My Son Was Pushed on Playground and Hit His Head...

As Mel R. says, the first thing you do is have your child evaluated by the pediatrician. Your child sustained a head injury, and it doesn't matter how it occurred or whose fault it was - he gets checked out immediately.

Only after that should you find out if an incident report was filed by the play area supervisor. If not, why not? Again, it doesn't matter (at least at the outset) that the perpetrator was her son. (And yes, you must proceed with the assumption that you only know a part of the story - that from your son, who had a head injury.)

Supervisors don't ask kids if they "want" to go to the nurse. Not if they are 9, not if they are 16. There's a head injury, they get seen.

In our school, there is a special insurance policy to cover expenses incurred by families for injuries and accidents on school property. My son was covered by such a policy for an injury that occurred when he tripped over a raised structure of some sort. (No other kids were involved, but my son ended up on crutches and with a sore back.) So your doctor should fill out a report and send it to the school - not just for your expense of copayment and any tests, but to officially notify the school that something happened on school property that required medical attention. That filing usually gets their attention very quickly.

Before you make accusations that the other mother/supervisor didn't provide a "referral" (I'm not sure what that term means), you have to find out if that's what happened. You don't say how you received that information. Just from your son? His info may not be accurate - even if he's an honest kid, he's only 9. He might not get the info correct. Or he might be shielding you so as not to worry you, or he might be trying to defend his decision to lie low and not seek attention.

So yes, you should contact the school, but absolutely not until you seek medical attention for your son. Then talk to the doctor (have your son in the waiting room) about what you should do next. (Doctors usually know the procedures at local schools.) I wouldn't go in full bore with an attorney, but if you have a family lawyer, it wouldn't hurt to get a quick consultation on what you should do and what you should NOT say. That may be important.

I think the main thing to do when you talk to the school is to ASK first, and say very little: What is the policy for injuries sustained on the playground or elsewhere on school grounds? What is the responsibility of the supervisor? What is the policy if a child declines to go to the nurse? How are children monitored after a head injury? Don't answer - just write stuff down, asking questions only for clarification. You have plenty of time to get ticked off - but you have to get info first.

talk to the school anout what policy is on head injuriesand what discilpine is to follow violence like pushing. Call your pedi just to make sure nothing is going to happen after the head injury. (i had an intercranial hemmhorage that i didn't know about till i went to a dr. and the dr said i most likely bumped my head in the month prior to the migraine starting.) so please find out what your childs dr thinks about a bump on the head.
and let it go. kids are going to be rough.

I don't necessarily think you're being overprotective but you've only heard one side of the story so you can't really pass judgement can you?
Of course there are procedures in place when a child is hurt on the playground. Call the school, tell them what your son said happened and ask for clarification on what was done or should have been done.
I assume the other boy's mother works at the school if she was supervising recess? I know when I was an employee at my kids' school we always had at least TWO aides/teachers supervising every recess, and any time a child was hurt one adult took care of that child while the other continued to supervise.

I believe if you are concerned for your son's health which I am sure you are, I would call the pedi office and let them know what you think happened. They can let you know what to do or watch for if anything.

Next, you have 1 side of the story. Before you get all bent out of shape about calling the school, reaming someone out, threatening lawsuit you need to get the ENTIRE story. There are 2 sides to every story. You don't know what truly happened because you were not there. You are forming your opinion based on hear say from your son's perspective. Most kids will tell a story to their benefit.

IF you call the school, I would leave the personal emotions out of the conversation. Simply discuss protocol when a child hits their head.

I pick up from reading your post that you do not like this boy or his mom based on your description of the boy and your thoughts about his mom in your SWH.

Lastly, at 9 he should learn to stand up for himself and advocate for himself. Martial arts is a wonderful way to help children learn to be assertive when they need to be.

Good luck

Call your pediatrician then the school. This is a great opportunity to role play with your son so he feels better and more prepared to advocate for himself in the future.

Hi KK,

I would find it very helpful to know how old these kids are. My opinion could be different with 5 year olds than it might be with 12 year olds. Having said that, if your "mommy alarm" is going off then you need to heed that. I would take it to the administration and determine what the policies are for physical contact as well as for medical intervention. Concussions are finally being taken seriously these days and, if it had been my son, I would have taken him to urgent care or tried to get into his ped for an evaluation.

As far as the boy who pushed him, I would say that yes, he needs more than just a talking to by his mother. A serious consequence is in order so that it doesn't happen again. I know that kids tend not to know their own strength but it's situations like this that teach them just that, among other things. My DS had a similar dynamic with a class mate in elementary school and they had to be separated for quite some time before they could interact successfully. In fact, the boy had to be separated from several of the other kids. When it finally clicked that he was not going to have any friends if he continued the aggression, he started to shift it into gear socially, but I digress, sorry.

Lastly, you say he's not a very good self advocate. This provides you with an excellent opportunity to teach him those skills with a real time example, instead of an abstract scenario. Role play with him and give him some of these advocating skills that are not hard wired and have to be learned.

I hope this is of use and that some positive can come out of such a negative situation.

:-) S.

