and not let her see him. She needs to get the police involved asap. Once the police are involved the ball will start to roll with the courts. Family court will deicde who gets the child and who gets to visit the child. He has for all intents and purposes kidnapped her child. She also be looking for a lawyer who specializes in custody issues. My prayers are with her I can not imagine being in that situation.

Hello J. J. I am so sorry to hear about your sister situation but i am extremely happy to let you know that i have the solution to her problem. You can give me a call on my cell phone at ###-###-####. I am a prepaid legal assiociate and what i do is give people the information and knowledge of what my service offers. You can also give her my number as well. Thanks P. S.
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Does he have legal custody? If not then he has kidnapped and forcibly detained a child. Get the police's advice about just removing the child from the house. If he has no legal standing it should not be hard. Can she find a legal service that works on a sliding fee scale? Domestic relations is tricky but this man has no right to just take her baby. She has to take him to court. IF she lets this go on it will look like she has abandoned her child. That will give him legal grounds to seek custody. She can't, and I cannot stress this enough, she cannot and should not let him get away with this. Love will come again with a man who is much better than this one and a man who will love her and her child as he ought. Get your child back, now. Walk in, pick your baby up and walk out and if he tries to stop you make sure you have the police waiting for him. He can take a nice ride to the station and find out how it feels to be held captive. Forget the lawyer and go get your child. He has no legal right to keep this child unless he has a court order. If he has one, dispute it. Even if you have to do the research and file the papers yourself. This is your child that came from your body and you go get your baby. No judge in his right mind would give custody to a man who lives with his mother and has not worked in two years. He might ask you what you were thinking to hook up with him but he would never give the best interest of the child over to a low character like that. Now go get your baby and stop being afraid. Your baby comes first. If you need moral support take someone with you. I hope i don't sound too harsh, but you need to rescue your child and then rescue yourself from this guy. I wish you the best and wish i could go with you.

She definitely needs to get a lawyer. A good one is Carlos Ladras in Gaithersburg, MD. Unfortunately, he is expensive. Her boyfriend can not deny her access to her child and he can not dictate that her visitation be in his presence. If they do not have a preexisting custody order on file, by law she has as much right to the child as he does. Technically, he can not prevent her from taking the child from the house or keeping the child overnight. If he calls the police they will tell him the same thing. As I said before, she definitely needs an attorney since her child's father is being an idiot.

I agree with one of the other reader's advice go to the house and pack the baby up, and the father tries to prevent you from leaving call 911. When the police arrive they will allow you to leave with your kid provided you do not already have a custody agreement. Since the father does not work everything she bought that belongs to the baby is the mother's property and he can not refuse to allow her to take it. Tell the police that she is trying to leave him and wants her belongs and he is refusing to give them to her.

Do they have joint custody/nothing in writing? if so, your sister has an equally valid right to the child and can just walk away with him. Not necessarily the nicest thing to do, but that's the legality.

J.,

Tell your sister that she needs to go to the court and get full custody over her son. Once she gets the custody papers go bad to the boy grandmother's house with the police and he will have to give up the baby. Hope this helps.

File for emergency custody!!!! (In addition to custody with residence and/or visitation). But since he has just as much right as he does, she has to provide good reason in filing the emergency custody case. I recommend doing this regardless because it can take up to a year to get into court for permanent custody. If she doesn't get emergency custody, then she can at least establish a visitation schedule at that time until her case goes to court. If she doesn't get the emergency custody granted, don't give up or be discouraged. There are a lot of wierd laws. It wwill all work out in the end with persistance!!

go to Ann Arundel Family Court, some one there will know the name of a good layer.

go down to social services, they will be able to help make sure she has some one else there on her side when she visits her child then there are no chances of faulse accusations that can be made, she also needs to get a place of her own. that would look a little better but the fact that she has worked longer that BF will be a good start.

good luck.

Dear J.,

I do not know a family lawyer, but I do know that your sister should have every legal right to her baby. Have her start keeping a journal of everything, everyday, about her baby. Who provides for the baby, who buys the baby clothes, keeps him fed, anything. What she does for the baby. Have her go back and write out what she was doing for the baby daily when she was living with the guy and since she was the only one working, what her paycheck went to and what she provided for the baby. If he hasn't worked for two years, he sounds like a big loser and I'm guessing his grandmother has had a huge influence on his choices right now. She needs to get that new lawyer now! But very important, she needs to show in wriitng what she has been doing since the babies birth. I know all this because of a friends similar situation. Hope this helps.

J.;
Vanessa S. sounds like she knows some solid facts. I was glad to read that post bcuz what the boyfriend is up too does not sound legal to the logical person. no Marriage and denying the birth mother access - NO WAY !!! My sister had issue years ago regarding custody and based on my own experience of human nature and my sister's experience here's what I hear is going on underneath the possession of this child. THIS man has not worked, does not plan too - if he keeps physical custody of the child then he not only will not have to PAY child support - but may get to collect it from your sister. IF he retains possession of this child - he governs control over your sister who is leaving him. ANY contact to these losers is GOOD contact. He gets to maintain a relationship with someone he doesn't want to lose by maintaining possession of this baby. It's not about love for this child - it is about possessing this child to have physical and financial controll over your sister. I think you should do as Vanessa suggested. Appear without warning with the police and take that baby to her true home with her Mom!!!

