My daughter will be entering Kindergarten this fall. She's always been the kind of girl that only likes to play with one child at a time. If the friend she is playing with wants to play with other kids, my daughter will not follow and enter the group, but will look sad and go off on her own. She has also commented to me recently, "noone wants to play with me". It breaks my heart. I encourage her to go introduce herself and try to play with the other kids, but I think she lacks the confidence and is afraid of rejection, which has happened ("you can't play with us"). Any suggestions?
Get her involved in a team activity or sport. Soccer comes to mind. Will help her get used to group dynamics. Also, let her know other girls feel the same way and she should befriend anyone who looks sad or lonely. I've learned this too late in my own life. Becoming the "befriender" really helps--she just needs to realize she's helping other girls to not be sad. Plus, she'll likely make friends for life. Blessings!
My son was similar. He would watch the other kids and always play by himself but be on the fringe where he could watch what was going on...By the time he was halfway through the school, I went in to visit and saw my shy little boy playing with the rowdiest group of boys and enjoying himself immensly.
The key is not to push...let her watch and encourage her to be herself. It's possible that the dynamics of large groups is overwhelming to her senses at this point versus a one on one setting where she can focus her attentions. When she sees all the fun the kids have in groups and is encouraged to participate in ORGANIZED group activities with the teacher, you may see your little wall flower open up...
Good Luck!!! ;-)
Some people (kids) are just more "loners" than others and prefer smaller, more intimate settings. I have a son like that and since a toddler he has always been that way. I do think it is a good idea to encourage her to be a friend if she wants a friend. And, if those kids don't want to play w/her then they aren't really friends after all. Keep encouraging her and teaching her how to be a friend and she will find a friend(s) that accepts her for who she is.
Blessings,
M.
http://www.4MyChildrenSake.com
I like the idea of a team sport or other team activity. It's not so easy to tell at this age, but I am a person who avoids groups of people, especially if I don't know them well. It's hard for me because I am very sensitive to other people's thoughts and feelings, and it took a long time for me to get a handle on that. I didn't even realize what it was at that age, but now I can tell that it is information overload, with people and "stuff". I can get overwhelmed in the mall and at concerts.
I'm not saying that this is your daughter's issue. I'm just saying that while she certainly needs to learn how to relate to people, even in group settings, maybe you could start with teaching her how to be content (even happy) on her own. That foundation will give her more confidence to relate in groups. If she shines as a kid who doesn't mind playing alone....
Tell her to smile and others will smile back and want to be her friend. Also let her know that the other kids feel like she does as well.
Good luck my son went to Kinder last year. I'm bracing myself for 1st grade!!!!
My daughter is the same way. It is difficult because we want our children to have a lot of friends and enjoy school, but this is a skill many children have to learn. Ask the teacher to help with this issue. She can pair your daughter with other kids during classtime, and actively encourage play during play time. Your daughter will find her place. Reassure her that she is an amazing person, and teach her to trust in herself.
