My Son Is an Extremely Picking Eater. It Is Driving Me nuts...help Please!

My sister has 2 kids that are great eaters (sardines, oysters, sushi) and one who is picky. He just won't eat anything.

I have one decent eater and one not so great eater. But, they do love fruit, carrots, broccoli, salad. So, I can't complain about that.

My husband would pick pizza and mac-n-cheese over all other foods. He doesn't enforce that they have to eat better, healthier foods. It drives me crazy.

If you try to disguise it, he'll never learn to develop the palatte for these foods. In my opinion, it's an all or nothing. That being said, I made my 3 year-old throw up on Thanksgiving by forcing him to eat sweet potatoes.

Jerry Seinfeld's wife wrote a book on how to incorporate things like broccoli into brownies. The problem is that cooked veggies sometimes lose the nutrients of fresh ones.

Keep trying. Good luck. You are the parent, he's the kid.

Regarding the constipation, Miralax is highly recommended. When I was in chemo, I also too Senna which is a vegetable laxative. You can also give something like Benefiber into applesauce, juice, pasta sauce to add more fiber to his diet (it's just vegetable inulin) - I'd just ask a pediatrician/pharmacist to see what the recommended dose would be.

Having 5 children and 8 grandchildren has provided some experience along the lines of children and eating. When I was a young mother my children's peditrition reassured me that hungry children will eat. I have never fixed a separate meal for any of my children or grandchildren. I tried to use the vegetables that they liked more often than those that they did not but still cookd for the family and not one child. My suggestion is to cook what you have planned for the family and ignor the non eater. When dinner is over clear the table and be done. One of my grandsons had a huge constipation problem because of his eating habits and was in extreme pain and the doctor said that it was from no meat and enough protein. There is no problem with peanut butter. One of my own children carried pnut butter throughout her entire school life and it did no harm. I suggest giving choies and sticking to your guns."You may choose a fruit and/a vegetable for your lunch". Draw a line in the sand and let your son know that he is developing very unheathy habits and you can no longer support his poor choices. Hang in there and try to ride it out. I would give him Ensure to be sure that he is getting vitamins etc. Pay as little attention to his poor eating as possible.The more attention the more he will stick to his guns. Good luck!!

He knows and has learned that if he waits it out longer than you, you will give it to him the way he wants it.
On a side note, my son takes miralax regularly. The doctors prescribe that over others because it is non habit forming. They doctors don't depend on it. So, once the diet is changed, you can stop the miralax and it won't be a problem.

Continue to offer the healthy foods. Cook only one meal and no snack. I'm sure you've tried it but sticking to it for longer than a day. You know he can outlast a day. Changes take anywhere from 2 weeks to 3 months. I'm not saying starve him for two weeks but only allow him to pick food his way for one meal a day, the other two he gets it your way or not at all. Or start with dinner and let lunch be his way and breakfast be as healthy as you can. Just offer him food, encourage one bite but there is not another option. If he doesn't eat whats there, there's no other option. He can be hungery until breakfast. If they are really hungery they will eat. My son proves it all the time. He's 6...he will eat a whole plate of whatever, say he's full and not want seconds and the minute dessert is brought out be starving again. It's a kid thing. So is pushing limits.

Everyone has really good advice, I just wanted to add that you might want to try Fiber Gummies for the constipation. My son was having constipation issues and we started using the gummies. You can find them in the drugstore by the Metamucil and laxatives. They taste just like fruit snacks and three a day equals a serving of veggies. Also he used to drink chocolate milk all of the time and I was pretty sure the dairy was stopping him up so I started giving him chocolate Silk (soy milk) he now poops everyday.

My 6 year old daughter is picky too. She will at least take a bite of something she hasn't tried before, but sticks to PB&J's, "chicken & fries", rolls, mac & cheese, etc.

Keep encouraging "new foods" - particularly things like pears and grapes if he's constipated. Our daughters will NOT eat veggies if they can help it, but will eat spaghetti with meat sauce. My mother said she used to puree up some carrots and sneak that in the sauce sometimes.

