My Son Won't Eat Anything

Updated on February 13, 2008
K.S. asks from Orange City, FL
21 answers

I have a VERY picky little almost-3 year old. I've been told not to worry that his appetite will just kick in but he eats nothing I make him. I'm limited to Mac N Chees, Chicken Nuggets, Soy-yogurt, Milk (and can he drink that) a little cheese. He nibbles on most of it. Won't eat veggies, or drink juice. I try new recipes but he rejects all of them. I've heard that it may be necessary to limit him to whatever I make and he will eventually get hungry enough. Any suggestions? I really want him to start eating! He is also picky about how foods look and feel and will reject even his regular foods if I add extras in. (Mashed tofu, or scrambled egg, or peas in MacNCheese...only wants plain and will look to see if I have added extras in even if taste and color is the same.)

Thanks.

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T.B.

answers from Boca Raton on

I tried the veggie nuggets (spinach&artichoke) with my 17 mo dd and she loved them! She's also had vegetarian "chicken" nuggets. I saw a recipe where you take bananas, slice them up, roll them in graham cracker crumbs and provide fruit dipping sauce (jam)/chocolate syrup for banana nuggets! Maybe the appearance will help him try something new.
My daughter would be happy with hotdogs, eggs, mac&cheese, cheese, and strawberries only if she got to choose. She will sometimes eat other things, and sometimes not. Remember food is never something to fight over. When she starts playing/throwing it, she's finished. Like another parent said, they won't starve. Keep offering new, different foods. This is the only way to find new favorites! There are so many things I love to eat now that I didn't before or that my parents never introduced because they didn't like it.
Good luck.

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M.R.

answers from Lakeland on

Hi K., I know it can be very difficult when this happens. My son and daughter both went through this. I too would suggest limiting what he eats to what you have made for him and eventually he will get hungry. You know you're not giving him anything that's bad for him so I would stand my ground. He will give in and eat it. And don't feel guilty, he has food to eat. He is the one choosing not to eat it.

Hope it helps,
~M.

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L.B.

answers from Miami on

Is his weight normal for his height? If he's not underweight, then just keep trying to offer alternatives and don't emphasize the new foods too much. If he's figured out that you really want him to eat more, then he may be exerting his power over you by being very picky.
Keep his regular foods in the repertoire but put something new on his plate every day. And try to cut back on snacks, so that he's hungrier at mealtime (I know that's easier said than done when you're worried about him getting enough calories)
Have you tried: mashed potatoes (make them really creamy so that the consistency doesn't turn him off), applesauce, mandarin orange cups, popcorn shrimp,well-cooked pasta with butter and a little parmesan cheese (or maybe just the butter) cheese sticks, peanut butter and jelly on crackers, or toast, sliced deli turkey and cheese on crackers or a sandwich cut into triangles, pancakes, waffles, etc.
Again, don't put any emphasis on the new foods; he may surprise you and try one or two of them! Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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P.

answers from Fort Myers on

My son is 28 months and I have often wondered how he survives. He is not a big eater either. He loves eggs, mac and cheese, and hot dogs. My husband and I have gotten him interested in cottage cheese, pickles and olives. I'm lucky because he likes veggies and fruit. I was very concerned when he was younger and brought it up to his pediatrician. He thoughts were as follows...Don't make a big deal out of it, because then he will have issues with food, try and see the big picture, has he been eating enough over the week, and last but not least kids go through phases and growth spurts when they are hungry and then not. Also don't let the tail wag the dog. Stay in control.

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S.B.

answers from Fort Myers on

I have a good eater so overall but if she sometimes dont feel like eating, i will accpe that. Adults dont feel like eating sometimes too. But you say it is more than that, which i sympathize. However i learned a trick, i read it in amagazine the other day and hven't put it into practice yet. Get baby food in the jars, when preparing, dump a can of carrots, squash, green beans, etc into whatever you are making, maybe he will never know? At least that way, he will be getting the nutrition.

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M.M.

answers from Gainesville on

Dear K.,

It is admirable how you are so concerned about your child's health, how you pay such close attention to his diet, and how you have been able to recognize that something is amiss.

Food pickiness is not a good sign. A good appetite is an indication of robust health, and a poor apetite is an indication of poor digestion.

