My Baby 3 Month Old Won't Take a Bottle and I Have to Go Back to Work
Updated on
February 09, 2008
E.O.
asks from
Sacramento, CA
42
answers
I have been breastfeeding only for the past 3 months and I have to go back to work on the 5th of Feb. but my son won't take a bottle, even though it is my breastmilk, HELP!
Well, thank you to everyone. We found that the playtex nurser with the drop ins worked best, as did with my daughter 8 years ago. The BIG problem was that I wasn't getting the breastmilk warm enough. He likes it real warm, he even let me be the one giving him the bottle as long as it was warm enough. We will see the outcome tomorrow night though because that is the big night for me to return to work. Thank you all again for the many responses and all the great advise! E.
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S.W.
answers from
Clarksville
on
There is a way for you to do this. If you give you son a binky (pasifyer) find a nipple that is like the shape of it. If you do give him one then it will have to be trial and error for witch type he will take. I have 2 boys and I have found the one most like the mothers nipple is the brand called Soothie. They make binkies and bottles. You can find them at walmart. They cost a little more then the rest but in my view the work.
S. W
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E.C.
answers from
Sacramento
on
Sounds crazy, but I would put a tiny dab of frosting on the end of my daughter's bottle. She would suck the frosting off and then find it was breastmilk and began to be okay with the bottle. Others might disagree on giving a three month old frosting, but it was only a small dab. Up to you.
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K.E.
answers from
San Francisco
on
I had a daughter who would not take a bottle either, so I know how frustrating this is! Try different types of nipples on the bottle. He might take one that is different than you have used before; he may also take something eventually, when he is hungry and when it is from someone else. He KNOWS you are the one with the breast milk, so he will resist taking a bottle when you are offering it to him.
I wish you the best of luck.
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J.J.
answers from
San Francisco
on
hello E.. You've been given some great advice here & I hope something works out for you soon.
My son never took a bottle. He went from breast to Rubbermaid juice box. You have to squeeze the plastic bottle to get milk, etc up the straw. A nurse told us to give a squeze 7 when he gets a mouthful, he'll swallow & then give a 2nd right after. Their little mouths learn from the squirt, mouthful & swallowing that sucking comes natural after that.
It worked for my little guy. Hope it works for you too.
J.
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D.V.
answers from
San Francisco
on
Just wanted to clarify...Is this the first time you have offered a bottle. Sometimes if they are not introduced to a bottle between 3-6 weeks of age they can have difficulty "learning" to use a bottle. My daughter was exclusively breastfed but we also offered a bottle occasionally. We also liked the Playtex Natural Latch nipples and bottles.
D.
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T.S.
answers from
Sacramento
on
I had the same issue with my son. I went back to work when he was 8 weeks old. At 7 weeks he was not taking a bottle and I was very worried.
Despite what all the books and other mom's said, he ended up taking a bottle FROM ME first. For the first couple of times, I had to pump directly into the bottle, then screw on the nipple, hold him and feed him. He seemed to need the temp to be fresh from the breast. After a day or so I was able to get him started then hand him (already on the bottle) to my husband to finish.
After that it was smooth sailing.
A note about nipples: Until he as almost a year, the only one's he would take were the Platex Nurser (drop in bottles) with a latex nipple. I know most of the new nipples are silicon, so it takes some searching, but the old style latex is much more "skin like" and may do the trick.
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S.B.
answers from
Sacramento
on
Keep trying. My son did the same things and there was a lot of crying, but he changed his mind when he was hungry enough. It took a couple of uncomfortable hours while my mom was watching him.
Smiles,
S.
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S.J.
answers from
San Francisco
on
When we had to transition our son to a bottle -- about the same age as your child, we did it by the other parent (not the birth mom) feeding the bottle in a different room and different chair from the ones in which he was used to being fed. Also the birth mom was not home at the time. The parent feeding the baby the bottle has to believe 100% that s/he, the parent and the baby, can do this. Pour that confidence and love into the baby as he adjusts to the bottle. He may not like it at first, but he will pick up whether or not this is a "must do" and "you can do this" from the parent holding him.
