My Daughter Is Small.

I would just kindly respond to negative comments as "I'm sorry you don't know what you're talking about"....if they say something is wrong with her. You're doc said she's fine. My daughter was about the same weight when she was one. I remember we didn't put her forward facing in the car at one because she hadn't hit the recommended 20 lbs!! Matter of a fact it was months past her 1st b-day when she finally hit 20lbs!

She is 5 and still by far the smallest in her class. She walked at 9 months, crazy smart and early on everthing. So being small doesn't mean that there is something wrong.

I hear ya on this one....I get tired of hearing it too. I have started replying to comments by saying "better than her being fat like many kids are these days!" I feel like people are knockin' my kid because they have these chunkers!!

Ironically I have 2 yr old that is HUGE! He weighs 38 lbs and it really tall!

All kids are different....just rejoice that you have a healthy beautiful child.

hi K.
she sounds like a very smart girl! tell them about all the other stuff she's doing. babies will usually only focus on one or two things at a time (even is one of those things is communicating instead of growing). she is just one year and pointing and looking at books, she is communicating with you. some kids are working on walking and don't do much talking or communicating. she's just focused on other things. it's such a wide range for what "normal" is. some babies are just smaller. if she is thriving, and it sounds like she it, i don't think there is anything to worry about. some kids don't want to walk till they are 18 months old or more, but maybe they're doing other things. don't let them get to you, she sounds like she's doing great.

(sorry i'm a bit of a rambler and repeater)

i would be mean about it. if you have said nicely that the "doctor says she is just fine and not to worry" and they still kept saying stuff. I would start getting b*thcy. But that is me. All kids develop differently, ESPECIALLY at this age. If she is not regressing in any of her behaviors, then she is fine. I would tell them all to shut the *f* up. But I also have a very short temper!!!

K.,
My favorite response is, "Results will vary!"

And as a word of encouragement, my daughter is also small for her age and you already have the confirmation from your Dr. that she's fine. Her being "behind" is in terms of weeks, not years! She'll get there!

UGH! That's a hard one. In my experience, it doesn't really matter what you tell them. They already have made up their minds that she is unhealthy or needs something that you aren't giving her, right? We have the same situation. My daughter was 18 lbs. at 1 year old too. I was 19 lbs. at 1 year old. I think it has to do with genetics (even if that doesn't look like it). I'm not sure there is something you can tell them without upsetting them. I'm sure you've told them that you've talked with the doctor and many other people about this and they have all reassured you that she is just fine. One thing the doctors looked for with my daughter was not where she fell on the growth curve, but that her curve was consistent; not taking any dips or falling down. That's what is important. Maybe you could ask them what they think needs to be done? She is healthy and it sounds like she is very bright also. Point out to them that she is hitting all her milestones (or ahead) and tell them that intervening with her weight and height may only pose health problems down the road.

Good luck!

My daughter is also a little small, but I'm small, too. She's 18 months and only weighs about 22 lbs. She also has not started walking yet on her own. She will walk holding our fingers and around furniture, but she will only take 4-5 steps on her own (that's only in the past week that she'll take steps). My doctor was not worried about it, but she suggested we call First Steps - it's a govt agency that helps out babies - 3 yrs. old with any delays. I'm glad we called them because they sent a physical therapist to our house and even though my daughter didn't qualify to be in the program, they gave me a lot of ideas on how to help her to get better at walking. This is my second child and I've been very relaxed about her doing things late, but sometimes it does worry you when people say things. All kids do things differently. My daughter didn't crawl until she was about 1 yr. old. She is a very content baby and the way the physical therapist put it is that she's not as busy as some babies, so she doesn't get the practice that other babies might get. She has a very good attention span and will sit for a while reading books or playing. Her fine motor skills are very good.

My mother-in-law was also worried about her, but I kept telling her she was fine. And now that I've had a physical therapist look at her, I feel reassured that I was right all along. If it makes you feel any better, I guess you could call First Steps. You could ask your doctor about it.

My daughter just turned a year also and is only 16 lbs and 27 1/2 inches tall all you have to do is say I have a healthy daughter and leave it at that. People just don't understand skinny people they think that something is wrong with them if they don't have any fat on them. Trust me I have dealt with it me whole life and so will my kids. S.

