At the advice of some of you ladies, I am preparing my will. I have had an arrangement with a good friend to take my kids if my husband and I both die, and I have another friend who is the beneficiary on my life insurance and will handle all of the money aspects. However, I do not have a formal will drawn up that details how the money should be allocated etc. I would like to do as much of it myself as possible and not pay someone out the wazoo to do it for me. Any tips?
Laws regarding wills vary from state to state. Do you live near a college or university with a law school? If so, I would start with a visit to the law school library.
Depends on what you consider "paying out the wazoo." Some attorneys do nothing but wills and trusts, and don't charge a fortune. It may be worth paying someone to ensure you have a solid will. Also, you mention that you're doing your own will -- what about your husband? He also must have one in case you both die at the same time, and his needs to match yours in terms of guardianship and finances. You say you have "an arrangement" with a friend to take your kids but if it's not in writing and legally correct, family members could claim your kids. Make it watertight and legal!
This is timely since my husband and I must update our wills as well and this has been much on my mind the past few weeks! We likely will go to the wills and trusts attorney who worked on a trust matter for us.
Also, remember, if your kids get your whole estate if you and husband both die, how does it work if one person has your kids but another has the finances to handle? Does the second person dole out money to the kids' guardian somehow? Those are the details that an attorney really needs to help you (and us!) handle!
Everyone (so far) who replied mentioned a lawyer. I don't think they understood your question. You said you don't want to pay someone a lot of money to do it for you (and I don't blame you), which means you were asking for advice about how to go about it without paying a lawyer a ridiculous amount of money. My husband and I went to Office Max and bought Quicken Will and did it ourselves. I think it cost around $40.00!
If you really want to do it yourself, you could use an online source such as Legalzoom. However, I would recommend an attorney. You do know that payouts to a designated beneficiary on life insurance are not considered part of the estate and if your friend decides to spend all the money on herself and not your kids, she has every right-even if you state in the will that proceeds should be spent on your children? I recommend setting up a trust so the life insurance proceeds go to that and not to an individual. Another thing to consider--assuming you die first everything goes to your husband, right? He then re-marries, dies and his new wife gets everything leaving your kids unintentionally disinherited.
My point with these examples is --there are lots of things to consider that an attorney can advise you on.
Yours is more complex b/c you aren't leaving your kids with family and your life insurance isn't payable to your estate. To ensure your wishes are carried through, you need an attorney to draft it. Also, be sure to ask him specifically how to have beneficiaries listed on retirement, insurance, etc. It's pretty typical to restrict money payable directly to your children until age 23 so they're more mature to handle that, but you'll want everything spelled out very clearly leaving friends in charge.
Most attorneys have a set price, doesn't matter if you over or under work them because that document is their work product that they are judged by.
I have a will, trust, health care power of attorney and durable power of attorney. You really do need all of them and at least my attorney will not help you if you want to pick and choose because it will not hold up when it needs to. All of that cost me 900. Money well spent to make sure my kids are taken care of if something happens to me.
Contact an attorney, one familiar with the laws of your jurisdiction. Feel free to ask how much it would cost, and what you might do to reduce your costs.
If you could gather records of all your assets, investment accounts, debts and obligations, and information about all your beneficiaries and next of kin, and identify any non probate property on which you have already designated beneficiaries, you will probably save them some work, and you some costs.
consider doing a power of attorney, and a medical one too (name escapes me right now).
Best,
F. B.
My tip is to always allocate in percentages, because the exact size of your estate will vary over time. So, you want to say something like 100% will go to my child, (then child's name and address). Or if you have 4 kids, 25% to each of the following 4 children (then name each of the 4 kids).
I really do suggest you talk to a lawyer though, because what you have written makes me wonder if you are making wise decisions. Do you really want your friend to be the beneficiary on your life insurance? You do realize that means that the $ belongs to her, and she does not have to use it to support your kids. She can take the $ and go on vacation to Aruba if she wants to, without giving a penny to your kids. This doesn't sound like a good idea. I think you need legal advice.
Personally, my life insurance is set up so that the beneficiary is my estate. That way the proceeds of the life insurance get divided based on my will. (and my will designates that my estate goes into a managed trust for my kids, which is more legal paperwork)
To apply this to you - what I think you probably really want is for your estate - including the proceeds of your life insurance - to go into a trust in your kids' names, and for your friend (the one who handles the money) to be the manager of the trust. But - I am not a lawyer, nor do I play one on TV, and this is complex, which is why I think you need to talk to a real lawyer.
First of all, why on earth is your husband and/or children not the beneficiary on your life insurance? There is no way I would ever put a "friend" as beneficiary and expect them to handle my money affairs after I'm gone. No matter how good a friend this is, you'd be surprised how money changes people - trust me, I'm going thru this right now with my sister and it's been unbelievably stressful. I never, in a million years, would have thought she'd do some of the things she's doing to me!!! Also, being a beneficiary, doesn't require her to spend it the way you're requesting. She can just take the money and run.
If I were you, I'd get a lawyer to draw up both wills - yours and your husband's. They usually charge a flat fee and, in my opinion, you would have peace of mind knowing it's done properly. Also, while you're at it, you should get a "Living Will" written up at the same time.
Good luck!!
All I've heard of is Legalzoom. I too would recommend a lawyer. The peace of mind would outweigh the costs. You also need to think about other things as well, getting a DNR if you want one, how you'd like your funeral handled etc. The lawyer could guide you through the things you might not have though about. Good for you doing this. It will help your loved ones greatly if the need arises.