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M.P.
answers from
San Francisco
on
try the adiri natural nurser bottle available @ whole foods
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L.D.
answers from
San Francisco
on
My daughter is now 6 y.o. She NEVER took a bottle. I nursed her for 14 mos, went back to work after 5mos. It is VERY frustrating. I pumped my milk and froze it for the babysitter, I bought every single bottle you can think of. She refused. She was SO stubborn. Her doctor said she will eat when she's hungry, she will not starve herself. I started her a little early on the rice cereal just for my own assurance, but I really don't think that was necessary. One thing she did drink from was a sippy cup, so maybe you can try that, but I don't think you have to worry. Your baby will be fine.
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A.B.
answers from
San Francisco
on
There's a very funny bottle that actually looks a lot like a breast -- it's the silliest looking thing you've ever seen, but it works for some childrne who won't take a bottle. I'm sure a lactation expert could help you track it down. Also, if you're not yet in touch with teh La Leche League, call them. Google them and get on the phone wiht someone in your area. They will have very practical, no-nonsense ideas - and they'll have MORE ideas than anyone else as far as what can work. If you happen to get a LLL leader who only offers you one approach, call someone else and keep asking. LLL has SO much accummulated knowledge. They have HEARD IT ALL!
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J.K.
answers from
Sacramento
on
Hi E.,
You didn't mention what type of bottle you use, but we had great success with the Playtex nurser bottles. You have to use the liners or drop-ins with them, but there's also the benefit of being able to push the milk to the top and lessen the amount of air the baby gets.
Your baby will probably not take a bottle from you, at least for a little while... Try having someone else give it to him and get out of the house when they do it. He'll learn that when dad or grandma or whomever feeds him he gets a bottle and when you feed him he gets you. Congratulations on successful breastfeeding!
Good luck!
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A.O.
answers from
San Francisco
on
I have a stubborn daughter who refused to drink milk out of a cup and refused to take water out of a bottle and various other schemes she came up with in her little mind. The best advice that I have for you: if the baby is hungry, he will eat. He might not like the bottle, but he will have to get used to it. You might even want to try to squeeze the nipple a little bit and rub it on his lips so that he gets the taste. Do that repeatedly so that he realizes there is milk in there. But if a baby is hungry enough, insticts will kick in and they will figure it out. Good luck with your wonderful little one!
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B.S.
answers from
Sacramento
on
First of all, you say your a mother of 3. What did you do for the other two when it came to weaning them off your breast? Try to remember your procedure, what worked, what didn't work. I'm sure there are other mothers that can give you advise as well but I'm at work and have to answer the phone. I hope this helps.
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P.M.
answers from
San Francisco
on
Hi E.,
My baby is now 7 months and I went through the same exact thing. My advice is just keep trying. I ended up buying a bottle that is much more like a mommy's breast. It's called adiri (http://www.adiri.com/) if you check out the website they'll show you where you can buy one. They are expensive but worth it if you can get your little one to take it. My son took it sometimes, but not always. The other thing my caretaker did is mix my milk in with rice cereal and fed my son a very watered down cereal with a spoon. We went through this for several months and finally at 6.5 months...my little one finally took the bottle. If your mom is around and she has a close relationship with the baby, have her hold your little one close and talk to him/her as she feeds the baby. This is what it finally took for us. Just don't give up hope and know that there are a lot of mommies that have gone through this and their little ones survived and thrived! My little one is quite the chunky monkey. :o)
Best of luck.
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E.L.
answers from
San Francisco
on
Hm...I've heard that if you don't introduce the bottle in the first 6 weeks, it can be a battle. well, babies have a strong survival instinct, so he'll eventually take a bottle if that's what is offered. different nipples/bottles might work. i've heard some babies love the adiri nurser, which is a breast shaped bottle. i think they have it at tiny tots in campbell.
my little brother refused a bottle at first. he'd starve himself until my mom came to get him. then he'd chow down and get everything within a few hours in the morning and evening. he did that until my mom just decided to wean him.
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M.P.
answers from
San Francisco
on
Why not stay home with your 3 month old? It will make a big difference to the baby, and you won't get this time back again, as you know from your older two. Where there's a will there's a way, even if it's not easy. Your baby will thank you!
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M.A.
answers from
San Francisco
on
try Caro syrup on the nipple of the bottleand if he starts taking it, make sure you feed him at least once every day from a bottle so he stays used to it. Hopefully you can pump enought to provide at least 1 bottle of your milk daily.
