My Husband Filed First

I am a member of this website and a divorce attorney. I would be happy to help you with your issues. I am good, experienced and reasonably priced. Visit my website at www.jorinrubin.com and call my office to set up a free consultation. I will be able to answer your questions then. J.

Try contacting Richard Victor. He's a family law attorney in Oakland County. I don't know what he charges (I've never personally used a family law attorney) but I know of his work through my job at a legal newspaper. He knows what he's doing and can perhaps help you and your husband mediate something that will work out for both of you in terms of custody. Personally, I've never heard of a judge giving full custody to a father unless there were extreme mitigating circumstances (i.e. the mother is unfit). I wish you the best in this difficult time.

K., I feel for you during this very painful and difficult time. I also went through a divorce lately and am still dealing with some parent visitation time issues. You definitely need to be very straight to the point with your lawyer and tell them exactly what you want to happen. You may need to interview a few lawyers before you find one you feel will represent you the best way you see fit. Trust me, take the time to find a good lawyer you feel comfortable with, it will make a huge difference. I know a great family law attorney, Christopher Flowers, and his office is in Southfield. I dont know the details of your situation, but chances are they will not award full custody to the father. He will be given a set of parenting time guidelines to follow (which will be the minimum he will have the right to) and if you two can communicate and work together you can tweak it as you see fit to your schedules. I would not worry that he filed first. I know as a mother you are putting your children first and doing everything you can to shield them from any arguements you and your ex may have. It will take time, but hopefully in your case you and your ex will come to terms with the situation and be able to work together to raise your children. Unfortunately it is not always that easy. As long as you know you are doing the absolute best you can for your children, that is all you can do with this nightmare of a situation you never thought you would ever be in. Feel free to email me if you need someone to talk to or any other assistance. Be strong

K.,

I am sorry that you are going through a difficult time right now it will be a hard year for you. Divorce is never easy on adults and especially kids. I come from parents who are divorced and can I just say "PLEASE PLEASE do not fight with your husband soon to be ex" Please be civil to each other, it will be rewarded years to come. I know it can be hard but if you are frustrated wait till the kids are gone and scream and talk all you want but please don't do it while kids are in the same house as you. My parents got along great, and I am not 32 and it is wonderful - they sat at my wedding together, enjoy b-day parties together. Also the judge has the right to put the children with who he see's as fit to raise them. Maybe try and talk to your husband (in private, send the kids to a neighbors for 30min) and maybe try to work something out. If he is going to live close maybe split the week (even though I think that custody is crazy on parents and kids) or try something else. Good Luck and remember to put the KIDS first, remember he might not be doing this to be mean but maybe he feels he can be a better full time parent the same reason you do. Don't take what he is doing as personal take it as he has the same thinking as you. KIDS FIRST! Good luck and sorry I don't know a good lawyer.

K.