My 9Month Old Always Fights and Doesn't Want to Eat His Meals

Updated on January 28, 2009
A.U. asks from Oxford, NY
13 answers

I started my son on solids at 6 months old. Probably about a month ago he refused to eat jars and wanted to feed himself. So I've been giving him some finger foods he'll eat so I can get some baby food in him. We compromise a little :)
Breakfast starts out good. He has to feed himself a little but then He'll eat a jar. Lunch gets a little worse. Sometimes he'll eat a jar sometimes not. Usually I can get him to eat a little finger foods. Dinner he doesn't want anything. NO finger food, Baby food. He's healthy and gaining weight so I guess I shouldn't worry? I just feel he should eat dinners. Specially b/c he gets up so much during the night. I've tried his favorite foods. I've changed the time from 4pm up to 7pm. Haven't found the nitch yet. Anyone else go through this so I can ease my mind?

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So What Happened?

I found he really likes the Yo Baby yogurt. I'll also now give him more of what I'm eating. I'm taking the good advice and not going to worry about it. He's breastfeeding regularly and is healthy. Thanks for the tips!

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K.D.

answers from New York on

My 2nd daughter used to fight and cry and scream when we started to feed her solids. Finally, one night, I just took the food off my plate -- it was salmon and mashed potatoes that night -- and chopped and mashed it and put it in front of her and she ate every bite. Never ate babyfood. Just moved straight to the good stuff!

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M.K.

answers from New York on

Something similar happened to my daughter while she was in the 10th month. She was a great eater before, and all of a sudden didn't want to eat, or everything had to be given to her in chunks that she could feed herself. She would turn her head away at a spoon and any mushy food.
Apperantly this is a phase that many babies go through. so just stick with it and don't worry about the jars but give him whatever he'll eat. Fruits worked well for us (she never refused fruits), she was also interested in the food we were eating, so i would give her little pieces of vegitables to try.
before you know it, your son will be eating again. Also, remember that at this age, they can eat what you eat, so maybe try giving him more of your food (esp. soups and such) and not so many purees.
Good luck!

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M.S.

answers from Syracuse on

My son still isn't a big dinner eater, and he's 2! But also by 9 months my kids were uber-independent and refused to eat anything I tried to feed them. So I just gave them whatever we were eating (except the stuff you're not supposed to offer yet), and they were good to go. Yeah, at that age breastmilk or formula contains all the nutrition they need, so it's not a big deal. But try to let your son be more independent, and offer more than finger foods - like, try pastas and cheese (if you are willing to introduce cheese) and olives. Let him experience the different textures and just play! And don't stress at mealtimes - this is the best advice I ever got. Kids will eat when they're hungry and refuse when they're not. But they sense parental distress and respond to it! So act like it doesn't matter to you whether he eats or not. Good luck!

Oh, and by 9 months he should be in bed between 6 and 7. Sometimes moving bedtime earlier will change the schedule so that your son will sleep better all night. Neither of my kids (both big) were sleeping through by 9 months though. My son started at 12 months and my daughter at 10 months.

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M.N.

answers from New York on

At 9 months old I would let baby lead the way - if he is not interested in dinner after a few tries, let it go and offer the breast or bottle instead. I made the mistake with my first of forcing the issue of eating at a young age - probably around the same age your son is now - and I have always regretted it because the dinner table became a battleground and to this day, at 10 yrs old, he is a very picky eater. It turns out he is very sensitive to food textures and I think I made things worse when he was younger and I would make such a big deal out of him eating - I obsessed about it! So he turned it into a control thing . . .I learned my lesson and with my other two children was much more relaxed about the eating and let them lead the way. Turns out they are both excellent eaters! My ped. always told me not to worry - offer them healthy food, if they don't want it take it away and try later. They won't starve. And he was right!

One other thing - I have noticed my 13 month old has a decreased appetite when she is teething so at those times I offer easy foods like banana and frozen bagels to help with that. She also doesn't want to nurse during these flare ups . . .good luck!

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D.S.

answers from New York on

Hey A.,

You didn't mention if you are breast or bottle feeding and how much you are spacing out his meals from his other feedings. I used to give a bottle when my kids first woke up and then did breakfast around 8. I would do another bottle around 10:30 and then lunch around 12. If they weren't sleeping maybe a bottle around 2:30 or 3 and then dinner around 5:30 or 6. One more bottle before bed and that was usually a pretty good routine for us. My kids were always great breakfast eaters and the other two meals were different every day. If he doesn't want dinner have you tried maybe a yogurt before bed? The only suggestion I have is to try to space out bottles or nursing with his meals so he is hungry when you are feeding him. As long as he is gaining weight, happy, and healthy I wouldn't worry this may just be what he needs for right now. As he becomes more active his appetite and sleeping should improve. Good luck!!

