Need Advice for Letting a 1 Yr Old Cry It Out

C.
Had the same problem and also a very strong-willed baby ~ crying out did not help, just exasperated us.
After 9 mths, finally the paediatrician prescribed sleeping medication ~ just a small amount for 3 nights running seems to get them into a normal sleep pattern, thereafter one reduces the sleeping med for another 3 nights, still less for the last 3 mths and whallah!!
But you MUST go to a qualified paediatrician for assistance and not rely on ANY over-the-counter medication - see the following very important web link C.:

http://www.abc.net.au/dimensions/dimensions_health/Transc...

Before you make any decisions re meds
All the best
Jewel

Good luck - it's probably the only way. I've slept in the closet myself to be in a place where I couldn't hear the crying!

I went through the same thing with my son.
A night time routine was our solution. Once he has his p.j's on he calls me to his room. I tuck him in, give him a hug and we have a goodnight kiss routine,(a kiss on the forehead, on both cheeks and on the chin) and I read a short book to him.
He tried his "old tricks" for a few days, but he loves this.
We started this routine when he was about 2years old, he's 8 now.
good luck

have you tried changing his diet? i don't know how you all eat, but sometimes cutting out all artificial colors and flavors as well as excess sugar can help. he may not be old enough for all of that, but just check what your feeding him. try to keep his days as structured as possible also without overstimulating him. i'm not a fan of the cry it out method at all, but i understand wanting/needing sleep. just remember that this isn't going to last for long...tops another year or so and in the scheme of things that's a very short time. do you nurse? have you thought of cosleeping? there is a book called "the no cry sleep solution" by elizabeth pantley that has a lot of great ideas. i'm surprised you could go 2 hours. i don't handle more than 5 minutes well. above all, just pray about it. i know it's not easy and it seems overwhelming, but God can totally handle it. He can give you or your son or both the rest you need and the patience to persevere.
good luck and blessings,
A.

I have 3 grandsons, 5-yr,3-yr,and 8 months old..the first two would cry, I put them in a bedroom to cry to themselves, when they'd stop, I'd open the door and smile and say, "are you finished?"...if they start again when I do that, I'd say: "oops...sorry, I'll wait 'til you're finished"...then close it again, so that next time they'd know I meant business...it worked for me...then, I'd take them out and ask why do you have to cry? I can't spend time with you when you act that way, then I'd play with them....sometimes they'll say they're afraid, then I'd use a different approach...and ask them what/why...then I'd pray with them and tell them act out that we're warriors of God and that the devil cannot win...we put on the spiritual armor piece by piece and what each piece is for, then we act out the different poses for "war" against the boggey man....it worked for me.....

I don't know how verbal your son is or how much he understands, but with my son, he also tends to cry longer and louder than daughter. I am in between on the whole cry it out/comfort them, so I do alittle of both. When my son wakes up, I go into him, but I take longer and longer to do it. When I do get in there, I let him know right away, it is still dark outside. When it is dark outside, mommy is sleeping, daddy is sleeping, and Katy (his sister) is sleeping and that he needs to be sleeping too. I explain that if he wakes up and it is still dark then he needs to go back to bed. If he is sick or hurt then he can cry and I will come in to help him, but otherwise he needs to sleep or play quietly. Then I show him it is dark and put him back to bed right away and leave. I let him fuss for awhile and usually he gets bored and goes back to bed. I do let my son have a sippy of water in his crib so that is one thing I know he doesn't need me for. I will go back in if he continues to cry, but I will not be comforting and I repeat the same thing to him over and over. It is dark and I want to sleep. Everyone sleeps when it is dark. I will play with you when it is light out. Now lay down and get some sleep. I will see you in the morning. Night night. Then I walk out. After a while when he sees that he isn't going to be held or cuddled, but only get the same sleepy commentary, he gets bored and goes backt o bed. Be tough and consistant and it will pay off in the end. He really has not gone back to bed with the explanation unless he's sick, then I will help him as much as possible, but I still end up putting him back to bed eventually. Hope this helps. Also try giving him a kids flash light. That helped my son too. Good luck.