There is a wonderful book called "Gut and Psychology Syndrome" by Natasha Campbell McBride, MD, Ph.D. that discusses digestive health in a very understandable and relevant manner, and I recommend it highly. The author, a medical doctor, neurobiologist, and medical nutritionist, gives wonderful advice on what you can do to help your child achieve a healthy digestive system, which is basic to all other biological functions of the body, including the mind and psychology.

When children have dysbiosis (an unbalanced flora in the gut--Dr. Natasha calls the condition GAPS), they will crave the most unhealthy foods, and reject those that are the foods they need the most. The foods you list are typical of the bad foods that these GAPS children crave.

It is not easy to make the necessary changes in your lifestyle that will nurture your child when s/he has this condition, but it will make a huge difference for the rest of your lives. Many parents get frustrated and allow their children to choose their foods, and end up with severely malnourished children.

The malnourishment that results from dysbiosis often includes severe behavioral and learning disabilities, skin disorders, bowel and digestive disorders, slowed growth, and hormone imbalances.

It's not true that a child will just recover on his own. This condition tends to make itself worse. They need careful nurturing, including a significant diet change and very powerful probiotics.

Please read the book. In the mean time, your child needs digestive support with a probiotic like BioKult. He will also benefit from organic unrefined coconut oil (1/2 tsp 3-4 times per day cooked or mixed into foods or by the spoonful). Feed him juicy meats and fish, full-fat dairy, eggs cooked in butter, and live cultured foods such as kefir, yogurt, and raw cheeses.

It is a very bad idea to give such a child sweets, starchy foods, tofu and other unfermented soy, any processed foods, grains including wheat and corn, and uncooked fruits and vegetables.

Sour foods are a good place to start with these children. Body Ecology has a recipe for young coconut kefir that restores nutritional balance as well as gut flora, and is accepted by very picky young children.

This is not a small thing, it is a very significant observation that you have made. Many parents will overlook these dangerous signals and will have very big problems down the road.

Congratulations on your perceptiveness! I wish you the best of luck.

M. Minno
Mother of 2, grandmother of 2
Gainesville FL

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H.M.

answers from Orlando on

Hey K.,
Let me tell you, when I was reading this it was like reading about my own child. If she doesn't like how it looks or if we call it something she doesn't like, she won't eat it. I just keep trying. I do limit the food she likes and eventually she does eat what I want her to eat because she's hungry. Also you don't want him to have any juice if he's not eating the healthier foods. Those are calories that he does'nt benefit from ,per my doctor. Water and milk is all you should offer. I also like to give her pediasure and pediapals for the vitamins. I know it may not be the best way to go but when my daughter doesn't want to eat I make her go to bed without doing the things she enjoys. THat has also helped. You just have to be strong, it is only a phase and they will grow out of it. Just know that your son is not the only one going through it. That is what helped me see that it is completely normal. I hope this helps.

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L.M.

answers from Melbourne on

My son was the same way, and unless your boy is having weight issues, like being underweight, it really nothing to worry about. Continue to introduce new foods and liquids gradually, and give him his daily vitamins.

It may take years (voice of experience here... I had the pickiest eater. Wouldn't eat anything but peanut butter and jelly and drink milk for what seemed forever!) but it doesn't last forever.

My son is now nearly 6' tall and 200 lbs.

It sounds like you have him on vegan diet... (or you just eat healthy...) What does your pediatrician recommend?

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T.R.

answers from Boca Raton on

I used to worry too - my daughter was very picky at that age & would only eat chicken hot dogs, french fries from the oven & grenn beans right out of the can ( not heated up) she'd drink milk & apple juice & that was it. I did manage to get her to take a daily vitamin by letting her pick out the one she wanted. What I learned though was the more you push the more they resist. And they do eat when they are hungry. As long as they are getting the vitamins & such they need ( you'll know he is by his growth) then he's fine. At this point he knows what he likes & change is scary to some kids that age. Maybe letting him pick out something new at the store to try will increase his choices. Something I've noticed about all of my kids, they eat like crazy & then go through a growth spurt where they don't eat anything. As long as he is growing & his doctor isn't concerned then he'll be fine with his small menu.He has some healthy choices!