There are places we'll go out to eat that she would prefer not to go to, but we'll wait long enough until she's nearly hungry when we leave so that when we get there, she's hungry.

We just found it isn't worth the battle really, if you stick with things that are good for them. We really don't keep candy around the house...my oldest daughter's (and my youngest is getting into it too) favorite snack is cheddar cheese...I have a brick of it that I'll slice up.

They both love yogurt. My oldest went through a phase where she'd only eat "chef boyardee" stuff or spaghettio's. Now she wants her sandwiches without the crust.

You could try some of the juice boxes that have some fruit and veggies in them, or try putting cheese on the broccoli - who doesn't like cheese?! :) When my mom would make green beans, she'd cook them in a pressure cooker with some diced up onions and a piece of bacon. Maybe not the best way, but it might be worth a try.

Make sure that whatever you're wanting him to "snack on" - whether it's fruit/vegies or whatever - that it's something you're snacking on too. One thing that always drove me crazy growing up was that my mother would always say to have some carrots or something, but I never once saw her snacking on those things - it was always pretzels and pepsi. I guess I'm saying "lead by example". I'm sure you already are...that was just something that came to mind.

The alternative is to just keep trying new ways to make chicken...or to just keep feeding him things he likes until he gets sick of them and wants something else.

OH - one other thing we tried. My husband and I like to go to this pizza place in Geist. My daughter used to like it, then started grumbling she didn't want to go until we realized one night they had chicken nuggets. We told her she could get chicken - she was disappointed she couldn't get fries, but chips were okay. AND we get "DIP" - ranch dip for her chicken. Within the last 5 months, she's even begun asking for a piece or two of pizza again (along with her chicken!).

It's frustrating, but something we just decided not to pick too huge a battle over. She does eat yogurt, cheese, apples, bananas, etc.

Yogurt would help keep healthy enzymes in his stomach and should help with the gas too. Mylicon can help with any gas issues too.

When we go out, I'll try to make sure to order "something different" and my 6 year old has now gotten to the point where she'll ask for a bite of what I'm having sometimes too.

Just a few thoughts, for what it's worth...and good luck!

My HUSBAND is the same way, and from what I've seen and what he's told me he's grown a link between "needing" those special foods and getting attention (he was an only child in a large houseful of busy adults - while that's not necessarily a bad thing, its the only neutral way I can phrase it at the moment). He is turning 26 tomorrow and to this day whenever we go to his mom's house for meals the conversation always seems to turn into a "pick on Jeff" game in regards what he will eat, what he has ate, people examining his plate before/during/after, etc.; even though it is negative attention and it hurts his feelings, its (supposedly) better than no attention at all sometimes.

If you think he might be viewing the situation that way ("Mom gives me special time and goes out of her way when I'm picky"), then you might want to rethink dynamics at and away from the dinner table. When he's using food as an attention-getter, deny him the reward of attention, and make sure everyone else does the same, and only don the hat of "family short-order cook" when someone's not feeling well. Instead, try to make a better connection between getting much needed attention and making conversation, being active in certain activities, etc. Set aside some non-food time on a regular basis that is his time with you to work on a hobby or activity.

You can try some nutrition drinks, they can be a little expensive, but it might be an option.

Something you might not like is just letting him go hungry. You have to be strong and not give in, you can't really make him eat as you've seen, but you can give him the option. Sometimes giving them the choice is what they really want and need. His choices should be sit and eat then play or he can choose not to eat but he still has to sit and wait for everyone to be done. He will eventually eat when he's hungry. This has been working for us with our daughter. It's not easy, but you are the parents and you know what's best for him.

As for the constipation, a table spoon of dark karo in milk is what we used when our daughter was younger. She's taken to eat a few prunes every now and then now that she's older. That helps too.

I hope this helps you a bit. Good luck.

