Nail Picker !

My son (8 yr. old) also picks at his nails and his fingers. (He has ADHD and some OCD tendencys) We use silly puddy at school (he doesn't play with it, just rolls it around in his hand), which helps a lot, he had picked a hang nail all the way around to the pad of his finger and was drawing blood, which has been gone for months now. A worry rock (smooth rock they can rub or roll around in their hand) would work also. It gives him something to "distract" from the picking.

hi J.,
i see where you are coming from. i am a 44 yr old finger picker. i pick the skin around my nails, sometimes until they bleed. this is what i believe to be from boredom and some stress. it is not a constant everyday thing. i've been doing this as long as i can remember. also my mom did it & my daughter does as well.
to me it is such a tiny thing that it doesn't bother me or interfere with my daily life. your daughter calls it a habit. that's just what it is. most people have little annoying habits, but only if you let it bother you. myself, i say don't sweat the small stuff because then it could lead to bigger problems.
take care and i hope this helps. good luck.

I used to be a biter/picker and now I must say that I am reformed. In my case it was bordem in school and heck what else do ya do? One day I was envious of another girls' long nails and I worked on quitting. I decided to do it gradually instead of cold turkey so to speak. I started with my pinky fingers and let just those grow. One by one I let them grow out and now I have nails that make others envious. So my advise is to ignore it, she will eventually decide to stop. If in a couple of years you don't see her wanting to stop maybe then you could throw in an incentive to try and stop to she if she likes the end result.

Hi J.,

My 7 year old daughter has the same bad habit and I would love for you to share any ideas you get with me. My mom has recently told her that, "God only gives us one body and we have to take care of it for it to last our whole life." She ended up in tears, so I think that may have hit a nerve with her.

Good luck!
C. S.

I don't have any suggestions but I can tell you that you are not alone. My daughter is 5 and has a similar personality and she will pick her nails until they bleed. I just try to make sure that they are kept cut short and seems to help!
Blessings, K.

This sounds to me much like trichotrillomania. A lot of Drs. consider it an OCD - I assure you it isn't. It is an addiction. I know as I suffered with it for 25 years. There are different aspects to it - some people pull hair - some pick at different parts of their body, etc. There is an excellent book by Abby Rohrer, entitled, "Why won't my child stop hair pulling?" Different title that your daughter's "issue", but I promise it is the same thing. It is Abby's book that freed me after all those years... www.hairpullingchild.com is a website for her book related to children.

Like I said, I know it is not "hair", but this sounds like just one more facet of this type of addiction.

Regards and good luck.

Sandi

I am a semi-reformed nail bitter/picker/poker. Its a way to calm yourself in the face of anxiety - something to do with your hands when you are bored - and a habit that is crazy hard to break. I taught myself a few tricks including...

1 - pick off nail polish instead (this required lots of re-dos on the paint, but works most of the time)

2 - carry something else to figit with (a watch, bracelet, necklaces, string on your shirt).

3 - carry a water bottle, every time I want to pick, I take a drink of water.

Just a few things, that all together, make it less. It might go away on its own, it might never go away. I wouldn't worry to much about unless it develops into something more, like hand washing to the point of cracking or bleeding, pulling out hair, etc...

I was also a noil biter and ,like Kristen, when I got envious of long nails I quit cold turkey so don't worry about it as long as she isn't getting infections or somthing that would harm her health she will decide she wants long nails soon enough (I think I was 8ish) if in a couple years it dosen't work itself out then try to find a "cure" 'till thin relax.

My son use to bite his nails when he was younger, we were having other problems with his behavior so the doctor put him on meds. Amazily he stopped biting, when I asked my doctor he said he was having anxiety (like anxiety attacks in adults just not so drastic). My first reasction was what could he possiably be freaky out about, his life was a breeze, he was a kid. He explained that changes effect kids diffenerly than us, as little as rearranging a room in the house, having a visitor over, or even just the pressures at school can cause it. When I looked back in the previous 6 months he did have a lot of changes going on that we as adults take for granted. My son has snice years later been diagnosed with austism, he also does not like crowds, bright lights, or being social t all, pressures of doing this was causing his behaviorial issues too. Talk to you doctor about it, maybe medication temporaily is an option, or just a counsler. Sometimes just a little mommy time and a motivation of getting a manicure at a salon would do the trick. My experience was a rude awaking into the small mind of a child. Good Luck! I always bite my nails when I was a kid too, until I saw how well my mom keep hers up, and I just wanted to be just like mommy, of course that wasnt until I was 16 or so.

I still pick - at my skin, at my hair - but when I think of it I also fold paper cranes. Sometimes I carry a small package of origami paper with me, others I fold whatever paper happens to be around. I have really bad excema on my hands and it's the only thing that keeps me from destroying them.

