Nearly 5 Year Old Still Doesn't Know Abc's

Shrug, neither one of my boys consistently recognized, said,or wrote every letter even at the end of a year in kindergarten (both were roughly 5 3/4). But by the end of 1st grade they were reading entire Harry Potter books.

The window of "typical" is WIDE open at 3-7.

I hope you don't let it make you feel bad to hear some kids are reading at 3 or 4.

Anyway, said boys are both successful college students now on academic scholarships.

If you're concerned, why not talk to his teacher, perhaps she'll have some tips for you.

Enjoy him!

:)

I'm not saying you have to worry but I don't think it is fair to him to just wait for it to magically click.

please read to him everyday, if you can't do it at bedtime do it before breakfast.

if you have letter magnets put 4 on the fridge, 3 he knows 1 he doesn't, sit at the far end of the room and have him run to the fridge and bring you back one he knows then one he doesn't and keep going unil you have all 4.

buy him alphabet bathtub toys or bath crayons or paint and let him make his letters in the tub.
make it a game, but keep working.

Sesame Street. Every day. I never went to preschool and my mom NEVER worked with me on learning (or anything else for that matter) but by the time I started K I knew all my letters, numbers and more, just from watching 30 minutes of Sesame Street every single day.
And in my own experience my son is a WAY better reader and student than either one of my girls, he always has been, though he was "behind" until about mid way through first grade. Boy, girl, doesn't matter, ALL kids develop differently.

He just sounds 4 to me.

Quit comparing kids, right now. Sometimes if we have a people pleasing kid first, we think we have the parenting thing all worked out. Turns out, we just had an easy child first. And they may switch anywhere along the way.

Enjoy him. Letters will come.

Do look up learning styles. Visual, auditory, etc. it might not be a problem with the learner. It could be the teacher.

When I was growing up we learned out ABC's in kindergarten and first grade.
My reading took off in the 2nd half of 2nd grade.
Do not compare your son and daughter - they are different people.

If he's not yet 5, I'm assuming he's still in preschool, right? If so, absolutely, perfectly normal. There ARE kids who know all their letters, but that's not a universal at all.

Most likely, your son will do well in kindergarten, and be extremely happy there, since the instruction will be perfectly targeted to his level. Kids who start ahead of their classmates often have issues -- they'll get restless or overconfident, since they aren't being challenged. This occurs especially often with boys. Kids who are a perfect match for the instruction often bond well with their teachers and feel happy and connected in school.

This is normal. Different children learn their letters and sound differently. Kindergarten will have a heavy focus on letters and numbers and he will know them before the end of next year.

If you are frustrated, remember everyone learns a little bit different and it helps if you try a variety of styles. See it, say it, hear it, touch it, read it, write it, teach it. Try the alphabet magnets, and focus on the ones he doesn't know yet.

is he in kindergarten? if not then leave it alone. he will learn it in school. if you force it you could foster a hate of learning.

Reading is a physicals skill like walking. There is a chemical reaction in the brain, and it happens. Some kids do is early, others later. But usually by 7, they are in the same place. Finland doesn't do any academics until 7, allowing the brain time to get where it needs to go. They have a 100% literacy rate. Our rate is pathetic.

Don't push it, you will create resistance and make it worse.

He's just four. Completely normal. He will learn them all in kindergarten. My GD never attended one day of preschool, and could "sing" the alphabet but could not "read" it. She is now in 6th grade and at the top of her class.

Don't push it. Give him some time. He will be just fine. And please stop comparing him to your daughter. All that is going to do is eat away at your relationship with your son. No one wants to be compared to someone else, especially when they are the ones coming up short.

My son went into kindergarten at 5 years 4 months; he could recognize about 9 or so letters and a few numbers. He did fine and has stayed at grade level in ability (is now in first grade). Remember that children develop in different areas at different times, and that it's not uncommon for kids to go into kindergarten with just a small amount of knowledge.

Try to keep any introductions to letters and numbers fun. Kids are usually eager to show off what they know, so you don't need to quiz him or have him repeat it too much. Counting games help. Books with alphabet letters (and pictures or poems with items featuring those sounds "B is for book and blue and ball"-- keep it simple) are great. One thing I did with my preschoolers was to use an alphabet puzzle (where the pieces are the letter shapes) and turn it into a 'bakery'... they could pretend to pick out their choices by saying the letters. They loved this. You can also use a bunch of index cards or poker chips-- buy a packet of letter stickers or just write on them-- the entire alphabet. Then, hide the pieces and have the child find them. Each time they bring back a piece, talk about it. If you use poker chips, you can also write each letter on a piece of cardboard so the child can 'find the match' for the chip and place it there. You can also do this with lower case/upper case matching. Keep it fun.

