Names for Lost Baby

Updated on February 15, 2017
K.H. asks from Sterling Heights, MI
53 answers

I have a bit of an unusual question. I was carrying twins and lost one in the 22nd week, it was heartbreaking. The other twin was alive so I had to carry both babies until the surviving one could be safely delivered. Luckily and happily I have a beautiful son who I adore. However, I also love and miss the baby that I lost. By the time I delievered the doctors were unable to tell me the gender of that child that passed away so here comes my problem. I have decided I would like to name the baby and memorialize him/her some how. The issue I am finding a gender neutral name. First, most of them are spelled differently for a boy verses a girl. And second, I would like a first and a middle name. My other two children's names are Stephen George (the twin) and Katherine Lynn so I lean towards the strong traditional names. Does anyone have any suggestions for me? Maybe this isn't as hard as I'm making it seem, it is just such an emotional issue for me.

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Featured Answers

K.C.

answers from Barnstable on

Kai (K-eye) means "the ocean" and can be a girl or boy name. You could get a beautiful sea shell and plant it under a tree for him/her.

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C.J.

answers from Detroit on

I like the name Gabriel. I was going to name my son that, but I kept hearing it more for girls as well. For a middle name, maybe Spencer. For more unisex names, go to http://www.babynames.com/unisex-names/
Also, I don't have solid evidence to back this up, but a very knowledgeable friend of mine told me that almost all miscarriages are boys, as they are much weaker in utero.

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K.T.

answers from Phoenix on

I really don't have any suggestions except Kayden or Caiden. Most of what I've read says it means "fighter"..which I'm sure that little angel was until he passed... I've seen alot of boys and girls named this recently... Also, this post absolutely broke my heart, I can usually read posts objectively and remove myself from the situation...but this one left me in tears and I'm so sorry that anyone would have to go through this..I've never heard of anyone having to carry only one surviving baby before.. I've never experienced anything of this magnitude, but the thought of having to go day to day how you did knowing that only one of my babies was going to come out alive makes me nauseous. I hope you come out stronger for yourself and your family, and I don't think you are making this harder than this has to be at all... I truly, sincerely wish you the best of luck.

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D.C.

answers from Johnson City on

Hi K..
I am so sorry for your loss.
If you knew they had been in the same amniotic sac and shared a placenta, that likely means they were identical and the precious angel you lost is a boy. But since the dr said there was no way of knowing, that leads me to believe they were in separate sacs/ with seperate placentas.
I think if you don't feel strongly about the sex of the child, something special is appropriate (like Angel as other moms have suggested) and maybe have no middle name.
I miscarried one at 12 weeks and one at 7 weeks and I never named them, but a friend lost one at 12 and named it Aiden because to her, that was unisex.
Dakota is also unisex, I don't remember seeing that suggested.
Lee is a good middle for either and doesn't have to be spelled Leigh as female.
Good luck and I wish you peace on your time of happiness and grieving.

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F.C.

answers from Tampa on

I am sorry for your loss, I have had 3 and I tend to refer to them all as Angel...which is gender neutral and at the same time reminds me they are always with me.

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T.F.

answers from Eugene on

I'm so sorry. To answer your question - I was thinking of Riley as well. I just really like that name too. You could also go with Jordan.

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H.T.

answers from Hartford on

I am sorry for your loss.. My daughter's name is Ryleigh, I have seen it spelled Riley for both boys and girls, also Jessie, Sidney, and Jordan are names I've known both boys and girls to have.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.S.

answers from Cleveland on

My heart goes out to you. I bet it is HARDER than you make it seem, and I applaud your search for the perfect name for your baby.
The first thing that popped into my mind was Angel. It may not be totally traditional as your other two children, but it can be used for either gender, is very popular in many cultures, and is very fitting in this situation.
Most of the other gender neutral names that I think of aren't totally traditional either, but they are popular now.... here are my initial thoughts...
Alex
Jessie
Riley
Ryan

Very traditional ones might be Chris or Pat, but that would be short for other names.

I hope you find peace and the perfect name!

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D.K.

answers from State College on

Sorry for the loss of one of your twins and congrats on Stephen. That must have been really hard for your family and I think it is a great idea to do something for your baby.

Alex, Riley, Michael are a couple I can think of right now. You may be able to google unisex names to come up with more. Maybe pick a name with a special meaning you and your family from older family names.