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H.G.

answers from New York on

My son stopped eating baby foot at 7 1/2 months! I don't know if it was a texture thing, or a control thing...

In any case, breast milk or formula is where they get their real nutrients until they're a year old. So don't stress about solids. Just keep giving him different, yummy finger foods- and follow his lead. Don't force him to eat. Even playing helps him develop a good pincer grasp and hand-eye coordination!

Keep offering him healthy foods, and let him choose!

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S.I.

answers from New York on

Kids go through cycles of eating - some times they are just not as hungry. In the long term, your son will develop healthy eating habits if you offer healthy foods and let him decide when he's hungry and when he's not.

Also, it's a good sign (even if it is frustrating) that he's showing independence. He wants to be a big kid and feed himself - it's hard for you and maybe messy, but it's a big developmental step.

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A.P.

answers from New York on

Wow! Another A. U! I was A. U too before I changed my last name when I got married. Anyway, my son refused baby food early on. Probably around 9 months too. The good news is, there's so much they can eat at that age, that you don't really need to give baby food. In fact, it's easier to give them table food really. Strangely enough, my son was never a big dinner eater, and still isn't at age 2. I think the most important thing is that he is getting a varied diet over the course of a few days. I don't think it matters whether he eats more in the morning, or throughout the day, vs. at night. Maybe you can try expanding his finger food variety? I had to do this with my son a lot, as he got bored with the same old things. He liked things like mini pancakes and waffles, and he liked black beans and veggie burgers. Try not to worry--sounds like your son is healthy--just displaying his independence! Good luck.

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M.B.

answers from Rochester on

A.,
Are you still breastfeeding? Boost the number of times you nurse (if you're comfortable with it) to make up for the stuff you feel he's not getting. He may be missing the warmth, nestling, and food he's getting when he's breastfeeding.

We started our son off on solids at 6.5 months, but he wasn't interested - we didn't force the issue and just kept breastfeeding more, and getting the cereals in first - they are more important for the iron. Mixed with breastmilk was the only way he'd eat them at that point. He didn't really start cereal daily until 8 months. Jar fruits were what he liked, yellow veggies - and spinach. :) but he would eat only 1/2 jar at age 8 mos. He may be putting in a bid for more nursing - try nursing him just before or after eating.

You might stretch him out to six earlier meals a day - little blips instead of 'big meals' for him. Your son has been eating 12+ times a day for a long time now.

At 9 months, I was still nursing him 10x a day at least, more on teething days. Which reminds me, if he's teething, he'll not be interested in food as much.

Food doesn't help him get to sleep, I've _read_. I don't know that I completely discount food, but I know it's not the end-all be-all for getting sleep. Sometimes it is the baby.

Favorite foods? Don't forget a balance - I have given him veggies for breakfast since day one. :)

He's gaining weight? GREAT! That means one less worry for you.

Don't worry, you're doing great!

Good luck,
M.

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D.

answers from New York on

My daughter was the same way. She gave up baby food all together at 9 mos. My doc said she didn't need them. So she has been eating whatever we eat since then. Just cook pasta and things until they are extremely soft. The same with veggies.

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A.S.

answers from New York on

I would say ditch the jars. They are expensive, BLAND and do not look appetizing at all. Does he eat dinner at the table with you and your husband? If not, start that habit as there are many studies out that report families that sit down and eat dinner together are less likely to be overweight (every family member) and the kids are less likely to use drugs/alcohol when they get older. Feed him what you eat, just make sure it is soft and cut up small. At 7-8 months my son had tried several Indian and Thai dishes and has loved spicy food ever since. There is a great book called Super Baby Food by Ruth Yaron that has a ton of recipes and food ideas for babies through toddlers. She is a bit over the top and enthusiastic sometimes, but I got lots of great ideas from this book.

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M.J.

answers from New York on

Sounds like my little one! She is 8 months and was never consistent with her intake at meal time. Then she stopped eating everything until I started to give her puffs. Now she is eating toast, broccoli flourets, cubed cooked carrots, pears, apples whatever she can pick up and gum. I mixed some of my homemade purees (which she woudn't eat) in with ground chicken and she loves it (I even think it's yummy). I am on the hunt for recipes everyday. We're trying overcooked macaroni tonight. It's a lot of work but the look on her face when she does it herself, I've never seen her happier at mealtime! Basically I never freaked because she always gained and drank her bottles (most importantly). You can't force it so don't worry. As long as he is drinking bottles and happy & gaining. Teething can also throw them off. It messes with their mouth and stomachs. Best of luck.

D.D.

answers from New York on

You are doing a wonderful job with your little guy. Their food intake is constantly changing. Don't worry if he doesn't seem to be eatting enough. As long as he is peeing and pooping he's getting enough to eat. Keep offering him a variety of things especially finger food that he can do himself.

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