My 7 Year Old Keeps Claiming to Be Sick to Not Go to School

I would find out what's going on a school that makes him not what to go. Is there a quiz/test coming up that he doesn't feel ready for? Is there a bully that is picking on him? There is something making him dread going... is it the same time every month?

You need to talk to him to find out why he doesn't want to go. I remeber being around that age and I was teased a lot. I was so anxious I DID feel sick in the morning. It wasn't "illness" sick, it was tension sick. So he may actually be feeling "sick", but not actually ill. See if there's something behind it other than wanting "down time". Once you know the "why", you may have a better handle on how to deal with it.

I was mean to my children. If one of them claimed, "I'm SOOO sick," but there weren't any symptoms, I would tell them that if they stayed home they would have to stay in bed all day long. For a non-sick child, that is b-o-r-i-n-g. Alternatively, I might say, "Well, go back to bed and I'll call the doctor's office as soon as it opens and make an appointment."

Then, if my darling child said, "I'm not THAT sick," I'd say, "What's going on, then?" Sometimes he or she was worried about something, or hadn't studied for a test. Sometimes it was just an I-don't-wanna mood. We'd talk it out, but then school would be the next item on the agenda.

If the child really was ill, that was different. A little (!) indulgence might need to go along with the medicine. One time all of them were at home with the flu bug that had hit half the school. They all camped out and played board games in the same bedroom - the one nearest to the bathroom, of course. Anybody who threw up on the game couldn't play any longer.

maybe something is going on at school that is bothering him. have you had a talk with him to find out anything of that sort!!!

Honestly if your child does not want to go to school that often you need to see whats going on at school to bring this on. Something is not working right for him. My daughter and myselfl have an understanding she can only call a sick of school day once every other month. So if she has gone for 2 months and cant tolerate a day we say ok. Now if she really gets sick it still counts. Peer pressure is crazy at 7 already and teachers can be great or a disaster.

I'm a little surprised how harsh some replies have been -- but not all. I agree with the folks who say to find out, before you punish him, whether he is actually being bullied, or has an issue with some particular class (maybe he feels horribly pressured in gym if he's not particularly athletic, or panics when it's math test day, etc.). If you keep tabs on his school life, how he feels about classes and classmates, which subjects' homework seem tougher or easier for him, you'll have an idea of whether he has some issues that would make him want to miss school. And as someone else said, look for a pattern -- were the sick days actually days that something was due, or he had a test, or it was "run the mile" day in gym, or the whole school had a standardized test (those are creating a LOT of pressure on teachers in some places, and the teachers pressure kids -- it's happening here)? Etc., etc.

He may indeed really believe he's "sick" if his nerves or worries make his stomach clench at the idea of going to school. I'd ignore the claim of vomiting since it was one time and there's no way to prove he did or didn't vomit.

Talk to his teacher in detail, describe what's going on here, and try to go over the days he was out and what the teacher says was happening that day or the day before. Ask the teacher what she or he thinks -- does the teacher have a good "read" on your child's personality? Could it be conflict with the teacher herself? Or is the teacher aware he doesn't get along with certain kids and is possibly being pushed around and just reaches his limit about once a month? Does he tend to give up easily on other things? Does he tend to procrastinate on schoolwork, which could mean he's got things due that he isn't telliing you about?

He could indeed just be blowing off school for fun, as some posters are indicating, but before you start disciplining him, rule out real causes and fears.

Maybe dig a little deeper to see if there is a bullying situation or some other school related reason he doesn't want to go (reading out loud, etc. who knows?) but our house rule is if you have a fever you can stay home. If they don't have a fever but I am not sure if they are getting sick or not they can stay home, in bed and only sleep or read. No tv, video games etc. I bring their meals to them and they literally stay in their room the whole day. This is restful if they are really sick and totally boring if they are not and it usually has them running back to school as fast as they can- once my son even asked me to take to school at lunch time, he was so bored!

Is this happening on a particular day? Like maybe the spelling test day? Maybe you could ask the teacher on the days he wants to be absent what could be happening at school. Is he being bullied? Do you have an open relationship with him where you can have a calm discussion in the car or over a special time out when you both are calm and happy and bring it up and tell him if anything is going on that you should know about, you will be there for him but you need him to talk to you about it otherwise, you need to make an appointment with his doctor to find out why he is throwing up in the middle of the night. I would tell him next time he has an episode that you want him to NOT flush the toilet... You can then begin to narrow it down if there is something truly organic going on or perhaps psychological or like Patricia mentioned, bullying. I too remember pulling the stomach ache card but more towards Jr. High.
Good luck!

There is obviously something going on at school. You need to find out what it is. You need to make an appointment with the teacher. You need to volunteer in the classroom - you learn a lot about the kids by spending time.
That said, if my child were acting fine at 10am, I would have packed him up and taken him to school. End of subject.
LBC

oh MY! just wanted to say that this happened to US today. Both of my older girls (7 and 6) decided their stomachs hurt and said that they didn't feel like going to school. I believed them. Almost a second after i called the school to cancel (and after their only ride today -their father- left home), they started goofing off and giggling and having a grand time. I was so disappointed in them. They've been rude, disrespectful and lied! Due to their lying and continuous awful behavior, the time out area has seen frequent visitors. Their day (as well as mine), has been no walk in the park today! At least their room is clean now(part of the "punishment", although they should clean it anyways!).

I wish I could give you a tip on how to deal. I was trying to give my kids the most un-fun day so staying home was not appealing to them when they should have been in school. I almost wrote my own question on here earlier about this...

