Need Advice!! (8 Yr Old Not Sleeping)

How wonderful that he has some friends. If you trust the parents, then alert them to the problem and ask them how they would feel about being awakened . If they are okay with it and you can coach them on what to do and not do, then ask them if they think their child can deal with it and would take a little coaching. Do all you can to promote these frienships. As many happy childhood memories as possible are important when the going gets tough with ADHD and/or bipolar.

Jennifer,

With regard to your son sleeping over at a friends house I would have to say let him go. Sleepovers normally dont include many hours of sleep and when the children do fall asleep it is usually at odd times. Your son will not stand out in the crowd in my honest opinion.

With regard to your son being adhd and possibly bi polar I have other thoughts. If your son is indeed bi polar it may be the manic side of his brain that is not allowing him to sleep with regularity. If he in fact is having these difficulties and he is bi polar he may need some medication to assist him with the sleep process. I would consult a Doctor who specializes in pediatric bi polar and at least discuss your concerns.

It is a long hard road sometimes. Don't forget to secure your oxygen mast before assisting others.

Sincerely,
K.

hi jennifer. my son is 7 and a half and I can relate a little- has your son ever had an EKG?? I would recommend that and perhaps a sleep study. after a lot of behavioral issues with my son I asked his ped for one and it turned out abnormal. my son has spikes in his frontal lobe upon drowsiness. needless to say he is nasty when over tired. he has little- to if any friends besides his 5 year old brother. he makes friends but cant keep them.

Here is what I did in this exact situation: I told my son when he goes into the 6th grade, I will allow him to have others spend the night, and allow him to spend the night only at the houses of parents I know pretty well. I feel by that age, a child has a few set friend they hang around...at age 8, everyone is their friend. I would also let the other children and parents know that this was our rule. I then prepared myself and took every opportunity to educated him on things like inappropriate touching, his body changing, what to say when someone touches him in private spots. We also talked about behavior and listening to mom even when I'm not around. How following what he knows is wrong can lead into a lot of trouble. I shared stories on the news, PG version, and we talked about the situations and dangers of it.I know all this seems extreme, but it really opened a door for us and he would come to me with things to talk about. At the end of the school year, 5th grade this year, I allowed him to have a few sleep overs. It was a HUGE deal with him and his friends! Now that it is summer, he has had a few sleep overs, and even lost one due to punishment.

We have a sleep problem too. If your son takes meds for his ADHD, you might want to talk to him about his afternoon dosage/medication. He also needs to know the sleeplessness of it. Sleeplessness causes ADHD symptoms. Here is what I was told to do by my doctor, and it does work. My son and I take a natural sleep aid called Melatonin 3mg one hour before bed. Also before bedtime, give him a dairy snack like yogurt or icecream, it'll make him sleepy.It does work, but consult your doctor first.

Here are a few things extra that I do: Be aware of what is in your foods and read the lable. Stay off foods/candy/drinks with dyes in it. Red dye is a stimulant. Try to have no caffine at all..limit chocolate, soda, drinks,tea, and candy. Limit sugar intake. It's best to eat the fruit for the natural sugar than drink the juice with added sugar. I do all this, and my 4 boys have very good eating habits.

I hope this info is helpful...
Many blessings!
M.

Kids hardly ever sleep at sleepovers, so maybe it isn't going to be an issue. He will probably have the best time ever and talk about it all summer!

I haven't read the other responses, but why not approach the parents and ask for their input? I'm a single mother, but if it were my son wanting your son to spend the night, I wouldn't have a problem with it. Yes, I might miss out on some sleep. However, it would be a small price to pay for the boys getting together and having a good time. That's my advice, for what it is worth! Good luck and let us know how it turns out!

Hi Jennifer,

My 9 year old was diagnosed with ADHD but he never experienced waking up in the middle of the night. However when he was taking meds to treat the symptoms he would have difficulties falling asleep at night. He would become tired and emotional from lack of sleep which would enhance his hyperactive behavior even more. I finally took him off of his meds and went the natural way. Very clique for most parents to say but he had to many adverse reactions to all of the meds that did more harm than good. When I took him off of his meds and put him on supplements, then watched his diet. What a big difference that made. He passes out every night by 9:00pm easily and wakes up every morning about 7 am. His behavior is totally modified. Now I am noticing him outgrowing his hyper activeness as he gets older. Being that there is no cure for Bipolar disorder you might consider modifying his routines and diet to control his behavior.

