Nap-time Woes

I have had the same problem with my son, I found that sitting in his room and reading a book to myself keeps him in bed long enough to fall asleep, and gives me a few minutes of reading that I don't have to feel bad about! :)

Try getting her to sleep in the car, then bring her in the house *in her carseat*. See if she sleeps longer that way.
I may be the movement of the car, if so I'd try the vibrating clip you and clip to the side of the crib and it sends vibrations throughout the crib.

You may try this: Come nap time, settle things down in the house, tell her it's nap time, take her in there and for a few minutes read or sing to her to get her mind in "nap mode." Once she falls asleep, have some soft "white" noice going. Running water, rainfall, (quite!)tv fuzz worked for me. As long as my little one had some type of soft noice playing he would sleep till I woke him.
I also found that if the the house was loud when he fell asleep and then things became quite, he would wake up. Same when the house was quite and after he fell to sleep if it would become loud, he would wake then too!

Best of luck!
V.

N.,

When I was little, my parents used to play a game with me at naptime. I think I was about 4 or 5, but they would come into my room with me and lay either on my bed with me or next to the bed on the floor and say "Okay, let's see who can fall asleep the fastest. On your mark, get set, go!" They'd promptly close their eyes and pretend to go to sleep, while I, desperate to win, would close my eyes too and try to beat them. After peeking a few times to see if they had won, I'd be out. Yeah, kinda lame, but to a 3 year old who's trying to get out of taking a nap, what could be better than beating Mommy? Also, classical music worked for my sister and myself (still does, haha) and my kids are out within 15-20 minutes when I turn that on on repeat. I suggest Vivaldi's Four Seasons or Pachabel Canon in D.

Hope that helps!
A.

Is your daughter cranky at night when she doesn't get a nap? My daughter is 3 as well, and most days she doesn't take any kind of nap. It rarely affects her mood.

She has "school" twice a week, and they have quiet time. Her report every day says that she wasn't sleepy. I figure my daughter has simply outgrown her naps, and it could be the case for your daughter as well.

A lot of the moms have suggested quiet time, and we still do that most days. Sometimes, I'll have her lay down in our bed, and I might lay down with her for a few minutes and then tell her to keep her eyes closed and no talking. I'll leave her for about 45 minutes or an hour. She rarely sleeps, but at least she gets the rest. And, with her being in our bed, there are no distractions to tempt her! It's a huge treat for her to be able to lay down in our bed, especially if I stay with her for a little bit.

Sounds like she doesn't require a nap anymore. Lots of kids typically give them up around 2 1/2 or 3. Like others said, move her bedtime up to compensate. My 3yo rarely takes naps but will frequently fall asleep at dinner (5:30 or 6) and he's out for the night. Adjust, see how she does without a nap, adjust again. That's the name of the game. IMO it's not worth the fight. I've found my kids stretched out on the livingroom floor like the fell asleep in their tracks. Kind of funny and just part of growing up. Don't forget to take pictures.

N.,
My daughter is 2 1/2 and was pulling the same thing about nap time and she would be so cranky by 6 or 7 if I gave up and didn't "make" her take a nap. I soon found out that it is a power struggle thing. I started telling her that she did not have to sleep but she had to stay in her room, rest and look at books in bed. It work every time! She talks and looks at books for about an hour and then sleeps for 2 hrs.

good luck

My son was the same way. He still at 11 months will sleep in the car every time. My pediatrician told me not to let him "cry it out" until he was 6 months old. My in-laws said to let him cry it out and bought me a book called "Baby Wise". My husband and I could not stand the screaming. Your little one will get accustomed to the bed for naps. You will find that the sleep patterns will change frequently. Maybe if you are not in desperate need of a nap your self, plan errands and let her sleep in the car! I say do what you have to do, your husband is a man, what does he know! LOL Good Luck and hang in there, it does get better!

I have a spirited 3 year old as well. I don't make him take a nap, although if we start to have behavior issues, I drive him around the block until he is sound asleep, then bring him back into the house. It really isn't worth the battle. 3 days a week, he's in MDO, and he naps for them. The other 2 weekdays he doesn't fall asleep until we leave to pick up his big brother. On weekends, he either doesn't take a nap, or Daddy will go lie down with him (we call this the "Nap Trap") until he goes to sleep. Maybe just try quiet time, reading in a rocking chair together or something, too. But don't turn your emotions upside down about it.

I'm sorry that I have no advice, but I sure hope you get some good responses! I'll be watching carefully as I have a 14mo that I still resort to putting in the car for naps at times and just saw my future-self in your post!

As for the husband thing...hmmm, no advice there, either.... probably only rants! ;-)

P.

We went through sort of the same thing for a while with our son, at about the same age. I know I will get MAJOR criticism for this, but I made peace with it, it worked for me. In the afternoons we made a rule that he had to lay down and rest. That usually meant laying on my bed and watching a movie. Most of the time I would put the movie in and he would fall asleep about 1/2 way through, other days he didn't sleep, but would lay there quietly and watch. Although I couldn't always get him to sleep, at least he would rest and be quiet for a bit. Like your daughter, he sleeps great in the car, but I couldn't just drive around for hours everyday!
Good luck!

Have you tried skipping the nap and going to bed early. We do that and it works. Our 3 and 5 year old both have adjusted and it's great!!!

My 3 year old stopped taking naps at about 2 1/2. I stopped fighting it and we just push bedtime up. Our boys sleep 11-12 hours at night--straight through. Some days if my younger one is extra tired he will fall asleep, but then he won't go to bed until 10pm. So I prefer the early to bed, I actually keep him up sometimes.