A couple of suggestions which worked for my oldest son. Try having him help make dinner for Mom and Dad. Also even if it's the same foods just done up differently try telling him it's his special dinner. I had a sone who would not eat meat unless it was from McDonald's. He loved Mac and cheese so I would make Mac and cheese with burgers for the whole family but would secretly chopp up a burger and mix it in with the mac and cheese. I told him it was his special dinner and no one else was allowed to eat it. It worked after a time or two. I can understand the eating some times and no others. One the breaded chicken they sometimes have a slightly different taste. The spaghetti issue could be the same. One of my boys would eat Chef Boyardee Pasta while the other perferred the other brand Franco American. One liked meatballs and the other only wienees.
Children!
Good luck. Try getting him envolved with the cooking. My youngest grandson is also picky and we have come to the conclusion it's the way the food feels to him. He won't eat ice cream or many candies. Now figure that? He can even tell the difference in chocolates that you put in milks.

This needs to be about EDUCATION! I used to teach preschool- 3's and 4's and I taught nutrition and we cooked EVERY day, except for field trip days. If you're not up on all your nutrition info, might want to do some of it together.

What value is protein, carbohydrates, fiber? Why does your body need them? What foods have them? When making food choices, it should be about what your body NEEDS...for eyesight, to poop, to keep your skin soft, to keep your heart working properly, etc.

There is NO doubt in my mind that this makes all the difference in the world. I have kids who're now in high school that I taught preschool. ALL OF THEM have EXCELLENT eating habits, love watching the food network, make great food choices, etc. I instilled this in them early enough that it made an impact as the years have gone on.

Kids are no different than adults. If you UNDERSTAND something or they WHY behind it, you're more apt to do what you need to do. It may be helpful for BOTH of you and both of you can learn ALOT in the process.

Why are we eating carrots? Why avacado? Have HIM help w/ the grocery shopping, meal planning, etc. Let him pick out ONE NEW THING from the produce section 1-2 x a month. REQUIREMENTS.......TRY IT! EVERYBODY TRIES IT! Take three "courtesy bites". You don't have to like everything, but you never know. It may become your very favorite thing!

Let him look at cereal boxes and pick the one w/ the LEAST amount of sugar. At 5, he knows that 26 is bigger than 10, etc.

NOW IS THE TIME. When kids WANT to learn things and gain confidence in doing so....TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE OPPORTUNITY!
When meal planning, pick a protein and vegetable and/or fruit. Give him two choices and let HIM pick. He has to take at least THREE courtesy- normal sized bites of EVERTHING.

Talk about texture, tastes a little like...strawberries, chicken, mushrooms, etc. Use your nose, develop your sense of smell, as well. Look into herbs and spices.....they are LOADED w/ nutrient value. THEY ARE PLANTS! Smell them, use them tna talk about their value.

You can't change what you don't acknowledge. KNOWLEDGE IS POWER. I have a 7 year old who KNOWS that sugar slows down her bowels and therefore she stays away from soda, candy, etc. She eats raspberries, kiwi, peas, green beans, salad, water, etc because she KNOWS she feels better and her body functions better when she does. She's also learned to get herself back on track if for some reason she gets off it. It's PHENOMINAL!

Hi - you constipation problem will clear up when you get him to eat more fruits and veggies. My DS was the same way, we found having him help us prepare foods really helped - he was happy to eat something he helped making. Also those individual prunes are an awesome snack that my kids love because I told them they were fruit snacks ;-) helps with pooping! Try getting some cookie cutters and making shaped food - I make a meatloaf from ground turkey and add jared babyfood sweatpotatoes and carrots to it - the kids have no idea they are getting the veggies - then you can cut a thick slice and use the cookie cutter to cut out a shape like a train or car - let him decorate it with colored ketchup or dip chicken in applesauce. I serve these along with those smile potatoes - it's now thier favorite meal. But the best advice I can give you is just STOP - I know it's hard but don't make more than one meal. Ask him to help you make one meal whatever he eats, he eats. If he doesn't he will be hungry and will eat tomorrow - I promise you. It took me a long time to say enough and stop making three meals - one for hubby and I, and one for each kid that wanted something special - now I look back and think how crazy I was ;-). It really only took a few nights of whining and complaining and they got the jist Mom is only making one meal, eat it or go to bed hungry - mean I know but really it's gets tiring making three things every night plus I now have more time to hang with my kids rather than being in the kitchen for hours! PS: I have NO problem bribing either - sometimes they just need to taste something to find out if they like it - I will bribe "eat carrots and Mom will give you a hershey kiss" LOL. Good luck to you!

