Need Advice on How to Change My Sons Last Name?

C.,

Sheila F is right. Everyone is allowed one alias, he can just start using his step dad's last name and totally avoid all the legal issues. Then there is no problem if he wants his old name back.

My best friend in HS used her step dad's name until she got married. On legal documents she just wrote down both last names, it was even on her Driver License.

Unless things have changed, or laws vary by state, you cannot legally change his last name unless his (bio)father agrees. But you may be able to do what my mother did 40 years ago: My father left my mother before I was born, but he sent child support payments for my older brother and I. My mom remarried when I was two and my (step)dad wanted to adopt me and change my last name. My father refused. So, my mom went to the social security office and told them I was using my (step)dad's last name as an alternate alias and she wanted that name on my card. They issued me a new card with the new name. Now keep in mind the SS knew it was just an alias and what my real last name was. But, my mom used that SS card to enroll me in school and everything else and I used that last name until I was married. However, once my father found out, he stopped paying child support for me; but legally he probably shouldn't have. But, she didn't care and didn't go to court. Good Luck!

Your son can "use" whatever name he wants, without legally changing his name. California recognizes "usage" as a way to establish another name. My step-sister just started using my father's name when she was about your son's age, and the schools just followed, no worries.

See http://www.legalzoom.com/name-change-guide/court-order-ve...

You may need to research this a little bit, legally. Your husband may need to officially adopt him as his son in order for you to legally change his name. I would look into it a bit.
S

Have you and your husband thought about him adobting him. You would lose the child support but the name change and knowing that his dad really loves him and wants him to be a true part of the family, instead of just the kid in the family with a diffrent name or borrowing the rest of the families name. Something to think about.

J.

I don't know anything about the legality of changing one's name, but I'm assuming that your husband would have to adopt him (if he hasn't already.) I would consult a lawyer on the issue of child support.

Hello Mom of 3,

I would ask your son how HE feels about it. That should be the only thing that matters.

M.

Dear C.,

President Clinton changed his name from his biological father's name, to his step father because of their good relationship, so can your son, and he has a right to do it. I do not believe that this would make a difference in the child support, but you need to go to an attorney or go online to find out for sure. There is a "Law Store" in our area, and they have been very helpful two times for my family. It doesn't cost too much either, and they probably can help you find and fill out the proper name changing papers. Or you can go to the local County Government and ask about it. Look in the phone book for the County gov. offices. I think it is called the County Clerk's Office.

C. N.

C., my personal opinion is you wait 4 years, continue receiving child support and when your son turns 18, let him make his own "adult" decision about his name. So what if his name is different than everyone else in the house. With so many blended families out there, it really doesn't matter, your son is not alone in this. Besides, how he is loved and accepted in the home is really what matters. How you new husband treats him is what matters, not what his last name is. If your new husband wants your son, he should want the financial obligation to go with it and then the child support shoud end. If you want the child support, then keep the last name. Personally, I don't know what the law is, but I feel if you don't want the name, you don't want the money. Being a dad is not about $$$. It's about love and involvement. With the economy being what it is, ever little bit of money helps, so wait 4 years and let your son make his own decision.

I am in a similiar situation with the biological father out of the picture except for child support payments. I needed to do some legal stuff a year ago. The attorney was very smart as he knew my situation very well. He told the judge we were unsure of the biological fathers whereabouts. So the judge will issue the attorney to publish a legal notice in the paper about the situation and the "father" has 15 days to respond, if no response the judge will grant our request. So...the attorney published the legal notice in a surrounding community newspaper and not the local one. You just have to find ways to get around the situation. You legally can not get his name changed unless the father agrees, which more than likely will initiate him wanting to see your son or eliminating child support all together. You do not want this disruption in your life. Seek an attorney and tell him your situation, it didnt cost very much either. Let me know if you have any other questions. Thanks C.

Being that I'm in the middle of custody mayhem, I have done tons of research. I don't want to change my son's name and take away his father's last name, but hypenate both our name's because his identity includes both of us. We were never married, but I put his name on the Birth Certificate so he has the right to object to the change in Family Court.

