My Infant Does Not Sleep

I don't know if you saw The Happiest Baby on the Block, but my 4 month old does really well with white noise loud in the background - we put it on a static station on the radio. I am in Windermere as well - any suggestions on in home child care in the area?

Please resist the desire to supplement with formula. Its doubtful that she is nutritionally lacking. Are you sure that when she's nursing she is actually eating? Babies often do something called "nibbling" where they are sucking more for emotional support than because their are hungry. Have any changes happened recently, like a shift in work schedules or additional stress that may have you frazzled? Babies pic up on subtle changes easily and nursing is the number one way for infants to be comforted. She may just need the reassurance that mommy is always there when she's needed. A good article to read about babies sleeping through the night is available here http://www.naturalchild.com/guest/kelly_bonyata.html Please recognize that your "need" to sleep through the night is not your daughter's need. She is still developing her self worth by finding out on a daily basis if her needs are routinely being met when she has them. And needs for a baby do not run on schedule.

Hi M.,
I can't respond to the throwing-up issue, but as far as sleeping through the night, I went through the same thing, and here is what worked for me after consulting my pediatrician.

My son was exclusively breast fed during the night, and when he was still waking every two hours to eat during the night at his four month appointment, his pediatrician recommended "sleep training" and gave me a packet of info on a modified version of the Ferber method. I couldn't stand the thought of my baby crying to sleep, so I didn't go through with it. Then at my son's six month appointment, when he was STILL waking every two hours to eat, and I was worn to a frazzle, the doctor pretty much insisted we try it because a good night's sleep is so important for thier development at that age (and for mom, too). I stuck with it, and the program really worked. My son is now 18 months old, and for over 10 months now, has slept for 12 straight hours every night!

Basically, it boils down to having a consistent bed time routine, putting her to bed awake at at the same time each night (8 p.m. works great), and checking her when she cries but not picking her up or soothing/nursing her to sleep (you can pat her to let her know everything is okay) and then leave the room. You wait five minutes, and then check her agian, wait ten minutes, then check her again, and so on, increasing the amount of time between each check by five minutes until she goes to sleep (that way she knows you WILL respond to her cries so she does not feel abandoned, but if there is nothing wrong, you aren't going to hang around just because she doesn't want to sleep). You go through the same process of checking her but not feeding her or soothing her back to sleep each time she wakes at night. The program stresses the importance of allowing your baby to go to sleep/ return to sleep on her own. You can give her a comfort object (blankie, stuffed animal) to help her soothe herself, but do not feed her to get her to sleep.

The key is to stick with it. I learned the hard way when I gave up the first time and then had start all over. But, once I was consistent and did not waver form the program, it worked wonders and my son became a champion sleeper, which at one point I never thought was possible.

There are other variations on this method, so you may want to research your options, and choose a method that you are comfortable with (I have also heard of "Sleep Easy" but am not familiar with it.)

You will probably get a lot of different advice on this subject and ultimately will have to do what you are comfortable with. The key is consistency. Glad I could share what worked for me.

Hi, M.
I had the same problem with my baby. She never slept through the night (consistently) until she was a year old when I started giving her cow's milk. I was getting up two to three times a night breastfeeding her until then. What I started doing was nursing her less and less each time. It got to where I was nursing her for only a couple of minutes and then I would put her back down and she would go back to sleep. I think it was comfort she needed more than anything. Who knows? She may have been thirsty. I know I wake up and take a sip of water during the night. I tried giving a bottle of pumped milk during the night thinking she would be more satisfied, but found it was just easier to nurse. Good luck to you. I know how tired and frustrated you are. Many blessings to you and your family.

Have you discussed this with your peditrician? If she is demanding to be fed every two hours, it sounds to me like she may not be getting enough food. My four month old grandson started taking a bottle with 2 tablespoons of cereal added at his 7pm feeding at three months old, and is sleeping from 8 pm until 5:30 every night. He is now getting cereal and fruit mixed together from the spoon and sleeps so much better. Talk with your doctor first, but us "older moms and grandmas" believe that if you want to sleep, make sure they have a full tummy!

