My Crazy Caveman

Please keep him at the table with food. Kids choke and it's quick. I never let the kids up from the table and I still had to pick one up a couple of times and shake him upside down. If he'd have been running around he'd have sat down and died. Choking is completely silent.

Yep, he sounds like a very, typical toddler!

Don't fight it. It's not worth your energy or effort or frustration. If he wants to nurse, great. If not, no biggy. He's at an age where it should be his choice. If he wants you to feed him, feed him. He's not going to want you to do this for much longer. He will reach the point where he wants to do it himself. Right now, it's ok for him to want you to do it for him.

Grazing is perfectly ok and very, very common at his age. Let him graze. You can keep all food in the kitchen or dining room or something and still not put him in a high chair with a try. Leave it on the table and let him take a bite here and there. If he wants to eat at the table with you, great! Lots of kids like to sit in their high chair but at the table (without their own tray). We didn't ever use a high chair. We only used a booster seat at the table. So much easier!

Pick your battles. It's good that he's active and on the move. Your job is to keep him safe and encourage him to keep exploring his world. Learn how to make his world safe rather than focusing on limiting his world.

I breasted mine till 11 months tops so I don't know how it works beyond that. By the time I was weaning them it was mostly just at bedtime and kind of a comfort thing as opposed to food, so my thinking would be if you want him to really be hungry and eat (be hungry enough to sit down and have a proper meal) then make sure you don't nurse or offer drinks close to meal times. That's what I did when I was trying to get mine more on meal times with family.

My other thought was, if he's wanting to not sit for long, don't force the issue. Ours had to start the meal with us, but like you - we had a booster seat that could be brought to the table and they'd start there - and then once they were done, I'd let them down and the rest of us sat and enjoyed our meal in peace. Sometimes I fed the little ones first while we prepared our evening meal. I often fed them leftovers from last night's meal (my sister recommended that - and she had a big brood) and that worked very well. They were good and hungry when we got home from work - then we'd eat later and it was relaxed. They'd come and join us for a bit of ours, but that rush when they were ravenous was taken care of.

I had a little toddler table in our kitchen where they could sit and nibble. They didn't always have to be at the big table. Some nights it wasn't worth the fight. Mine all learned how to sit nicely and have manners. I didn't battle over it.

But I definitely remember it going over more easily if they were hungry. If they were grazing/snacking/drinking all day - it wasn't as easy. There has to be some time in between so that they they work up an appetite. You don't want them so hungry as to be cranky but it helps if they are hungry for a meal.

It's really important to have age appropriate expectations. Right now some of your thoughts are great - eating with utensils, sitting politely at the table, no throwing food. The problem is that some of them are simply not realistic for his age.

It's ok that he's not using utensils. That is really asking a lot of a kid who isn't even 2 yet. That doesn't mean that there aren't kids his age who can do it. But the vast majority simply aren't there yet. Since my kids both insisted on feeding themselves at this age, I stuck with lots of finger foods or at least food than could be eaten with their fingers (including rice and cooked veggies).

It's great to teach him to sit at the table, but know that he's not going to be able to sit there for too long. He has a very short attention span, so if he's ready to get down after a few minutes, just let him. If he comes back and wants to eat, that's fine, too. But he's not going to be ok with sitting there for 15 or 20 minutes. That's just too long for his age.

I know some people will say if he throws food to tell him no and meal time is over. The truth is, if he's throwing food, he's telling you that he's done (not the other way around). If he's throwing food, he's done eating and he wants to get down. So let him. This is not the time to teach him not to throw food. He's not even 2. Teach him when he's older. Don't make him sit there and make him and you and everyone else miserable. Let him go.

Let him have positive experiences with food. There can be boundaries, but let your expectations be closer in line with what is realistic for his age. Some of your expectations are simply unnecessary. You have to consider what is really important.

He sounds like any other toddler. Can't or won't sit still.

Feed him yourself. Toddlers really don't get manual dexterity until they are 2 and sometimes older.

