Need Advice on Weening My 13 Month Old off the Breast!

Is there a reason you want to wean right away? Breastfeeding is very good for your kids, why not extend it awhile with your baby? The average length to breastfeed children around the world is 4 years!! So what's a few more months with your baby?
I was 3 months pregnant with my second when my oldest stopped asking for milk (he was about 20 months) and it was very natural and never traumatic at all for either of us. So even if you let him nurse awhile longer, it may end up ending more naturally on its own (especially if you start substituting milk for some of his feedings when he wants it).
Good job nursing him for so long already!
Best wishes

Make sure it's really what you want to do. I don't think you need to worry about him getting more attached or it getting harder to wean. It sounds like he's plenty attached now. You can check out Kellymom.com for good info on extended breastfeeding if you are considering continuing.

If you do decide to wean I would try to cut back very gently. Choose the best feed to drop first. I would think either the early morning/middle of night feed. I would keep nursing at naps and bed for awhile. Maybe each week try to drop one nursing session.

Try distraction when you say no to a feed. Tell him when you will nurse him. (ie: upon waking, "we'll nurse before nap, lets go get breakfast now" Then make sure you have a fun breakfast, something he really likes. Or at night: "mommy will nurse you when the sun wakes up, let's rock in the rocking chair".)

When I weaned my first off the night feed, she had to throw a huge fit and see that I wouldn't give in. I was trying to comfort her in other ways then nursing and she just wouldn't have it, so I put her on the ground and said okay have your fit. She threw a fit for awhile, and then would let me comfort her. She did start sleeping longer.

Then much later when I was ready to wean her, we dropped feedings until we were down to the bedtime nursing. I started to limit the length of the feeding. I would do one minute (for w few days or a week - I can't remember), then 30 seconds, then 20, then 10, eventually we were down to one second. I know it sounds funny, but it helped her. One night my husband was putting her down (I was out) and she wanted to nurse. He said lets pretend and let her pretend to through his shirt. (Just basically turning her head towards his chect and him counting to one. ) After that we gave up the feeding. She was about 2.

Sorry to ramble, I hope this makes sense. I'm trying to rush with my 4, 2, and 8 months old in the background. Email me if you want more info.

C.

You are totally normal in everything you described! You have to decide if you really want to stop. He is not using the breast milk for nutrition, but for comfort and closeness with you. If you really want to stop, you may have to bite the bullit and cut him off, but substitute many other things you can do with him to be close and cozy...books, singing and rocking, hold him while he drinks warm milk from a special, new, big boy sippy cup that he picks out at the store (don't let him fall asleep, he needs to start brushing teeth). You could try doing it just for the nap time at first, and let him still nurse at bedtime, but that may be confusing. It might be better to just do it all at once....or let it go for a couple more months and try later when you are more sure of wanting to let the nursing end. I have a teenager now...trust me they are always your baby!

This is going to sound harsh. I just weaned my 10 month old who also used nursing as a way to fall asleep. While, yes, breastmilk is best etc, if you are done, you're done. For many reasons I was done. It took a few days, but we are all much happier. I did try to cuddle with her at the end of our bedtime routine. In the end what has worked best is letting her CIO, I feel it is important she learn how to sleep on her own. Some nights she cries, half heartedly, but is sleeping longer, all night, actually taking naps, and is a nicer baby to be around. She went from 4 am wake-ups to nurse to sleeping 10-11 hours at night. It was difficult decision for me, she is my baby - I will be having no more, but I know I am so much more to her and that I will always be a source for comfort to her even without my breasts. She also has become more congenial to others without being less attached to me. In the end it is your decision when to stop, you are a champion for going as long as you have, and when you do stop, your son will still always be your baby and the decision does not change your relationship. Good luck.

First off Kudos for nursing so long! My son is now three but the scenario you described was exactly ours....he drank milk and from a cup but nursed before nap and bedtime. I began worrying about how ween him as I was thinking age 2 would be enough........but he stopped all on his own at 18 months. One nap he just refused and we had to figure out a new naptime routine.