Now, you mention that you 'think' this is what your son wants...have you asked him or has he mentioned it? A bond with a boy and his father is essential and if the relationship isn't there, then sometimes ALL they have is the identity given to them by the last name that they carry. While he may be closer to your husband than his own REAL Dad you might want to consider how that might effect him at this stage in his development as a teenager searching for 'who' he is as an individual.

This is huge decision that I think should be your son's when he is ready to make it. In my case, my son's father is not there ALL the time but his father is a part of who he is as a person. I wouldn't try to take that away from him, just add to that because it's who we are as a family.

I would only do this if your son wants it done. If he does not, I wouldn't push it. Your reasons for wanting the change are sound, but this is your son's personal identity. Only change it if he is on board and excited about the matter. The process itself isn't too difficult. Contact a family law attorney and they can explain it to you. Good luck!

I'm pretty sure the law is this: Your sons bio dad must sign away parental rights. If he does, then he is no longer obligated to pay you child support and your husband will then be able to adopt. But you'll need to speak with an attorney or do some more research to get all the correct information on how to make it happen. What a great husbank you have.
Good luck.
M.

I'm pretty sure your husband would have to adopt your son to be able to take his name as a minor. Especially if your ex is still supporting him. You should talk to a family law facilitator. They're free and can advice you the best route to take.

Ask your son directly. He's 14, he knows what he wants. And he doesn't have to do this now. He has time to make up his mind.

First of all, I would make certain that its what your son wants. I am in the same situation you are and thought that my son would want to have the same last name as the rest of us but was surprised to hear that he wanted to keep his last name. I think it had to do with his identity. At 14 years old I think he was use to his name and didn't want to be bothered with going under a new name at school, with friends, etc.
If he is okay with the name change, yes, you can still collect child support, as this is not an adoption, simply a name change. You can do it on your own or go through a legal service such as We The People. They charge a minimal fee and might be worth it to avoid the hassle of doing it on your own. I believe last time I looked into it, it was around $400 and change. The process takes a few months as they have to post it in the newspaper I guess for about a month. There will be the changing the birth certificate, social security, school records thing to contend with so its a bit of work, but worth it if that's what you all want. Again, I would check with your son first though because you might be surprised. And if he doesn't want to change the name, it won't have anything to do with his love for your husband, simply that the teen years are a hard time already without having to change names and then having to explain his situation to inquiring friends at school and such.
Good luck with your decision.

Hi C., My personal opinion is to not change his name, that should be an adult decision that he makes as an adult, being a male child, if you change his name, he will never be able to carry on the name of his father (birth father). My neice was 7 years old when my brother married her mother, she is now 20 years old, last father's Day to my brother's surpirse he was called into court, and my niece's fathers day gift to him was changing her last name from Villa, to Covington, she made an adult decision, paid for it herself. You want your x to pay child support because he's your sons father, but want to take his name away, i don't think that is fair, when my brother came into the lives of his now wife and her 2 kids, he bacame their dad, physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially, my niece was 7, my nephew was barley 2, their dad was way behind in child support, my brother's heart was this is my family now. and that was it.
Let your son make that decision when he is an adult, you mentioned your son is the only one with a different last name, that's what happens when you blens families, My nephew is the only one with a different last name, when he's an adult he may decide to change his name, or he may decide to carry his birth fathers name, but it will be his choice. J. L.

Either way you choose, it will be very easy to do if the biological father agrees to it. Hopefully that is the case and you can skip all attorney's. I made the mistake of starting with one when my husband adopted my son and did not have a good experience with it. I went online to the courthouse document page and filled out everything myself. It was sooo easy to do on my own and I only had to pay the court filing fees. So whatever you, try and do it on your own first so you don't have attorney fees. Good Luck!