Kids all mature in different ways at different times. Remember, too, that it's the social skills and self-care abilities which help kiddos most of all during their beginning of school. Teachers surveyed suggested that they often spent more class time helping the kids just 'be' in class (be it helping them through the transitions between activities to teaching them how to wipe their noses/wash hands/get along with others) than they do teaching academics. Those are more easily taught, so don't worry. (and despite all of the exhortations to keep 'working' at it.... please, remember, play is the best way for kids to learn. Drilling them only makes their association with letters very un-fun. Kids have a huge spectrum for learning this and then tend to all even out around grade three, whether they learned this stuff at 2 or 3 or 6.)

How are you teaching him the letters? Are you telling him? Writing them? Showing him a letter magnet?

It might have more to do with your teaching style not meshing with his learning style than anything else.

It was not required to know every letter and sound until the end of kindergarten in the school program here. What age a kid starts Kindergarten of course changes what age they know what they were taught all year of course.
If he's in kindergarten right now then he should know them all by the end of the school year, he still had plenty of time to learn and the teacher will work with him.
If he hasn't started kindergarten then it's completely a non-issue if he knows them all yet. He'll have plenty of time once he starts school.
Some kids pick it up faster than others, nothing wrong with them most of the time. (Of course there are some with learning problems). Some kids go straight into school already knowing it. Doesn't make any one of them smarter than the others. Doesn't mean anyone is any more behind then the others. Typically they all balance out in the end.

Keep working on them:) I don't think it's a boy/girl thing because my 3 boys knew all their letters (uppercase) at 2.

If you keep working on them, he'll have they by kindergarten!

My middle son is in kinder this year. At the beginning of school 14/20 kids knew all of their letters (uppercase). Now, 17/20 kids know their letters. Some kids just take a little longer.

There are plenty of kids that don't know their letters at this age. While many do, it's certainly not all and it's ok that yours doesn't. When my son was in kindergarten, they learned one letter each week, so those that didn't know them already pretty much all knew them by the end of the year (only two didn't).

How are you trying to teach him? Is it too much work and not enough fun? Starfall (www.starfall.com) is a fantastic site for learning letters. Word World and Super Why are great TV shows - my daughter went from only knowing "S" to knowing about 23 letters after 2-3 weeks of watching one episode daily of either Word World or Super Why. Those shows are great because they both mix upper and lowercase letters, helping kids learn both at once.

Read to him as much as you can. As he learns more letters, have him point them out in the title of the book, or ask him to find all of the "P's" on a page (or whatever letter). Find educational games and toys that help promote reading - Discovery Toys (www.discoverytoys.com) and Lakeshore Learning have excellent learning toys.

Don't stress about it. He will be just fine.

He is not 5.
Is he in preschool or Kindergarten?

Kids, regardless of gender, learn and "memorize" things, at different pacing.
Normal.
Do not, compare your kids to each other.
They are 2 different individuals.
Also, no kid, from Kindergarten to 12th grade, will get, "straight A's" each and every single time in each and every single subject or grade level.
And if a kid does not get straight A's.... each and every time, it does not mean, they are lesser of a student. Or not as "smart."

Your son, is only 4.
My son, had only 6 months of Preschool. Then he went to Kindergarten at 4 years old, then turned 5. He could enter Kinder per the age cut-offs for the school. At that point, he did not know EVERYTHING. In Kindergarten they still learn the ABC's and counting etc. It was, no problem. He had no "learning problem."
Kids, all learn, at different... pacing.
Kids, do not learn, all at the same, pacing.
Even my son's Kindergarten Teacher, said NO worries!
My son is in 2nd grade now. And he is real bright.
But, all kids, have an aptitude for certain things, versus other subjects. Normal. JUST like, adults.
The MAIN thing, that a kid needs to learn... is that: it takes WORK and liking to learn... in order to be, "successful" and do well, in school.
Just because another kid seems "smarter" than another kid, it does NOT mean, that kid is... better or "smarter" than the other kid.
Being "smart".... takes work... and it takes learning to have a work ethic. To work for it, and learn the PROCESS of learning. It is not instant.