Our typical evening schedule is: dinner by 5pm or even 4:30 if extra cranky. (Daddy travels a lot so we don't have to wait for him). Then bath, play (puzzles or books, or time w/ Daddy) and up to read stories, etc and into bed by 6:30 or so. The boys are asleep by 7 or 7:30 at the latest.

It took a little while to adjust my schedule to it (make dinner earlier), but it saved my sanity. And my husband and I actually have time alone in the evenings (when he is here).

good luck.....as for husbands--they are trying to do their best too. Mine doesn't understand what it takes to keep up w/ the kids all day but he tries to offer advice (sometimes not so nicely)to "help me out." Just know, unless he doesn't have your best interest at heart, your husband is trying just like you are.

hang in there....your child will be little for only a short while. -----Susan

I gave up on the naps. Now my daughter sleeps 10-12 hours at night without waking up. That was a fair trade. It just wasn't worth the battles. Yes, it would have been nice to have a day-time break (for me) but she's just not the average kid and trying to MAKE her be one just wasn't healthy for either of us. She does take a rare nap if she really needs one. If she acts cranky however, I do make her lay down for a "quiet time" and she can read books or watch a movie. (BTW, I'm 43. Are we crazy or what!) I'm a lot less stressed now that I gave up on the naps. And it definitely improved her nights.

As far as husbands go... just smile and let him give it a try. That will end it!!
:-)

I certainly don't consider myself a "wise" mommy, but can say whenever I hear anyone talk about sleeping issues, I refer them to a book called Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weisbluth. It has worked wonders for my family. I'm not sure how I would have survived the first year of motherhood without it. You might check it out next time you are in a book store to see if it even hints to your problem. I do know it is written for newborns thru early teen years.

I've also heard and read time and time again how young children, even at the age of 3 & 4 really need 12-14 hours of sleep a day including naps. If they don't get adequate sleep, then they often times are over-tired and unable to sleep. How are bed-times? What time? Does she fall asleep easily? This is all addressed in the book as well.

I don't have any advice on the husband issue, so can only say "good luck" with that! ;-)

My daughter stopped napping at 2 1/2. Basically, she stopped when she could climb out of the crig. It was a battle. I gave up. It really sucks, excuse my language, because you lose that quiet time. I had a 4-month-old at the time which was really fun. Have you tried "quiet time" with books and low lights? Videos? I think when they are ready to stop napping, you cannot fight it. My little one still naps. She is almost 3.

I have felt your pain.....I have four kids and went through the same thing with my first two....until I read BABY WISE by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam. It helped me tremendously! It's about setting a routine of: feeding baby, having them stay up for a little bit and then putting them down for naps...in that order...and being VERY CONSISTENT about it. It worked for my last two little ones....And yes, husbands are like that....they are "fixers", they want to help us out and want to feel like they are contributing....Hang in there and good luck!

HI, N., She needs to be prepared for kindergarten where the state requires them to lay quietly for a certain amount time. I agree with the others that it is not worth the fight but it is important that she get enough sleep. I have children ranging from 17-8 and I can tell when they have not had their 10-12 hours sleep.

Also, a sound machine can make a lot of difference if she is a light sleeper. I had to get one for myself!

AND, YES, ALL HUSBANDS THINK THEY HAVE TO BE RIGHT ALL THE TIME ABOUT EVERYTHING AND THEN WONDER WHY ALL OF THE SUDDEN WE BLOW UP OVER THE STUPIDEST DEBATE!

N.,

I can relate to you very well! (For one thing, I'm a forty-something SAHM to 2 year old and 5 year old daughters.)

I am like the mom who said she recommends, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." It is a great book with very good, helpful information. My husband and I also went through parenting classes from the Growing Kids God's Way/Babywise approach (which I know is not everyone's cup of tea - we found it helpful, especially if you modify it to fit your own personality and beliefs).

Having said that, I will say that while my children take naps easily, my five year old almost always gets into bed with us at some point during the night. She also has a harder time falling asleep and sleeps lightly. I definitely need to read my sleep book again, but I also have just kind of accepted that her needs are different. I think we do have to train our kids on how to go to sleep and/or how to at least rest (whether actually napping or not - sitting on bed with books can be restful), but I also have come to realize that it is very human for my daughter to want to be with us...and I doubt she'll still crawl into our bed at 15 years of age! She would still be welcomed by me, though! :)

Now, as for husbands who know everything and are always right....like I said, I relate to all you said and just loved the responses you got! It's a little comforting to me to see that. I thought we had an extreme situation. Isn't it the mommies who do most of the reading, research, and networking about their kids? And yet the daddies have lots of answers! We try to realize that both our views could be right and find a balance...but we both get annoyed that each of us secretly think we're "more" right than the other!

Another thought - this could just be a battle of willpower and control, too. My 26 month old is going through this right now in a major way! We have been taken aback how loud this sweet, gentle, people-pleaser can yell NO lately! Whatever it is, hang in there!

N.,
I was in your boat but with a 14 month old. I tried everything it seemed. I finally read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby," became extremely consistent and followed through on its advice, and now my son sleeps in his crib at night AND for naps. I feel like a new woman. :) Before implementing the changes, however, I had my husband read a few chapters (the author tells in the intro which chapters to read to just get to the nitty gritty) so he was part of the consistency. I can't tell you how many hours I spent driving my son around for naps before we started our routine. Feel free to email me back.
Good luck!
M.