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D.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

So sorry for your loss and I give you a lot of credit for being able to put this wonderful idea together. Stephen and Katherine are very lucky to have such a loving mommy. The only traditional gender neutral names that I can think of are Dana, Jamie, Lynn, Robin, Sunny, Jordan, Jesse, Taylor, and more recently Ashton, and Logan. Traditional names Aubrey, Stacy, Kelly, Kim and Tracy were neutral names but it depends on how you feel about them. As for a middle first thing that came to my mind was Love. I also like what another poster said about using Angel. What ever you choose I am sure that it will be perfect.
Good Luck and my God grant you continued strength

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K.T.

answers from Minneapolis on

Adrian, Ashley, Casey, Jude, Francis [one of the meanings of that name is "free"], Reese, Lee, Jamie and Jessie

I'm so sorry for your loss

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Α.Δ.

answers from New York on

I am so sorry for your loss! =( I know that it must be difficult for you... here are some names that i came up with that are neutral..

Mika Jones
Ashley Harper
Hunter Alexis
Cameron Alexis

Other traditionally unisex names: Marion, Jackie, Val, Jamie, Morgan, Jan, Pat, Jerry, Robbie, Dale, Lee, Lynn, Courtney, Cameron, Whitney.

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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I am so sorry for your loss.

I like Casey and Jamie, both mentioned below. Jordan is also a good gender neutral name that is spelled the same way for boys and girls.
Morgan
Reese
Alex
Cory
Robin
Taylor
Terry

1 mom found this helpful

A.C.

answers from Houston on

Fist, I am sorry for your loss. The fact that you had to carry the lost baby until delivery of the surviving twin is very saddening. I miscarried my first child about 16 weeks along, and it was devastating. I too, wanted to commemorate my lost child by naming the baby and referring to it by name. I chose the name Riley, which is gender neutral and very sweet. I have two other children that now have a guardian angel watching over them. Blessings to you and your family. Losing a child is never easy, and it's something you can's just "get over".

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M.S.

answers from Greensboro on

Hi K.,

We named our lost twins Christian and Christiana after the characters in Pilgrim's progress. Christian is gender neutral and would be fitting for a little one already in heaven.

God bless!

M.

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✩.!.

answers from Denver on

Hi there. I just saw your post, thou it has already been a couple of days and you have had a lot of response. I just wanted to suggest the name Shannon.

I am sorry for your loss.

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K.N.

answers from Houston on

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. And what you are planning is a beautiful thing. Have you thought of Chris, Gail, Lee, Drew, or how about just naming the baby something very different, like Star or Angel.

Good luck, I am praying for you

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A.W.

answers from Sacramento on

I'm so sorry for your terrible loss. I had 3 miscarriages, too early to tell the gender, but we also named them. It helps with the healing process. Here are some names that might work: Casey, Corey, Jackie, Jamie, Kerry, Christian, Loren, Ashton, Jessie, Kelly, Leslie, Adrian, Alex, Devon, Jordan, Robin, Micah, Randy, Riley, Taylor, Shawn, Cody, Rene'. God Bless.

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S.T.

answers from Kansas City on

I'm very sorry about your loss! I lost my first child to prematurity at 23.5 weeks, and we had a birth certificate because she was born alive. We named her the most meaningful, family-connected choices from our list so that she would always be connected to this family.

I've met a lot of loss moms over these six years, and in cases where gender wasn't possible to "know", I think the mother sometimes had strong feelings one way or the other. I would encourage you to just assign gender at this point if you had strong feelings and name accordingly, but if you really didn't have that feeling from your baby, the gender neutral name choices are good. It's easier at a memorial service or the future to say "him" or "her", but go with what you feel on that.

Jaime has always been a favorite of mine, or
Shawn
Shannon
Reese
Chris
And my middle name (and my living daughter's) is Lee, from my dad and all of the men before him in the family.

We also planted a tree on the date my daughter was due and volunteer for the March of Dimes in her honor. Our lives can be changed forever by these tiny people. Best wishes to you in your journey.

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L.B.

answers from New York on

I am sorry to hear about your loss. I cannot think of any traditional gender neutral names. The names that come to mind are; Jessie Morgan, or Madison Quinn

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F.R.

answers from Milwaukee on

I'm so sorry for your loss. After I went into preterm labor and we lost our son, we named him Angel, because that is what he'll always be for us up in Heaven. Again, so very sorry for your loss.

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J.P.

answers from Savannah on

What about your maiden name as a middle? Or that of a special grandparent, aunt etc. And definately go with what YOU and your husband want. I cant imagine imagine how hard this must be, it's an extremely emotional issue, and my heart goes out to you and your family. How difficult to go through what you have. I hope your new baby boy is making it a little more bearable to go through this! Go through a name book, and go with what feels right to you. Who cares about the spelling! This is for you and your little angel you lost. Take care, and go with your heart.