C.,
FIrst off I must say I feel your pain. My husband and I have a ten yr old lil girl who is amazing and slept through the night almost immediately then 8 yrs later we decided to have another one WHOOO huh. I know I know alot of years difference we have an amazing now 2 yr old lil boy. I knew he would be my last so I was always willing to run into his room at night when he fussed. I loved those times when it was just him and I. BUT I MEAN COME ON!!! HE did not sleep either 6 mths pediatrician said oh it will happen at 8 mths ok so 8 mths rolled around and still not sleeping. Pedi said oh well he is hungry try feeding him mroe (he was an almost 9 lb baby) ok so that didn't work. At his yr old ck up pedi recommended a neurologist for us to take our lil guy to to see if something was wrong.
We had tried everything at that point the books in my mind what I thought was crying it out. EVERYTHING!! Oh did I mention that I worked FULL TIME. I was the one getting up all of the time. Our son would go to bed at 8:30 no problem then be up at 11, 1:30, 3:30, 5:00, and 7:00 for they day. Needless to say I lived on CAFFEINE!!!
We took him to neurologist he ran all of the tests LOTS OF TESTS. We went back and you wanna know what he told me. That my son was spoiled I WAS APPALLED I could not believe he would say that to me. But now looking back he was spoiled i did not think it was fair to the rest of the family to have to listen to him cry nor did I think it was fair to him. I remember thinking OH MY GOSH my baby is in his bed thinking his mommy abandonded him. Neurologist suggested we do Cry it out. He put it to me like this DO YOU WANT TO HAVE A 15 yr old that you have to go in and soothe back to sleep??? That was the problem I never gave my lil guy a chance to learn to self soothe.

Ok so this is what we did this is what the neuro told us to do. He said go home tonight get some Wine and BE STRONG!! I am gonna tell you it was the worst night of my families life!!! WE WERE ALL MISERABLE!!!
We took the lil guy home and did this:
We did bath time at 7:45 the doc specifically told us not to go back to the main part of the house. Stay in a dimly light room and talk softly. When you go back to a bright loud room their brains get stimulated again.
After we did bath we stayed in his room with a lamp on got him dressed read a story and put him in his bed AWAKE.
That was an important thing doc told us to do.
OK WELL THE first night he cried 3-4 hrs then finally went to sleep woke up cried for another hour slept a lil work up and fussed for 30 45 mins. IT WAS HORRIBLE!! I knew though that this was for him and for my sanity I had to get a good nights sleep I was miserable.
Ok the next night we did the SAME EXACT THING the doc also told us that babies like routines they thrive on it. The second night he only cried 2 hours then fussed for 30 mins then slept. OF COURSE I did not sleep I was panicking thnking OH my gosh he is not ok. IT TOOK everything I had to not go in there and ck. I had to the monitor so I could see that he was ok. The way you say your son stands up and throws fits I know we went through it all he threw toys out of his crib threw his paci out everything. We had to be strong. I just put extra pacies in his bed and showed him where they were he eventually got them if he wanted it bad enough.
After a week it was a miracle we put our lil guy down at 8:30 and he did not wake up til 7:00 the next morning. A MIRACLE i tell ya. I know it seems like you are never going to sleep again but you will. Now we put our son down at 8:30 everynight and he sleeps.
email me if you have any other questions. I promise you this will work. I was once you i know its tough bbut this too shall pass.
good luck. if you want to chat and need support I am here for ya ;)
m

Have you ever heard of the Baby Whisperer? There are a couple of great books that she wrote that I LOVE and her suggestions have worked wonderfully well with my son. I recommend taking a look at those. But, at one year what we did with my son, in a nutshell, is I stayed with him in his bedroom while he screamed and just kept saying, "It's ok, you're just going to sleep, it's time to go night night," etc. in a soft soothing voice. I didn't pat him or anything because he doesn't respond to that. But the idea is to let him learn to fall asleep without relying on anything he can't control, but to still stay with him and reassure. It can take a very long time, but I have never had to do it for more than one night (you know how bad sleep habits can come back). I don't know if this makes sense, but I hope it helps. Good luck! Oh - by the way - have you examined any issues that might contribute to the night waking? Are you sure there is no pain involved?