Hi C.! I just recently did quite a bit of research on this subject and with the help of two lawyers and their teams. My situation is a little different and a lot more complicated. You should kow that it is not really a big deal to change your son's name, especially if he lives only with you and doesnt even see his biological father, and even more so if it is what your son actually wants. Its all basically a matter of paper work. The only potential snag is this: if your son's biological father is still his father in the eyes of the law (ie: if you were married at the time when he was born, or if you were not married but established an order of paternity), then , by law, the "absent parent" must be "served" papers showing that you are petitioning the court to change the name of a minor. This must be done by someone other than yourself. There are agencies that do just this, or you can ask the local sheriff's dept. to do it for you. Whoever serves him the papers must fill out a court document stating that the papers were indeed served. If a reasonable attempt has been made to serve him and they have not been able to, then they sign an affidavit stating such and the court will accept that instead. If the absent parent's whereabouts are unknown, then you serve the grandparents if they are alive and whereabouts are known.
The papers must be served no less than 30 days prior to the date of your court appearance so as to give him a chance to appear to contest it if he chooses. And keep in mind that just him appearing to contest the change is not necessarily sufficient cause for the judge to not grant the change. It is very much in your favor if: 1)child is in your sole custody and your last name is different from his or &/or other family members; 2) he is of age to make a knowing decision as to what HE wants.
You can download and fill out the forms yourself and then bring them to your local courthouse. Here is a web address (you will have to copy and paste):
http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/selfhelp/other/namechangeform...
It will cost you a bit of money, and they do have waivers if you are low income. (But I think it is worth it!) ANd it will be a process that takes a couple of months. You will also need to put an announcement into a local paper and it will have to run four times in four consecutive weeks... If you Google "name change, california", you will get a lot of sites that you can pay to fill out the paperwork for you. But the paperwork is really simple and straight forward, and there are usually free self help service desks in the courthouse if you have questions or would like assistance filling them out.
Good Luck to you! And Good for You!
OH! BTW- changing your son's name will NOT affect child support payments at all! If his father tries to stop payment because of the name change he will be in violation of the law!!
Blessings to you!

Your son is old enough to make that decision himself. If your son wants his name changed and it doesn't effect child support, then I would do it. Check with a lawyer or social worker that would know the answer.
H.

At age 14, I would definitely ask your son what he thinks about it and if he'd like to do that. If he would, then I would look into it for him. This way, it's his decision. If he'd like to wait until he's older, that's fine too. I don't believe child support would have anything to do with his changing his name. If your husband were to adopt him, then it makes a difference on child support. If you want your husband to have legal rights to your son (medical decisions, be the legal guardian should something happen to you, etc.), then I would highly recommend adoption. I think your Ex has a right to dispute the adoption, but it doesn't sound like he would. As far as name change, it's a matter of paperwork and a couple hundred dollars in fees (I legally changed my last name after my mom's divorce when I was younger). If your husband adopts him, the name change could go along with that process and doesn't need to be separate. Let me know if you have questions about the paperwork issues - my step-dad is an attorney. Best of luck, K.

Hi C., I was in this situation years ago. My oldest sons bio. dad and I split up when he was 8 months old. My current husband has been his "Dad" since he was 18 months old. We never received any child support and found that the adopting process would be very long and drawn out. So, when my son was 5 and starting school I wanted him to use my husband last name since we already had a daughter together. My son was doing commercials and I had already changed his name for this purpose. So we did a legal name change. It was the cheapest and we did not need an attorney. I did not know where my ex lived since we hadn't heard from him. They did a publication in different states and shortly his name was legal. My son loves his name and is proud of who he is. He states that his hero is my husband, HIS DAD. He is 20 now and we have no regrets. Good luck. This worked for us.

Child support has nothing to do with a last name. Anyone can change their name to any other name through the court at any time. It just costs $. If your husband adopts your son, the child support would end, of course. If you just want to change your son's last name to his step-dad's last name, you can do a name change in court for... hmmm... I think several hundred dollars. My niece did that, took my brother's name (her step-dad) but did not do the adoption because her bio dad died and she wanted to continue to receive the SS payment. But she used my brother's last name for years before. Her choice. That is perfectly legal, also. Funny how many people think a name change is a big huge deal legally. It is really very simple.
As for everyone having the same last name in a family, nothing matters less. If nobody makes an issue of it, it is not an issue at all. I had a different last name than my mom from the age of 5, and 2 of my kids have a different last name than I do. If your son feels very strongly about the name issue, go ahead and change his name. You said you "believe" it is what your son wants, which says to me that it is really what you want. Otherwise you would know definitively that it is absolutely what your son wants. To change his name just because you want a neat and tidy family where everyone has the same last name is a VERY BAD reason to do a name change. Your son may feel pressured by you to do the name change, just to please you and/or his step-dad. It really sounds like something you want, not something he wants. Unless your son truly and passionately wants to change his name, let the kid be.