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K.B.

answers from Houston on

I'm so sorry for your loss. Here are a few suggestions:

Taylor
Cameron
Avery
Ryan

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

That is so sad for you, and so beautiful and sweet to do. Your healty little boy is lucky to have you. I was trying to think of names, but the suggestions that Heidi T. gave put the name Riley Jordan into my head and I couldn't come up with anything that sounded nicer.

Hugs to you in your sad time.

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E.F.

answers from Detroit on

Did you have a feeling on the gender? Could you pick a gender and go with that? I don't see any reason you could not pick a gender, name the child, and refer to the child as either he or she rather than "the baby". It may sound weird, but I think I would pick a gender, pick a name, and then you do not have the turmoil over finding a gender neutral name. This is such a trauma as it is, do not make it any more difficult on yourself. Another option would be to choose a name you really like, and refer to the child by the initials. Jonathon David/Jennifer Diane would simply be JD - you know what the initials stand for, but you don't have to reveal that. You could pick one gender name you like or two with the same initials, as I have demonstrated. Good luck, and I am so sorry you have this grief by congratulations on your happiness at the same time. God bless you.

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M.S.

answers from Appleton on

I an so sorry for your loss. I would suggest a name like Taylor which is very gender neutral. For a middle name you could use a name like Lane which is also neutral.

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R.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

oh my i am so sorry for your loss but happy to hear your other baby is healthy.

avery, ashley, adrian, andy, angel, alex , cameron, casey, cassidy, blaire, brent, corey, dana , dallas, devon, dyllan, erin, evan, harley, haiden, hayden, hunter, haley, jesse, jaden, joran, julian, jamie, jan, jude, kelly, kelsey, kendal, kennedy, kerry, lee, leselie, lane, lindsey, logan, morgan, madison,marley, micah, noel, paris, parker, perry , peytom, quinn, reegan, reese, riley, robin, reed, rene, sydney, scout, skye, skylar, stacey, sunny, sean, shane, sage, taylor, terry, tory, tyler, tony, tracey, whitney, winnie, zane..

hoefully i helped some and good luck

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

Frances or Sam. Both gender neutral and traditional. I am so sorry for your loss.

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M.O.

answers from Chicago on

I can't believe what you've been through. You are a saint!

What a wonderful idea! I really like the name Reese - gender neutral. Also Jamie, Jesse or Lee. BTW - Jamie Lee Curtis was named a gender neutral name on purpose. It's an interesting story if you check into it.

Another thought, what about Gabe? The angel Gabriel is a pivotal angel in the Bible. You already have your own angel watching over you and your family too.

Here's a link for you to get more ideas: http://www.yeahbaby.com/popular-baby-names/article.php?pa...

God bless. And know that your son is destin for greatness! He has already proven that God was watching him and taking extra good care of him.

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A.W.

answers from Texarkana on

How about Austyn - could be girl or boy name spelled that way - my boss has a granddaughter named Austyn and her middle name is Ellis.

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C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

I am sorry for your loss. I know what its like to lose a child at 20 weeks.

I'm glad to hear that you have a healthy boy!! May God grant him many happy and healthy years!!!

Can you ask your OB about the lost baby? There is sure to be a note of it on your son's birth certificate - a note that he was a twin and ended up being a single birth.

Tyler is a name that I've seen on both boys and girls
Taylor

These are the only names I can think of right now - sorry - caffeine hasn't kicked in yet!

My best to you - I'm sorry for your loss!

Cheryl

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K.M.

answers from Detroit on

Well I am going to assume it was a boy twin. Iwould name it like ryan Micheal or Ryan John or do a middle name from like one who is passed also like a great grandpa or someone your aware of. Ryan or there are others that can be used as mutual boy or girl names like Morgan Best wishes and just enjoy the other two they need there mom and things will get better but will take a while I will keep you in our prayers

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G.B.

answers from Detroit on

You might want to use a family last name, perhaps your maiden name, for one of the names and a gender-neutral name for the other. I think this is a wonderful idea, and something to give Stephen and Katherine comfort down the road - a bit more of an identity for their lost sibling. Is there an elderly or deceased family member whose name you could use?

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M.P.

answers from Detroit on

Shelby, Chris, Sam, Pat

I wouldn't worry about the spelling. The most important is that you know you gave the baby a name and to remember the baby that has a name.

This takes great courage on your part.

I am so sorry for your loss.

Many blessings.

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K.K.

answers from Saginaw on

I would suggest your maiden name as a middle name. That way there is meaning and gender does not matter.

I see your sons name is Stephen, perhaps there is a gender neutral name that might start with the same letter?

