Need Advice About My Daughter's Preschool

Besides the pin thing, the other complaints sound pretty silly to me. Not trying to be mean--just honest. Especially the bow in the hair---seriously I think the teachers have better things to do then keep track of hair bows. Also if your daughter is that hungry then she would have eaten, personally I wouldn't send a special lunch. She is not going to "starve" in one afternoon. Just because a preschool is expensive doesn't make it the best. I think you should evaluate why you picked this school to send your daughter to? Is it because they have demonstrated that they will give your daughter the best education in a great, safe, loving environment? Or is it because it had the biggest price tag attached and you assumed big price=best school? Stop worrying so much about what you are paying and getting the most bang for your buck. Focus on what is really important---the atmosphere and education of your daughter. If the latter is really great, then you wouldn't be giving a second thought to the price tag, not to mention hair bows and lunches.

yes, there are issues.

Sooo, here's my thoughts: are you expecting more because it's expensive?

You stated that you expected to be "embraced because you're new".....just because you feel entitlement doesn't mean they feel the same! If you want more communication, then it may be your responsibility to open the dialog.

As for the pin#: that shows a lack of command in the facility. Passing the buck does not make friends! The employee should have immediately taken you to the person directly responsible for this, REGARDLESS of staffing issues.

With the menu, it truly is unfair for one child to bring a special lunch & eat it in front of the other children. School age kids deal with this with more adaptability. Preschool children do not! It hurts their feelings to see someone with anything special from home. This is a perfect time to teach your child her own adaptability skills!

As for the bow: your child is not the only one there!

It truly sounds as if you are resenting the cost of this facility AND are looking for faults! I apologize for my bluntness, but either you need to relax & overlook some of these issues OR you need to move on. That's a lot to find fault with in such a short time! Peace......

As a provider myself I know how difficult communication can be. I've tried lengthy handbooks. The problem is that it's a proven fact that most parents won't read them. I tried newsletters. It was the same, they would not read them. So I started putting notes on the front door. Then parents complained it was too much to read in the morning and it made them afraid I had closed. So I started a blog. Some of my parents actually do go out and look at the pics and read the things I write. But again, most don't.

Talking to parents in the morning is just about impossible. They are busy, I'm busy, the kids are excited to arrive and there's just too much that needs to get done to stand around and talk. But the end of the day is not much better. It's too common for multiple families to come in at the same time. I've actually had parents seem miffed and upset if I don't give equal time to them all and they seem jealous if some parents are always standing around at the end of the day talking. So many parents are just too busy and in a hurry and if I try and talk to them much I get them scooting towards the door and seeming to be in a big hurry to leave.

I believe the best form of communication is email. If you can get an email for the teacher, both of you can email when it's convenient for you. By all means, I suggest you read any newsletters they may have, talk with other parents if the opportunity presents itself and see if the places has a blog or website.

As far as the bow...lol...you have already figured out that one. I'm sorry, but I can't remember who sent the barrettes and bows. I find them to be a huge thorn in my side. Often they are too small and a choke hazzard. Most kids will take them out on their own or their friends will. Then parents want us to look high and low for them at the end of the day. It's just not helpful to have that sort of thing or anything else that's too beloved at daycare. I suggest that all families hit the thriftstores for "school clothes". I get parents that grab the wrong jacket or I forget whos is whos. My helpers can't remember half the time either. We try, we really do. But it's much more important that our time be spent taking care of the children directly.

Food wise... I have to agree with the poster that said she won't starve if she has to sit in front of the schools meal. My mother was just telling me about an article that says if we taste something 11 different times, we will usually learn to love whatever it is. If she's hungry, she'll taste it at least. Of course, I'd make sure they are preparing the food right, not burned, not the same things all the time, a variety of foods, and not junky at all.

Tricky question.

I will mention that when my daughter first started school that I had some issues that bothered me about the school. Nothing major but just little things here and there. However, as the year has gone on I've decided that the things don't bother me so much and that the schools wonderful qualities far out weigh the tiny negative issues. Especially when I read some of the things that go on at other preschools I realize how lucky I am.

Do make sure that you are getting your money's worth. A friend of mine has been teaching at a daycare/ preschool that is relatively well-known and costs A LOT of money. I would expect a lot out of the school if I am paying them good money. I am shocked at how the school is run.