Pick your battles. Why fight over this? Set the rules and follow through. If you want him to continue to throw food? Allow him to continue eating. If not? remove him from the situation. Put him in his play pen or crib. And do it EVERY TIME he throws food.

Push the high chair up to the table. It makes sense. Why fight over that?

I think you're doing some things just great - variety of foods, pushing the high chair up to the table if he doesn't like the tray (which actually includes him more when you're all eating), and nursing if you both still enjoy it.

I agree that he cannot steal food from other plates, and he can't run around when he's eating. It's not just about crumbs - it's about safety and a bit of decorum. I think it's unrealistic to expect most kids this age to effectively use utensils, and that's sometimes when the inefficient eating comes into plate as well as the frustration of throwing food. So do continue to feed him at least some of the food items while allowing him to use his hands for finger foods. You can cut up a wide variety of foods into bite sized pieces and let him enjoy them, while you feed him things with a spoon. Do you use a sectioned plate to keep things from sliding all over? Some people use an ice cube tray while others think that gives the kids license to toss many sections of food! However, it's very easy to put a tiny spoon in a "cube" of squash, yogurt, hummus or mashed sweet potatoes.

Keep a wet cloth nearby and wipe his hands and his face when he's done. That means when he seems to be done eating, not when his plate is cleared. Just say, "All done? Okay, you may be excused from the table."

Grazing is fine for little ones - they need probably 6 servings per day, maybe 5 with nursing. So expect that. It's not just patience - their tummies aren't that big. If you have things cut up or set aside in small serving sizes, it's easy to serve them up when needed without stopping what you're doing to start the wash/peel/chop/serve cycle. I used to make up nutrient-laden French toast and freeze slices between layers of wax paper, make my own healthy chicken nuggets, and oven-roasted veggies - all great finger foods. Sometimes kids focus better if they can dip foods - pita bits in hummus, al dente pasta (textured for better gripping) in marinara, lightly steamed carrots or tiny broccoli florets in ranch dressing.

Mostly, keep things at the table totally fun (even with rules/manners) - enjoyable conversation or even some possible table toys so that it's a desirable place to be.

Good luck!

That is normal I think for a lot of kids. We tried to not let our youngest do that but we figured out it was so much easier. He didn't want to be strapped in. (But I wouldn't want to be either) We would make him eat what he was going to eat at the table but when he was done he got down and went to play then would come back for a few more bites. It is better for them not to have big meals or be forced to eat when they are not hungry. If you are still nursing that will take some of his appetite away.

the few times my kids threw food? We took their plates away and removed them from the table. Told them that behavior is NOT acceptable and will NOT be tolerated. At his age? he KNOWS good/bad and is testing your boundaries.

You need to make the decision at what age will you let him self-feed.

I have NO PROBLEM with a hair chair being pushed up to the table. He wants to be active and participate in the family and not be an outsider. I get it.

!7 month olds don't have great manual dexterity.
If feeding him gets the food into him and keeps it from going everywhere else - then feed him.
Stealing food from others plates isn't a good habit to get into.
Our son would only eat things if it came off my plate (he wouldn't take anything from anyone else not even Dad) - so I just worked with that for awhile.
He didn't like his high chair either - but he worked out great sitting on my lap.

If he throws anything then take the food away and put him down - it means mealtime is over.

I think this age is just so full of exploring and surprises!!! He doesn't want to stop the fun to eat!! I wouldn't continue to feed him yourself too much longer.....make him do it because he can (with his hands). My cousin fork/spoon fed her son until he was like 6. It was nuts!!!! Don't fall into that trap. How bout you put on a favorite show/movie of his while he has breakfast & lunch maybe it will hold his attention long enough to finish what's on his plate/tray?! As for dinner time I would try to get him in the habit of eating with the family. Make it a special family time together! Or set a timer and tell him when the bell rings he can be done and start 5 min and keeping adding a few more minutes each few days! It will be fun for him and he won't feel like he's doing anything wrong/bad. This is such a great age & I miss it so much! Enjoy it!!!