And, some kids can easily memorize... things. But that does not mean, they comprehend it. Nor that they can them summarize or write an essay on it. Memorization is different, that comprehension.

MANY successful people, child or adult, are successful because, they worked at it, and went beyond.... what they had to do, in order to research and learn... a subject. And NEEDED help.... with learning, what was needed to be learned.

Needing help with learning or not needing help with learning... does not equate to whether or not a child is adept, or inept. At academics.

I have a son and daughter.
I don't compare them to each other.
They are both different.
And it is not just about gender.
If it were, then all boys... would be "slower" to learn the alphabet, than girls.
And that is just not so.

I also work at a school.
And, differences in kids, cannot all be just "blamed" on gender differences.

Its normal if you have not been working on it. You say snow day, so I assume you had him in a program? If so I would ask his teachers. Maybe the curriculum is not what you thought? I'm amazed at what my three year old girl knows just watching me homeschool our Kindergartner, though I have not worked with her on it much at all and she is not in a preschool program. I know if I spent the time, she'd have it down in a few weeks. Whatever you do, don't show your frustration. Its important to foster a sense of delight about learning, not make it miserable. Take a step back and spend 10 minutes and no more than 10 minutes a day on letter recognition and sounds. See if he catches up in a few weeks. If he does, you know that his preschool is not teaching it to him. If he does not catch on in a few weeks, I think you may very well have a problem.

Mine would do that too.. forgetting if he was doing cards with me. But he learned it from a leapfrog video.. the way they did it was catchy and he watched it repeatedly til he knew.. he was close to 3... I wouldn't think learning disorder yet and I don't think boy/girl difference.. just keep at it.. he'll get it :)

I'd say he's at a 4 year old level. He will start reading stuff in kindergarten but even in first grade he can still be learning to read.

If you go to parentcenter.com and do him you can look at what stages and stuff he's supposed to be doing.

Some kids need a little extra work. Don't let him see you are frustrated because that will make him feel bad. Just let him keep practicing a little every day and it will come.

My younger son had trouble learning his alphabet, mom. I had a big puzzle that formed a train, and each car had a letter on it. He couldn't put the letters in order, and he was 4 years old. He was in twice a week speech/language sessions and OT, and I felt that he must have some kind of learning disability. I found a preschool tutor who worked with him doing FUN stuff, like cutting out magazine pictures of things that started with certain letters and making a picture out of it, drawing letters with whipped cream, etc. Still, it just didn't "click" for my son. So she tried a computer game by DK (Doris Kindersley) called "Bear and Penguin - I Want to Read". It worked. All of a sudden it was like a light bulb turned on for him, and he started figuring it out. I bought the Bear and Penguin beginning math game, and he loved it too. It helped so much.

We moved and I had him in a wonderful pre-K program. I had hoped that he would go to kindergarten when he qualified age-wise for it, but the preschool recommended that he wait a year. It was hard for me because I had tried so hard to get him ready - lots of early intervention - but I had to put myself aside and realize that he was not mature enough and still needed my help. Once I took myself out of the equation, I have never looked back and have never been sorry. It has helped him so much in later grades that he wasn't the youngest in the class.

I recommend that you get a preschool teacher who has real experience working with kids, who will not sit him at a DESK, who won't use flash cards. She should do FUN stuff with him to help him learn. Use the computer - if you can find something like what I am talking about with DK, that is wonderful (Bear and Penguin was a long time ago - maybe they still have it - I don't know.) Whatever you do, don't treat him like he's 8 and expect him to learn like a first grader. School age tutoring will not help.

My son did fine by the time he was in first grade. Learned to read on time too. He did know his letters and numbers by the time he got to kinder with all the help I got him. It was FUN learning. Not academic learning. That is the key. He's a senior in high school now and doing fine.

Very normal. All your answers have been great. My daughter knew the abc song at that age, but didn't recognize all the letters. She didn't care to do flash cards, so I had to keep trying different tactics fo keep things fresh and find what worked best for her.
I saw a big difference during the one month trial of abcmouse.com. By the time she started Kidnergarten she could write her name and all letters of the alphabet (no preschool or daycare).
I dropped abcmouse now. But give her starfall.com, abcya.com, or readwritelearn.org as options during screen time.