Hi there! I am no expert, but this is what I started doing when my son started to become a picky eater. At dinner time, you pick the meal, you're the mamma! If he doesn't eat what is in front of him, then let him know right away that there will be no after-dinner snacks. Stick to that too, mom! As my pediatrician said, "He will eat when he is hungry."; as long as it isn't for long durations. I only had to do this for one or two meals and my little man started at least trying what was on his plate. He discovered he actually likes some of the things I couldn't get him to try before! Hope this helps!

Were you really writing about MY son??? It's nuts, but my son is 5, and super picky too. It used to be worse, but is starting to get better. I think it's because I've stopped making such a big deal out of it. He still only really wants to eat certain kinds of cereal, poptarts, peanut butter sandwiches, spaghetti with no meatballs, yogurt, and taco salad, but he's starting to try things now. He almost always says "eew, I don't like it", but I thank him for trying it. What I do is if he doesn't eat his dinner, he gets either a yogurt or banana before bed, nothing more, and nothing else. This is mainly to keep his digestive system working good, and both of those things are great for that. Try to find things that he loves that are healthy, and offer them to him more, like my son loves orange juice, so I've bought that kid healthy kind where there are extra vitamins. Also, give vitamins each morning. My son has been taking them for over a year and STILL gags over them, but he gets them down everyday.

I hear your frustration! I've tried all those things you said you tried too, and honestly, those few days were awful!! I tried recycling the food for 3 days, and the thing was, if my son doesn't like something, he'll puke while eating it, and I realized that I don't want to create this awful memory in his mind about certain kinds of foods. One thing I tried recently at dinnertime was finding a "mixer" for his corn. First we tried ketchup, he didn't like it, then ranch, didn't like it, then he said "what about peanut butter?" Sounds gross, but we tried it, he liked it, and he ate the whole serving! So, even if it sounds gross to us, let him try things his way.

Actually, your son eats a whole lot more than mine did from about 3 yrs to 6 yrs. he still doesn't have much variety (he's 13) Every year he eats more things, and tries more things. Maybe try a stool softener for the constipation.

Stop being a short order cook! He's picky because he can be! We found that out w/ my almost 3 year old. She would only eat certain thing and I couldn't figure out why. Turns out, it was because she KNEW I would make her something else if she said she didn't like her dinner. After about 2 weeks, I put an end to that! She gets to prick her breakfast and her lunch, but for dinner, she eats what we eat. If she doesn't eat it, then she just doesn't eat it. We would spend literally hours at the table trying to get her to eat. It was just too stressful on all of us. I just stopped harrassing her and let her do it on her own. Most of the times she'll eat all of her dinner, unless it's something that she genuinely doesn't like (I can't get her to eat pork at all..it think it's a texture thing, same w/ carrots). If I'm making something that I KNOW she doesn't like, I'll let her have some leftovers. She still has to have a "no thank you helping" of the regular dinner though. Our helping is 5 bites. It's slowly working. She actually asked for some broccolli the other night! If he likes juice, I would suggest the Harvest Surprise by Juicy Juice. It has a full serving of fruits and vegetables in each serving. it's not a perfect alternative, but it's better than nothing.
She has constipation issues too. Hers is a mental thing though. She will just hold it forever. We think that at one time she was actually really constipated and it hurt her, so she associated pooping w/ pain. We give her 1/2 a capful of Miralax a day per doctor's orders. If that doesn't work (sometimes she still hold it), she get 1/2 of a chocolate Ex-Lax. That always gets things moving.
Good luck!