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D.M.
answers from
Modesto
on
I know this is going to sound mean...but if he's hungry enough, he'll take the bottle. Wait him out. He probably wont take it from you since he knows better, but when you're not around, i bet he will if he gets hungry enough. Dont worry, he wont starve. God gave us a strong desire to eat for a reason :)
I would start with having someone else squeeze the milk out of the bottle into his mouth so he realizes its the same thing.
Hope thats helpful!
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M.C.
answers from
San Francisco
on
Hello E.,
I went through the same thing! Nothing would work; I would leave the house while someone would try to feed her the bottle, I would try a sippy cup to see if she just didn't like the bottle, I even tried a dropper to see if she could feed that way! Nurses would tell me, "oh, she'll just know when she has to do it! When she is forced to to do it! She'll just know!" Eventually I had to go back to work as well and it was agonizing because she still wasn't taking the bottle! Sure enough, she knew she had to take it while I was gone and since that day it worked!
Don't get me wrong, I would get very angry when nurses would tell me that! I did not want to go back to work while my poor baby was suffering! Unfortunately, sometimes that is what has to happen to get the sweet things to do it!
I was lucky though; I only worked five hour shifts and on Fridays during lunch on my full day my husband would bring her in so I could breastfeed her!
ALso, we had to experiment with nipples; it turned out she would only take rubber nipples that were shaped at an odd angle; she would not drink from the straight nipples! So experiment with nipples! Because of my experience I refuse to buy nipples or bottles at baby showers because I ended up using very little of the nipples and bottles I got! Some babies are picky!
Good luck! It'll happen!
M. :)
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I.S.
answers from
San Francisco
on
Hi E.,
Are you the one trying to give your baby a bottle or is someone else trying? When my daughter refused to take a bottle because I was strictly breast feeding, I had someone else try and she would take it from them, but never from me. It's worth a shot.
I.
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M.V.
answers from
San Francisco
on
E.,
My son occasionally took the bottle when I fed him. But when I returned to work, he refused the bottle completely. I read on babycenter.com another mom was told by her pediatrician to stop nursing for 48-hours and only provide the bottle. I tried it and it worked. I actually bottle fed for five days just to make sure, and now my son has adjusted to bottle feedings during the day and I started nursing again during the evenings and weekends.
Good luck.
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S.A.
answers from
San Francisco
on
He will take the bottle. When he gets hungry enough he will realize that it is his only option. If you can go see him on your lunch break and nurse him. Talk to your pediatrician...babies can go longer than you think without eating. I'm not saying to starve him, he will take it! My three year old was this way, he was seven months old when I went back to work and would not take a bottle at all. He was my third child and I didn't know what to do. My daycare lady(private home) was great and she eventually got him to take it. If you are concerned that he is going to get dehydrated, you can use a dropper and squirt the milk into his mouth.
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C.S.
answers from
San Francisco
on
You may have already tried this, but try different nipples. It takes several attempts before some babies will take the bottle. Just try to relax and stay determined. He'll take it eventually. Good luck!
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J.K.
answers from
Redding
on
i also went back to work around that time and my boyfriend had to work to get our son to take the bottle -- first time cried for 45+ minutes, etc. the thing is that they will get it if you are patient and have good energy about it. they will sense the stress so the caregiver has to really be aware. also, make sure you are not around at all when the bottle is given. my boys had to work out their system but it was so worth the pain because daddy is a great caregiver and they bonded so much being able to give feedings in bed snuggling, spending all day together while moms at work, and it has really evolved to where it is so easy for daddy to put child to sleep, comfort, and nurture. good luck and remember to have patience and know it will work out.
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J.K.
answers from
San Francisco
on
Don't worry! My daughter wouldn't take a bottle in advance, but when the time came, and she was hungry and not with me, she did fine.I would guess it will be the same for you. If you want to try now, make sure you have someone else offer him the bottle. How did things go with your other kids?
very best!
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C.A.
answers from
Sacramento
on
My now 10 month old still does not take a bottle and I have been back at work since she was 5 months old. There are a few tricks to try. We would cup feed the baby with a full cup of breastmilk that she would lap up. We would use a medicine dropper or syringe. You can spoon feed him breastmilk. We would also use a straw - dip it in the milk and hold your finger over the end, release your finger when you put it in his mouth. Keep trying the bottle everyday - it is best for someone else to give it and for you to be out of the house when they do - they can smell you! Another thing that helped is I would get up early enough to nurse the baby twice before I went to work and she would nurse almost constantly once I got home. Once he is 6 months old he can have his breastmilk mixed in cereal.