Give her a little bit more time - my daughter started sleeping throough the night at @ 6-months and is still doing very great. We trained her to fall asleep on her own and have a routine with her that we stick to every night. Babies thrive and need routine to survive at this young age. There's a great book that I read called "Sleeping through the night" by Jodi Mindell. Read it or at least scan through the book to get ideas, but you have to train them - and there are many methods that you can try, but you will have to do what's comfortable for you. The most important thing is that you do not let her fall asleep in your arms and then put her down asleep - you can do your routine and get her sleepy and then put her down while she's still somewhat awake. You can say things like it's nighty night time, mommy loves you, it's time to go to sleep now and rub her back to comfort her (that's if she's sleeping on her stomach already). From there you can continue on with whatever method you go with, but we did the cry it out method but when starting out we let her cry for 5 minutes and then went in for no longer then 1-minute and comforted her by talking softly and rubbing her back (do not pick her up) and each time you have to go in her room you add another 5 minutes, so the 2nd time you go in you let her cry for 10 minutes then go in again and so on until she falls asleep... If you can't take it to hear your baby crying then this isn't the method for you but typically most babies will stop crying after @ 30-45 minutes and go to sleep and that time will decrease day by day and by 1-2 weeks will have learned to fall asleep on their own. My baby was very stubborn and cried for 2 1/2 hours the first night which was extremely hard on us but we perservered and now she sleeps peacefully. Ocassionally she'll wake up in the night but we let her cry it out again and usually in a few minutes she has herself back to sleep - our rule is anything over 15 minutes then we'll go in and comfort her. You can try staying in the room and sitting by her crib and talking softly and rubbing her back and slowly move your chair further and further away from the crib on a nightly basis.

You should also talk to her Ped about this, but is your baby eating solids yet? Definitely start giving her some solids and supplementing with formula and that will help - my daughter woke up every 2 hours also and when we started giving her solids and mixing the breast milk with formula, she slept longer periods of time until 6-months when she finally slept through the night. She most likely will start sleeping longer periods for a week or so and your times waking up will get less and less until it's no more.

As far as the bottle - my daughter also refused to take a bottle for very long. She wanted the boob all the time, but I went back to work PT and stayed with my mom during the day so obviously she had to take it. She took the bottle reluctantly for about 1 month or so and then would not take it at all anymore - she would starve herself until I picked her up and held out for the boob. So, I got a sippy cup for her and she took to the Gerber, sNUK starter cup immediately. The cup allows for 5 oz and has handles which will start to train her to learn how to hold her own cup. The spout is soft but same material of a nipple but looks like the regular sippy cups do. I've gotten rave reviews from other moms who had the same issue and this was the one and only cup that their child took to. I've now moved her up to the Gerber Training cup which is pretty much the same but it allows for 7 oz as she's drinking more milk. I've found these cups at Walmart and Albertsons.

Good luck to you, I know that it's hard but be patient and persevere through a little bit of difficult nights and you will make it through! The end result is sooo worth it.Let us know how things work out and you both will get a good nights sleep soon...

I didn't figure this out until baby #3--- just because she is crying doesn't mean she is hungry. Such a simple concept now to me because I can stand back and take a look at what I did with the first 2. Anytime they cried, they got the boob! So they eventually came to associate any kind of discomfort (including just being sleepy) to wanting to nurse. It's possible that she won't take the bottle because she isn't hungry- she just wants the comforting she can only get from nursing. Read Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for a very humane way to get her to fall asleep and stay asleep

