Hey there mamas.
So, my son just turned 5. Since he was little, about 2.5, whenever we would go somewhere new, or do something that was new, he would make himself sick. He starts gagging, and out of the blue will make himself throw up due to anticipatory anxiety. He kind of grew out of it a bit, and it wasnt a problem for a while, but lately he has started doing it again.
He didnt start daycare until he was 4. He is an only child and since I dont have many friends with children near his age, I thought that it would be a good idea to send him to daycare so he could get a good solid year of socialization before school. In the begining he had some seperation anxiety when I would drop him off and he would cry everytime, and I would kiss him and tell him he was going to have a great day and then I would go, after about 5 min he would shake his head, wipe his tears and be fine.
There were also other times before he learned better ways to cope, that he would cry so hard he would throw up, this literally would take about 15 sec, lol. He just would get super upset, and when he is upset he gags.
So, he stopped the crying, and all the anxiety at daycare seemes to be gone and he was fine for a few months and then he started gagging when we are getting ready to go to daycare. As soon as the coat goes on he will start "chocking" ( in his words). I cant even feed him before we leave because he will throw everything up and make a mess EVERYTIME before we leave, or in the car on the way which is even worse.) He eats as soon as he gets there at 8am, without issue.)
So, lately he will get ready in the morning and start gagging with the coat, try to throw up a couple times, we will get in the car drive the 5 min. to daycare and head in. He is happy to go there and see his friends, he never gives me any trouble about going , but always with the gagging. When we get in the door we try to distract him with conversation and such but after about a min, he starts in again. I dont know what to do. I feel bad that he has to deal with this every daycare morning, and it is also very taxing on me, he runs to the bathroom and I have to try to persuade him that he's okay and he doesnt need to choke.
I think that when I pay attention to it it lasts longer, usually this goes on for about 20 min. in the morning and then he is distracted enough he stops, or he just doesnt feel the need to anymore.
My daycare provider thinks that maybe we should ignore it and he will stop, but that is really hard to do. Especially when he might vomit on someone/something. Plus, it kind of freaks the other kids out.
So, I dont know what to do here. Anyone ever deal with something like this with there child? Suggestions sooo appreitatied.
Thanks
Have you discussed this with your pediatrician? There might be medication that may help, or maybe your son would benefit from some form of behavioral therapy, so he doesn't get himself all worked up into such a frenzy.
This is going to be off the cuff advice.
Males, when excited (no matter what the excitement is...) salivate.
The extra saliva caused by his angst, may be the precursor to him gagging and ultimately vomiting.
Try giving him some dry snacks (dont let him know WHY you are doing it) on or about the time you are getting ready to take him to daycare. Some saltines, or goldfish crackers, something that will keep his mouth dry.
See if it works, and let me know ;)
ETA - Here's the link:
http://www.mamapedia.com/questions/6298927234728263681
Original:
Stop putting the coat on him - it's a Pavlovian response to the trigger that it's time to go. Quickly hand him a bag to "chock" into and put him in the car anyway.
Your daycare provider is right - ignore it. He needs to just grow out of this. The less attention you pay, the better.
Btw, there was another thread dealing with this same issue a while back. If I can find the link, I'll send it.
Good luck,
Dawn
I suggest paying as little attention to it as possible. Be sure that he knows it's no big deal. Be matter of fact in cleaning it up. Perhaps have him help clean it up, tho, that might make him gag more. If so, send him to another room while you clean it up.
If you fuss over him or act like it's a big deal, or criticize him he's more apt to continue doing it because it makes him more nervous. He may also be doing it to get sympathy/attention because he does feel anxious.
When he's feeling OK talk with him about how he feels when this happens and ask him how you can help him to feel better so that he doesn't have to do it.
You know he gags when you put on his coat. I might rush him to the bathroom very fast so that he does it in the toilet.
This might be enough of a hard time that he will stop.
My grandson was vomiting at school and before school and thus was excluded in school. Once his mom saw the pattern she arranged for the school to allow him to attend. This stopped the vomiting. Now, once in awhile he starts to gag and I just calmly say, don't do that. You're OK. So far it stops him. I do spend some time with him in a quiet, gentle way once he stops. It's like rewarding him for controlling his gag reflex.
This could be a medical problem. This amount of anxiety is a medical problem. I would talk with the pediatrician about it. He may need some medication that calms his anxiety.
Or it may help for you to spend some quiet time with him before putting on his coat so that he doesn't feel rushed. It seemed to me that I'm frequently rushing the kids to get out of the house and realized that even I was tense. Once I started earlier and slowed down they were much easier to get out of the house.
hhhmmmm...don't really have an answer for you but will share my story. Both of my kids were like this, but so is their dad (still to this day). So not sure if its hereditary or genetics or what. But their dad (now my ex) would gag easily if he got up in the morning and had to move too fast. lol. Or if he was going to the doc, or if he was LYING to me, I could instantly tell (still can)! The kids were the same when they were little, but they were sensitive to smells. My dtr went into the bathroom when she was in like 1st grade and threw up. They called me to come get her saying it was the flu, when I talked to her, she said it was because the bathroom smelled! They wouldn't believe me and I had to get the doc to write a note that she and my son had this "condition" in order for her to go back to school. They are 12 and 9 now and I assume they have grown out of it since we haven't had a problem in YEARS. I hope you find something that helps. Good luck.
I don't think the problem is that he throws up, the problem is his anxiety. He needs to cope better, and may have an anxiety disorder. Now, throwing up is probably more of a problem now because it is such a habit, that he probably wants/"needs" to taste/smell/or do the action when he gets the feeling of excitement or anxiousness.
May be TMI: I always go to the bathroom before I take a shower. As SOON as I turn on the water, I get the feeling that I need to pee right away because I am SO USED to peeing beforehand that my mind just switched the trigger on and voila! Habits are very powerful. So, a habit needs to be broken (the best way to do it is to give him another thing to do instead to get his mind off it), and his anxiety needs to be addressed.
You could give him a toy that is fun and requires a lot of concentration/distraction, or maybe a lollipop (which may not be good, or be a very good idea- it could go either way) to try and break the habit... Then the coping skills. You may need a child therapist to help you with that one. His nerves need to chill out, for sure.
Good Luck
My daughter did this when she was about 3, her pediatrician could find no medical reason for it, so the answer was to ignore her and walk away when she was trying to make herself gag and throw up, she was doing it on purpose and the lack of attention made her stop. Mornings were spent dodging her and busying myself, her breakfast was on the table and her clothing put out the night before, so turning away was easier. I rushed her out the door before she could get started, and the lack of attention seemed to break her desire to do it. When we got to daycare I handed her off to the director or her teacher, didn't go in her class, gave her a hug and a kiss outside the door and turned heel and left ASAP so she didn't have any time to start there. It took awhile for her to stop but she did, the trick was no eye contact or interaction when she started, getting away from her as quickly as possible, totally ignoring the gagging and reminding her she wouldn't stay home if she threw up.
My little guy turns 3 next week and has already learned that negative behavior gets him attention, so when he screams just for the fun of it we act as if we don't hear him and he's doing it much less, hasn't done it today at all, only once yesterday : )