Good Luck!
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A.P.
answers from
San Francisco
on
had the same issue - the ONLY nipple our daughter would use was the playtex drop in - latex - NOT the silicone. I tried every one in the world and that was finally the one she used. Also, we had to give it to her laying in the nursing position(right up against me and or my husband like she really was nursing). Most advice is to not do this, but it was the very last thing I tried, just in case, and low and behold, it worked!!! these things may not work for you, but I sure wish someone had told me! Also, I had read sometimes if you insert your pinky finger in her mouth with the bottle nipple and then eventually take out your finger it may help... no idea why, but can't hurt to try!
and as most Drs will tell ya... if the little one is hungry enough, eventually they will take the bottle. Not helpful to hear when they are screaming all day, but it is true.... just need a very patient caregiver while you are gone. Also, make sure you aren't trying the bottle and then going right to nursing, or the baby will hold out til the boob. if you are trying a bottle (before she is too hungry) and she refuses, wait at least 20 mins or so before you nurse her.
good luck!
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T.B.
answers from
Sacramento
on
Have you tried different bottles and nipple styles? i had the same problem with my daughter who is also 3 months old. I had to try three different bottles and three different nipples before she found one that was easy for her to suck. Also I had to try the bottle with her while she was not too hungry,like maybe an hour before she would normally eat. I found that if she was too hungry she would get frustrated too easily and only want the breast.
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A.S.
answers from
San Francisco
on
Have yout tried the Avent bottle nipple? I've seen thie one work well. As a nanny and mother who breast fed I understand your concern. I had to care for two breast fed babbies when their mother returned to work at 12 weeks. It was very challenging for myself and the baby! I remember calling one of the mothers at work because the baby hadn't eaten in 6 hours! Eventually he did though although it was only 2 oz. After a while both babies were fine with the bottle and adjusted well. Give you baby the bottle for at least two feedings a day and have someone else feed him. Maybe go out for a walk or a drive so that you don't have to hear him fussing and then your milk won't let down. It will be a struggle but he eventually will give in and except it. I know it sounds harsh but it's best to get him used to the bottle now than to wait untill later and let the childcare provider deal with it! Also talk to your pediatrition about his fellings on the best way to go about this. Have you tried contacting your local La Leche League? www.llli.org/ There are alot of experienced mentors there that can give you great advice. Good luck! Good for you for breastfeeding your baby and giving him the best start!
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A.C.
answers from
Salinas
on
Try having someone else feed him the breastmilk bottle, and you leave the room. He can still smell you, and he knows you've got, and he likes it better that way. Try two feedings like that. Eventually he should eat because he can't go forever without it. Good luck!
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E.C.
answers from
San Francisco
on
Hello! I am the mom of a 4 year old who as a baby had the same "bottle refusal" issues that your child is experiencing right now. I went back to work when she was 7 months old and lost a huge amount of sleep worrying about this problem. We tried a lot of different shapes/sizes of nipples, which was time consuming and expensive - but eventually she ended up drinking my pumped milk through a Playtex nurser nipple. I don't remember the exact name of the nipple, but it is the wide mouth one and is very thin and soft. The other thing that helped a lot was my not being around while she was being given a bottle - it seemed like as soon as she knew I was in the room, she wanted my breast instead of the bottle. I had nightmares of her refusing to drink milk all day, only to have me nurse her all night after a hard day at work, but as it turned out everything worked out. So hang in there, and have faith that your baby won't starve! :) And good luck with returning to work.
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K.M.
answers from
San Francisco
on
Hi E.-
I attend a mother's group and have heard discussions regarding similar problems. I too have a three month old. A book called "The Nursing Mother's Companion" (a highly recommended read) writes about this issue and suggests that you not be there when she first takes a bottle and if it is you that has to feed her via bottle then turn her facing outwards in an under the chest position. Addtionally, our lactation specialist also recommends a tippy cup. Yes, she can start taking a tippy cup with your breast milk in it at this age. We were surprised to learn this, but it has helped some of the moms resolve this problem.
Hope this is of some help. Would love to know if you find a solution...as we will be giving our daughter a bottle when I am not around and dad has to take over feeding duties.
Best of Luck-
K.
