My Son Wont Sleep Unless I'm Holding Him

hi D. my daughter amanda did that untill she was over a year!!so i know what you are going thru.she still does that for naptime.i had to wait untill she was out cold until i could put her down.finally when she was 18months i started a routine i put her brother down then i would read her stories turn on her music box blow out the light and leave.the first 3 nights she cried for 20 min but i got tough and let her cried and she went to sleep on her own.she is now 22 months and we do the same routine every night.good luck E.

I was once a single mom, I know it's hard. Sometimes I STILL feel like one, because men really don't have what it takes to do our jobs. I cried many a night, but remember that God is looking over your shoulder.

Now, as far as the little bunny is concerned, you may have to wake him up a little earlier. Do you give him a hot bath at night? That used to make my boys sleepy, and I know that still works for me! Do that just before bedtime, and give him a warm bottle, with a little cereal, or potatoes. Then when you put him in the crib, play a little peek-a-boo, read to him, and play music for him, and walk out the room. This might not work the first time, but it worked for me eventually. Let me know what happens, and good luck!

D.,
I don't have a lot of time but just recently we had extreme sleep problems with my twin 2 year olds and we were desperate. The Sleep Lady Shuffle was a miracle for us. the basis is you stay right next to the baby in the crib and verbally and physically sooth them until they go to sleep - you cannot pick them up. Stay in that spot for 3 nights. Move your chair a little further from crib closer to door and stay in that spot 3 nights - now it is just verbal soothing. You keep moving further away every 3rd night for about 2 weeks. It didn't look promising for us until the 4th night. first 3 nights just screaming themselves to sleep. All of our lives are so much better!

Have you tried to play a radio softly in his room?. When my daughter was tiny I had a cassette/cd player that I had lullaby's on, as soon as I went to her room to put her down I would put the music on. I would cuddle her to me for a few minutes, then I would place her in her crib and rub her belly gently. I would then leave the room. She would go off to sleep on her own. I would let her fuss a bit and she would be fast asleep in less than fifteen minutes. I also had day care children that needed to sleep over night, or take an afternoon nap, and this worked wonders for them to the point of their parents asking for a copy of the tape. As you are between jobs at the moment, now would be the best time to train him. Also it would be best to have his bath and calm/quiet time at least an hour before. No energetic games or tickling allowed. Calm yourself also, he can feel it. Good luck and take care.

Hi, I know the feeling of running on no sleep everyday, my 10 mo. son was sleeping trough the night at 2 mo. and started not sleeping trough the night at 7 mo. old. I work full time so sometimes it feels like i am just gonna drop with exhaustion. I don't know if it's the teething, or the mobility( he started walking at 9 mo.) or the food(we just put him on Stage 3baby food), but it seems that some babies just go trough this faze. I tried everything and in spite of my strong believes on the matter I even let him "cry it out" , it didn't work and it just made me even more stressed (as you said about your baby he just screams till I pick him up)and I for one can't bare hering him cry like that. He has his better nights and by this I mean waking up just once in the middle of the night, wanting to be fed and than being up at 6pm without the intention of going back to sleep till much later that morning. So I know it's not helping you much to hear this but you're not the only one, just hang in there and since your son is close to my son's age and if you live in Queens or Brooklyn maybe we'll arrange some play dates for the future. Being alone is really hard but I am sure you're doing a great job as a mom. You can send me a message though this site if you wish.

I am a single mother as well and went through this when my son was younger. this is going to sound weird but.... it worked. I started by putting an old fashion clock (that makes a ticking sound) near his bed (as close as you can get it without him being able to reach it) but soon switched to a teddy bear that had a heartbeat in it. the key to it is, one of the reasons children "need" to sleep with their mother is they are used to the heartbeat (obviously it started in the womb as a form of comfort), the clock makes a sound similar to a heartbeat, but when I found the bear it was better cause you could control the volume. I Started with a louder volume and slowly "wened" him off it. The bear was like $30 and well worth it. Good Luck!!

Hi D.!

My first baby wanted to be held all the time when she was sleeping, too! In fact, she preferred to be *nursing*! She is 9 now and miraculously, she really does sleep on her own, just as people assured me she would, even though we held her and had her sleep with us for years!

You might like the book, "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. Here is a link to a great bookstore; you can just type in "no-cry sleep solution" to see the book:
http://www.flyingpigbooks.com/NASApp/store/Search

Good luck to you!