Children become picky eaters because their parents let them. We've always had the rule that I cook only one meal, either you eat it or you don't, but if you don't eat, you go hungry until the next meal; no snacks! I have 3 daughters; two of them conform to this really well and eat whatever is in front of them. The middle child goes hungry every so often. Breakfast is the meal that they get to choose. If I'm cooking, then I ask what they'd like, if not they get it themselves. I only buy things that I want them to eat, and when we have snacks afterschool, they are healthy. Its not a fight, it just is. A child will not starve to death with food in front of them. If you want your son to eat other foods, only offer the other foods. Don't cater to his pickiness and it will disappear. When you fix dinner, put it on the table and sit down. If he says he doesn't like it, tell him that this is what we're having and if he doesn't like it, then he doesn't have to eat it, but its a long time until breakfast and there will be nothing else. Don't let it become a fight, don't cajole him or threaten him. If he chooses not to eat, stick to your guns. No snacks until breakfast. Give him a normal breakfast the next morning, not his favorite things. He'll be hungry and he'll either eat or not. He won't starve, eventually he'll eat. It will be tough, but keep your eye on the prize. Think how much easier your life will be when you don't have to do the what will he eat dance at every meal.

Hi, Sandy! I feel your pain! I've been dealing with this "food issue" since my oldest son was two (he is now almost 13)! It's awful! I now have a two year old who is following in his footsteps, which makes my skin crawl. It gets to the point that you realize that your son won't starve. He will eventually eat something. My son STILL takes peanut butter sandwiches to school 99% of the time and he's in 7th grade! He's never been a school lunch buyer either. I would continue to offer him new foods and encourage him to try them. At least you're putting forth the effort to offer it to him. I was told by my pediatrician that if they eat at least one or the other (fruits or veggies), then you shouldn't worry. I would give him a multivitamin to replace the things he's not getting through food. As for the constipation... I would cut back on cheese, bananas, applesauce, things that can be constipating... that is, if he even eats any of those. Juices or mandarin oranges always do the trick for my daughter if she's a little backed up. If he's leaning toward spaghetti sauce, hide some ground up veggies in the meat and sauce. Use carrots, brocolli, green beans, sweet potatoes (super high in vitamins) or something like that ground up in the mix. The sauce is generally strong enough to mask the veggie taste.

I know how hard it is, but be consistent and keep offering it to him. Maybe even let him help you cook. That may perk his interest. But I agree... don't bring the snacks into the house, it's just one more battle. I wish you the best of luck!

I have a 12 yr. old picky eater. I cook one meal - he chooses to eat or not. We have been doing this since he was about 4. Many nights he just sits at the dinner table with us but doesn't eat. I do try to put out at least one thing he likes - usually homemade applesauce so he gets SOMETHING, but I don't cook a different meal and we don't argue with him. It's his choice to eat or not. No snacks later, either. He eats waffles or cereal every day for breakfast and the days he packs, he packs the same thing repeatedly, which is fine with me. If it was up to him, every meal would involve breaded chicken (nuggets, fingers, etc.) or fast food. Obviously, my family can't eat like that every day!

Well, I will say that he has got you trained big time.
Stop worrying about what he eats.
Make healthy meals for your family.
Eat three times per day.
Only healthy snacks between meals like fruit or raw vegs and dip.(For example, cheese and crackers, peanut butter and bananas, grapes, apple and peanut butter, carrot sticks with Ranch dressing for dip, berries, granola bar, homemade oatmeal cookies, raisins, celery stuffed with peanut butter, hard-boiled egg face "glued" with Mayo on whole wheat round slice, apple sauce, yogurt, be creative).
NO discussions about food.
NO asking what they want to eat etc.
Your kitchen is not a restaurant...remember that.
Be sure he sits at the table throughout every (boring,for
him) meal.
Do not allow whining or other inappropriate behavior which will disturb the rest of the family.
Just conversation during meals, that's all.
Mealtime should be a pleasant experience and that should be a family rule.
No havoc, complaining, whining, getting up and down, or any such behavior allowed.
Insist on manners being observed.
If he does not like this, too bad, and he can just sit and be quiet at meals until he gets the message that his demands will no longer be met and that he can join the family.
Do NOT give in...it will come...but he is going to test this big time.
Hope this helps.