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C.M.
answers from
Salinas
on
I have a friend who goes back to monday in the exact same situation. She did a trial run last week with her daycare - just a few hours while she went a meeting at work and the baby took the bottle there. I think the idea behind is that when mom is there, baby wants mom. baby wants it from the source because you get more from breastfeeding than just the milk. but if you are not there and baby is actually hungry, she will take it and probably a lot better because it will something familar. it will taste like mom's milk and that will be a welcome feeling coming from someone baby does not know. so i wouldn't worry until after.... it's just that your baby wants you right now because your baby knows beset! : )
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M.C.
answers from
San Francisco
on
Have someone else feed the baby out of the bottle with the breast milk while holding him in the same position you nurse in. A good bottle that is shaped like a breast will help, I just read an artical saying the Adiri bottle works like the breast in feel and sucking action (and is dishwasher safe). Good luck :)
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D.H.
answers from
Sacramento
on
We had the same problem only my little boy was only 4 weeks old when I had to go back. We could not get him to take anything. We tried every bottle out there. What finally worked was 1. Latex nipples, specifically the platex drop in system and 2. Having my mother (who had 5 kids herself) and other "grandmas" or more experinced mom's give him the bottle. My mom cuddled our little boy, sang to him, talked to him and such while teasing his mouth with the bottle. I was standing right there and he finally decided to try it out. Now I leave him with my mom for 9 hours a day 2 days a week and he does great. I would suggest getting every bottle and nipple out there to try and finding someone who has massive experince. Your baby can sense your stress over her not taking the bottle so it should be someone more relaxed over the event. It will take a couple of days but your baby will try it. Good Luck.
p.s. My mom also first introduced the bottle with a little water in it. She said that was b/c then the baby was getting something new and different and was more willing to try out what was in the bottle. It was only 1 ounce but that did seem to "prime the pump" so to speak. The next time she gave him a bottle it was with milk. It still took a week for our son to take the bottle from my husband or daughter but like I said, he eats like a champ now.
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J.R.
answers from
San Francisco
on
We had the exact same problem. We found that I couldn't even be in the house, let alone be the one who tried to get him take a bottle. If he knows you're there he won't take it. It has to be your husband or someone else. Good luck!
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K.L.
answers from
Merced
on
try different nipples on the bottle, he'll find one that's similar to you.
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M.S.
answers from
San Francisco
on
Hi,
I know its hard, but try someone else giving your baby the bottle. When the baby is hungry enough, they will take the bottle. Keep trying and have several people try to give the baby the bottle. Sometimes they won't take it from mom if they know that the breast is not far away. Good luck to you.
Molly
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L.H.
answers from
San Francisco
on
I was in the same boat with my first son, who wouldn't take a bottle at ALL when I had to go back to work at 5 months postpartum.
Here's what I did. I picked a childcare center near my work, and went to nurse him at lunchtime. So I nursed him at the childcare center before I left there to go to work, and I nursed him at lunchtime and then I nursed him upon arriving at the end of the day.
He was fussy when he got hungry, but he kept gaining weight at a rapid pace, and he would make up for not feeding as much during the day by nursing more at night, a phenomenon known as reverse cycling.
His caregiver would often give him breastmilk in a spoon or cup if he was really fussy, and he would often take that just fine. He still refused a bottle, but the cup was acceptable.
At 6 months his caregiver started adding a little banana, avocado or rice cereal to the breastmilk and he liked that. He would not take it from me, but he took it from her.
Hope that helps. It was hard, but once he started eating solids the situation resolved itself. In the meantime, if you can visit at lunch to nurse your baby that is a good solution.
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L.C.
answers from
San Francisco
on
Hi There
My daughter is now 17. When I had to return to work when she was 12 weeks old, she also would not take a bottle. We tried everything and no success before the "big" day. She lasted two days at the family day care before she finally took a bottle during the day. She was always starving at the end of the day when I arrived and certainly stressed, but she did take the bottle eventually. One thing I do clearly remember is that you absolutely cannot be the one to give her the bottle. She associates you with the breast. I had to stop nursing Caitlin completely to get her to regualarly take the bottle, which wasn't my first choice by any measure. However, she is now a happy healthy young woman visiting potential colleges!
Good Luck
L. C
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P.H.
answers from
San Francisco
on
My lactation consultant recommended the Playtex NaturaLatch silicon nipples. Unfortunately, you have to used them with the Playtex bottles & liners but we didn't have any problems introducing the bottle to our twins with them. The nipple is the most like "mom" & my girls have been able to go back & forth without any nipple confusion.