Hi K.,

My daughter is also small. She does have a thyroid disorder. She will be 5 in August and weighs 32lbs and is 38 inches tall. She finally broke that 28-30lb mark. She was there for awhile. She is also a little behind in her speech however, she is advanced in other skills. When we are out in public people think that she is 2-3 years old. My daughter was also a late walker. Just enjoy this time with her and let her do things at her own pace.

My first daughter was also that weight when she was one, and I am trying to research if there is an absorption disorder on her dad's side of the family because they are all very thin yet very tall. Remind your relatives that every baby works at their own pace and don't forget the unforgettable moments that you spend with her and all the joy she brings you.

You might try to let them know some children are "small" or "petite" & that's ok....I have a 12 yr.old that is 5'7" and in a ladies med. then the 6yr. old was always underweigth until she had her tonsils out & now she's in a size girls 16 jeans & 14 tops....she's short for her age but that's just the way she is...my parents made my life miserable with my first family but sometimes you just have to stand your ground...!

If your doctor isn't concerned, you can use that with your family members. Just say, "her doctor feels she is fine." All children develop at different speeds--my first daughter hated to be on her stomach, so she never crawled, and she didn't start walking until she was about 14 months old. My first son was crawling all over the place by the time he was 7 months, and started walking around 10 months. A friend's baby would stand up all by herself in the middle of the room and take steps when she was only 7 months old! If I were to compare my babies' progress with her, I would have been worried! Another friend had a baby that couldn't sit up until he was about 10 months--walked much later--he finally caught up with his contemporaries, and is an intelligent, creative, and healthy young man now. If your doctor feels there might be a physical problem that needs to be addressed, then by all means do something about it, but if he/she isn't concerned, you can let your family know that. J. W.

I'm sorry you are dealing with this...I have realized that everyone has to have an opinion. It doesn't matter who or what it's about, they have to comment on it. My second child was very small too, at a year he was 17 lbs. He's almost 5 now and 36 lbs, still pretty small. I wouldn't worry about her size at all...if your doctor isn't worried and you know she's healthy and eating good then she's probably fine. It sounds like she is very smart. I have heard that sometimes they can be ahead in some areas but to compinsate they may be behind in others...I'm sure there is a name for this but I can't think of it right now. I don't think you should worry about it yet. If in a couple months she's still not doing things maybe you should bring it back to your doctor's attention. And just tell your family that the doctor says she's fine and you agree with him...end of it. Don't respond to anything else after that.

Hi K..

I've got a very strong suggestion.It's harder if you have an extremely close knit family,especially on both sides! Here's the deal,cut off their conversation the minute it gets negative.This baby is yours and your husbands,not theirs.You take care of her properly and the dr has evaluated her,no worries! Basically, shut them up and you take control of the situation,not them.

C.

my son is also small. At first I was worried about this but my pediatrician put me at ease and told me that all children develop at their own rate. He said as long as he's hitting his milestones he's not concerned or worried. Like your daughter my son is very smart; lively; and active. He has a huge vocabulary that impressed even the doctor and he speaks very clearly no baby talk for my little man..lol. As for you family I just started telling them that as long as his doctor wasn't worried then I wouldn't be either. Unfortunatly some are just going to push and pry no matter what you say and i've learned to bite back. For instance I have an aunt that thinks Oprah walks on water and everytime she hears ANYTHING that woman has to say she runs right over to tell me how i'm doing everything wrong. I finally just told her that I was educated enough to know when someone doesn't know what their talking about and that she might consider cracking a book once in a while herself instead of vegging in front of the t.v. all the time. I told her she might surprise herself by learning about what Oprah DOESN'T know. Since then she hasn't brought Oprah up to me again and she's learned that if you don't have something positive to say then don't say anything at all. I think our families just wnat the best for us and they worry about our little ones as much and sometimes more than we do. The best solution i've found is to just nod your head and smile.

My son is on the small size too. He is 22 months and weighs 25 pounds and is in the 50th percentile for height. He was a little on the slower side for some of his motor skills (he walked at about 14 1/2 months,) but while this is later than most, he was still within normal range. While he was slow with some of his motor skills, he is very advanced with his cognitive skills. His doctors have told me that a lot of the things he can do are very advanced for his age (he has some skills of 4 year olds.) So I guess what I am getting at, is not to worry.