He will cry like crazy for a couple nights, but just lay him in his crib while he is awake. Get a video monitor so you can see him but he cannot see you. That way you will know he is OK. Just grit your teeth, and do it on a friday night. He will figure out that the old days are over. Check cim in 5 min intervals for the first few days. Dont pick him up, rub his tummy, ETC. leave withina minute and do this for as long as he does it. After 3-5 days use 6-8 minute intervals to check on him. Good Luck,

I don't know if it will work or not, but my brother's girlfriend lays their daughter's on one of those Boopy's. Maybe after you get him to sleep, you could try to ease him onto one of those. It might trick him into thinking that the Boopy is your arm. You could lay it in your bed next to you, so he could still feel your warmth. It's just a thought. We had trouble getting my oldest son- now 2 1/2- asleep after he had gotten a bad cold. We put him in his car seat carrier and rocked him to sleep, then we would carry it to the bedroom and put it in his crib. It was tough breaking him of that habit, but we started putting him in the crib without the car seat, at nap times and after a week- we tried it at night again. You may want to try to put your son in his bed at naptimes first. Have you tried rubbing his back and playing soft music- that's how we got our younger son- 17 months old- to go to sleep on his own. We started when he was about 6 months old. Now we don't even need the music most nights and hardly ever rub his back anymore. He does need his soft fleece blanket to snuggle to. These are thoughts. You may have already tried them. Is there anyone who lives near you, who could watch your son at your house- so you could get a nap in? That might be one way to get some sleep yourself.

hi there! my daughter is 10 months old, and going through that teething thing, too. usually, she is able to sleep in her crib by herself, but she does have her bad nights of wanting to sleep on me or dad. what we end up doing is letting her fall asleep on us, but then when we put her in the crib, we leave her to sleep on her knees, or on top of her blanket, so it feels as if she is still on us. 90% of the time, she stays asleep. dont know if this will work for u, but i figured i would share with u my experience and what works for us! good luck.

well my daughter is 13 months and still wakes up. outher moms have told me to let her cry it out it seems to work the doctor said she can cry for up to am hour it is just very hard exspcially cause we share a room. the best thing i can tell you is to icnore him it is hard but he will learn.

Hang in there, lady! I've been there with the sleep issues! My daughter needed to be rocked to sleep every night, and it would take forever. We were getting desperate with getting her to sleep and her frequent night wakings - she just wanted to be held, rocked, nursed...whatever would get her back to sleep. Finally, we got desperate enough to do something different! We decided not to rock her or nurse her to sleep, but to put her into her bed at bedtime. The first night was really tough getting her down - she cried for about 45 minutes, and hard...standing up in her crib (pitifully crying mama!). That was so hard for me, because I am definitely not a "cry it out" lady. I sat on the floor next to her crib and sang to her, cooed at her, and gave her my hand to bite (ouchie) until she went to sleep. She had to lay down in her crib to have mouth access to my hand. Being there and working with her while she cried was so much better than walking away and listening to her cry on the monitor, which I could never do. Subsequent nights were generally easier - some she went to sleep immediately, some after 15 minutes of gaga googoos, and a couple were tough with some crying. Still, the first night was the toughest one and we didn't break the rule of not taking her out of the crib before she fell asleep once we put her in for bedtime.

When she woke during the night, I always waited 5 minutes before going in. Knowing that there is a specific time limit really helps me deal with the anxiety I feel when she cries. I turn off teh monitor and set an egg timer for 5 minutes. Almost everytime, she was back asleep well before the limit is up. If not, I nurse her (if I believe she's really hungry) and check for poops, and then do the same thing we did when we put her to sleep. She started sleeping through the night on night 3 or 4. Since then, she had to be coaxed back to sleep once or twice in the early time when she woke up too early, like 5:30 am. I read books and had lullabies before bed. I rubbed her head and body and talked to her about bedtime. Gave her a kiss - the whole bit. Then I told her it is time for bed and lay her down in her crib. She had a blanket and a puppy dog she liked and I always made sure she had them for bed. It might be a tough go at first.

Okay, after about a few weeks of this, don't stay until he's asleep. Walk out while he's calm and almost asleep. Then gradually work your way to leaving earlier and earlier. The main thing is to decide your plan and stick to it for at least a week or so. I know it can be hard to resist your crying baby boy, but he will be so much happier once he learns how to put himself to sleep - and his mama will be, too!

Good luck, sweetheart! I admire you for reaching out for help - you are being a great mom to your son. I hope it works for you!

I understand what you are going through I have a 6 year old son. I rocked him to sleep everynight for a year. sometimes he would go to sleep by himself it was a chore to get him to sleep and let him cry a bit I would feel guilty.
Your son is still a baby he doesn't know any better he wants your full attenchen.
My suggestion is keep rocking him hold him whatever you do because they are only young once. Like i said my son is 6 years old now and I miss that so much he's getting older and doesn't want mommy rocking him.
I waited til my son was almost 2 before i let him cry some when i put him to bed
Do you have the same bed time? If not start a one read to him he's not to young play with him an hour before bed time that way he gets worn out and it might be easier for him to fall asleep.
If he's teething he will have a hard time keep giving him orajel pluse a cloth to bite on tell him he is okay give him hugs and kisses.
Sounds like you are doing awsome

D.
I think my son is doing the same all of a sudden at 7 months he is waking up at 330 or 4 and wont go back to sleep. I havent changed his routine at all, but i am starting to think he is teething. I also thought about getting one of those bears that has the heart beat in it. I do most of the stuuf myself at home, he dont help much, so i get up and put him to bed and do all that. Not to mention the 6 day work week. When Its time for Cody to nap he wont fall asleep unless holding him and as soon as i put him down, forget it hes up! I think it has to do with him being held too much when hes with his grandparents. Not sure what it is, but if you find out let me know!