There was a similar request recently. I responded that I think all kids are different, and that my son never would "Cry it out," he just cried, no matter how long. So if it isn't working for you, it may not work ever, just my opinion from the way my son is. Some kids are not good sleepers. With my son, I just had to let him sleep with me so I could pat him down or whatever to get him back to sleep when he awoke. Once he was older and I could reason with him, he was able to start sleeping in his own bed (around 3) and now at age 5 he sleeps on his own. I know kisd are different and different things work, as my older son slept in his bed from the time he was born and NEVER slept with me - I did the same things with both but they had very different sleep patterns.

Good luck and God Bless whatever you end up deciding.

IMHO, I would never let my child "cry it out". Why would I do something that goes against every fiber in my being? Why should I have to resort to shutting myself in a room and turning on appliances to drown out my baby's cry when everything in my heart is telling me NOT to do that? I read tons of different "sleep" books before my child was born and the one that author that made the most sense to me was Dr. Sears. He is a big supporter of "Attachment Parenting" and co-sleeping. Our baby has been a great sleeper and I firmly believe it's because she feels safe and secure in knowing that her parents are there and will be there when she needs us. We're benefiting because we get a solid 8 hours, too!

I read a book by a lady named T. Hogg (The Baby Whisperer Solves Your Problems)and I thought she was great.

Braden wasn't one of those kids you could leave in his room crying for an hour in order to teach him how to fall asleep on his own (he would choke, throw up, cough, spit up, etc. after 15 minutes)...I did a method she suggests called pick up, put down. I have used her method since B. was 4 months old and he just goes right to sleep. She teaches routine. His pattern now is up for three hours, take a two hour nap, up for 3, take a two hour nap, up for three and bedtime. We are up at 7 and in bed at 8 like clockwork. He never wakes up...well, here and there he does...like when his ears first started up and the coughing here recently caused him to stir a lot at night...whatever she told me to do in that book, I did. I am a very routine person...very routine...I am afraid I have made my son that way! ha:)

I swear she taught me to put him to bed. Even at naps all we have to do is put him in his bed and he goes right to sleep (the grandparents think it is great too!). I spent two long-exhausting weeks (while my husband was working his call duty shift, he is a softy) doing the pick up/put down and haven't had a peep since. I just really like this T. Hogg person. I don't know what she says about older kids, since I haven't had any problems, I haven't read her advice about older kids/toddlers and how to tame them...hee:) I know though she gives advice on "accidental parenting"...she really is great. I suggest any of her books. I just went to the bookstore and found it...

Hey C.,
I would suggest not using the cry method. This will cause separation anxiety. My parents let us sleep with them and then moved us to our beds or rocked us to sleep which is the same thing I do with my one year old. Eventually he will sleep in his bed through the night but for some reason he isn't ready yet. If he is waking in the night I would just let him sleep with you for several nights so he know s you are there and then try putting him in his bed again. Our son sleeps with us many nights. Enjoy those days when they want to sleep with. One day they won't even want you around.

B.
check out my web site:
www.MoreForMyBaby.com

Hi C.,
Don't know how your doing now with your one year old. It is a hard age especially if your trying to wean them off the bottle or anything.
My grandson just turned one on the 26 of March and his mom just had a baby April 2. I stayed with them for about a week and My grandson would cry every night after a couple of hours he would go right to sleep.But one night he would not stop crying I could not stand hearing him cry My heart would break and my daughter in law was getting fustrated so I decided to get up and and check on him my instincts told me something was wrong. So I picked him up and took him with me down stairs played with him for a little while until he got really tired I took him back upstairs to his crib and then he started crying again. I checked his bottle it was clogged up for some reason I changed the nipple and he fell right to sleep. I am not saying something is wrong with your baby but it could be that he needs a little more attention than usual. I know you are tired and need sleep but hang in there they don't stay small forever even though you get my age and you wish you could go back to those years again. Play with them or let them play until they get tired believe me they well eventually sleep all night. Atfer all they are only children and thier job is to play, eat,and sleep.
Hope your nights go well rely on the Lord he will give you the strenghth you need take care.

