Hi K.,
I am the mom of two little boys and both of them had to be checked to see if they needed a helmet. I wanted to start off first by saying that when people/friends say things about your own child, everyone gets offensive, it is a normal reaction. Maybe your friend could have done it differently or maybe if she had, you still would have gotten your feelings hurt, because it is your child she is talking about. So I understand your point of view.
I was a first time mom when my son's pediatrician mentioned I may want to go see a pediatric bone doctor for his head because she thought it was a bit flat in the back. I was hurt - even by a doctor telling me this! I wondered why I hadn't seen it first and was there something wrong with him? I did get an appointment with a well-known pediatric bone doctor in this county and she said I shouldn't worry about it, and she had never even heard of the helmet and it will round out on it's own. I started to really examine him and seen it for myself. I wasn't impressed with her answer so at that time I had switched to a different pediatrician and he recommended I go to a place in Annandale, VA called Cranial Technologies - they will give you a FREE consultation. So I made the appointment and they did measurements, pictures..etc. and said he was definitly a candidate for the helmet. My husband and I asked about prices and it was around $4,000.00, some insurances will pay for it, others consider it "cosmetic" and will not pay for it. Time is everything when talking about this helmet!! They went ahead and submitted it to my insurance while my husband and I debated on what to do. I also wrote a letter to my insurance company and sent in some photographs with it to help get it approved - and it worked, they approved it! I want to also say, right after going to Cranial Technologies we made an appointment at Children's Hospital to see a specialist there and we seen one of the actual makers of the helmet. I must also say while sitting in the waiting room I seen really bad cases of plagiocephaly (one type of flat-headedness - there are other names depending on where the child's flatness is)!! I felt very fortunate!! He told us our son was not a bad case and he thought it may round out, it was up to us on what to do and the only person who would notice would be if one day when he got older he needed glasses. Noone would have really noticed unless it was pointed out so don't think it is really noticable in all cases!!
You do need to consider that every doctor has their own opinion BUT because this helmet has it's benefits if done early, it has to be done as soon as possible you don't have time to waste on getting it checked out or getting a second opinion. I could have went with the first bone pediatric doctor who kind of laughed at the whole helmet idea, but I wanted to seek out every single option for my child.
To make a long story short, we got the helmet, insurance ended up paying for it, and I am SOOOOOOO happy we made that decision! I do not believe it would have rounded out on it's own. We found out he also had a condition where his neck was kind of stuck to one side and that is what was making his head flat because he was always leaning to one side! I actually went back and looked at pictures of him as an infant and in every picture his head is slightly tilted to one side - something we never seen!! The helmet we got, along with therapy for his neck fixed all of it. Early intervention is key for this!
Do not be offended by your friend, I really think she is looking out for you!! I see so many young children in the store who need (or needed) a helmet and I wish I could go up to them and tell them!!! You have to seek out all of your options and make a choice as a mother what you think is best. Go to www.cranialtech.com to look at their website, you can check out photos of other children and compare them to your own child as well. Dont' forget they have a free consultation, there number is ###-###-####. My youngest son ended up not needing the helmet! If you google "plagioceohaly" you will see research, newspaper stories..etc. that are very beneficial and will also help in your decision. I found out that it does tend to run in the family, they see lot's of siblings, it can also be caused by the infant not having enough room in the womb during pregnancy, and I also found out it can cause children to have SOME delays in learning. I have not had any learning problems in either of my children but it is very interesting to research this subject! Good luck with your decision, I hope I helped!!