My Five Month Old Will Not Sleep

I'm curious just what sort of routine you expect a five month old baby to get into? None of my kids ever really got into any sort of regular routine until they were at least eighteen months to two years old.

Today parents expect infants to grow up too quickly. Your child is an infant...not a toddler, not a pre-schooler, not of school age or an adolescent. Give the poor thing a little time and stop trying to grow him up so quickly. One day you'll wish he was five months old without a routine again...

If you feel it's too hard on you all I have to say is welcome to motherhood. Things are as easy or as hard as we decide they are...perspective is EVERYTHING.

I'm sorry that you are so tired; I remember those days. I know that it is frustrating but infants aren't designed to fall asleep quickly, alone or without comfort from an adult. Infants have to learn to fall asleep by relaxing themselves. The bad news is that they usually don't learn those skills until they are a bit older (it is called resettling). Until then, he really needs you to comfort him and to let him know that you are there. Is it possible for you occasionally to nap with him?

You may want to read this website by pediatrician Dr. Sears
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp
He explains infant sleep patterns and he gives strategies to help get infants to sleep.

Good luck and as I'm sure you've heard "this too will pass"

i'm sure it's not what you want to hear when you are exhausted, but i think that's very common. it sounds like you are trying all the right things. sometimes babies just need to be held. keep in mind that what might help will change over time, and sometimes nothing will help. hopefully he will go thru a better sleeping phase soon, but it will likely be on again, off again thru the first year. it does gradually get easier tho.
if you haven't tried it, my son REALLY loved the glow worm. i think its the dorkiest toy ever, and wouldn't have even bought it, but our friends gave us one as a gift b/c their daughter loved it.
good luck!

HI Lynette,

Ahhhh the sleep. Yes, I remember going through this with my daughter at exactly the same age. She slept well from 2-5 months then wow. It took a little while.
There's lots going on for your little guy right now - huge developmental milestones, lots of growth, increasing awareness of the world and a newfound understanding that he and you are not the same entity. All these things come with sleep disruptions for him (and you!) You seem like you're quite receptive to him and are working with him to help everyone get some sleep, and congratulate yourself for that. Keep doing what you're doing, trying to help him, and you'll find something that works. for me it was co-sleeping and nursing pretty much all night. I found a way to sleep while she was nursing so we both got a little more sleep. I also recommend the book "No cry sleep solution" by Elisabeth Pantly and "The Sleep Book" by Dr. Sears.
You don't say if you're working or at home with him but if you can nap when he does, to get a little extra shut-eye.
As you probably remember, this doesn't last forever. He is telling you he needs you now, and you're doing a great job.

Well I am one of those Moms that did believe in establishing a routine for my two babies, and by remaining committed to it they did establish the habit by age 4 months of sleeping THROUGH the night for 12 hours and taking nice 2-4 hour naps during the day. I'm not writing this to make you feel bad, but just to offer a contrast to other Moms who have written who do not seem to think structure or routine are realistic. A mom who is firm, confident, and consistent does not need to have a baby that ALWAYS sleeps fitfully and wakes at all hours of the day or night. Normally; of course there are exceptions.

But on to you. You do need sleep. I hope you and your husband are taking turns with night time duties so you can get a few hours of uninterrupted sleep. I hope you have a friend or relative that will take the baby for a few hours so you can get a nap. If you want to give your baby the best care possible, you need to keep up your strength.

Part of the problem might be that you are always trying DIFFERENT things. I think babies are creatures of habit. The more regular and routine things are, the simpler their lives, the less they have to worry about. So my nap times were set in stone, my bed time was set in stone.

And I was not afraid of crying. "No baby ever died from crying," we said. Our rule was that we would let them cry for 45 minutes. Of course they did not usually cry this long. But if they did and I wound up getting them, I did not allow this to get me off my schedule or my routine. When the next sleep time rolled around, I followed the same rule.

Of course, you must be confident that your baby has eaten well, was burped and changed. I did not believe in the "snacking" approach to feeding, where they could have a sip or two whenever they wanted. If they snack they are never motivated to eat until they are full enough to last several hours. That's true of kids and adults, also! So whenever I fed him or her, I made sure he drank for a good 20 minutes on each side. If they fell asleep drinking, I woke them up. Basically, I followed the book "Babywise" to a T and it was wonderful.

But it's much easier if you start from day 1, and your baby is five months. I would say, make a decision and stick to it. I never rocked my baby to sleep because then they get used to it, it is their expectation, and you wlll always have to do that for hte next two years (or force them to change the habit YOU encouraged them in, and they don't like that!)! I put them in their crib and allowed them the opportunity to learn how to fall asleep in their crib. So if that's what you want to do, I would say commit to putting them down in their crib, let them cry it out and don't be discouraged if they don't accept it right away. My babies did not "cooperate" with my routine for the first three months but then, it was like a switch, all of a sudden they totally just started happily snuggling down when it was sleep time. I was glad I had persevered! Just try to be consistent each day and in a while things will improve (I can't predict when!)

take care, and I really and truly wish you well. I remember how stressful those days were.

HI I'm sorry to hear about your daughter, I've been there too. I lost my only daughter out of 6 children and it effects how you see your other babies too. Have you tried putting a musical toy in bed with him. Or one of those teddy bears they have with the sound of a heart beat. Or maybe just a rolled up warmed blanket. It maybe he just likes the warmth of your body while rocking. He will eventually out grow the rocking faze. Try rocking him to sleep and if he crys when you lay him down let him cry, it won't hurt him, he will eventually go to sleep if nothing more then wearing himself out. Does he sleep during the day? You say you run a day care out of your home, it maybe that he's just use to there being some kinda of noise going on when he goes to sleep. coming from a mom of 6 and a grandma of 4 I left a tv running or something at night.
There are no written rules for babies, babies are not all the same, what works for one doesn't always work for another.Some people beleive rocking a baby spoils them, not me I think babies are made to be spoiled, they're only little for awhile. If you have to have someone baby sit while you take a nap. Good Luck

Hi L.,
I agree with the other posters about starting a routine as early as possible. Even if it doesn't seem like the little one is really recognizing it or cares, it may settle in. I also have a five month old and have TRIED to do a routine. Unfortunately my baby still nurses to sleep, which I know is not good, but we still do the routine beforehand. I wash up her face and hands with a warm washcloth (or a bath if it is bath night), then put on a quiet lullaby CD. Then I breastfeed while my husband quietly reads a book or two. I don't know if it is sinking in, but I hope that all those things signal to her that it is bedtime. So even though she falls asleep right after eating, hopefully the other things are also associated with sleep so that later on it will work without the long feeding. Maybe you could put on some quiet music while you rock, and eventually just the music, without the rocking. I know the goal is to have nothing, but maybe small steps with get him there. At least that is what I am hoping for me! Good luck - you are doing a great job. And I hope you get some sleep soon!!!