I think I would contact the school. Not to complain about the kid. Not to complain about the parent. But to say - hey, my kid hit his head at the playground. He's ok, but I was thinking that not all parents are going to be good at judging a serious head injury versus a minor one, and perhaps in the future, all kids who hit their heads hard enough to get a headache/lump should see the nurse. It's a safety issue for the kids, and a risk issue for the school.

Since this is about the school's safety protocol, no need to even mention the name of the other kid or the parent involved. And leaving that information out of the story will put the focus where it should be - on the school's policy - and keep it from turning into finger-pointing about the incident.

I don't think you're being overly protective. Your son should have been checked for a concussion. I think the other mom did not necessarily want your son to go see the nurse because he would have to tell them he was pushed down and by whom and then her son would have gotten into trouble. I think the issue here is that the mom is being protective of her own child to the detriment of the other children. I think this needs to be brought to the attention of the principal and I would ask that they get another yard supervisor.

First and foremost -- have you called your pediatrician and described the fall and the fact your son had a headache some hours after the event? Our pediatrician might have said to get him to them that same day or even to get to an ER, frankly. I would focus first on your son's condition. It probably is nothing but any real hit to the head should be seen by a doctor. Your mind is on "Why didn't he get sent to the nurse" and "Why didn't the other boy get disciplined" right now, but I'd focus first on getting your son checked, even if the headache is now gone. It can take time for some injuries to show up.

Then once he's cleared as OK, I would ask to meet in person with the school principal or whoever is the right person, to say that the school does need a set protocol for any blows to the head, however slight, including falls. You're absolutely right to say that there should be such a protocol and that the teacher (you say supervisor, not sure what you mean by that title here) should have sent him, and not asked him if he wanted to go. Approach this calmly but firmly so the school sees that you are not just venting or upset but are determined to push a real change to how it handles incidents. You can do it!

I do not understand what you mean when you say the other child's mother "didn't give her son a referral" for this incident. Terms like "supervisor" and "referral" make me wonder if this is a regular school setting or something else. Can you explain? That might help shed light on why the nurse wasn't immediately involved, if this is not a standard school. It would also help to know the kids' ages. If they're older kids it's far likelier that an adult would ask them if they want to see a nurse, but with younger kids that's just not a thing ever to do.

I am surprised there is not a firm protocol for incidents involving head hits because the school (or whatever the setting is) could find itself legally liable if it is negligent in how it handles playground injuries. Having a set policy that it follows consistently is crucial to protecting the school legally--and much more importantly, it's vital to ensuring no kid goes home because he seemed OK but later is found to have a real injury.

I was a playground volunteer. I learned from experienced volunteers. Mostly we used common sense. In that situation, your son would either be sent to see the nurse or be given a frozen sponge to hold on the bump. Some days there wasn't a nurse at the school. We handled each situation at the time it happened. We did not make referrals. If a child had anger issues or purposely hurt another child, his teacher would already be aware of the situation and would address the issue with school staff.

The one chasing would stand/sit on the wall for 5 or 10 minutes. We often had several kids on the wall. Every recess we had a couple of kids on the wall. The wall was discipline for any number of offences.

Kids run and fall everyday. If we don't see the fall, we talk to both kids. Usually the fall was caused by everyday play. No one intentionly cause the fall. The kids go back to play. In your son's situation, I would want to know if the other kid pushed your son with intent to harm him or if the fall was caused by play. Chasing each other is a favored way to play. What about your son's fall makes it more serious than play? Your son chose to run. I teach the children to not rum if they don't want to play. Once a child runs they are agreeing to play that game.

I would definitely hear the adult's description before assuming your son's account is the only correct interpretation. I would also talk with my son about what to do when he doesn't want to be chased. Standing still or walking away are ways to show he doesn't want to play. If the other child doesn't accept no, then your son should move to another part of the playground or join a less active group of kids. If that doesn't help, he should talk with an adult on the playground before he runs and gets hurt.

I believe that kids need to learn skills to take care of themselves. I suggest, as a society, we tend to address fault instead of focusing on how this situation is an opportunity to learn. Most children do not hurt others on purpose. Children are learning how to get along with each other and how to follow the rules.

Before I assumed my child had a head injury, I would want to know more about the fall. How fast was he running when he fell? Did he break his fall with his hands or did he land head first? On what surface did he land? Was the lump still there when he got home? Was he groggy or acting differently?

I've seen and experienced hard falls. I've seen people after auto accidents. Gone to the ER to check on them. One has to hit his head very hard to cause brain damage. The boy who was hit in the head by a fast hardball was checked for brain damage. The passenger hitting the windshield, breaking it, is checked fir brain damage. A few years ag, I catapulted head first over my bike's handle bars. I had a huge egg on my forehead. No brain damage.

Doctors tell us to look for certain signs that may indicate brain damage. The ones I remember are a headache lasting several days, unequal sizes of pupils, grogginess, nausea and vomiting, confusion, staggering walk.

The doctor will order a CAT scan or MRI when the injury is significant as an auto accident in which the person hit their head. Or after a fall from a window, or down several feet off a trail.

