My Six Y/o Always Asks for New Toys

he's SIX! you're the mom!
develop a kind loving inexorable NO and learn how to use it. today.
khairete
S.

When he isn't home...take and put some of the toys away..where he won't find them. Take perhaps one toy out a week and "re-introduce" him to that one...
He is at an age now where....it's easier to say no now...than it will be in a few years.....lol

You are doing him absolutely no favors by giving in to him every time he cries. He must start learning that he doesn't get everything he wants, and that it is often better to put off something in the short term for something better in the long run. Adults who haven't learned this (it's called "delayed gratification") end up deeply in debt and with major credit problems, relationships struggles, and often criminal issues as well! It's time for some tough love; tell him no more new toys, and maybe even clean out and get rid of old stuff (I like the idea of donating the ones in good condition). Stay firm. The crying will get worse at first, because he's learned that it works. But if you give in EVEN ONCE you'll be starting all over.

You need to learn to say no NOW -regardless of how much he's crying! We've left many a Target, Walmart and other stores with one of mine crying over an unpurchased toy or candy bar or whatnot. What are you going to do in several years when he wants to ride his bike somewhere that you're not comfortable with -let him if he cries about it? The fact that he has so many toys is part of the problem. Just like many things -the more he has, the more he wants. My two sons have MANY toys. I'm about to go through a weeding session this weekend, but we don't buy toys all the time. I don't know if you celebrate Christmas or do Santa or gifts, but I start back in September letting mine know that if they see a toy they like, they need to wait and ask Santa. We give toys for birthdays and many holidays and once in awhile just out of the blue -that makes it fun and not expected.

At age 6 he's really too old to be throwing fits over not getting a toy at a store. Let him know that sometimes he can "earn" a toy by amending or instituting a certain behavior he needs to do or by getting good grades or something. Tell him up front when you go to a store that you're not buying toys today. I also get my oldest to really look at the toy he wants -is it going to be interesting and fun in 2 days? Does it have a variety of uses when playing? What does he want to do with it? I think it's good to instill decision making in our children very early on. Kids and adults need to think before they whip out their wallets!

Go through his room and get rid of the stuff he no longer plays with. The first time I would do this when he's not around. After that, I would go through it a few times a year and let him help you pick out the stuff he doesn't care about any more. Remind him that if he wants more toys -you're going to have to make room for them!

The only way to stop it is to say no. Sorry to be harsh but . .
Who cares if he cries. He's manipulating you. Say no and make him deal with it. No means no. he dosen't respect the toys he has he doesn't get more. Christmas is only a couple of weeks away. Parenting kids like the way you describe in your post is what turns kids into brats.

Just remember it's not your job to be his friend, it's your job to be his parent.

When your child is 16 and bitterly crying that he wants a Porsche, are you going to go buy one for him? If you don't start saying "no" to him, that's what it'll come to. A six year old shouldn't be crying just because he didn't get a toy - unfortunately, that's typical "spoiled brat" behavior. At two, it's acceptable, because you can teach them that "no" means "no", at six (if he hasn't yet learned that lesson), it's a real problem. Start saying "no". You HAVE to for his sake - we all do it because it's part of being a good parent. We need to teach our children the realities of life BEFORE they enter the real world so they are prepared. A person who gets everything they want will NEVER be happy or content with their life, they will always be looking for "more". Is that the kind of person you want to raise?

Understand that, pure & simple, you are ruining your son's life if you don't learn to say "no" to him, especially when he cries. He's 6 years old and already learning to be a spoiled brat who manipulates to get his way.
Take your son up to his room with a big box and a trash bag. Have him fill the box with toys in good condition that he doesn't need anymore that he can give to needy children. Any toys that are broken go in the trash.
From now on he'll get a few toys for Christmas and his birthday and maybe one every once in a while for a "just because". Never because he screams and cries for one.
If you make this big change you will be shaping your child to be giving, loving, unselfish and kind. You will giving him the opportunity to have the future you want for him.

the word you're looking for is NO.

Your child is crying bitterly because he knows it WORKS...you need to start teaching him that we don't get everything we want just because we want it. Just steel yourself ahead of time that THIS shopping trip is NOT going to include any new toys or clothes for him...and then make it stick. It is not being "mean" to teach your child to be reasonable and to understand that you don't get ask for something and then receive it.
I agree with the idea of "rotating" toys at home...clean up his room...organize it and then divide it into halfs or thirds or whatever...and box up some of it and then bring it out and to him it will be brand new and interesting.
It is not our job, as parents, to make sure our children are always happy...(although that would be really nice!! I admit!!) Our job is to help them grow into happy, fulfilled, well rounded adults...and sometimes that means teaching them some less than pleasant lessons that lead to good attitudes and ultimately happier children

Six-year-olds are SOOO good at this! And it seems as if your little boy is winning the game he's playing with you. If he cries and you give in, why shouldn't he cry? It's not about the toys; it's about the power of getting what he cries for.

If you really don't like this game, YOU have to stop playing.