Chances are the school she is going to is super and it's just taking you a while to get used to sending her to preschool. That's how I was. Now I love the school and can't imagine sending my daughter elsewhere.

If your daughter were in elementary school, such issues could be overlooked b/c your daughter would be old enough to take some responsibility for her belongings, but your daughter is a toddler! Her care needs to be closer supervised, particularly her lunch. As a teacher myself (elementary), I can honestly say I would speak to the director or her teachers if such situations continue.

If your daughter is happy in her new school, that is what really matters the most. Try to relax a little bit about the other stuff. Even in the very best preschools things are going to get misplaced.

If you want more communication with the teachers then ask them questions about how your daughter's day went. Most of my daughter's teachers really didn't give me much feedback until I got to know them a little bit. Ask them things like "did she take a good nap today? did she seem to like what was served for lunch?" etc. After a month or two I was able to name just about every kid in her class and I also know who her friends are that she plays with the most and stuff like that. Now when I come in they occasionally will tell me little stories about things that happened that day. I guess a lot of teachers are just kind of used to parents rushing in and out at the end of the day and not really inquiring much about what their kids did all day.

Also, while I would have been a little annoyed with them missing the lunch that you packed, I would try just letting her stick with the school lunches for a while. I'm not sure what your school's lunches are like but at my daughter's school it would typically be something like: spaghetti, whole wheat roll, green beans, pear slices and milk. So even if she didn't like the spaghetti or whatever there were still 3 other things on her plate that she probably would eat and I know she's not going to starve. I ended up being surprised at some of the things that she would happily eat at school but never seemed to touch at home.

There are always going to be some problems dealing with childcare. You aren't being picky...you're just making sure your daughter is getting the best care. The key to being happy and working well together is communication and you will have to be the one to initiate it.

My son's school does not allow food from home because it causes problems with the other kids. They don't want kids whining because so and so got a PB and J and they didn't. Nor do they want a child with a food allergy to get a hold of something they can't have. Since your school does allow it, then you need to be forceful about it. If you tell the teacher and it doesn't get done then the next day you need to call her on it.

As far as personal items that go to school...I have learned no matter what, the teacher will not watch out for your child's things. There are 20 kids in my sons class and 2 teachers. They just don't have the time. I use to send my son to school in nice clothes and then get upset because he got paint on them or spilled grape juice on it. So I fixed that problem by just sending him to school in play clothes so I didn't get upset he got them stained or dirty. If you're going to worry about the bows I just wouldn't send her to school with them on just plain rubber bands.

These issues are typical but you definitely should address them as well.

I just pulled my son out of the "expensive" preschool he was in, too. Don't let a high fee and clean building fool you. A good preschool is one which has teachers and staff who communicate effectively with you, and show over and over again how much they care about YOU and YOUR CHILD, not your check. She will make friends at a different school, too. Live and learn. Now you know what to look for in the next school you switch her to.

Repeat after me: There is no perfect daycare... There is no perfect daycare... There is no perfect daycare...

Honestly, I wouldn't let these thing ruffle my feathers. What matters is that your daughter is adjusting well and likes going. All the other gripes are small potatoes.

As for the lunch question, it truly depends on the school's policy about outside food. Most preschools which serve lunch and snacks also claim that they "control the food on campus", meaning parents whose children have allergies don't have to worry about allergic reactions from outside food. It is very possible that your preschool will not allow outside lunches in the classroom unless there are food allergies (and even then, the preschool may take on the responsibility to prepare alternative lunches for the allergic students).

My daughter often comes home with someone else's... jacket, hair tie, t-shirt, ballet clothes in her bag. Sometimes the teachers make a mistake and put it in the wrong child's bag, sometimes the kids do... One time my daughter came back with a plastic ring; she said her friend at school gave it to her.