As far as his sleep. When my son was experiencing sleep problems one of his many doctor's was from Children's Memorial. He said they are really big on using Melatonin 1mg for children who have sleeping disorders. You can find it at Walgreen's with the supplements. Melatonin is the sleep hormone that our bodies produce to induce sleep. When children take ADHD medications it affects the pituitary gland which makes Serotonin and Melatonin and kind of hinders it causing sleep irregularities. Thus preventing them from going into a deep REM sleep. The Melatonin is totally safe and will assist in that action. Unlike Clonidine which is what most average doctors will prescribe for children. Melatonin is very essential for our bodies in order for our brains to function. He might be lacking and without enough sleep at his age it could do more harm than good.

My 13 year old son also has ADHD. He has been on meds. for it since the 1st grade. I'm not sure if your son takes meds. When my son was taking oral medication he had the ability to stay up all night. My alarm would go off in the morning and I would find him up playing video games.....he never slept. I think the ADHD in combination with the medication makes it hard for them to shut down and stay asleep, if at all. Now his medication is delivered through a patch and that seems to work much better for him. Take your son to the doctor that treats him for the ADHD and I'm sure they will be able to give you a few options. Good luck!

K.

My husband & my 22 yr old son have ADD & also had trouble staying asleep.
This is an opportunity to help your son learn how to get back to sleep. An Ipod is a good alternative to the TV. Look for relaxation or self-hypnosis recordings that will encourage him to go to sleep. They are also a great tool for calming the mind & body which has done wonders for my husband & sons moods.
Wishing you & your son wellness.

Hi Jennifer-
My boy just turned 9 in March and we went through this same thing at about 8 or 8 1/2. He also has ADHD, but I think it was more of a phase then a symptom. He has been being treated for the ADHD for almost 2 years and he only had this problem for a short time. His Dr. also recommended the Melatonin (3 mg) (completely natural) and he did take it for a while. My son would get up and EAT~~whatever he could find and then sit and eat and watch TV. We started making sure he had healthy/non sugary things around so that he wasn't eating pure sugar which would make falling back asleep harder. That helped. Secondly we did take him for a sleep apnea evaluation which does relate to ADHD symptoms as well. It was very informative and they did refer him for the sleep study. If they find a relation to sleep apnea they may remove adnoids (which then is "proven" to help ADHD symptoms). But it all may just be a phase, my son did this for about 3-5 months and then went back to a normal sleep pattern. And lastly, my son has had a few "sleep-overs" at other friends houses. They have always stayed up till around 11 and then been up around 6 ish...so all the kids get about the same amount of sleep. If he is used to going to bed say 9ish then staying up late may help him get through to the morning when the rest of the kids are getting up too. GOOD LUCK!! From one parent of ADHD child to another :o)

I would probably let a child sleep over at your home to see how he responds to sleepovers - unless you have tried that. If you do let him sleep over - I would probably alert the parents of this early morning awakenings - saying, "he's an early bird". In some families - it may be no big deal - a parent may already be awake in the household. Good luck!

Hi Jennifer,

My son just turned 9 and was recently diagnosed with ADHD. He wakes up at night and says he can't get back to sleep. He never gets out of bed though. Our Dr. told us was to make sure he has plenty of exercise during the day to help level out his brain chemicals. He drinks about 3 ounces of an all natural juice drink with adaptogens and anti oxidants. He loves it and says it helps him sleep better at night. I have a CD I can send you that features a Dr. describing the adaptogen drink and adrenal gland function and why the product works.

We recently let him camp out with a friend for the first time and he did fine. I'm pretty sure the point of sleep overs is to NOT sleep anyway... just gotta make sure they catch up on their sleep when they get home, otherwise they get pretty crabby... I hope this information is helpful...

Have a great day!

V. B.
____@____.com

With his issues, I would ask his therapist. Good luck.