Say, "Cry as much as you want to, but this game's over!" You'll feel as if you're hardening your heart. Sometimes mamas need to harden their hearts to wrong behavior or wrong demands. Crying in itself doesn't make you a bad mother. Children cry for all sorts of reasons, and some of them have nothing to do with child-raising.

So steel yourself and respond to his crying with a smile and a sense of humor. Be friendly and firm. Don't explain too much; just let him know that this is the way it's going to be from now on.

It doesn't mean you don't give him any new toys for Christmas, of course, but there should be no new toys before (or after). Go through his current toys with him; ask him to pick out his favorite ones and to be willing to give the others to children whose parents can't buy them toys this Christmas (surely there's a charity or thrift store near you that can use them). If he can part with even a few, he's learning a good lesson.

While this is going on, you can decide if your boy is old enough to get some weekly spending/earning money to save for buying new toys himself once in a while.

Just say no. Lather, rinse, repeat. If he cries, send him to his room until he calms down.

You have to be strong and tell him no, even if he cries.... He can't have everything he wants, though it hurts to see them cry....

Try this: If he has a lot of toys, go through and pull out the ones he's not playing with (might be easier to do after he's in bed). Then, put those into a bin somewhere he doesn't have access & doesn't see them.

Next time he says he wants a new toy, tell him to "shop at home first." Take him to the bin and tell him he can take out one toy from the bin (or whatever low number you think appropriate) if he puts the same number back into the bin. The toys in the bin will be "fresher" and hopefully more appealing.

The other thing you can try: he's 6, so he is old enough for chores (light/simple ones, like helping unload the dishwasher or sweeping, feeding the dogs, etc.). Tell him that you know he wants more toys, and that you'll give him a way to earn those by giving him allowance for chores (either regular chores or per request chores [when he asks for a job so he can earn money]). Then tell him that you'll take him to the store (dollar store :) to buy a toy when he's earned enough money.

Wanting new toys is normal for all of us, kids and adults. As an adult, I know it's not reasonable to get something new every time I see something that I want. A child hasn't learned this skill. It's our job as parents to teach our children the realities of the world which includes knowing that we can't have everything we want.

I suggest that he's learned that if he cries bitterly you'll give in and buy the toy. You are doing him a disservice. He needs to learn self-control and ways to be satisfied with what he has. IF you continue buying him new toys he will continue to tire of them and want more.

I suggest you make a plan based on your finances and your child's needs. Put toy buying into your budget. You'll spend up to this much money each month and stick with it. Explain what you're doing to your son and eventually he'll accept it. He'll feel more secure, knowing that he can't manipulate you and he'll learn to be thankful for the toys he has and play with them. This will take months for him to learn. You have to hold firm in a calm and accepting way. You can tell him you know it's fun to get new toys but the budget just doesn't allow for it. Sympathize with his disappointment but don't give in.

It's natural for a child to cry when they're disappointed. A parent's goal is not to make their child always happy. It's to teach them how to live in this world. Do you always get what you want? Your son has to learn to accept disappointment. Be sympathetic to his pain but stand firm so that he learns that he's OK even when he doesn't get what he wants.

You're just going to have to say no. When I go into the store with my kids, I warn them first that we are not buying anything (this includes treats). If they ask while we were in the store I remind them, What did Mommy say? Then they're like, we're not buying anything. I also avoid the toy aisle.

At home, I would bag up some of his toys then bring them back next month. He will be thrilled and it will be like getting new toys. We do that with our kids. They love it!

Start making a change now. You're only going to create a spoiled ungrateful child if you don't.

My 6 year old son is the same way and has been since he was 3.I learned pretty fast to say no though. I don't take him toy shopping with me anymore (for another child's bday party), bc it's such a pain! These are the things I have done. I tell him he gets new toys on his birthday and Christmas and when he wants something we write it down on his wish list. (this is not entirely true, he will get a new toy now and then, just not that often) I also tell him he can save his own money for things he wants. He pet-sits (with my help) for a couple neighbors to earn money and we will occasionally give him chores to do to earn money (small amounts like 50 cents or a dollar). When we are in the store and he wants something I tell him he can use his own money to buy it. Sometimes he will buy it and sometimes he actually will decide he does not really want it that badly. Before going into stores I remind him we are not going to buy a toy, but sometimes I will tell him he can pick out a snack or a gumball or something else small. Good luck! I know it is a pain when your child is always asking for things. The wish list is quite helpful, I have to say!

I agree with Julie. Just say no.

I also believe it is time to give your child an allowance. I'd suggest $6 per week if that is affordable. You can ask that part of that goes to savings and a small percent to charity of his choice. Let him keep jars for that. Then, if he asks for a toy.....ask him if he has enough money. Be firm. Tell him you won't be spending your money that way anymore. Only special occasions..... your choice. Teach him that you spend your money on what you are comfortable with, and what you can afford. He must do the same. You will be amazed what he no longer wants when you say to him, "Oh sure, you can have that if you want to buy it with your money. I don't want to spend my money on that."