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J.H.

answers from Orlando on

Hi K.,

I accidetally responded privately, but someone here posted some great websites for info on Sensory Processing/Sensory Integration. Look into the sites and you may just see that your son has other sensitivties. Good Luck!

J.

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T.C.

answers from Melbourne on

my 2 (i guess she is almost 3 now hehe) is kinda the same way, about veggies at least. So, I tried doing creative things with the veggies. Last night I sliced up some zucchini, breaded it with bread crumbs and a little parmesean cheese and fried them in oil. I let her help bread them and watch me fry them and she was saying, "mmmmm" the whole time. She ate some of them and she usually scoffs at veggies. I don't know, but perhaps if he got to watch or help you make some he might be more inclined to try his materpiece. It has helped me with my daughter and eating her veggies.

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T.F.

answers from Orlando on

I'm sorry that I don't have the answer to how to help you-- just a caution statement-- find a way to get him eating better now because it gets harder as they get older! Both of my kids had bowel movement issues because they didn't eat right, my son was unable to easily recover when the rest of us had a 24 hour stomach bug (he was sick with the same bug for a week-- doctor said it's because he doesn't eat right)... Now my kids are older and will try new foods and try to eat right because they understand the consequences of poor eating habits... But I still have my son drink an Ensure almost every day. You can start with Pedisure since your son is young-- it makes me feel good that he has a bunch of vitamins and minerals in him regardless of what he eats that day, but I still try to get him to eat right and try new foods.

The other thing to think about (I do often!) is our generation seems to have way more problems with this issue than our parents and grandparents ever did. My mom was not a short order cook! This is what's for dinner- eat it or be hungry!! I blame myself for my kids' poor eating habits because we have so many easy to make convenient foods now-- that's why our generation's kids live on chicken nuggets and mac-n-cheese!

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L.H.

answers from Miami on

I tend to 'collect' info...so here's about sensory issues:

found from a great site, http://www.speciallittlesmiles.com:

Sensational Kids by Luck Jane Miller, who runs the KID Network
http://www.sensationalkids.org/aprilnews.html

Some sites for SPD

http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/

http://www.comeunity.com/disability/sensory_integration/

http://www.kid-power.org/sid.html

http://www.sensoryint.com/

http://www.sensorysmarts.com/

http://www.kidfoundation.org/
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
that being said, if you do think there are sensory issues involved, get a referral from your ped or check out Early Intervention- he's not yet 3 & it's free before 3...
http://www.cms-kids.com/ContactUs/EIPdir.pdf

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
if he'll eat chicken nuggets, try the spinach or broccoli ones - in publix- they're refrigerated in the 'healthy'/natural/ food section

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S.M.

answers from Miami on

My daughter is the same way. She'll tell me that its gross or its caca. She checks her food too. I ask the doctor and they said as long as they are eating something its okay. Don't get yourself crazy over it. I use too. It use to drive me nuts. All my daughter likes to eat is rice and beans and chicken nuggets. Shes getting better and starting to eat more food now. It takes time you just have to wait it out.

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J.C.

answers from Daytona Beach on

So I read in the newspaper (parade section) that toddlers develop their bitter taste buds at two. I wondered why my daughter suddenly hated veggies. I can get her to eat pickles, tomatoes, and sometimes spinach. I have fooled around trying new things to eat thinking this would be the one...then I watched my daughter with my husband. Every time he was going to eat, she wanted what was on his plate. So I began giving him larger portions to get her to eat. The other thing is that he doesn't get home until late, so I have to give her snacks because she will not eat with mommy durring dinner times. Talk about annoying. What I am really saying is, watch what you give him, when you give it to him, and try new things. My mom told me that she just gave us what they were eating and if we didn't eat then we'd eat in the morning. (IF ONLY I HAD THE IRON WILL SHE DID....)Good luck! Jen

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C.N.

