My Little Boy.....

My cousin's wife has a daughter with mosaic downs from her first marriage. It's basically the same with a few diffrences. I don't know that much about it, but I know that she wants more children even though the risks are higher. Alexa is very sweet and loving. Her biggest problems are with her speech and basic emotional development. Nobody can tell you how to feel, but they will try. All any child needs is love. You wont really know anything until you know how severe it is. Someone also suggested a support group. I think that's a great idea.

There is a website for the National down Syndrome Society that can offer you a lot of help and information. It is www.ndss.org
Children with DS are very special and are very sweet. He will need extra care and special attention. It would be best if you could find a pediatrician who specializes in children with DS, it will make a huge difference. I wish you the best. Get as much information as you can, and see if you can find a DS group in your area it will help to meet with other parents who have been through this and can help.

Fortunately we learn and become stronger through the situatons that we go through on a daily basis. You're in my prayers as well as your family. Have a new child is always trying and demanding. I can only imagine what you are going through and how you feel. If you need to talk, I am here. I have worked with special needs children through the education system and find that Down Syndrome children are very compassionate, loving and honorable. YOu have a lot to look forward to as your children will love one another unconditionally and your daughter will learn to love others regardless of their situation. You have been blessed with diversity and it will work out.

I would suggest asking your Peditrician. My Pedetrician is wonderful and always a terrific resource for finding support groups and agencies that can offer help and information on a wide variety of subjects. My little boy was a preemie, 6 weeks early, and between the NICU staff and the Pediatrician they got me in touch with several programs that worked with us to chart his development and and set-up therapy routins until he was 2.

Hi M.,

It sounds to me that what you need right now is support from people who know exactly what you are going through. I don't know in what area you live but if you live close to a big city you might be able to find a support group.
I wish you strength during this time of adjustment.

I do not have a Down Syndrome baby however from what I have read and seen, if you treat them like they are normal, they will act normal. They are very special, loving children. My heart has always gone out to them. Best of luck with your angel!

Hi M..
First I want to tell you congratulations on the birth of your beautiful baby boy. I feel that you are lucky because you have a child that will be the most loving you have ever seen. Your daughter is also lucky because she will see first hand that everyone is different and that it is how you treat all people that makes you special.
Second, I Googled Down Syndrome and found some wonderful sites full of great information. There are two that I want to bring attention to. They are the National Down Syndrome Society (www.ndss.org) and the Down's Syndrome Association (www.downs-syndrome.org.uk). Both of these sites can offer information and support for the many trying (and wonderful) times that you will be having with your little angel.
Good Luck!
N.

My heart goes out to you. I hope you can find lots of support and encouragement from family and friends. Having two children that young is hectic anyway, and with a special needs child, you'll need additional support. Down Syndrome children generally are very loving happy children. You need to try to always see the positive side of your son. He may not always live up to the dreams and goals that we all have for our children, but he is very special. AS you come to know him better, you will find the wonderful special things about just him, and you'll soon look past his disability and focus mostly on his abilities. Your daughter, will always be special because she is your first, and I think we always have a unique bond with our oldest child, since they were the ONLY ones in our lives for awhile. This will never change. I hope you are able to loe both of your children unconditionally and seek help if needed. Good Luck, I am sure you are overwelmed right now, sit back and enjoy your new family.

love your child, God does not give us anything we can not handle!!! Just love them both, Down Syndrome children are blessings from above, just like all other children.

HE IS NO DIFFERENT THAN YOUR DAUGHTER EMILY...HE IS YOUR ANGEL JUST AS MUCH AS SHE IS AND IF YOU LOVE HIM AS YOU HAVE LOVED HER, YOUR FAMILY WILL LIVE AND GROW PERFECTLY AND HAPPILY! I'M SURE IT IS SHOCKING TO GET SUCH NEWS BUT UNDERSTAND THAT HE IS JUST AS SPECIAL, IF NOT MORE THAN ANY AND EVERY OTHER CHILD IN THE WORLD!
DON'T LABEL HIM AS BEING "DIFFERENT" AND YOU WILL ALL BE FINE!
LOVE,
R.

Hi. I am a case managager for persons with disabilites in Durham, NC. It may still be a bit early, but I would recommend getting your son an early intervention specialist. They would be able to provide resources and help you obtain services available for your son. You can speak with some one about this by contacting the CDSA in your area (check out the website www.ncei.org). Also, research as much as you can about your son's diagnosis. The more you know, the better armed you will be for his future. Also, the ECAC (exceptional children's assistance center) provides lots of valuable inforamtion and support to parents (www.ecac-parentcenter.org). Your journey with your son will be different than the journey with your daughter, and at times a bit more of a challenge, but it will be just as rewarding. I work with 2 adults with down syndrome and both of them have jobs in the community. One still lives at home (but he is only 18) and the other lives in an aparment with a roommate. With the right supports and interventions, your son can go a long way. I have also pasted a letter from a Dear Annie posting that I came across when working at a preschool for children with developmental delays. Take care and if you have any other questions I may be able to help you with... please ask!

Welcome to Holland

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay, forever.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

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