I was very teary eyed and emotional for awhile that my baby was growing up(but releaved that he did it on his own). Still get that way at some milestones....so I think its normal. The first time he ate a sandwich without me cutting it up I cried! :)

What I would do is just say no anytime but bedtime and naptime. If he asks for your milk out of those times just say no and tell him its time for big boy milk and give him a cup. Then I would begin substituting another bedtime naptime routine like story and warmed milk. When my son switched we had a hard time getting to sleep before bed so we started warm milk in a cup while we read a story then brushed teeth and went to bed. I think he'll eventually give up nursing on his own when he is ready!

It doesn't sound like you or your son are ready to quit! If there isn't any reason other than you feel like you should be weaning him, I say keep doing it! It is a wonderful bonding experience for mother and child. My 2nd son I nursed until he was past his second birthday. I finally decided that it was time to stop because he was biting down too hard and it was getting painful. At that point, I just gradually cut back on the frequency and duration of the nursing and it wasn't too bad, I just distracted him with other things.
It felt awkward sometimes to nurse a 2-year-old with other people around and people would make comments but I just blew them off because it was what was best for me and my son!

It is completely normal to think of your second as a baby for so much longer. I really think they are babies well into their second year! :) There is no reason that you have to quit nursing at a year. Many of us nurse our babies for much longer. There is a great book called Mothering Your Nursing Toddler about nursing older babies.

That being said, if you really are convinced that weaning is best for your family, do it gradually and with love. If he nurses to sleep, I'd first start by changing the routine to nurse, then read books and/or rocking and cuddles, then sleep. After you've made that change, offer milk in a cup (maybe even before you go to his room) before naps and bedtime. If he cries, make sure to be sympathetic and provide extra hugs and kisses. It's okay to take weaning slowly. Hope that helps!

it does not sound like your wee fella is ready to stop nursing. is there a reason you are eager to stop? he is still quite young. honestly, it doesn't sound like you are wanting to stop either. i am still nursing my 20 month old. now we only nurse at nap and bedtime. it is not something he does when he is thirsty or when we are out and about. maybe you did not feel this way with Josiah because your mommy instinct knew he was done...but maybe your momstinct is telling you this little guy needs to be attached a little longer? best of luck finding what works best for you both. warmly, A.

I totally understand the having trouble stopping nursing. I always took away the nursings by having the bedtime one be last. It is so comforting for them and probably you too. Especially if this baby may be your last. My 21 month old is my last of 3 babies and I had trouble stopping. I nursed her for one year and slowly, ever so slowly stopped nursing at 15 months. She seemed fine with it in the end because she was eating food and drinking whole milk too, she just didn't need my milk anymore. It's hard to admit that, but remember you have done a MARVELOUS thing nursing for so long. I can relate , I never once used a bottle with my 3 children, never left them over night or used a babysitter-- it was always me and my breasts!! ha ha, Try and distract your son with other things, get him hooked on a comfort item, a small stuffed animal or a small soft blankie and perhaps read books with him while he holds the comfort item and start that routine and he will soon be conforted by this and you, then while in the crib, he will feel comfy. Good luck, it's hard, but in the end (as I look at my experiences in hindsight,) it will all work out. It might be mostly you- although I don't even know you- it's an emotional thing very much so!

My son weaned at 2 1/2 also due to pregnancy. It was a 6 mos process. La Leche League has some good advice on weaning. I got a booklet from a meeting that gave some good information.

What really worked for us was to shorten the duration by counting. First we started with me counting to 30, then 25, then 15, and so forth. We stayed at 5 seconds for a long time! Sometimes during naptime he'd say, "no counting mama." Sometimes I honored that request.

For support, I like mothering.com/discussions. There's several boards there to support weaning and extended breastfeeding. I was very aware that nursing a toddler is rare in our culture and enjoyed the support.