My Son Says Mean Things

UNLESS there is something going on in his life OR a family history of mental illness it's probably just a phase and should be pretty much ignored because any emotional reaction just feeds into it and makes it worse.

Kid: "I HATE YOU!"
Mom: "I'm sorry you feel that way, I love you, now go do what I told you to do"

I don't think he need a psychiatrist. I think he needs disciplined.

If you have a positive, loving household, are a good mom, and have always firmly disciplined him for disrespect (since first snide comments which usually are attempted around age 3 with most kids) so he knows it is absolutely not tolerated, then he may have a more serious issue.

If he has ever gotten off lightly with mild consequences, being ignored, or received talks about your "feelings" for saying something mean to you, it's normal. Kids tend to lash out at parents who enable it. Especially if they say their "feelings are hurt". It's an attention and power thing that gets worse with no effective deterrent. Disrespect to a parent is a capital offense in our house. If a child doesn't respect his mom, he won't respect others or himself. You have to treat him with respect and love (which I'm sure you do) and crack down big time when he does that after being warned calmly. Maximum discipline.

This book is fantastic for building respectful, kind kids in his age range. My 3 year old son likes to say something mean in a joking way, and when I make a pretend shocked face, he says, "Just joking mom, I love you"., but my 5 year old wont' even joke around and say mean things to me, she is so sensitive to people's feelings and sweet.
"Back to Basics Discipline" by Janet C. Matson

.

He is looking for attention. Catch him being good and ignore the nasty talk.
You might consider counseling... it certainly can't hurt.
When my children told me they hated me, I would tell them that "That means I must be doing a good job. I'm your mom, not your best friend."
LBC

Sit down and talk to him. Ask him why he feels that way? May be tell him that it makes me want to cry that you feel that way about me. I would then tell him how would you feel if I told you that? Would you be upset if I felt this way about you? Sometimes when they are small reverse psychology is good. I would try that first because I took things further.

I would definatly bring it up to at least his Ped, it could be him seeking attention but not always. I would NOT ignore such serious words. That's not normal kid talk

My oldest DD went through this stage too...and depending on the situation is how I would respond to her...if she was mad because she wasnt getting her way I would tell her HATE is a strong word and I know you dont LIKE me right now but please go do .....sometimes she would just say it out of the blue, then I would tell her well I lOVE you and always will..it eventually stops..he is just trying to see if he can get a rise out of you and looking for attention.

As far as the car wrecks, id explain to him that people can get seriously hurt in those and that is not nice to wish on anybody.