answers from Miami on

Hi K.,

First suggestion, I use(d) the "one bite rule" for my 2 sons, now ages 7 and 9. They have to try one bite only of a new food: if they hate it, they don't have to eat any more.
The younger one was a very picky eater. As a toddler he would only eat McDonald's sausage biscuits, and became extremely constipated to the point of needing suppositories... That's when I "got tough", took away the McDonald's and kept trying out anything else healthy until we found some foods he liked. I empathisize with you, it's not easy at all. But I would suggest not mixing foods, just one food at a time. Maybe even separate his foods at mealtime in one of those cute little divided-portion toddler dishes.
Also, maybe he craves salt or sugar: try adding a little salt or sugar to his food. There are some very fine sea salt brands that naturally have some extra minerals. My older one is the salt kid, the younger one is the sugar kid. I put pure maple syrup on most anything and he'll eat it. Also cinnamon sugar. Try some cooked apples with butter, sugar, and cinnamon. Honey wheat toast with butter and cinnamon sugar.
Last, have you considered the possibility that he might be bothered by the texture/s of the foods? If so, you might want check out the child psychol. section of the bookstore for two titles: The Sensory Sensitive Child (I forget who the author is, sorry), and also Quirky Kids (by Klass and Costello, MD's). Both books were helpful for me.
And try not to worry too much, especially if his weight is normal.

C. N.

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A.R.

answers from Melbourne on

I went thru this - a very wise pediatrician finally told me "no child has ever starved to death when food was available".

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S.R.

answers from Burlington on

Well, my daughter is younger, only 15 months. But she is going through a picky stage too. My mom said when I was about 2 1/2 I would only eat spaghettios and egg rolls. The doctor told her to keep offering other foods, but that if I didn't eat them I would be alright, that I eventually would get over it. And I did. Also, my pediatrician said to offer everything in really small portions. I understand your frustration. Lately, when I try put dinner in front of my daughter she turns her head away and says NO NO NO! Good luck to you!!!!!

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K.S.

answers from Fort Myers on

Hi K.,
I'm a mother of a three year old girl. She only eats plane food. I cook her a potato and add very little butter and some salt. She loves it. Sometimes I add some corn or some brocoli. Both vegies on one plate (potato and corn or potato and brocoli), side by side not mixed up. Could be that she mainly eats one vegie. She also eats pasta but only plane, sometimes warm and sometimes cold. The same goes with rice. Her pediatrition told me that kids have to develope taste and that is why they like to start single food and not much seasoning. Milk is like a whole meal and not only that he likes it, it filles him up. That might be the reason why he drinks so much of it. My daughter gets her milk after she ate. Most of the time she drinks applejuice mainly after her meal. Did you ever try raw vegies (like carrots, tomatos or cucumber)?
Try the single, plane food and see what happens.
Good luck!
K.

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C.S.

answers from Miami on

Hey K.,

Sounds like you have a sensitive child. What I mean by that is that some kids are very particular about how things are. Sometimes sensitive to change, textures in their clothing, lighting and... of course how their food looks when it's presented and how it feels in their mouths. My advice is two fold - as long as you're getting most of the major food groups into him: good protein, good fats (omegas), decent if not always complex carbs (potatoes, whole grains, flax meal (what if you hid it in a smoothie?) and some fiber here and there (raisins?), I wouldn't worry too much. Juice actually his little nutritional value so the milk is a better option anyway. askdrsears.com has lots of good advice/recipes.

The second part of my advice is to get a book called "Raising The Spirited Child". I'm not labeling your child or anything like that but the author has some really good insight into pretty much all children, but especially those who are a little more discriminating. (that's the kind of language she uses. nothing negative).

Good luck!

C.

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A.P.

answers from Miami on

My son is almost 5 and the same picky eater as you have. I also have a 18 month old who is the complete opposite...for now. I have to say, I have learned to live with the narrow choices rather than try and get him to eat a wider variety. I choose healthy mac and cheese (Annie's or kraft organic, etc) and spaghetti. I have found I can add a tablespoon of brewer's yeast (from Whole Foods) which gives him nutrients not found in a pasta/cheese diet without him knowing. I then always have available new foods to try (example-cucumber with hummus dip, cashews and raisins, lots of fruit) when I snack. A class that helped my son was at Nova Family Center. It was the Mommy and Me cooking class. They made fun foods and then ate them. It branched him out SLIGHTLY. My son is healthy despite his limited diet and growing strong. For me it was a battle I had to reevaluate... would getting broccoli or a burger in him warrant the stress to both of us. I keep trying but without overwhelming pressure. It took him till now to occasionally try something new. I see how much of it is so much like his personality in general. It will work out. Good luck!

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