I suggest, if you're concerned about brain damage you call an advice nurse or his pediatrician. Most Emergency Rooms have an advice nurse available 24/7.

I suggest that the playground supervisor handled this situation with a fall in the accepted way. Children fall, lots. But if you are concerned about the way this was handled, talk with the school. As others have suggested, ask questions, have a mind open to receive more information before passing judgement or make accusations.

Really, I see nothing in your description to indicate this is anything more than an accident. One commonly seen on the playground.

I would have sent him to the nurse if he had a noticeable knot on his head. If the nurse wasn't available, I'd send him to the office for them to make a decision.

I wonder if this mom is even a volunteer or paid supervisor. Could it be she just happened to be on the playground? Is it possible the supervisor sent the kids to the one boy's mothet because it was a situation that could logically handled by her. The goal is to teach her son to not be so rough. When you are with your child, wouldn't prefer to handle situations involving your child?

It would be nice if we knew how old your child was. If he's kindergarten my answer would be very different then if he was 6th grade.
So I went back through your profile trying to figure out the age. Which I couldn't , but I did see a question where you mentioned your kids were old enough to walk to the store alone. Which make me think that your son is old enough to say if he needed to go to the nurse or not. Why does it matter if this kid is 30lbs heavier or not? He's stronger? A tiny person can push someone over just as easily as a big person. It is curious that there is not a protocol, but if your kid says that he feels fine then he would have said that in the nurses room too, and been sent on his way..
Also, this is after school, right? So..he came home to you within a short amount of time and you could have decided if he went to the doctor or not.
BUT...if this is really angering you then you can ALWAYS call the school and talk with them, just don't know what it will accomplish.

Sorry to hear about this....when I worked at my son's elementary school as a lunch/recess monitor (aka one of these suprvisors) anything that even vaguely resesmbled an even potential head injury of any sorts went to the nurse whether they wanted to or not.as a secondary note, when there was an incident that involved my son(rare but none less) and it was brought to my attention, /i'd defer to one of the other monitors or teachers to have them handle it and send the kids involved to the office if necessary(yes, i'd get a "report" from them afterwards)

With trhat said, I'd also have your pedi check him out to be on the safe side and rule out any concussion or anything else

good luck

We had two incidents where our kids got hurt over the years. One was bad (emergency trip) and one could have been life threatening - but thankfully just resulted in hives which Benedryl helped. But scary at the time.
We had the same thing happen as you describe - except the monitor wasn't the parent of the child who did the things to our kids. Neither child did it to cause harm either - just rough play.
We were just thankful our kids were ok in the end, although one of mine lost a lot of blood (head wound) and had to have 9 stitches.
We went back and explained what would have been much better - as a parent - and how we hoped they would improve the process.
In one case, my son had a reaction (even his eyelids were covered with hives) and no one thought to call us. Or send him to the nurse. My son, grade 6, didn't want to get his buddy in trouble so downplayed it.
In the other, I got a call to come to the school - "don't want to worry you, but there's been an accident". By the time I there, my son had soaked through his clothes with blood (head wounds tend to bleed quite a lot) and my other child was holding a towel to his head. No nurse.
I was shocked. The bleeding one was after school care and there was no nurse on duty. So that was partly explained. But my kid was going into shock a little bit (mild) and was acting very funny. He wasn't even laying down.
So - yes, we explained that while we were relieved that they were ok and everyone meant well - there should be better procedures in place because as you say, kids shouldn't be left to decide if they are "ok".
My son with the head wound ended up getting headaches and blurry vision for days. So just watch for that with your child or have him checked out if you are at all concerned. Good luck :)

it's not okay that your son got pushed and ended up with a headache.
but i don't know that i'd go so far as to parse the mother's reactions either. there are no situations in which we can't go back and second-guess. she did ask. yeah, it would have been better to 'tell' him to go, but it's not like she just brushed it off. she probably DID hope to avoid problems for her own kid. hopefully she did talk to him.
i don't think it would be awful for you to follow up with the school. nor would it hurt for you to work with him on advocating for himself with adults. but most 9 year olds aren't really great at that.
keep in mind that at some point, everybody's kid is 'that' kid, and think about how you'd want to handle it then.
khairete
S.

When my friend's son came home with a goose egg on his head she asked him how he got it and he said pretty much the same thing, big kid, pushed down, hit his head.

He actually tried to tell his teacher. She said "What happens on the playground stays on the playground. Now go sit down and do your work".

The he tried to sit and do his work but he didn't feel right. He finally laid his head down and fell asleep as long as the teacher would let him without telling him to wake up and do his work.

When the mom found out about this she went to the teacher and was completely irate. The teacher told her "It's not my business what happens on the playground. If he was hurt he needed to go to the office". My friend told the teacher, "he tried to tell you he was hurt and you dismissed him and didn't listen". He ended up having a slight concussion and stayed home a couple of days.

The mom went back and told the teacher how lucky she was. If he'd have actually fallen asleep with his head injury he might have gotten worst or something like that. But the teacher NEVER accepted responsibility for her actions.