I made terrible mistakes with my oldest son so when the 2nd came along I armed myself with as much knowledge as I possibly could. One thing that gave me the best guidance and wisdom was a book called something like "Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child". It's a very well-known book and I see copies at Half Price Books all the time.

One of the biggest helps to me was reading that all periods of sleep and non-sleep are related and everything effects everything else. The other important tip I got was that kids who are "over tired" don't sleep well.

One possibility for your son it that he isn't sleeping enough during the day so he has trouble sleeping at night. I know it's the opposite of what common sense tells you, but I took it to heart with my second child and he is a world-class sleeper whereas my first was nearly the end of me! Good luck - I certainly feel your pain.

Have you tried using different lighting techniques in the room at night. My second child preferred it to be a little brighter at night. When we only used a small night-light she would wake up numerous times and would cry for a long while before getting her back to sleep. We used the cry it out method on both girls. We inserted a 15 or 25 watt light bulb in a lamp (low wattage for low light and lower heat), we left it on all night as her night light (made sure nothing around that could touch the bulb or knock it over). She started sleeping all the way through the night, waking up only occassionally. But when she would wake up, she would easily go back to sleep on her own...with it dark I think she was afraid. Try different things and see if any of them make a difference...anything to make him more confortable and not afraid when he wakes up by himself.

Good luck and God bless!

The cry it out thing is fine, but usually that length of time of crying means something else is going on. Try a few different tactics to see what will help soothe him to sleep. Do you have a nightlight in the room? Do you have classical music playing in the background? Does he have a lovey or special blanket to sleep with? Do you have a fisher price aquarium that he can play with to "relax" from the day. Even try to give him a baby massage...head rubs work wonders for my kids...sometimes you can't fall asleep either and think of those things that are relaxing to you. Leave him for a few minutes to cry, then come in and speak in a soothing voice. Pat his back and say it's time for "Night night." And Shhhh, its ok, time for night night. Then leave the room again. Don't turn up the lights or pick him up, but let him know you are there for him. Out of sight, out of mind is a problem for little ones and he may think you are just not there anymore and that idea can frighten him even more when he is tired. Anyway, good luck, God Bless!

C., "this too shall pass." Only your one-year-old knows why he is crying, whether he is hurting somewhere, thirsty, hungry, afraid, wet, lonely, or confused at being awake in the dark... obviously he is not happy. Doctors and generations differ in their advice on this universal problem. If you have comforted, dried, provided liquid, and tended to any obvious needs, then what works for you is probably the best course of action to follow. I comforted all three of our children and missed lots of sleep during that awake-in-the-night interval in their lives.
The rest of the household could sleep on. Although I held the baby in a recliner since it was discouraged to put the child in bed with you, I think in retrospect that it would have been easier and brought much less sleep deprivation.
I wish for you a good night's sleep soon, and sweet dreams for your precious year-old son.
P.S.
When my grandson was the age of your son, I would gently rock him forwards & backwards on the footstool, singing or talking softly to him until he returned to sleep. (His parents would phone to have me go to their house a mile away when they couldn't lull him back to sleep.)
Enjoy both of your children at every age, and you will get more sleep as time goes on.
My heart is with you,
M. T

Your son sounds like mine!! One important thing is to have a bedtime routine, and calming activities prior to bed time. Another good point was made about napping during the day. It is true that over tired children will have trouble falling asleep.

Letting your child cry it out does not necessarily mean let him cry for hours. The point id for him to learn how to comfort himself and fall asleep on his own. What i would suggest is after he has been crying for a while go in and try to rub his back or talk to him in a soothing voice, but do not pick him up. You may want to first go in at 10 minutes, then wait 20, then 30 etc. Eventually he will fall asleep and it will probably take less time each night because he is comforted by the fact that you are nearby even though you are not picking him up.

Also when he wakes up do not go to him immediately let him fuss a little sometimes he will go right back to sleep.

I know how tough it is, I went through it with my son and this is what worked for us!

Good luck!

I had the same problem with my 8 month old son....someone had told me to cut out dairy from my diet completely...well i did that and now my son sleeps through the night you might wanna try it