E.D.
I think you need to stop fighting your son. Set up a schedule for him for the day: These are the things you need to do in the morning, during school, after school, at bedtime. Write them out clearly and post them on his bedroom wall (Get dressed, brush teeth, eat breakfast, etc). Make it clear to your son that he needs to do these things, or there will be conseqences. I don't mean punishments, but natural consequences. For example, if you don't want to get dressed, fine, get on the bus in your pajamas. Don't want to do homework? Then you can explain to your teacher tomorrow why you didn't do it. Don't eat supper? It's a long time until breakfast, and the kitchen is closing now. I know your son has the added problem of the ADHD, but don't let this be a crutch for him or for you.
Remember to take care of yourself. If you feel tears of frustration, leave the room, take some time for yourself.