No TV or video games unless you record fever, see vomit, rashes, or bodily fluids. Enforce nap time in bed after lunch. No evening activities or going out of the house. Have the school send his homework with a neighbor, make him do it, just like any other school day. You can even make extra work or have him do extra reading. I also agree with the others to try to find out if something at school is making him anxious.

Have you had him evaluated for reflux? My 7 yo dd has it. She complains most of pain at night and in the morning; after a couple hours up she's ok. Make sure there's nothing physically wrong, because if there is believe me you're going to feel horrible when he's finally diagnosed - btdt.

Once he checks out physically then tell him that unless he has a fever, vomiting, or diarrhea (and you have to see it) he has to go to school. Stress that if he's too sick to go to school he's to sick to get out of bed; you will bring him meals & snacks, but he has to stay in bed all.day.long. This has worked well for me the couple times my son pulled 'phantom illnesses'. The first time I let him stay home and confined him to his room. The second time I reminded him of the first time and he miraculously recovered!

ETA - also make sure to get the days work from school so he has to do it the next night.

I went through this with my daughter. We ended up going to the dr. as she said that nothing was going on at school. She was one that hated to miss because she hated the make up work. It turned out that she was producing alot of acid in her stomach at night that it was making her feel sick. The Dr. put her on prescription antacid and that helped and we got through it. Thank goodness she has not out grown it.

My daughter has dyslexia and ADD and hates writing and reading. She likes the teachers and her friends, so she does not hate "school" but she hates all the "work" she has to do. I would not just assume that he is tricking you into fun days at home, but find out what else could be going on. Perhaps there is a bully, or there is a certain teacher or class he does not like? Is there any patters, is it always after gym class or after art class? Talk to the teachers. Talk to him as well, what does he like the most about school and what does he like the least? I would dig deeper.

My question is what is really going on at school ... there may be a bully or other type of intervention needed ... I think it is time for a parent teacher conference to discuss this.

Perhaps you may want to try homeschooling??? Something must be bothering him *at* school and this way he would still get an education AND get to spend some extra bonding time with you!

If that is NOT something you want to try, sit down and have a heart to heart talk with him. Maybe someone is picking on him? Or maybe he just misses you? Maybe you and him should schedule a "sick" day where he skips school and you do something special with him!

When my kids are sick and stay home from school they have to stay in bed. Is it fun for him to stay home? My son faked once and realized it's no fun to stay home sick he thought he was going to watch tv, play video games, and play all day.

I'd send him to school and say if he gets sick at school the nurse will call you so you can come get him. Reasons to stay home are fever (100 or over), diarrhea, throwing up (actually throwing up, not just nausea).
Tell him throwing up in the night means no flushing till you've seen it.
You require evidence of illness not just stories about it.
I'd talk to his teacher and bus driver and see if there's any bullying going on that they are aware of.
I work from home, too and if my son is sick - he stays in bed and sleeps.
No TV or games till after I've finished my work (that usually means some little bit of time before supper) and he has to get any homework done.
If he feels well enough in between naps he can read quietly in bed.
He hates staying home because making up the homework missed is a pain in the neck.

Both of my kids did this, so we made a rule that they could not stay home unless they had a fever or if they threw up they had to wake me or my hubby. We used the angle of "well if you are getting sick this often, i need to see exactly what is going on with you so we can go to the dr". That put an end to things pretty much immediately. Plus, if he really is vomiting at night, then you can see for yourself and call the dr if you feel the need. And...if their grades were good, i gave them one "free day" a school year to play hookey!
Good Luck!

Well, I can tell you that I did this a lot when I was 10. There were several reasons, looking back.
1. My older sister had been sick and had missed a good bit of school. She was actually sick. To a small extent, I think I was afraid that I was getting sick too, which made any little ache or dizziness seem like it may be the beginning of something serious.
2. My mom was at home during the day and we lived close to the school.
3. School was not that much fun and I didn't like doing homework.

Now, this is important; I was absolutely not being bullied, abused, or having a problem with my teachers. In fact, everyone was quite concerned and I felt very loved, by my family, by the lady in the office where I would wait for my mom to pick me up, etc.

I was found out when my teacher wanted be to go ahead and turn in my homework before leaving. Um ... and that was pretty much the end of my sick period. I was never punished but I could tell people were skeptical, and relieved when I quit doing it.
So, it was easy, comforting, and more fun than school. I don't know if this helps, but it was quite easy to slip into this bad habit and I half-way believed I was really sick and half-way knew I wasn't.

I glanced over some of your responses and agree if you know that there is nothing going on at school that would make him act like that, then I would send him back in the middle of the day, if that is possible for you. Once he is up and acting fine ask him how he feels, and if he tells you that everything is ok, then tell him it's time to get ready to go to school for a half day.

*just as a note, I almost wouldn't say it's a bully or anything if it's only happening once a month. I could be wrong.

My 5 year old and 6 year olds did this relatively often particularly early in the year. They are both very much home-bodies/mama's boys and they would just prefer to stay home with me instead of venturing out "on their own". Nothing was going on at school, just a big adjustment for them to be away from home for so long. Now they are a lot better about it, as I generally would not allow them to stay home if not clearly sick and when I was tricked, they needed to rest all day without any screen watching as "that's what one does when they are sick". Best wishes to you!! The teachers were great in encouraging my kids as I kept in touch with them about what was going on and we are mostly past it. Hang in there!!