My Son Has Just Been Diagnosed with ADHD

Why do you think he has ADHD? Sometimes kids are spirited and have lots of energy. You have to continue to challenge them with things until you find something they are passionate about and chances are they will focus. Definitely get a second opinion before writing him off with a disorder.

J.
Hi my oldest child was diagnoised with something similiar. He has a focusing problem and we started him on med the end of 3rd grade. It helped him very much.
He is a great student and it helps him get on to the next task. Please email me for any questions.

J.,

For books, Dr. Russel Barkely and Dr. Mel Levine are the best resources for you. CHADD, espeically a local chapter will be great. Get a subscription to Additudes Magaizine. Start reading about advocacy at www.wrightslaw.com.

Make sure that you have a full evaluation yourself with a Developmental Pediatrican so that you never know less than the school district does. It would be unusual for most children with ADJD to recieve services from a school distric prior to kindergarten for much more than speech therapy, but not imposible, if he is very severe.

School districts must offer your son services such that he is funcitonal in his environment (right now, that is home based) and if they are fearful that he will not be funcitonal in school once he gets there, they may offer a program. This would be special education. As I said, he can reiceive speech therapy without a full program, but that is about it. To qualify for a special education program, he must have a qualifing diagnosis (ADHD) and have a need for special education. The "need" part is where most diputes will occur, and as I said, ADHD will be a tough sell. If you have had a doctor tell you that he quailfies, know that they don't really have any say in the matter, if he qualifies, he will do it based on the need that the school district identifies.

So, the biggest and most important piece of advice I have for you is this: hold a comprehensive private evaluation that includes everything the public evaluation includes and more, and have a treatment plan spelled out for you by a Developmental Pediatrican, then take everything you can get from the school district, and supplement his program with private services. Get as much as you can, as early as you can. Time is free, and you cannot ever get it back. He can make more progress in the next few years than he will ever make agian in his life.

You are probably wondering what a treatment plan should look like. He should have very good acessable medical care from a board certified child psychiatrist. He should have play therapy (appropriate for his age) and eventually, cognative behavioral therapy. He should have speech therapy and occupational therapy, and he should have a social skills class as soon as you can find a provider that offers these for his age group. He should have extensive educational and behavioral interventions at home and school, once he gets there.

If you feel overwhelmed with the school, go to the wrightslaw web site and look for the NJ yellow pages, they list all kinds of professionals who can help you, and you can find an educational advocate in your area. That is what I do. They will guide you and keep you from being taken advantage of, and assist you in getting the best services for your son that you can from the public school.

Read, read, read. Learn all you can. Be aware that his diagnosis may change since he was diagnosed so young, it is common for ADHD to be comorbid with other issues, so do not feel blindsided if this happens. You should be re-evaluating frequently, and looking for changes that do not make sense with his current diagnosis. Bring these to the attenention of the psychiatrist imeadeately if it happens.

Stay on the standard path. I deal with so many parents with kids who have ADHD and other issues, and I have seen countless people who tried nutritional, natural, cleansing, detoxification or supplemental stuff and lost so much time to these "cures." They sound great, but they just don't work, and you will be back to standard care, which is not flashy or fast, and requires hard work and constant vigilance as your child will change as soon as you think you have figured it out, but don't give up on standard care. It does work, and though it is not a flashy cure, you will see results. Slow and steady wins this race, and the only thing you have that is free is time, so don't waste a second on anything that will take up your precious resources and time.

You will likely read a few responses that say he is not old enough to have this diagnosis, and that is a popular myth. You will soon become familiar with many popular myths, and these will drive you crazy. Meds do not make your child a zombie, or change their personalities. Medication, when appropriate, will be monitored by a skilled child psychiatrist (my recomendation to you) and will be adjusted, like any other, if your child has side effects. At his age, it is quite possible that medication will not be offered just yet. Know that medication is a valuable tool that will make all the other therapies you will be buying that much more effective, and you will soon appreciate getting as much for your money as you can. It is not inexpensive.