Every kid has their own strengths and that is O.K. I got a little static from my mother-in-law who kept telling me I had to feed him more, and do more things to encourage walking...but now, she is amazed at how smart he is. And now he is not only doing the same motor skills of 22 months old, but his skills have surpassed a lot of the kids his age. Don't worry. Enjoy every minute! She will be walking soon enough!

My first child is a girl and she was on top of the growth charts and very advanced in physical and mental development. Then I had a son. He stayed between the 5th - 15th percentile on growth charts until he was 3. He also was slow in reaching some developmental milestones. He is now 5, at the top of the class in academics and physically he is taller, stronger and more agile than most.

My point, try telling family members that "children do things in their own time". Trust your Pediatrician. If he/she is concerned then your family's concerns can be addressed. Otherwise, just enjoy your baby being just that... a baby! It is prescous! Watch out though - she will grow and mature and you will soon wonder where the time went!

You might be able to get her into First Steps. The federal government says every state has to have one of these programs. In Missouri, it is called First Steps, other states call it other things. They will come to your house and evaluate your child for services which include occupational therapy (fine motor skills), physical therapy, speech and special educator. I believe, to qualify she has to be delayed in two areas. Many kids delayed in the physical area are in occupational also, they go hand in hand. If she qualifies, a liscenced physical therapist, or what ever she needs, will come to your home or her daycare and work with her. If she doesn't qualify because she isn't delayed then you can tell your family that she has been evaluated by a professional and they should leave you alone. Children's Mercy set us up, you might be able to call your school distric, or Parents As Teachers to get a contact number

my advice is...don't engage in conversaions w/ negative family members about her size. simple state that her doctor is not concerned and neither are you. she's happy and well adjusted. that's all that matters

My Daughter was the same way! She weighed 17lbs and 1oz at her 1 year check-up. She was thriving and very happy. She was slow to set up and slow to walk, but that was all that she was slow at. And she is now 11 years old and has been a straight A student for several years. She is still on the short size but for the most part has caught up with her classmates in everything else.

As long as the doctor can tell you that she is thriving and healthy, do your best just to ignore the family that can't see it!!

We even have another one in our family right now that is 1 1/2years old and is almost identical to my daughters growth chart! They are just petite little girls!

K.,
I have a 10 1/2 month old little girl that is only 15 lbs. and 27 in. long, very small. I get comments all the time about her size. As long as she is health, eating well, and hitting her milestones you have nothing worry about. If she was born small she will need extra time to catch up. No worries!

My second daughter sounds very much like your daughter. She has always hovered around the 10th-20th percentile in height and weight. She is now almost two and weighs about 24 lbs. She also doesn't have much hair, so people assume she's much younger than she is. All I can tell you is she is very healthy and normal, just small. I just tell people "She's my little bit!"

As far as walking...anywhere from 9 months to 16 months is considered normal. My older daughter didn't walk until she was 13 1/2 months old. My younger daughter was nearly 16 months old before she began walking.

Feed her healthy foods and give her plenty of opportunities to practice new skills and ignore the negative comments!
hth

I completely understand! My daughter is almost 22 months and weighs 22lbs and is only 31 and a half inches tall. She had pretty much the same measurements as your daughter at her one year check-up. Most of her wardrobe consists of 12 month clothes- we've just now started to explore some 18 month stuff but most is too long/big. When asked by strangers how old she is, we always get surprised looks and comments on how small she is. Friends and family members often comment on how petite she is and it used to really worry me too. For a while, she was not behind but taking longer to tackle physical development skills as well and it really concerned us, but like you, our doctor would always reassure us that everything was fine. However, in the last few months she has made some huge gains and now you'd never know we used to worry. So, I finally had to start looking at things differently. When we get comments now I try to shoot back with how lucky she is to be so petite and that later in life she'll be so grateful! Plus, I try to point out all she can do despite her small size. This usually puts a new light on things for whoever is asking and now we get lots of comments on how fast she can walk/run with such short legs. I know this didn't really give much advice, but just wanted you to know that we know how you feel!

