My Daughter Keeps Coming Home from Her Father's with Lice

Updated on September 23, 2008
L.M. asks from Fullerton, CA
6 answers

I am beyond my point of comprehension right now. For over a year now, my daughter comes home from her father's house with lice after almost every visit. I don't understand it. Is there anything that I can do. She even goes to preschool, and never comes home with it. She only has it when she comes home from her visits. My husband and I are at the point where we just make sure we always have lice shampoo in the house and check and treat her every time she comes home.

Her father has 3 other little girls in his house. One is in the 2nd grade, one is 3, and the other is almost a year. My daughter, the 2nd grader and the 3 yo all share a room, and as far as I know, they have and sleep in different beds. I just need some advice on what I could do. Is there any way that I can keep her from going for her visits until I know that the lice is gone from their home? I've asked my attorney via email, and she has yet to get back to me. I'm just at my wits end. It is expensive to keep buying lice shampoo. It is also not fun for any of us to have to keep treating her every time she comes home. We can't even plan anything the day that she comes home in fear that she'll have lice, and might give it to someone else.

Please help!!

Thanks

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So What Happened?

My daughter's father and I do communicate and he knows that there is a problem. I don't for a moment want anyone to think that I do not know how to take care of the problem in my own home. All I can do is tell him that she has come home with it again. I have to have faith that he is doing what is neccesary on his end to remedy the problem.

Thank you to all who have responded. I appreciate the insights.

More Answers

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L.U.

answers from Honolulu on

Has everyones head been checked as well? It is most often that more information is needed to help ones family. Here are two web sites that you can share with your child's father and his family.

www.headlice.org
kidshealth.org/parent/infections/common/lice.html

Helping to promote positive communication with your child's father in order to insure the safety; wellness and help your child see that her parents are able to better cope and work together should be prioritized.

If your efforts are unresolved and the needs for your childs health are in question. Then, you have no choice to tell her father of limits/boundaries you need to take charge in lieu of your child.

I hope that with more knowledge, you both would be able to work together. Good luck, and I hope this information helps.

1 mom found this helpful
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R.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

L.,

Call Child Protective Service (CPS) and report it, and perhaps they can do a surprise visit at his house, hopefully that will help.

Good Luck

Rochelle

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

I would not call CPS. That seems vindictive to me. Have you talked with him? What does he say? Can you talk to the other mom? Do they have an ongoing problem with lice?

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J.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi L.:
First, lice is very common.It has nothing to do with wether one is clean.Kids bring it home from school,or from sharing a hair brush. Heck, all they have to do is be sitting or standing next to someone that has it.The reason your daughter continues to bring it home from her fathers, is because he hasn't rid everyone in his household of the lice. He needs to make sure all his girls are clear of it, all the hair-brushes cleaned. All the bedding washed in HOT water.throw pillows throw rugs...They should all be cleaned. I would tell your ex, that as soon as he has cleared all the girls of lice, and cleaned well,his daughter would be back. His neglect of handling the situation,is causing alot of discomfort and anxiety for your little girl. Not to mention the cost factor of course.I wish you and your darlin daughter the best.

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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

I would actually call CPS too. Not as a vindictive measure, but this may be a good way for your ex-husband to receive some education re: cleanliness. No child should have lice for over a year! Poor kid and poor parents having to deal w/ this.

Jen

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T.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

Lice shampoo only creates "super lice." Not to mention it contains dangerous chemicals. Try conditioner and baking soda and a good-quality nit comb.
I think all possible avenues should be explored before calling DCFS - that should be a last resort. That is an overwhelmed and broken department anyway - you don't want them in your child's life in any capacity if it can be avoided.

In the meantime you should document everything and refuse to send your daughter back there until they are lice-free. Call your attorney and have him/her get a court order if you have to. Keep calling till she gets back to you or find a new attorney.

Best of luck to you and your daughter.

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