Simply put, ADHD is a medical issue. Brain cells do not touch. There is a tiny space between them called a synapes. Our bodies make chemicals called nuerotransmitters to carry our thoughts, as electrical impulses, over that tiny space to the next brain cell. If our bodies do not make enough of the neurotransmitter, or the neurotransmitter receptors are defective, that person has difflculty with thought processes, and has ADHD. This can effect every part of thier lives. The hyperactivity you may see from your son is an attempt to get these processes moving, or keep them going. This is why medication is effective. There are many, many choices these days, and one will work for your son, even if your presciber thinks he is too young yet. There is no shame in trying medication, nobody 'wants" to have a child who needs any kind of medical intervention, but this is a true physical problem that will respond well to apprpriate treatment. It is not a cop out. It is not the easy way out, there will be nothing easy about the hard work ahead his doctors, his therapists, his teachers, you and him.

If I can help point you in the right direction with the school, please let me know. Even if he does not qualify now, he certainly may need services in the future.

M.

Just to prepare your for what is ahead, especially after posting this particular question on this site: MANY people will question your diagnosis because your son is young. It looks like some already have. When my four, now almost five year old, was diagnosed, like you, I had a lot of questions and needed a lot of answers. There are a LOT of moms on this site who actually have kids with ADHD (and teachers) and they can be great sources of information. Then you've got everyone else, who doesn't have any actual experience with ADHD but seems to think they know all about it. They will quickly tell you your son is too young for a diagnosis, all kids are hyper and stubborn, it is probably food allergies or preservatives, sensory issues, etc. etc. Trust me. I have been there and done that. You can look at my profile and read all of the questions and answers that I've posted about my young daughter and ADHD. You will quickly see how heated a topic it is. My immediate thoughts were: if you don't have a kid with ADHD, why are you just giving me your uneducated opinion? It is truly a case of, if you don't have a kid with ADHD or have a close relationship with a child or family member with ADHD, you probably won't understand. I saw on the news today that the results of a study are about to be released that shows the genetic link to ADHD. The hope it that once the study is made public, some of the myths about ADHD and its causes will be dispelled.

Books: The Explosive Child
The Out of Sync Child (this is about sensory issues that can be related to ADHD)

And just google google google. Feel free to email me privately any questions you may have because we were in the same boat last year!
Good luck!
P.S. "ADHD kids are often gifted, but not all gifted kids are ADHD." That was one quote that made me smile when I was feeling overwhelmed.

Loved your answer McK5! I have a five year old son who was diagnosed with ADHD a year ago. Everyone from my own mother to his preschool teacher questioned the diagnosis. My husband and I decided to put him on medication and it helped my son so much. He could actually engage in purposeful play, rather than run around from toy to toy. It also helped his speech. I could actually hold a conversation with him. I'm not saying that medication is the only way, but that you know what is best for your child.

It's nominally for adults with adhd... but it's been the best resource I've found for actually understanding adhd in KIDS. A big part is because the authors are adhd themselves, so the perspective is often one of looking backwards and seeing how the patterns developed. As a parent, this book is phenom, because we SO much want the : What will happen if I do THIS with my baby/child/kids??? How will it turn out???

http://www.amazon.com/You-Mean-Lazy-Stupid-Crazy/dp/07432...

And this website is also amazing
www.additudemag.com

ALSO (I know... more) since most adhd kids are gifted... this website may come in VERY useful over time

http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/

R., adhd-c mum to an adhd-c kiddo

Get a second opinion. The American Academy of Pediatrics says children should not be diagnosed until age 6 and beyond. The most common reason children at this age,are misdiagnosed, is the Dr. being to hasty and incorrect and sensory or learning disorders causing behavior problems. This is very young and a pediatric psychologist and behavior/learning specialist should be sought out. The medication commonly used for ADHD (if you decided to go that route) have a warning, that it is not to be used for children under 6. Studies done by Notre Dame and Harvard came out recently, showing 1-5 children are misdiagnosed, with that number being much higher, in younger children. A 3 year old should not be diagnosed with ADHD.
PS. My niece was wrongly diagnosed with ADHD when she was almost 4. It was very harmful, for her progress, because she was treated for the wrong thing. In my opinion, a second opinion ALWAYS needs to be sought, when diagnosing any age (but, especially young) with a disorder, that is life long. You might go to another specialist and get told the same thing. No harm done. There is always a risk of mis-diagnosis for ANYONE of ANY age and it's actually quite common. I really think, second opinions are just common sense and a way of getting as much information as possible. Not to mention, protecting your child.

