Need Advice Regarding Friend's Bachelorette Party

Good friends understand situations. If you are unable to make it for financial reasons, explain that to her and tell that you would be willing to do something with just the 2 of you. Maybe a girls day out.

You can definitely drive separately and enjoy the fun! My friends have rented a bus to bar hop for several occasions - birthdays, going away parties, etc. There's always been someone who meets us out later because of conflicting schedules or someone who's pregnant and doesn't want to be out as late or just doesn't want to be confined to a time frame. Your friend probably knows you aren't much of a drinker and would understand. Something we've done before is parked a car at one of the destinations, so you can ride on the bus for the first part, which will be the least drunken time, and then when you get to the place where your car is, if you want to keep hanging out you can follow them, or you can take off. If they don't have an itinerary, speaking from experience, they will want to make one to get the most for their money so they spend more time in the bars and less crisscrossing town. Good luck, don't worry about it and have fun!

I agree with many of the other responses...you should go for at least part of it. Talk with the Maid of Honor and see if you can get her itinerary and drive yourself. If you're not much of a drinker then you won't have to worry about drinking and driving. Plus, if it ends up being more fun than you thought, you can always hop on the bus mid-party!

Remember this is for her - not you. Go, have a couple drinks and be supportive of your friend. Don't be a sour-puss all evening (even though you would probably rather be in bed!) It's 8 hours of your life for someone who thinks enough of you to include you in her wedding.

I would go. Even if you compromise and just go for part of it. I don't think you'd want to miss it for her sake or yours. I think you'd regret not going. It's a one time thing, a special occasion for your good friend, and a girls night out. Go & have fun!

Hi M A:
I went through a similar situation about a year ago which involved me participating in a wedding as a bridesmaid on a cruise ship. The cruise, flight, and hotel total would cost me around 1,200--which did not include beverages and activities...plus I was informed that if I did not book my reservation through her travel agent by a certain date...I would have to pay for my bridesmaid dress (which was around $250.)As the time neared my husband lost his job and money was extremely tight. I informed my friend that I would not be able to participate in her wedding due to financial circumstances. She was understanding and I think if your friend is a true friend....she too will understand....

I say don't go. Who says loyalty in friendship needs to be honored a la bachorette party? The very essence of why those parties exist is to have one last crazy drunken time with people who you like to do that with. If you've never done that with her in the past, why punctuate her single life that way just because someone said it's tradition? There are many ways to let the person you love/care about know that they are special--bachlorette parties aren't mandatory on that list. One idea...Video record yourself saying, "Sorry I can't be there to celebrate with you, but here's a recording of examples of what you have to leave alone now that you're getting married". Then go to community pools and ask the hunky lifeguards if you can record them saying, "here's one example", to each one. The humor might ease her pain of you not being there and she should appreciate all you would have went through to create the short little video, to be viewed at the party!
That's my 2 cents, and good luck--hope there are some willing, cute life guards to help you!
Angie
P.S. On the flip side, another angle would be to bring your cam corder to be the official camera operator who records all the crazy fun while remaining sober and making fun commentary on all the shenannigans hahahahha!

You said she lives 3 hours away? How far do you live from the party itself? I would say that you should drive yourself there, or have someone drop you off, and ride the bus home. That way you don't have to make the full commitment, but you can still go and have fun. Just my thoughts.

Sounds like she's a true friend if you're going to be in her wedding. I'd just tell her the truth and let her know that you want to support her and celebrate with her but maybe just the two of you could meet for lunch or something. Life is too short to be doing things you really don't want to spend time doing.

Or maybe you could just participate for a portion of the time. You may have more fun than you think once you're around the group and your bride-to-be will be happy that she's surrounded by all her closest friends. It's only one night and you still don't have to choose to drink alcohol the entire time yet you'll feel included. It's a hard call but you'll figure something out. Good Luck and Good Times!

I honestly think you need to be there for your friend, even if it means that you might not be doing what you prefer to do. Your friend must consider you one of her close friends to invite you to be a bridesmaid in her wedding, and trusted that you would be there for her during her special time. This day should be all about the bride, in my opinion, and I think you should do whatever it takes to make it memorable for her. You don't want her to remember her bachelorette party as one where one of her bridesmaids didn't come. If money is an issue, maybe you can ask her or somebody else to help you out. But if you don't drink much, then you shouldn't spend too much money any way. These are just my thoughts. I am a very giving person, sometimes too giving. :) Just do what's in your heart. I hope it all works out for you!!