My Dad Blocked Me from Facebook Timeline..

Are you sure his wife (step mother) didn't block you? If there is that contention between you and her, I wouldn't be surprised if she saw you on your dad's friend list and took it upon herself to get into his FB (people leave them wide open all the time) and block you?

If your relationship with your dad isn't a healthy one, it might just be best to cut your losses and move on. If you find yourself in a situation where you must talk to him, like your situation at Christmas, then talk to him casually, tell him how you have been, ask how he has been, and leave it very casual. Like you would an old acquaintance you haven't seen since high school. If he wants there to be more of a relationship, he will seek it out. If he doesn't, then at least you didn't get yourself so involved again only to be disappointed AGAIN.

If you haven't seen a therapist about this, I think other's recommendations of seeing on is not a bad idea. They can help you really talk things through and give you tools to help you cope with him in the future.
Good luck!

Hug to you.

I hate to say this, because I'm a step mom so I try not to throw another one under the bus. Could your step mother have blocked you on your dad's account without his knowledge? If I understand it correctly, he wouldn't necessarily know, since he can probably see you just fine.

I agree with others: get thee to a good therapist!

Another hug...

Therapy. Go and get some help.

You are a grown woman. Your father is who he is and will probably never change into the father you wish he would be.

Just like you will never change unless you seek guidance.

You deserve to be happy. The best way to be happy s to love yourself and not seek the approval and attention of others.

I know this, because I too have been where you are. I know it hurts you to your soul, but there is help.

I guess I'm not understanding why you care?

You don't get along with him. You're stronger without him in your life. You hate his wife.
Why do you care - at all - about anything related to him with Facebook?

Just let it go.
Letting it get to you just perpetuates the cycle.

Some people are so toxic, we should not have them in our lives, and this includes blood family. Blood does NOT make a person family, respect and love do. I live 1000 miles away from my mother (egg-doner). I speak with her maybe 5 times a year. I visit her on my way back to the airport when I am in that part of the country. I will never leave my son alone with her. It took her years to destroy our relationship with her selfishness, lack of responsibility and extremely bad choices. My husband supports me 100%. My older sis and MIL are my mothers-by-choice. It hurts sometimes and only a little bit - a hell of a lot less than the relationship did.

Don't have a toxic relationship because you think or others think you "should". Your immediate family (spouse/kids) are your primary concern, and your mental health is important. Counseling helped me come to terms with the challenge of disconnecting. Good luck!

Your problem is not Facebook. You know - and have stated - that your problem is with your father over many years. He chose his wife over you, he blames you for her suicide attempt (WHAT???) and he does not maintain contact with you. You say you want to move on and that you do better when he is out of your life, yet still you feel like a vulnerable child when he does stuff. You haven't resolved your feelings about him and in some ways your relationship is still based on you being a child. I'd forget about Facebook for now, and get some sessions with a counselor to sort this stuff out and figure out what you're going to do. You can't change him - you can only change how you react to him and how you move forward. Good luck. This is not easy but it's better for you to come to an adult understanding of this relationship (such as it is) and what you want.

I think that you need to accept that your dad isn't capable of being the dad you need him to be and seek support from other people. You might also consider counseling to deal with it and find a way to have a relationship with him within healthy boundaries. And in general, don't feed too much into social media like FB.

It sounds like it is time to move on, as hard as it is to do. Your dad added you on FB as a front for others to see. No different than 2 pink flamingo's and a wooden bench in the front yard of an empty house. In the housing industry, they call it staging.

Who knows what his problem is, unless he shares. Maybe he has childhood baggage. Maybe you look too much like your mother. Maybe you have your mother's personality. If he can't be big enough to share, you will never know. You have to move on and take care of you.

You ask if you are being crazy. Yes. He makes you this way. He might not be toxic to anyone else but he is poison to your well being. Stop playing with poison. Don't request more than he is prepared to give. Boundaries are for your mental health and well being, not a punishment for him.

I recognize this pattern of behavior. My take is this: Your stepmother has a personality disorder (prob BPD) and your F is codependent or Narsasistic. The suicide atempt and the separation of family is a classic sign. It's a symbiotic relationship, they both get some kind of fulfillment out of it.

This is not your fault and it's certainly not fair. A lot of kids with this in their family end up with NC (no contact) or LC (Low contact) with their families.
Look at BPDfamily.com. Check the symptoms but mostly check out the lessons on boundaries. Do what's good for you.

I think the main thing is that it's time to stop expecting anything from your Dad. He probably wants some kind of relationship with you but his wife makes it so hard he chickens out. All in all he is a big boy and he makes his own decisions. So what he says and does he is responsible for. My guess is he cares for you, but he cannot offer you what you want. He isn't who you want him to be. But he is still your Dad.