I cannot possibly say it better than McK5 and Martha - those were WONDERFUL posts, please read every word. Twice.. My son, now almost 9, was diagnosed with ADHD comorbid with anxiety issues, tic disorder, sensory processing disorder, and pragmatic language issues. when he was in kindergarten. To put it mildly, his behavior put us through hell, both at home and at school. His troubles began in pre-k but did not escalate until kindergarten. I'll never forget the day I picked him up from school and the teacher had to tell me he was in in-school suspension. He was suspended many times in the first and second grade because of his horrendous behavior, and was very lucky not to get kicked out of his wonderful school.

After a whole year of testing, we finally started him on 2 meds and his behavior has changed so drastically that everyone who has ever known him calls it a miracle. His grades went from C's and D's to A's and B's. He has not been in trouble AT ALL since the meds. He has an amazing teacher which is a huge part of it, but those meds have turned my unhappy, anxious, stressed, distracted and rage-filled child to a happy, more easy-going, calm, and work-driven child who finishes all his schoolwork every day. And more than that, he is able to socialize and have friends who want to play with him! His tics are totally gone and he loves going to school. I know this all sounds very idealistic but in our case it is true. Everything will be ok in the end, you have to believe that. Your son is only a small child - give him time to mature and help him along the way, and he will turn out fine!

PLEASE do yourself a favor now. Listen to your doctors (make sure they are good ones whom you trust, and always get second or even third opinions) and learn and read all you can. Do not spend hours surfing the web looking for natural cures or reading anti-medication forums. These forums will make you doubt yourself as a mother and feel guilty for even considering meds. You will hear from all sides how medication will harm your son... these people generally know nothing of which they speak. Yes, certain meds have potential for great harm, but these are more than likely not the ones you will be offered. Risperdal is not usually given to 5 year olds with ADHD! And meds may not be the right thing for your son, but more often than not they will be where you end up eventually. Counseling or play therapy helped us too, and it also helped us when dealing with the school. When they were considering him for suspension, they saw that we were truly doing everything we could to help him by taking him to his weekly sessions, and decided to hold off on a decision until we could give it a little more time. It is very important to keep great records of everything you are doing so you can show the school that you are doing your part as a parent. You are your son's greatest advocate - never forget that, especially in meetings with the school reagarding IEP's (Individualized Education Plan).

A great blog that I have learned so much from is http://www.corepsychblog.com/. Dr. Parker answers your questions on meds in his forum too.

For the record, my son takes Intuniv, which is a relatively new formulation of an old drug called guanfacine. There are no scary side effects from this drug and it is quite innocuous. It is AMAZING how much of a difference that med has made in all our lives. My son also takes Strattera which really helps him to focus. It is a slightly (but only slightly) more controversial drug, but he has had no problems with it. We have learned that for us it is the combo of those 2 drugs that does the trick.

Meds are NOT the enemy! In our case it was our salvation. Other things can certainly contribute to the problem - too much sugar, food allergies, etc., so you need to watch for those things as well.

Best of luck to you and good luck with the pregancy! I can understand as I had my daughter soon after my son's problems began.

McK5, Martha and Coloratura offer some really, really great insights. Our son also was affected by ADHD at a very early age. I was also pregnant when things were getting to be at their worst, so I know the position you're in. It's a lot to manage.