My child is sleeping a bit better but here is some things that I tried when Nathan wouldn't sleep. (This is only because he was gaining enough weight that it was ok, make sure your baby weights enough, if not you might have a total different issue)
I was told that during the day to stretch out time in between meals so that he got used to bigger time gaps. they said even if you try stretching it a few minutes longer each time it helps. during the day I have gaps of around 3 hours, some have been shorter. He also doesn't take very long naps (which I was told could also be part of the problem, if the baby sleeps too much during the day they wont want to sleep at night).
Here is our routine.
At about 7:00 we would feed him about 2.5oz of solid food, then somtimes give him a bath with lavender soap (supposed to be calming).
We then move into his room which only has a nightlight on (or a blue light to represent night). In his room we put a CD looping white noise to help with any clicks or squeeks that would wake him up. I would change his diaper, then put him in a onezie and a zip up sleepsack (that zips down so the zipper is at the bottom, not a plain blanket as he would just kick those off, and he is too big for the miracle blanket now) and then nurse him in his room at around 7:30 (no talking, sometimes humming) try not to let him fall asleep during feeding though. If he filled up on one side it was ok, I would hold him upright for a bit to see if a burp came out or if he was still hungry then I would switch to the other side. once full we would put him in his crib and turn on a mobile if he still had his eyes open. we don't let him sleep with a pacifier as we were told that anything touching his cheek would wake him up. I keep the door closed to prevent him from hearing other noises. if he wakes during the night I would give him a pacifier and rock him sitting position with his back to me, so he knows he's not getting a midnight snack (I tried the let him cry thing once and I couldn't keep doing it). Once he calmed down, I layed him back down, and would gently take the pacifier away. repeat as needed until 5:30am when I would feed him again. I would lay him back down until 7:30 when I would feed him and then take him out of the sleep sack change his diaper (as I wouldn't change it at night) and now time to play and that would begin the day.

For rejecting a bottle here are a few thoughts. we try to get as close to nursing experience as possible, we use a doc browns wide bottles (as it has a bigger nipple) we tried different numbers (amount of milk that comes out)#1 or #2 works best for us. We put in breast milk and run it under water to warm it up or use a bottle warmer to make it room temp. If possible I try to get daddy to feed him with me out of the room (as he can smell me up to around 15 feet away). There is another bottle from babies R Us that claims to be just like "the real thing" we haven't tried it yet but I'm saving it for the weaning time just in case http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2968119.
Hope that helps.
T.

Hi,

It sounds to me that your baby is snacking and sleeping. When my twins came home from the hospital, I found that is what they were doing. I had a hard time breaking this.

I would suggest to you to feed her and try to keep her awake for longer intervals prior to naps & stretch the feedings a bit. It is hard but you can try to give water in a bottle if she requires something to drink between feedings. And I would try a specific night time routine & stick with it, babies do not always respond right away to your routine, but in the end you & she will be happier.

Good luck & let us know how she does.

Now I was unable to nurse, so not taking a bottle is not something I know much about, but I would assume that finding the right fit for her is the problem. I know with my eldest daughter I went through 4 or so kinds of bottles & nipples trying to find one she liked.

My 9 month old refuses breast milk from a bottle and cringes at the taste of formula. She, too, only wants to nurse! I'm glad I am not the only one out there dealing with this. Oh and she just last week started sleeping through the night. My plan is to wean her from breastfeeding at a year old when she is able to drink cow milk. I hope it works. So don't worry, you are not alone. I hope everything works out and I'll pray for her to start sleeping through the night. I know how hard it was on me, I thought I would never be able to sleep again. In the meantime, just try to stay sane! :)

Very few babies (especially boob babies) sleep through the night. My son is almost 8 months old and he's still up once a night to nurse. At 6 months he was still up every two-three hours to nurse. Eventually, he stretched it to sleeping 5 hours at a time. He did this on his own. Now he goes down at 7:00 and wakes up around 4:00 for a snack then goes back down until 7:00. Hang in there. It does get better. She'll get tired of waking up so much herself. I know that it's not wonderful advice but I figured that I'd at least share my expierence with you. I know that it's "annoying" right now but try to cherish the times that you're up with her in the quiet of the night. Good luck!

P.S. Try mixing breastmilk and formula and see how she does.

I am going through this still for the most part. My daughter is 4 months and wakes up about every 3 hours to nurse then she's back asleep. I heard some advice to eat alot of protein for dinner and that should help them sleep. I tried it the other night and she slept 5 hours adn only woke up twice...give it a try!
K.
WAHM & lovin' it!