Stacy is both a boy and girl name
Sam, Shannon, Sky?

or of course...there is always the name Angel

R.D.

answers from San Francisco on

You certainly are a very strong person to be asking for names, I think it is very honorable to. My deepest sympathies go out to you and your family. I am so sorry my heart goes out to you.
Here is a couple of names that may take as a girl/boy: Mikelle and Keetan, These could be used for either girl/boy. Ask your other children as well so they can possibly come up with a couple of names and it will make them feel so much better as well. Mikelle (Mike) Keeten (Keety) Both being very nice names. Your litle angel is gone to the other side and I am sure that he/she is watching over you right now! I am so sure that you are having your bouts of anger and tears but you can be rest assured that he/she is very happy at home, with all of those lost before he/she. Lots of love while you are going through these rough times.I hope that I may have helped.

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G.K.

answers from Detroit on

I am so sorry for your loss and I hope that in time you will find some peace, I really do!

I have a book of baby names and I looked up the "Unisex Names." they had listed: Chris, Tracy, Taylor, Nicky, Shelly, Casey, Leslie, Avery, Stockard, and Devon.

I don't know if any of these names help you, but I thought I would give you the list. Also, go with your gut instinct. It sounds like your baby was a little protector over the other twin.

Good luck!

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B.S.

answers from Detroit on

I'm so sorry for your loss - that must be very difficult for you.

A friend of a friend had a loss at the same gestation, and were unable to find out the gender ~ they named the baby Riley.

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C.R.

answers from Detroit on

I am so sorry for your loss, my the light on heaven shine on you and your family.

Kelly Rian (Ryan) could work for both genders
A couple of other names that come to mind are Dakota, Sam, Bobby.
Good Luck you will choice the right name.

Bless you

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C.M.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Hi K.,

I am sorry about your loss. I have never been through that and cannot imagine what you are going through.
What about your nationality or your husband's nationality to choose names? You could use one of each if you have more than one nationality between the two of you.

C.

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S.N.

answers from Detroit on

I am so sorry for your loss. What if you pick a name from each gender and one is the first name and the other the middle?

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T.M.

answers from Detroit on

I'm very sorry for your loss; it must be heartwrenching. I have a couple of thoughts - perhaps you can find a combination in two of these:
Devon, Ashley, Riley, Casey, Dana, Cassidy, Darcy, Gael (Gail), Keagan, Alec, Andy, Kelly & Shea. I like Kelly Ashley or Dana Kelly. Good luck with your memoriam & be reminded that you'll always have a guardian angel!

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M.F.

answers from Benton Harbor on

To keep it total gender neutral Taylor Lynn.

L.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Angel is gender neutral, and what could be more appropriate? And I like the idea of using your maiden name, or a familial name for the middle name.

My heart goes out to you for your loss. Blessings.

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M.W.

answers from Detroit on

This is tough, traditional names are not usually gender neutral. But more then that its part of your grief process, having some closure. Maybe you should name it something less traditional, something that memorializes what he/she meant to you. Go with your gut feeling, even if it implies a gender.

Best wishes, so sorry for your loss!

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V.H.

answers from Detroit on

Thomas - not gender neutral but means "twin". My sister lost one of her twins and names the unborn one Tomos - the Welsh spelling of Thomas (she lives there). So sorry for your loss.

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C.H.

answers from Detroit on

1st of all, I am so sorry for your loss and completely agree with naming and recognizing this child. I could only think of a few traditional sounding names that could be for a boy or girl, they may or may not help. Francis, Chris, Jamie, Sammy.
Good Luck,
C. H.

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A.N.

answers from Chicago on

This may seem out there but I was a twin and my mom miscarried the other. I always pretended I was a twin and she didn't tell me till I was 18. I was also mostly friends with twins and my first seiously relationship was a quintuplet. I always felt I was missing my twin brother though. Maybe your other twin could feel strongly about it. I stumbled across this post looking for a name for an early miscarriage. Was a helpful thread to read.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I'm sorry for your loss. Some type of memorialization is a wonderful idea. A lot of times, I see markers with Our Little Angel, etc.
That said, I love Riley. I also really like Morgan.

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D.S.

answers from Tulsa on

I lost one and didnt know the sex either but I called it angel because it will always be my little lost angel. how about chance? what did you name the twin? maybe like kevin and devin or robert/rick. or barbara june/beverly may my grandma and her twins name the twin was dead at birth too. just a few ideas. I started to call mine chance because it was lost by chance. and I got pregnant by chance. or name it after a angel in the bible like michael.

L.C.

answers from Kansas City on

maybe Francis Lee? that is very traditional and gender neutral?

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K.R.

answers from Chicago on

Jamie is another gender neutral name.

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K.P.

answers from Detroit on

In this day and age, where people name girl's with boy's names and vice versa, how about just switching your twin baby's name and calling the lost twin George Stephen?

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