I actually did the same thing when I was 18, for the same reasons you listed. I legally changed my name because adoption was going be a little too hairy even at 18 (my step-dad has been mt dad since I was 3). Now it's been a few years, to say the least, but I think you might need your ex's permission, if you know his whereabouts, in order to legally change your son's name since he is still a minor. The best thing to do is check with your local county office (usually the Records department or County Recorder's Office) to see what the requirements are. They know what paperwork needs to be filed, what the fees are, court date requirements (yes, you'll have to probably have a quick court appearance, even if it's not being contested), etc. It was about $350 in filing costs to change my name about 18 years ago. Like I said, it's been while, so please check with your local government office to see what you need to do.
Another option is to hyphenate (sp?) if you can't completely change his name. I did this until I was 18, and then at 18 my bio-dad couldn't contest my name change choice. :)
The name change and even the hyphen (I didn't legally change to the hyphenated name) made school stuff easier - the names were all the same and it made me happier to have the last name of the man I considered to be my daddy. You don't need to be genetically related to someone to be a great dad (and genetics don't make you a great dad either :)!).
If you do change his name only, not adoption, remember that you son will need to named as a benefactor by your husband in legal documents as he will not legally be his son. Just an FYI.
Good luck to you and your son. Feel free to email back if you have more questions or want anymore information - happy to share.
Take care, E. :)

Unfortunately today, it happens a lot with the bio parent not being in the picture. You should have your hubby officially adopt your son. It is fairly easy and not that hard if both bio parents agree. Just go to the hall of records in your area for info. And to be frank, if you are considering this name change thing why are you concerned about child support? If you want the bio father out of your life and your sons then do it all the way.

Just from my personal experience, don't do it. When my husband was 10 years old, his Mom decided to have his last name legally changed to his stepfathers. He was the only one in his family with a different last name, and his father was uninvolved. When I was pregnant with our daughter, my husband had to go through all the trouble of changing his name back to his original name. It REALLY (I cannot emphasize this enough) bothered him that his child could have the last name of someone they were not related to. The whole situation brought up feelings of hurt about the name change as a child, as he felt like his mother had tried to cut off half of his identity (even though he had agreed to it at the time). He had to visit a therapist over the issue, because even though he was in his mid-30s, it just brought up these feelings of abandonment and betrayl and he still to this day thinks his mom just changed it so that people wouldn't know he came from a different relationship.

Hi C.,

The only way I know of changing your son's last name is for your husband to adopt him. You might want to look at family laws about child support. That's what my father did when he remarried to a woman with two boys. They consider my father to be their dad, not their biological father. My father adopted the boys and officially changed their last names to his. My stepmother was recieving child support until she remarried or the boys turned 18, whichever happened first.

Your 14 year old should have a say in this change.
Yes. your husband would have to adopt child or go through Social Security for an alias.

Are your former In-laws active with your child? What you are doing is disrespectful to them as well. Even though you are not in contact with your Ex, think of your son's heritage.
I think this is why kids have hyphenated names. It's confusing to everyone involved.

Your child is old enough to make this decision. If name is changed, don't expect child support. It's important that your child knows he is loved no matter what his name is.

M.

What does your son want?
He can use your husbands last name (at school and such)without leagally changing it unless he is ready to make that decision.
You say the biological father is not in the picture but you want him to pay child support. That is kind of contradictory. You and your son need to make a decison, is this man in your life or is he not. Once that decsion is made, I believe the name thing will fall easily into place.