My son was super young when he learned the alphabet and my daughter is now 4 and has not mastered it. My son was really into letters and numbers and not art. His handwriting is not as nice when he was the same age as my daughter.

I recall my son's kindergarten teacher saying during the first week to all the parents that the kids in the class have a wide range. Some are reading and some do not know the alphabet.

You have gotten a lot of great advice already. One thing that I didn't see as I skimmed through the answers was to have him watch the Leap Frog Letter Factory DVD. My older three children all loved that movie and between that, the Leap Frog Fridge Phonics, and the Leap Frog flash cards (we only used those maybe once a week just to see which letters they recognized) they all knew their letters before starting Kindergarten.

My first and third were sponges like your oldest and knew them all by 3 years old, but my second took longer... Between these things and many of the other suggestions though he knew them all before starting K.

Your son is definitely in the normal range, but I would continue to work with him. Unfortunately with the changes in curriculum due to Common Core Standards, Kindergartners are now expected to know all of the letters (upper and lower case), their sounds, and 20 sight words by the end of the first quarter (at least in our district). The more he knows before starting Kindergarten the less stressed he will be at the beginning of the school year when he is trying to adjust to school.

Different kids, different time lines and different strengths. Normal is a big range for a reason.

You might try a couple of different learning methodologies. For example, put half an inch of sand in the bottom of a plastic storage container (kitchen Tupperware style). Draw a letter in the sand, then let him try. One of my daughters was (& still is) a HUGE tactical learner. Another good tactic is to cook a few strands of spaghetti and let him use the wet noodles to draw letters. It's about using things he can touch in an unconventional way.

As a mom of 4 (my "baby" is now a 20yo college sophomore), I agree with some of the other posters. Support his learning but don't sweat it. Make learning a normal part of the day but don't force it. Read. Read. Read. Ask for his "help" in identifying letters on labels at the grocery store. Make sure he has some skin in the game. If he can find a treat that begins with one of the letters he struggles with, he gets to buy it as a special bonus. Stuff like that helps.

Hang in. Different learning timetables are OK.

I assume he is not in nursery school. You might want to find him some kind of low key program to help him a bit. Can he write his name, know colors, etc. does he know,his numbers. Hard to,say if it is normal or not , without knowing if he can do the other things I mentioned.

Depends. How much time has he spent learning them? My daughter learned them on her own (without me directing her learning, is what I mean) at about 2 1/2. She did this playing with a much loved toy in the car (one of those leapfrog frogs with the alphabet on a grid on his tummy that said the letters when you pressed them and had little song things to each one).

Son was older, but he didn't like to sing. So trying to get him to sing the alphabet song with me was torture for us both.
But music is really the easiest way to learn some things.

Learning the letter sounds is the first most basic step to learning to read. Check out "Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons". They don't need to know the letter NAMES, but they will know them when they finish the 100 lessons. Learning the sounds they make (instead of their names) is actually more important to learning. And this book teaches them that way (by the sound they make).

Hi Christy,

I home schooled both my girls. My first sopped it up like your daughter. My second was not reading at seven....I worked and worked and worked. She was extremely bright and I was confused at her not remembering anything. A friend suggested that it might be toxins in her environment and suggested I detox my home. I was a clean freak and couldn't imagine anything being wrong but I was at my wits end. .....so I detoxed my home. It was amazing. My Lydia was on grade level reading within 8 weeks. Apparently, she was sopping it up but her little brain had it so jumbled she couldn't articulate it.

Just an idea. It was a Godsend for me. If you want to know what I did, let me know. I'd love to share.

M.

I've had some children of my own or in my daycare learn their letters as early as before age 2 and some who still needed more help at age 5. There is a large range of normal. Keep it fun--I don't do alot of worksheets though we do have writing practice--authentic writing though--making labels for the things in the pretend grocery store, writing letters to people etc. I have a large ABC floor puzzle--2 complete ones and I just make up games with the puzzle pieces. Starfall.com and SuperWhy are great resources. Help him associate the letters with people names---N is for Nana, P is for Pappy, M is for Mommy etc--that was a way alot of my kids enjoyed learning letters. Start by teaching him the letters in his name and then you can help him learn the letters in his family members' names too--learning in context is way better than by flashcards.