Hi K., My name is S. and although I am not a new mom I a new grandmom to a 15 month old. Every child progresses at their own rate. My son did not start walking until he was 13 months old and didn't get teeth until 15 months. He just didn't want to walk. My daughter cut teeth earlier but didn't walk until after she was a year. My grandbaby had 8 teeth at 5 months old and started walking at 9 months. She is also small, she is 15 months now and weighs 20 pounds. She's just tiny. So I guess what I am trying to say is just let it roll off the back of your neck and don't worry about what anyone has to say. She's your baby and you are raising her, you know she is healthy and so does the doctor so just let the other opinions be their's and don't let it bother you.

I can relate because I have the exact opposite problem. My baby girl is really heavy! She also crawled late and walked late (11 months and 16 months). I can't go anywhere without someone making a comment on how fat she is. It drives me crazy. But, like your daughter, the doctor says she is fine and very healthy. Kids develop at much different rates and your doctor would know if there is a problem. My advice would be just to smile and repeat, that the doctor says she is doing great and then change the conversation or walk away. This is mt third baby and the third time I've dealt with this issue. It'll resolve itself in time. Hang in there!!

My daughter was also very small and never talked till she was three, everyone said that there was something wrong with her.
She is now 17 and very smart. She is still thin but very tall. Just listen to family members but dont take what they say to heart. You have a mothers instinct that will tell you what to listen to and what you need to do. Always go by your instinct. I never thought for a minuet that there was something wrong with my daughter and she turned out just fine.

I was extremely small and my own mother couldn't leave it alone. On the other hand, my brother's son was slow at certain things, and my mother couldn't leave that alone either. It turned out that there was nothing wrong with me, and something wrong with my nephew that even his pediatrician didn't catch.

I guess I would say that, if you have any doubt at all, you might want to schedule a second opinion with a pediatric endocrynologist (that's what my mother did with me and then she relaxed). That way you can tell family and friends, "I've taken her to a pediatric specialist, who told me there's nothing to worry about."

Here's one more reason why you might want to get a second opinion. There was a girl in my younger daughter's class who was so thin, she looked malnourished from a very young age (preK thru 3rd). For years, many of the other mothers were either convinced that the mother was starving the child, or at least worried over this kid. Even given my own experience as a child, I admit to trying to test the limits of this girl's hunger when she came over to play. Did she act like a hunger-struck child? At some level, you couldn't blame these women. Our maternal instincts bother us when we see a seriously skinny child. The mom never talked about this girl's weight, and bristled when anyone brought it up. I can understand that too. Finally one of the mothers actually turned this woman into Child Protective Services. That situation was probably the mom's worse nightmare. It took a long time for the woman to work through the red tape, etc, and come out the other side. It was completely disruptive to her life and her family, and no doubt frightening to go through. Had this mom been more open and less defensive, the other mothers might have stopped worrying. Or, had she talked to a specialist, she might have been able to call on that person to get her out of the CPS problem a lot more quickly. In hindsight, I really felt sorry for her.

I am 29 and the mother of 4 girls, all of whom have been on the 25% or below in weight or height at times. My first walked at 10 mo., the 2nd at 13, and the 3rd at 11 mo./1 yr. Whenever someone says something, smile and don't pay attention. As long as she hasn't stopped growing and learning, she'll do it at her own pace. That's just how God made her. Don't worry :)

She doesn't sound like she is behind to me. She sounds like she is just taking her own time. The guidelines are not etched in stone. They are exactly what they are called, guidelines. Children develop at their own rates. I have an 8 month old in the daycare that is pulling up and really seems ahead of the game. But a year from now she'll probably be right with all the other babies her age. It will all level out in the end. Tell them to take a child development class or shut up.

Suzi

My mother used to tell the best stories about me when I was a baby and how everyone in my family used to think I was going to be a midget and that is not a bad thing. My point is, I was very short and tiny and remained so for many years. But I began to grow and became an average sized woman for a few years anyway. To look at me now you would never suspect the kind of stories, looks and adventures I had as a "little person". Let your family talk. It is only from love and concern that they make their expressions. With or without their chatter, you daughter will grow into the woman that she is meant to become.

My daughter was also very small and a very late walker (15 mos). As long as the doctors have told you that she is healthy just know that everyone develops at different rates. She will get there.

