My Kid Won't Go to School.

Hi try to stick around at the daycare without her seen you if she continues crying is because she does not like the daycare, the Kids or the teacher. Maybe you should try to switch daycare for now and maybe keep her there part time.

I hope this helps you.

By
Miss G.'s Home Daycare

How long has she been going to this day care? I would not MAKE her do something if she is that upset about it. Only from a PERSONAL experience my son was abused in a day care. I made him go even though he did NOT want to and i tore myself up when i found out what was happening.
If she JUST started going i would keep trying but if it has been a while and she is still upset find out what is going on. Ask her questions. Is someone hurting you? Is someone not using nice words? are you being ignored? Talk to the people at the day care. I am really sketchy about situations like this. I was never like that before until i had a BAD, HORRIBLE experience. I always thought it would NEVER happen to ME! but it did and its so common. I don't want to scare you but i just like to tell people through my experience. I don't wish that on anyone.
Look into it, don't let this go.
Good luck
A.

It really sounds like your child is desperate for time with you - her Mother. Is grand ma no longer available? Have you not been bringing her up?
Maybe you work full time ...
Is there any way you can arrange this time with her now?

Day care may not be a good option at the moment, she is showing you she is not ready.

There is a difference between seperation anxiety and fear of her surroundings. It almost sounds like she is afraid of the sitter and/or someone there, ask her about it and assess the situation. You may want to think about bringing her somewhere else.
My mom had the same experience with my brother, she couldn't deal with how he went straight to a corner & how sad he looked, so she took him out.
My son gets sad when he goes to school sometimes (he's almost 3), but he has good days and I see how happy he is when playing with the other kids (when picking him up). So I know he's in good hands.

i run a home daycare, and it is harder for kids who re raied by a relative then go to daycare, my kids that come to me as babies or tots do just fine, but the older ones had more trouble, so you take her, you say i love you and i will be back go get you hand her off to someone and leave, oit ill hurt, but it will be better for her and eventally better for you. J.

Your daugter won't hate you. She may say it, but she doesn't mean it. I would talk to her and if she wants to go to a different place and you can manage it, you might try changing schools. When you talk to her, really listen to what she is saying. You know your daughter best, but she may just miss grandma...
good luck
R.

Hi A.,

How long has she been in daycare now - did she just start recently?? It could take her a while to adjust. When we started our daughter in daycare she was almost 2 years old. She clung on to us, screamed, cried, kicked, etc. when we dropped her off. This continued for about the first two to three weeks and then suddenly she didn't need or want to be held anymore when we dropped her off. She went to her class on her own and didn't think twice about even giving us a good-bye kiss!

I would give her a while to adjust. It's a new environment for them, even though she's 4 years old and is a big girl, it's still a new change for her. She'll cry now and get over it soon and then when she moves on to Kindergarten, she'll most likely cry again at the beginning of thattransition too.

It's normal, don't worry. And she doesn't hate you either. Call the school during the daytime and ask them to see how she's doing. If you can, drop in during the day and observe her without her knowing you are there. I'm sure you'll find that she's getting along great with everyone and playing just fine.

-Char

Maybe the Daycare she goes to, she doesn't like it. Maybe something there, the environment or the other kids are a negative mix. ASK your child about it... she's 4 years old and can certainly express herself or "explain" in her own words for her age.

Talk about it with her.
Sometimes, a child may just be slow to adjust, sometimes they have reasons they don't like their daycare venue. Explore it and investigate that. Ask the Daycare provider about she behaves after you leave... are there any problems? Are their any problems with other kids and your child? Is there any teasing or bullying? (yes, at this age that can happen already. My girl was treated this way by a classmate Preschool at 4 years old). ASK about it...

Or maybe it's just her personality. My sister for example, was that way, and anytime there was something "new" to adjust to... she cried and clung to my mother. Even as an "adult" she had a hard time adjusting to new things. But, all is better now finally. She has become more flexible as a person. LOL.

PERHAPS.. .instead of Daycare, put her in a Preschool. Sometimes this can change their feelings/attitude about it. Perhaps she is simply going through growing pains... and "becoming" a "big-girl." It can be scary for some children.

She won't "hate" you... but she is obviously having trouble with something... adjustment, letting go, feeling all alone, being in a group environment, new expectations and routines etc. Does she have "friends" at Daycare? Or does she socialize well? Or is she more of a loner? Personality can play a part in it, and if they have developed friends.

talk and chat with her. Don't judge her... but see what she says. What is the Daycare provider like? Are they nurturing or cold and authoritarian? Maybe your girl does not like the way they manage the kids or "discipline" or handle the kids? It could be anything. Or, she is just needing more time and comforting to adjust.

It will pass. And before you know it, she will be all grown up! Good luck, I know it's not easy. Sometimes, my girl at that age, would act like that too...but it was at times when she was "stressed" (yes, kids can get stressed out too)... and when something new was happening (like me being pregnant at the time with my 2nd baby, and she was starting Preschool then too etc.) But I always talked about it with her... since that is her personality. And it made her feel better.

Perhaps, give your girl something "special" of yours, to take to Daycare with her... a photo, a special necklace etc. There is also a book called "The Kissing Hand" which is a classic... read it to her. That's what I did to prep my girl. It is all about going to "school" and having a special "kiss" to take with her.

Take care, hope it helps,
~Susan