You are going to have a few tantrums since he has learned to get what he wants through this method. Be Firm! It will benefit him.... and YOU

I agree with both answers. I think we are all guilty of giving in now and then. Sometimes it stems from us having gone without as youngsters, it is a bit of satisfying him....but also yourself. Definitely rotate the toys, you'll be amazed how much they'll re-love playing with a toy they haven't seen for a while! Stay strong when he sends you on a guilt trip, and know you're not alone. Don't think you are being "mean" if you don't give in!

Always remember that you have the power of a two-letter words that starts with "N" and ends with "O". If you use it liberally for such demands, both you and your son will be better off in the long run.

First, I wouldn't say no. I would say "I wish you could have that too!" or "I wish I could buy that for you." or "I'll buy that as soon as our budget allows it." My son also gets money from relatives and I'll say "sure! You are certainly welcome to spend your money on that if that's what you want." Sometimes I get silly and try to wish it in front of me or snap my fingers or do a magical incantation to try to get the toy to appear.

Sorry you are heartbroken when your son cries. Would it help to think that part of your job of raising him to be a successful person is to help him be able to deal with his feelings? It would be awful if he couldn't budget his money and wound up in debt and bankrupt because he couldn't prioritize between his wants and his available budget. (worst case scenario, but maybe it helps you???)

if you dont say no now you still wont be able to say no to what he wants when he is a teen. kids learn fast how to get what they want.
but one idea is make him earn it. even at this age you can start teaching him about money and saving it for what you want. give him so simple chores and set up a plan

Sadly, "no" is a necessary word in a parent's vocabulary ... it's just a bummer when they give us the tantrums. When my son goes through these phases, I ask him what toy he's going to give away to charity if we get this one. Usually, he'll realize he doesn't really want the new toy more than the ones he already has (this also is wonderful for all the stupid McDonald toys he wants to bring home!). Another idea, especially to help teach him about money, is to start giving him a small allowance, and then ask him if he's going to spend his money on the new toy? Just some ideas!

Remove a lot of his toys (those that he is not actively engaged in). Then rotate them back in (pulling others out). As he rediscovers them they will be new again.

Unless you have money to blow and just spoil him, I don't know what else you can do. It is better for him to learn what no means as well as not getting EVERYTHING he wants. You are responsible for the things he needs, above that everything else is gravy.

If you can't tell him no now, what are you going to do when he is older?

you just need to say no , don't stop in the toy's area at all, and if he cries juts take him out of there or hang in there (moms don't mind )until he realizes that he won't get any.....
my girl just to do the same and after some work she's just a better person on all the way around, I mean she just to play with the new toy maybe for 5 10 min. and to the closet.and at 6 she had a ipod, nintendo ds ,and was asking for a lap top plus she never play with anything she just WANT TO HAVE and thats really bad behave to keep so we took all her toys(3 big black trash bags) and the tv from her room. I pack barbies in one box, babies in other, and keep them apart so when she wants to play with something she ask me to go and get it and is just like shopping she get really happy when she sees the old toy. and since a year ago I just buy her a toy on birthday, and christmas . I still keep buying crafts and table games but thats something that she share with us too and I do it just when she did something out of comun not just because she wants. she now apreciatte more every little thing that she get plus not more crying on the store.
so you need to work on this really bad because unless you have plante of money ...with age the toy get expensive too.

uh say no, or ok, but we have to get rid of THESE toys first. bag the one's on bottom up and out in the garage or whereever, giving him less to play with, then when tired of those and "wants new toy" grab a "new" toy from the bag but exchange it out with an "old" one

I think they all try this at one time or another.
At 6 yrs old, he's not a toddler anymore and it's time to start working on some impulse control - yours and his.
Explain to him everyone wants things and a lot of the time they can't have them. I'd like to win a really big lottery, but I don't see that happening any time soon. I'd like to have a maid clean the house, a gardener weed the garden, the bills and mortgage paid off, but these are things I have to do myself and no amount of my crying over it is going to change that. If I can live with some unfulfilled wants, so can my child.
Crying when disappointed is an emotional release. He's not injured, uncomfortable or hungry. When he does this offer a hug or a snuggle and tell him a good cry can really make you feel better once it's all over. It's almost like a re-set button. I know it makes me feel better. If he goes off into tantrum mode, he can go to his room. My son doesn't pull it often anymore but he's older now and sometimes I tell him he can go to his room and feel sorry for himself for 10-15 min, but by then he'd better be over it. Excessive brooding and moping accomplishes nothing. Life goes on whether you like it or not.
I do have to say though that my son is a pretty good kid. He helps around the house with few or no complaints, gets straight A's and he's quite the gentleman. In return for all the good he does, I'm very generous at the book store the few times of year we go and he knows his good behavior is being rewarded. He knows bad behavior I will not reward.

All good answers. I understand. As a child, I was always the one with the most toys so my perception is skewed. My husband thinks she has had way too many toys since she was two where as I think, yeah, she has too many now. We donate and trade toys, but the easist is the toy rotation.