Our son was kicked out of preschool at age three for his ADHD symptoms. We couldn't get a diagnosis at that age (they waited until he was five, but he clearly had ADHD), but Kaiser did help to treat him because things were so severe. We tried behavioral strategies through a child psychologist and then a behavioral therapist, but nothing worked until our son went on medication. The first couple didn't work -- Tenex and Clonidine -- blood pressure meds, that while mild and low risk -- didn't affect his symptoms at all. When he was four, we tried Ritalin. I will always remember that Fourth of July because it was the day we got to meet our real son. Fireworks literally went off that day because he was the same boy -- so full of spunk, energy, personality -- but his behavior was in the normal range. No more aggression or running across the furniture sunrise to sunset, full of focus, so much happier. Absolutely life-changing.

At seven, our son is on a long-acting form of Ritalin called Concerta. He's excelling in school, has lots of friends and is doing well at home.

The others mentioned above have offered super advice. I also recommend ADDitude magazine (www.additudemag.com) and joining CHADD. Be so, so careful of the scams out there. This is a genetic brain disorder and not something vitamins, diet, house cleaning products and "alternative" approaches will fix. If you have any reservations about medications (and I think it's fair to say we all do at the beginning until we see how great they help our kids), talk to the specialists helping your son. Stay away from the scare tactics found online and through misinformed general public.

Best of luck to you as you start this journey!

First of all take a deep breath and tell yourself everything is going to be okay! Hectic maybe, but okay. I have a now 6 year old who has both Sensory Processing Disorder (which insurances are not recognizing yet...grrr) and ADHD. He was diagnosed at 3 as well. It was hard and heart breaking for me because I was worried about the hard road we had in front of us. The #1 thing you need to remember is that you are his biggest advocate!!! Try to be patient with him. He can't help it. Be consistent! Find a Pediatric psychologist in your area that specializes in ADHD.

We liked the book 'Boys Adrift' by Leonard Sax
It wasn't ADHD specific but talked a lot about what is happening with our young boys in our society and what we can do to help them. There is another one that is related to ADHD and Sensory Processing Disorder. It described my son to a tee. Read and educate so you know how to get him what he needs.

Also, a lot of states have special funding for early education schools that help them to learn in an environment conducive to their needs. Find out if there is one near you and enroll him asap. It is usually free to you if qualified under ADHD.

Good luck!

ADHD should not be diagnosied prior to age 6. I am a children's therapist and every child, especially boys, fit the diagnostic qualifications for ADHD. To give him that diagnosis at 3 years old is clinical negligance. It is great that you are trying to edicate yourself first! Of course you also know your son better that anyone else. Children who are also depressed or going through some adjustment (like expecting a new sibling) may also have increased difficulty with mood, behavior, etc. My suggestion is to make sure the clinicians are qualified to work with a child below the age of five. I would suggest looking for a child centered play therapist in your area. You can reasearch this option on a4pt.org or NIRE.org. You might also want to look into a specific type of therapy called falial therapy which will also help you to suppport our childrens" needs. This techiniqueis so useful with any child! I have two boys who are 13 months apart and it was very difficult a the begining. Even as a therapist I was always wondering about my oldest fitting the diagnosis of ADHD. He is very sensitive and just increasing the structure and decreasing some of the stimulus in the home, noise level, limited tv time etc. has made a big difference. He is a very gifted boy and while still has difficulty with becoming easily overstimulated does not consistantly fit the ADHD criterion. Also you might want to look for support groups in your area for advocacy and education. PARENTHOOD is the hardest job in the world! Good luck!

You must feel so overwhelmed by a hyperactive youngster while being pregnant! As an educator who has worked with children for years with all sorts of educational struggles, including ADHD, I have some information to share.

Most school and behavior struggles are a result of developmental delays, some more severe than others. From prenatally to age 3, children go through many stages (as you know). these stages are physical, like rolling over, but also set up for cognitive development. For example, when a baby is about 3 months old, if you put him on his tummy, he will hold his head up even though his head weighs about as much as his body. Does he have the muscles already to do this? No. He is showing a "primitive reflex" called the Tonic Labyrinthine Reflex (TLR)" which forces him to do this. By spending time day after day holding his head up, he then develops the muscles in his neck, shoulders, and back needed to roll over, sit up, stand, and walk. If he does not spend enough time on his tummy, he will have poor posture at a later date, even if he did get enough muscles to eventually walk.