I'd suggest you except dear old dad the way he is. It isn't exactly what you want but stop fighting him and just maintain what he can offer, within your comfort zone. Let the facebook thing go. That probably has to do with the wife.
Make contact with your Dad once in awhile to check in, but try not to compare yourself to your siblings and their relationship with Dad. It is hard, but the sooner you realize Dad is doing the best he can you will realize YOU are the only person you are responsible for and possibly you can let go of all that hurt.

As an adult your parents are responsibile to maintain a good relationship with their chidren. I don't care if it's bio parents or step parents. Your dad and step mom have issues and for what ever reason do not or can not get past them to have a good relationship with you.

You need to seek out counseling to learn how to deal with them and raise your own self esteem. You need to find the inner strength to understand that they are damaged emotionally and it's not your fault.

L.,

Please go talk to someone about your issues with your father. He has very obviously failed you before-- repeatedly--and yet, you still have the expectations one might have in a friendly, functional relationship with a parent.

First, if you are really wanting to mend things with your dad, I would let the timeline go. Try to remember-- he *chose* your stepmom a long, long time ago and has to live with her. You don't have to deal with this very manipulative woman, but he does. So, do not expect him to act in a normal fatherly way toward you because he hasn't and doesn't.

I, too, was very angry with my father for a long time about some things. Talking to someone about my feelings, my sense of loss due to his choices, and grieving that loss with support were all very helpful. Accepting that he was not going to be the person I wanted him to be also meant that we were free to have a different sort of relationship-- one that also allowed *me* to go forward, making better decisions in how much I wanted to invest in him. This also freed me up more to being the person I wanted to be. I stopped waiting for his approval, accepted that this wasn't likely going to happen (if it did, it would be a happy surprise--- but I wasn't waiting for it any more), and lived my life. It's so much better.

The timeline is really a small, tiny drop in a big bucket of disappointment for you. Find some help and stop carrying that burden of a bucket around. :) (and I DO know it hurts and it's hard. hugs.)

This isn't about facebook, this is about an entire relationship that has been hurting you off/on since day 1. Can you handle that? If this problem is resolved, will there be another one? And another?

See if he calls you to resolve the issue. If not, delete him and move on, content that you are stronger without him in your life.

I don't think you really like this man. If you weren't related to him, you wouldn't like him, would you? So why do you want him as a Facebook friend? Do you think it will change him? It won't. (Sigh.) Sometimes people do change, but most likely it isn't Facebook that does it.

I don't know if you need to understand your father's actions. Let them be HIS problem, not yours. I have no idea, of course, if he blocked you on purpose (or by accident - I've blocked by accident) or if FB is acting up again, but if he has done the deed, that's sad for him, because *he's* missing out on something good. You don't need to rescue him or try to impress him in any way. You have a family (I assume) and lots of great things to occupy your time and your attention. If you can laugh the whole thing off as "crazy dad," that might help, but if you can't, just turn away from it.

It's a shame when fathers aren't really fathers, but that usually isn't the fault of the children. Please go back to focusing on the positive things in your life, and don't permit this particular scenario to take up valuable space in your head.

L.:

Life is too short to hate people.

You need a counselor or therapist. You have a lot on your plate. You have had a lot of changes in your life this past year. You are totally stressing over your new baby and something she most likely (chances are REALLY LOW) she does NOT have....and making a mountain out of a mole hill here.

Did you stop to think that with the toxicity of the relationship you have with your step mother that SHE blocked you??? It could be TOTALLY possible that your father is NOT lying to you.

If you do better without your father in your life, as hard as it may be - cut him out of your life. Sometimes, there are toxic people in your life that you MUST let go of in order to survive.

If it were me? I would let it go. You are making a HUGE deal over something sooo small that you NEED to let go.

Please seek a professional therapist to help you deal with your childhood issues. You are tangling yourself up in sooo much stuff that you are going to make yourself crazy with all that you have. LET IT GO.

You need to find how to better manage your triggers - and your dad and family is one of those triggers. Please, please, please...I urge you to seek out a therapist!!!

GOOD LUCK!!

Unfriend him and work on yourself and the healing that needs to happen from your childhood. Only then will you be able to attempt at a relationship with him. But you aren't ready right now. You have to grow up into your own relationship and get through the past before you can have him in your life again. If he asks, tell him you aren't ready to deal with him yet.

He is not going to change. So if you want to have a different relationship, you have to do the changing and growing. You are an adult woman and he has no power over you anymore. Get into counseling---it can help~

First, I understand the feeling of being a vulerable little girl around your absentee father, you are not alone.

