My Daughter is 2 years old, but not yet near 2.5. A couple weeks ago there was an incident where she had accidently pooped into the tub. I didnt freak out, but just simply moved her out and cleaned the tub. Ever since then she is terrified of taking baths, where as she has always loved bath time. When she is in the tub she is just holding her butt, crying, and saying "I no poop." I went from bathing her every day to every other day to reduce the stress put on her, but as of the other night it has seem to get worse. Now she is holding her pee as hard as she can and crying to desperately get out. The way it scares her it breaks my heart and I don't want to traumatize her of ever taking baths by forcing her to take one. Most of the time its a quick scrub down and she is out in like 2-3 minutes. I have tried to just fill a bucket so she wouldn't have to have running water, but just putting her in an empty tube she instantly is crying to get out. She has very good communication skills and I have tried explaining to her that all of this was okay but bath time comes and its back to square one. I started to potty train her because the second her diaper is wet or dirty she asks to be changed, but its the same fit to use the potty now too. I have backed off on it in order to ease her anxiety, but I am desperate for any advice on how to help ease her back into baths without forcing her into anything.
I would say to try taking her into the shower with you for right now.
See if she will shower WITH you in a DIFFERENT shower if you have a 2nd bathroom.
Very typical. That warm water really relaxes the bowels, doesn't it?
Kitchen sink with a sprayer.
If you don't have a detachable sprayer head in the bathtub, get one. They are easy to install. So transition from the sink sprayer to a standing shower with the new shower nozzle. Don't call it a bath - just say she's going to stand for 10 seconds and she won't poop while standing. Pack up the bath toys and put them away so she doesn't associate the tub with long, fun times that also resulted in a poop. Make up a song to sing and when the song is done, she's done.
If you don't have one of those kiddie shower hats with a rim that let you shampoo but not have the suds and rinse water run down over her face, get one. You can be much quicker with the wet/shampoo, rinse action. Squirt the water up in the crack of her butt so that area gets clean, and she's done.
Potty training is great if she's ready, but even kids who are trained can poop in the tub, so do what's necessary to take away the tub fear.
I'd put her in the kitchen sink, especially if you have a sprayer. You need to keep washing her because letting her go without being washed is not going to help her get past that, and may make her feel like she doesn't need to be clean.
She will get tired of the kitchen sink. Then you'll be more able to put her in the tub and have her stand up while you splash her and wash her. She's eventually sit down.
Toddlers aren't afraid of poop.
They are known to pick up a handful out of the potty and proudly show you what they made.
If she's afraid, she's learn to fear it.
Your clean up scared her.
For now, take a break from bath time and shower with her for a week or two.
It's summer.
Get a small wash tub, have her wear a swim suit and play in the water on the back porch - it can be as good as a bath.
You can also have her nearby to watch you when YOU take a bath.
She should get over her fear eventually.
not much point in long explanations for two year olds. 'all of this is okay' might make sense to you but not to a scared two year old.
i'd take the tub out of the equation altogether. fill the bathroom sink with warm water and give her a standing washcloth bath, but do it every day. and don't go to great efforts to make it easy for her. if the standing washcloth bath is uncomfortable, well, it will make a return to the tub more appealing.
hair gets washed with her standing on a chair, head over the sink. again, the discomfort is just fine.
offer to let her take a shower with you, but don't push.
and every day i'd ask her 'tubbie bath with your toys, or stand by the sink?' no arguing, no trying to make the bath sound more appealing, no romancing or bribing or coercing.
she doesn't get to be smelly, but she doesn't have to get in the tub either.
but i would make sure she saw me from time to time with my bubbles and my book, thoroughly enjoying my own bath time.
actions speak louder than words, especially for two year olds.
khairete
S.
Kids take their cues from us. The more you change things up, the more it reinforces something kind of happened. She's thinking Uh Oh.
So the way I dealt with stuff like that was to act like no big deal, using humor (Uh Oh! A poop!) or whatever. I guess if she was scared, I would have just hugged and reassured but I would try to make it fun again.
What about if you had a bath and had her come in with you? Like get some bubbles going, some new bath toys that are fun ...
Or switch it up - would she take a shower (or with you?).
Kiddie pool outside, with bubbles ... sprinkler ... just let bathing go for now if she's that upset.
Her reaction seems extreme. Is it possible you or someone else said something that scared her? You've tried talking with her and it didn't help. I suggest that continuing to talk about it reinforces her fear. Try acting like her reaction is no big deal. If she doesn't want a bath it's ok. She'll be alright without a bath a couple of weeks. Letting her decide when to have a bath may give her a sense of control. I would definitely stop potty training until she's comfortable enough to cooperate.
I suggest she is trying to control the situation by refusing. Let her have control of taking a bath. Don't talk about poop or pee. Matter of facktly tell her she can decide when she'll have a bath. Wash her bottom when you change her diaper. Use a washcloth to clean anything else that needs cleaning. Be cheerful.
What if you give her a swimming diaper and tell her that she's swimming in the tub? Or put a baby pool in the yard and let her splash in it with her swimming diaper. That way it's swimming, not bathing (but she's still in clean water soaking the dirt off, and you might even get a little soap on a washcloth once she's playing and having fun).
May seem silly....but maybe get the book "Everybody poops." Just a fact a life!
The same happened to my son when he was 2.5! I always give him some time to play in the water before I start washing him and during the play time, he pooped. I didn't make a big deal of it and just told him that I'm taking him out of the water so I can clean the tub. He watched me clean the tub then I put him back in and bathed him. I thought that was that, but he became fearful of going in the tub after the incident. He remained fearful for a month or two -- can't recall exactly how long, but he eventually got over it.
I just kept talking to him about the incident in a matter of fact way and reminded him that I cleaned it. It's something I learned from the Whole Brain Child, written by Dan Siegal, M.D. Basically, the book talks about talking to the child about traumatic events and to let them talk about it. It helps kids (I think adults, too) to process it and eventually get over it. You said she's only 2, but she understands more than you think. I didn’t put him in a sink or a bathtub alternative.