Just tell your family to leave her alone!!! I have a three year old daughter and a 6 year old son who are just about the same size!!! My three year old is a 28 week preemie who weighed 3 lbs who now weighs 30 lbs and my six year old is 32 week preemie who weighed 7lbs who now weighs 34 lbs so go figure... they are both healthy!!! they are just small for their ages. Amy was behind when she was a yr but she caught up and she is doing fine now, give her some time and Ill bet that she will be doing fine in a little while. Dont freak out just yet. All that Amy did at 1 yr was "Army Crawl" and now I can not keep up with her so give her some time.

My daughter is also very small for her age. At her one year check up she weighed 18 lbs 2oz and at her two year check up only weighed 19 lbs 9 oz. She is really small for her age, but the doctor said she is very healthy and not to worry. She is now almost five years old, is still very small, but is very healthy. As long as your doctor is not concerned just remember that as grown-ups come in all shapes and sizes, so do children!! Children also develop at different rates. Just because she isn't walking doesn't mean she is delayed. I know several children that didn't walk until after 15 months, and are not delayed at all. Just remind your family that she may not be walking yet, but stress the things that she can do.

All three of my boys were about her size at a year. My oldest was tested for everything out there and I refuse to have any more tests run. My husband is 5'8" and I'm 5'3". My Dad is 5'7". We both have taller family members, but have decided the short genes took over with our boys. They are healthy, they are happy and they are in the 5th and 10th percentiles. But there is nothing physically wrong with them.

That said, as long as your daughter continues to grow and progress she should be fine. But if she stops growing or if she's not reaching important milestones I would discuss it with your doctor.

If your family members are troubled, just let them know that your Doctor is aware of where she's at and you are keeping a close eye on the situation in case any problems arise.

Say "We've discussed this with her doctor and he/she assured us that there is no need for concern." Repeat as needed.

Tell your family just what she is "perfect"!!! and what the doctor told you. My daughter is almost 2 1/2 and when she was 1 yr old she weighed in at 17lbs...at 18mos she was 19lbs 1oz and at her 2 year appt she was 24 lbs. Always in the 5th percentile until she hit 2. Every child grows differently and besides GREAT things come in small packages. I had the same problem, everyone telling me that my girl was soo tiny...she was and still is, but the Dr. says she is healthy and that is all that matters to me! Hope this helps a little.

Tell your relatives you appreciate their concern for your daughter's well being. Assure them that your doctor is monitoring her growth and development, and so far the doctor has found nothing significantly wrong.

Tell the family you will let them know if something develops and if their assistance will be needed. In the mean time, encourage them (and yourself) to just relax and enjoy the little miracle that is your daughter.

Our daughter is the same way. She is 27 months and only weighs 28 pounds and I believe is 37 inches. As long as she's happy and the doctor is not concerned I wouldn't worry. People used to say to us things like that, the doctor told us to tell them that too many babies/toddlers are overwight and our baby is just fine. Also,babies sit up and walk at different times, who's to say what is right and wrong. Also, I did tell family and friends about this website and that people have the same kinds of issues and their kids turned out just fine. People can be sooo nosey!!!! It's ashame we have to explain ourselves. Hope this helps!!!

My 6 year old son is and always has been tiny. He is 6, 38 inches tall and 34.5 lbs. Tiniest kid in school, he didn't walk until he was 14 months old, this was due to ear problems, but like your daughter, he excelled in other areas. I have taken him to Child Find, a free screening that measures thier milestone advancements, the Health Department did a health screen on him and my family doctor has done various tests with him. My family is very supportive, fortunately. But I do deal with other people commenting on his size and such. I've learn to grow a tough skin regarding this, I just laugh and tell people that powerful things come in small packages. If your daughter is developing, continuing to learn and grow, even at a slow pace, then there shouldn't be a problem, especially if you doctor isn't concerned. Some children are just small statured. The health department told me that as long as my son's hieght and wieght are in line with each other, he is fine, they place him in the short stature column, which means that he is simply small, but proportionate. Best advise I can give is to tell them there is nothing physically or developmentally wrong with your daughter, that the doctor sees no cause for concern and to lay off. Sounds cruel, but sometimes you have to draw a line with family. As I said most of my family is very understanding and doesn't even mention my sons size, he is already developing a small complex being so small, so we are very careful about what we say to him. Remind your family also that every child is different and that no one should compare one child to another.