God Speed and God Bless - our prayers are with you!!

The lawyer my husband used for custody was Dawn Bowie. She is really knowledgable. I can't remember her number at the moment, but I will try and find it. She is located in Germantown/Gaithersburg.

Why wait for an attorney? Go to the police or to Social Services and ask for help. You say your sister isn't living there anymore. Does she have a suitable place to live with the baby? If not it won't matter what attorney she has. What part of Maryland is she in? Good luck with our "system"!

K.

www.marykay.com/kdawson2

Hi J.,
I feel for you and your sister. In Maryland neither of them have legal custody of the child. As mother's we assume we automatically have custody of our children we do not. Your sister has to first get a lawyer. You didn't say whether she called the police and made a report that when she came home she was locked out and her baby was inside. Even though it was the grandmother's house she could legally get back in to the house because she established residency there. They would have to go through the legal channels to put her out. Call 311 non emergency number and ask the officer what can you do about the baby. She definitely has to file for physical custody of the child as soon as possible. Your sister may be able to get the baby before court case. Call the police!

S.

It's a good thing she is getting a new lawyer. But one thing the first lawyer said may be good. Go to the police. Does the ex-boyfriend have a court order saying he is the costodial parent? If not, she needs to get it and go there with the police and get her baby back! It does not sound like a good environment for that baby to be in. That whole thing sounds incredibly suspicious.

FIRST of all, since your sister and her boyfriend were never married, the boyfriend has NO LEGAL RIGHTS to the child, even if he signed the paternity affidavit as the father of the baby. According to the state of Maryland, your sister is the child's sole parent, because he never married the mother. So he should NOT be allowed to prevent your sister from taking her baby out of his crazy possession!!! All she has to do is call the police and they will give her back possession of the baby. Do NOT let him intimidate her like that. I live in the state of Maryland, so I know for a FACT that he has no legal right to keep the baby from the mother, because in the state of Maryland, if you were not married to the father, the mother is the SOLE CUSTODIAL PARENT. He he wants to see the baby, he has to be the one to go to the court and sue for visitation. PLEASE tell your sister to call the police immediately. That man is not worth her sanity, and you never know what he could be doing to the baby. Because a man who does not work is not in his right mind anyways....get that baby out of that house and away from that crazy man! He is clearly trying to put her through emotional trauma for no reason, becuase he is not even supporting his baby financially. Tell your sister to file for child support. Even if the father is not working, he is STILL financially responsible for the baby and the court will charge him child support. Please tell your sister that she needs to move on from this man...if he really loved her, he would not put her through this, and the health of her child and her own sanity is just not worth the drama.

Dear J.,
Your sister needs to act quickly. This dirtbag may try to turn the tables on her and claim abandonment! Great lawyer in Rockville MD, specializes in family law-Marjorie DiLima. I know of 2 people who have used her. She is very, very good...worth every penny.

http://www.faitwisedilima.com/DynamicAttorneys.shtml?wldp...

Fait, Wise & DiLima, LLP
One Church Street
Suite 800
Rockville, MD 20850-4158
Phone: ###-###-####
Fax: ###-###-####

I know from experience that she needs to get the baby before going to court. She does not have to let her ex see the baby until there is a set visitation. But the judge is going to most likely give custody to the parent who HAS the child. Good luck.

This story broke my heart to read... Crystal B. gave great advice, though I understand finances are often an issue in finding a good lawyer. Thus her advice listed under #2 & 3 might just be sufficient. (I really like #3 to enforce her rights, though she may not need to call 911 & tie up the line in case of medical emergencies etc., just a local police station would likely be enough. You can find the # in the front page of the phone book). It will at least get the ball rolling anyway. Then she may be able to ask for a court/state attorney to be appointed for her.

Social services may be of help in knowing when to take what steps, and I humbly encourage your sister to take action sooner than later so her ex can't try to make a case based on abandonment or how long he's been taking care of the baby. The fact that he's not even working will look bad for him in a custody case.

Also, it sounds like he is almost holding the child hostage for some bitter feelings he may have toward the mom. Maybe he thinks she cheated on him.. who knows! The fact is none of that matters at this point, he doesn't have full custody so she should go after joint custody at minimum. Sounds like he may have a grandmother enabling his bad behavior & lazy work ethic.

I also agree with Crystal's advice regarding her having everything set up to take custody, including a job to support them both. I sure wish her the best and pray the child will only sense love around him/her in the midst of all the unfortunate turmoil.

I'm glad your sister & the baby have your loving support J.!

first of all a good lawyer. Michael Mastracci - Catonsville, Md. 21228 ###-###-####. He has worked with the Division of Child Support on a lot of legal issues.
2nd - have mother go to the court and ask for emergency legal guardianship for the baby. file through child support and custody division for legal guardianship. they will be great help with this. if no one has legal custody of the child, she can beat him to it by filing.

Good Luck