First, I would be mad about the lunch. There is no excuse not to notice a child who isn't eating lunch. Did you ask if she was fed a school lunch? Maybe your daughter didn't tell you that part... she just wanted her snack. If that isn't the case I would be upset and wonder who exactly are watching the children at lunch. In the future you may have to send notes in her bag or speak to her teacher directly and let her know you packed a lunch. Also, do you know if the center has an "no outside food policy?" I know some don't allow PB. I would ask more questions before being too angry.
As for the pin #, hopefully just a technical issue, who knows. But after a month I would go straight to the director and tell him/her that you would like the issue handled promptly.
The bow, I think is a non-issue. Kids loose things everyday, get used to it. There is more than one two year old with a bow in class, who can keep track of that? At least it wasn't a coat.
I would also put your concerns in an email to the center director. If you want to have a business and a personal relationship with these people be honest with them and give them a chance to respond to your concerns. Reach out to them and get involved. Create a friendship with them, help them to take care of your daughter better than you would. Tell them you are very upset that your daughter did not get lunch (if that is the case) and see if you can help to ensure that it doesn't happen again. Where my daughter goes the parents are given a paper everyday about what there child did, good and bad, there is a section that tells me how well she ate her lunch and/or whether or not she ate the food given to her (so I know if she liked it or not or if she didn't eat it at all). Maybe you could ask for a "lunch checklist" filled out by her teacher daily.

I wouldn't be so picky about the bow, but the other things I would. If the PIN # is so important to them, you'd think they would fix it!! And if they let you send an alternative lunch for your child, they should make sure your daughter gets it instead of letting her go hungry!

Is there a director/person-in-charge you could speak to? Especially about the PIN since you've made several attempts to get it fixed. You might ask her teacher if she knew about the lunch box, and if not, let her know about the lady who failed to relay the message. Are you able to walk your daughter to class yourself? You might do that next time you send a lunch, to be sure you can tell her teacher yourself.

If you want honest feedback, I think you are being a little critical of a few things, but I have a feeling your emotions are pretty raw, and they're allowing you to see things a little differently than those of us on the outside.

Our kids' day care cost almost $20K last year - it's not a fancy place. It's close to home, safe and has great teachers.

One thing we've done from day 1 is to get really involved with the staff. The director knew us by name from the first day. We were fortunate that they called each day the first week to let us know how our kids were doing (our son had just turned 2, and our daughter was 9 weeks old).

There have been issues, but none that have really made is question if it was the right facility. I feel like we did a good job of vetting prospective schools before deciding on that one.

I don't get to take the kids or pick them up much anymore because of my new work schedule. But, both my husband and I have made it a point to do more than just pick-up/drop-off with the kids. We always ask how they did that day, if there was anything going on we needed to know about. We've worked hard to establish a good line of communication and trust with the teachers. We always have the kids give the teachers a hug at the end of the day so they know they're more than just teachers to us.

It sounds like the administration at your facility is a little lax. If it were me, I'd personally ask to have a consultation with the director or owner and express your concerns. If they blow them off (and they're really important to you), I'd ask for a withdrawal without penalty. I'd just make sure to have something else lined up first if you're working.

Cost is relative - sometimes our expectations get the best of us because we're paying more for something. You've learned a valuable lesson and don't need us to beat you up for it. Just keep your expectations in check and work on finding the most nurturing environment for your daughter.

If you really want to speak the teacher, be willing to wait for her/him. Often, things in the mornings are rushed, when all the students are arriving so the teacher may have forgotten or not noticed when you said your daughters lunch was in her backpack. I would have let my daugher eat it on the way home. I think it would be wise to keep her cute bows for other days. She's going to be busy and not be concerned about her hair bows and frankly, neither will the teachers, they just dont' have the time. Did they tell you that you would be getting progress reports? I think I'd write down my concerns and make an appoint to talk to the teacher first and then the dean.

we haven't been assigned the security entry and we've been at ours for a month or so. forget the hair bow: my last 2 places lost blankets, breast milk, bottles...
as far as food. if she doesn't eat what they give her she gets hungry. I don't think they can allow all the kids bring in what they want because of preferences when they have allergies and other things to consider. Perhaps your child will try new things.

Ask them how your child did.

sounds like its your first experience w/preschool/daycare.
they are never as nice as you think they are. LOL

Have you popped in during the day to see how things are going? Anything disturbing? Have you talked to the manager about your concerns? How were things handled? A few minor incidents are not a big deal, but if they keep doing things you don't like, you should take her out. Listen to your instincts. It's a free country. You don't have to have her go anywhere you don't like and at that age she doesn't even have to be in preschool yet. Even if you don't yank her out immediately, you might want to look around for a preschool you like better. At that age, she'll adjust quickly to a new school when you find one. Good luck.