Second, we invest WAY too much in Facebook - I will never have one.

Third, if your relationship is toxic then end it.

He might actually mean it when he says that it's too hard for him -- I'm older too, and I avoid technology because it overwhelms me, so I know how that feels.

See if he calls you and has you walk him through it, like he said he would. If he doesn't, then you can make the decision whether to block him or not.

It's normal to feel vulnerable about this. You want your dad to be a dad, and so far he's failed miserably. If he doesn't take this opportunity to finally step up to the plate, try to let it go and realize that it has nothing to do with you, it's just that he's weak and selfish, and was never good dad material.

Give him a couple of weeks to prove himself. Good luck.

Unfriend him and move on.

Sorry :(

You have this image in your head of what sort of father you want him to be.
And he just isn't and will never be that person.
You want to know why he can't do this for you - there's no answer - he just isn't and doesn't want to be.
You desire his approval and you need to get over that.
You're all grown up now with a child of your own.
If you can think him as a stranger off the street that you share news with every so often, then sure - have some limited contact with him every few years.
If you can't think of him that way then do yourself a favor and break it off now and never communicate with him again - consider him dead.
You're the only one who gets hurt by his disregard for you and you can stop it.
He doesn't care one way or the other.

I understand how you feel. I haven't spoken to my father in over 10 years. I think you should just unfreind him on facebook and no try to be a part of his life. if he eventually comes around and seeks you out, decide then if it is worth it. May I ask how old you are? Because sometimes, it is harder to deal with exstranged family when we are younger. I realize you are fighting inside about this decision. Advise helps, but when it comes right down to it, you have to decide for yourself. Here are some questions to ask yourself to help you decide..... 1. Do I like myself when my Dad is "talking" to me? 2. How does he affect my life, positives and negatives? 3. Will my life be better with or without him?
Hope you get it all straightened out. I am sorry you are going through this.

You did the right thing by un-friending him. My father/step-mother are exactly like yours- your story sounds so familiar. Although, I completely cut ties with my father 11 years ago after he didn't show up to my wedding. It has been very healing in many ways. I realized through all of that you can love someone, but not necessarily like them at all. He's your father and part of you will always love him. But he's not the person you wish him to be and never will be. Once that sinks in and you truly accept that can you heal and move on.
You have a beautiful baby and what sounds like a good life. Treasure that and don't sweat those you bring you down, no matter who they are. Take care.

This sounds like way too much drama.

If I were you, I'd have a frank conversation with him. Why were you thrown on the phone with him? Did he ask to speak with you? He did friend request you. Maybe he's trying to reach out. Find out what his intentions are. If he's trying to rebuild what he's messed up, give him that opportunity. If he's not, then delete him and move on.

When you "friend" people it does give you the opportunity to add them to a group. Maybe he added you to a group that has limited access. Maybe he doesn't even realize that group has limited access. Maybe he didn't realize he even put you in that group. I guess, give him the benefit of the doubt. I would just tell him, "I don't see the point of being FB friends if you're going to have full access to my page, but I have limited access to yours; that's not a mutual relationship, that's YOU stalking ME." And, tell him, if he's not willing to fix, you'll just delete him.

Good luck.

Therapy
Therapy
Therapy

We cannot pick our parents - they are an accident of biology. But we can decide how we let them effect our lives.

Therapy

Oh, and un-friend the man from FB.

As for the facebook postings, he probably had his posting set to 'Family', and when he friended you, forgot to add you to the 'family' group. This has happened to family that I have friended several times. It will sometimes be a month after before I realize they aren't in the subgroup.

As hurt as you are, from what you've written, it all probably is for the best. You yourself say that you feel stronger when you are not in contact with him. As a new mom, you need all the strength and confidence you can get. If you want him to be up to date on your baby's life, send him notes and pictures through the mail, the old fashioned way. That way, you are still controlling the relationship.

Delete him, get some therapy, and focus on your new baby!

He is incapable of being what you want him to be, and will never give you what you need.

I do not have a Facebook account but from what I hear and see people live and die by them. Forget Facebook, focus on reality.

Forgive me, if I get this wrong, but you have not spoke with him in 3 years. On Christmas you got 'put on the phone' and things were strained or did not live up to your expectations?

If you want a relationship with him, don't try to do it through Facebook and don't live and die by his Facebook posts. I'm not sure how close you live but take the relationship offline and either meet face to face or over the phone. Convey to him that you want a relationship with him. Tell him what your expectations are but also be willing to make compromises.

Could you try counseling through your church or one that provides help on a slidng scale?