I pick. I don't usually realize I'm doing it until my husband annoyingly tells me to stop. We have had small arguements over it because it annoys him so much and he doesn't understand that at times I can't help it. I'll stop for a few minutes but I accidentally go back to it. It's usually when I'm mentally engaged in something else but not physically (watching a really good movie, etc.) I have been diagnosed with OCD but I also exhibit some other behaviors. In your daughter's case I think it may just be the engagement thing. We all do things like bounce our leg, tap our fingers, stretch our necks, wiggle our toes, rock slightly, hum, chew gum, etc. to keep physically engaged. It all has to do with the amount of stimuli our body needs. This is where children with autism suffer. The amount of stimuli needed is different from ours so some of the behaviors may be quite extreme (severe rocking, headbanging, picking until blood is streaming, visual and auditory self stimulation, etc. I don't think you have anything to worry about with your daughter and I worry that if you 'keep at her' about it whe will become embarrassed and angry with you (as I do sometimes with my husband).

I am a reformed nail biter and only partly reformed at picking at the cuticles or nail polish. Stress, cold weather, dry skin or being overtired usually are triggers for my cuticles to get bad. I quit biting my nails at about age 11 when I realized how bad they looked--before that I didn't care. It isn't an easy habit to break. It helped me a lot to learn some other things to do with my hands. At the time friendship bracelets (a type of macrame) and lanyards were popular and portable. Knitting or crochet might work too. Your daughter may be a little young for these hobbies but they might help eventually. Also as an adult I carry a nail clipper and emory board with me a lot of the time or have them handy. I also have a nail kit near where I sit to watch TV in the evening.

I tried giving my son a small object to play with in his fingers but that didn't work either. I hope to read some of your replies, too.

I am really late in this conversation, but I want to give you some positive perspective. My child is a nail-picker too, though he hasn't been one for long (it started a couple of months ago). I can tell it's going to be a habit for a while.

The first thing I decided to do was to try to figure out a pattern. Did he do it when he was with people? Watching TV? Bored? I noticed that he does it when he is really concentrated. I am familiar with these "concentration" habits. My brother used to play with a clip and pick his fingers when he studied. I think he still does and now he's a successful professor at UCLA. His mathematical mind seems to need a rhythm, something to give him pacing when he is thinking. My son's mind works in a similar way and I am thinking about maybe looking for some other "concentration" object other than his nails and fingers. But I think I'll just let him have his rhythm.

Although I'm sure every case is different, I think a good place to start will always be to figure out the pattern and then go for help.

the not liking crowds or noisy places sounds like a little autism and they also pick at their nails and skin so you may want to look into it, could be anxiety in certain situations but may also just be a habit. My daughter is 14 and doesn't like long nails and either trims them short or bites them off. She does paint them often but no luck with her letting them grow. Hubby is a nailbiter and my nails just crack when they grow so I don't worry much about my nails either and sure can't afford to do acrylics or have them done so they are what they are. I do tend to pick at them if they get uneven because I am trying to get them smoothed out and don't have a file handy even though I try to keep one in every vehicle as that is where I spend a lot of time waiting for kids to get out of school or their other activities.

J., I picked my nails for 40 years. It is difficult to stop a habit and I really wish that I had stopped when I was a child. My advice would be to start taking care of them. The trigger for me was when there would be a place to pick - they would grow unevenly, etc. I would make sure she had a nail file on hand at all times so that when the urge struck, she could file instead of pick. That has 2 benefits - they will look better and the urge will be removed. Good luck!

Hi,

Missed your original post, but wanted to chime in. The first thing that came to mind when I read your post was trichotillomania. My daughter started with her nails, and went on to her hair. It is a very challenging issue to deal with. To the child, it temporarily feels good. However, later on, they may become embarrased about how they look. I recommend that you do a bit of reading on trichotillomania and see if it gives you any ideas. One thing that may help if she seems to pick a lot when she has down time is to buy some finger protectors from an office supply store. They look like rubber thimbles and come in a box of 10. That way all of her fingers would be covered and she wouldn't be able to pick. They do have little bumps on the outside, so she could still feel a texture if she likes a tactile sensation.

hello J.,

my daughter use to bit her nails when she was younger, but than her older sister painted them and she didn't like the taste so she stopped and hasn't started back up.

What about trying one of those rubber bracelets and tell her to fidget with that instead of her nails.
I do have another take on this too. I used to be a nail biter, then I started getting acrylic nails, I soon realized that it wasn't a habit as much as my nails weren't healthy, they would crack and peel when in the natural state, so to keep from snagging on everything I would have to bite or cut the nail to try to smooth it. Without the overlay they would crack and split till there was nothing there.

Hi. I am 29 years old. My habit when I was younger was sucking my thumb. I did this until age 7. What my mother did to get me to stop was she bribed me. All I wanted was to get my ears pierced. All of my friends had theirs pierced. So, my mom said, "You quit sucking your thumb, you can get your ears pierced." So, if their is something that is really special in your daughters life, something she has been wanting for a really long time, you could try doing this. It worked for me. :)