Along with the physical development of the TLR comes brain development. Pathways to the higher cognitive brain are opened which are associated with sequencing abilities and the ability to tell time. These occur in the frontal lobe which is the area for the executive manager - for planning and executing, required for attention.

The next reflex, the "Spinal Galant" is responsible for concentration and memory, and gets developed while the baby spends hours a day on his back.

Today parents are told to keep their baby safe in a carrier or walker rather than spending time on the floor where he could get in trouble. Unfortunately, he might not develop well enough to overcome these issues explained here. Please do not think I am critical of you; this also could come from genetics or drugs given at childbirth. No one can say what the exact cause of your son's ADHD can be.

However, you can do something about this now.
1. Become knowledgeable about the primitive reflexes; google it, or visit my website at www.pyramidofpotential.com
2. Find an OT or PT near you who knows how to integrate the 2 reflexes I wrote about above.
3. If you cannot find one, search for a DVD that teaches the exercises to integrate the primitive reflexes. The exercises should take only a couple minutes a day, but because he is hyper, you will have to use your best mommy tricks to get him to do what you want (lol)!
4. If there is no OT or PT, and you can't get him to do the exercises, hire a wonderful friend or OT to use the DVD with him.
5. It takes about a month per primitive reflexes to see results. Meanwhile, get some rest for you and the new baby!

I hope this has been helpful. I teach this info to teachers, parents, and OTs nationally, and love to spread the word, Feel free to ask me questions privately.

Sincerely,

K. Johnson, MS Ed

Hi J.,

Our (3 1/2) son's day care teacher told us also our son was adhd and we went the sqme route with the child study team (Fort Lee) they sent him to St Josephs Hospital and we saw Dr. Mallick(she spent over 2hrs with us) - she told us he had the signs but he was to young to truly give a diagnose - but the child study team told us they would not give him any services even though they all agreed he needed speach as well. This summer (5 yrs old) on our own we took him to see Dr. Mallick and he has formerly been diagnosed with ADHD - and we started behavorial modification - it is tough but we are starting to see a difference with him in school and at home. I have informed his school & teachers - they have been great working with him and he is now being evaulated for speach again. - The best thing we found for our son is that he needs structure at home and at school - Dr. Mallick does not put children on meds unless all avenues have been exhausted and that was important to us. He still have melt downs every now and then and we count to 10 take a deep breath - and stick to the behavior modification plan and it works 95% of the time. You are your sons best advocate. Good luck

I'm also 6 months pregnant and have a 6 y.o. child who has been diagnosed with PDD but now it's clear that ADHD is a major component of his behavior issues. Please don't stress so much about it! It's important that your son is being evaluated and will start receiving services. He is still very young and you cannot imagine now how much progress he can make! My son also started special preschool program at 3. He could barely speak at that point. Now his speech therapist says that his expressive language is at a 8-9 y.o. child. He still has his challenges and we continue to work on them but he is bright, does well academically, loves his school, and brings us a lot of joy. Again, the most important thing is that your child's difficulties are identified as early as possible and addressed when he is still young. And he'll make it!
I wish you the best! Good luck with your pregnancy!

The 1-2-3 Magic Parenting Series has a book on ADHD, and your pediatrician or school office should be able to give you the info on local groups. Our local hospital has a group for parents called CHAD, it meets once a month for discussion and also has guest speakers.

Boys get diagnosed with ADHD so often and sometimes it is just a boy being a boy. There is a book called "The Way Of Boys" that sounds wonderful. The author is having a lecture at my local library in CT this month. If you are at all unsure of his diagnosis, you may want to check out the book. Either way, I wish you all the best and good luck with the new baby.

What therapy can a school do for ADHD?