This sounds a lot like us. My husband and I are very goofy. I have an almost 9 year old who to her everyone is annoying. Her 6 year sister of course causes the most problems for her. My two girls go to their dad's every week for a few days. He is much more intolerant and serious that me or my husband. My husband, their step father likes to tease the kids and the 9 y/o can't stand it. She gets very angry and screams at him to "stop it". That often makes him do it more to the point that she starts crying. I usually try to intervene before it gets to that point, but I don't have a whole lot of sympathy because my dad was the exact same way.
I do think that some tolerance should be expected of your daughter, but I also think your daughter's feelings should be respected. I agree that she has the option to leave an area, but she also has the right to ask someone to stop a behavior if it directly involves her. Like I tell my husband, he is teaching our daughter that her personal boundaries should be respected. If she learns that her own boundaries are not important, she could end up being victimized later in life.
I am trying to work this one out myself. How do you balance respecting someone's feelings and expecting some degree of tolerance? Maybe you could talk to your daughter and ask her for suggestions on how to handle it. Explain that you and your husband have a need for playfulness and fun. She might have a need for relaxation and peacefulness at the same time, so how can that conflict be solved?