My 6 Year Old Daughter Panics When She Is About to Cry

Poor baby. I am so glad that you are going to get to the root of this. My experience is that I was told that I was "faking it" so many times when I cried as a child that the end result is I can rarely cry about anything even if I want to, and I know thats no good.

There is nothing wrong with crying. Does she get embarrassed? Has someone told her that she's a cry baby?
You might let her know that all people cry and sometimes it feels better just to get it out. It can be a good release. I broke down and cried just the other day over so much overwhelming stuff that's going on. Keeping it all in wasn't helpiing anything and sometimes, we just need to cry and get it out.
You might also let her know that there are lots of reasons to cry. I cry when I get really happy or someone does something so nice for me that it just touches me and I can't help it. I cry when I leave relatives that I haven't seen in a long time. I don't cry at the drop of a hat, but there are just some times when you have to let the tears come. And it's okay.
I know there have been times when I was afraid to cry because I was afraid if I started, I might not every stop. Maybe that's what she's worried about. Maybe she's afraid of that release and just letting go.

You might want to get to the bottom of why she's "afraid" to cry and then go from there.
My dad always told me that the more I cried, the less I'd have to pee before I went to bed. He had a way of making me laugh and making me feel better about things.

I hope you get to the bottom of this. She will likely grow out of it.

Best wishes.

After you have talked to her about it you can teach her to relax herself. Some time when she is not upset explain to her to close her eyes, imagine a peaceful place (or a happy memory or something that makes her laugh) and take slow deep breaths. If she practices this (first when she is calm) then it will work when she is upset.

I'm so sorry, the poor thing! It sounds like you're on the right track but I wonder what brought all this on? I assume you've asked her why it scares her and what about it she doesn't like. I assume you've tried hard to think back to what may have happened around the time it all started. Could it be the influence of another child? A bad dream? Is there a common thread in what makes her cry and perhaps that is reminding her of a traumatic event? Sorry, not trying to scare you!
Anyway, I would tackle it through books. Here is a list of some books for children that deal with crying and emotions. These can really help her sort out her feelings and realize that it truly is OK to cry.
*Cry Buggie by David Kirk
*Why Do You Cry?: Not a Sob Story by Kate Klise
*When I Feel Sad by Cornelia Maude Spelman
And if you're a Christian, obviously praying with her and perhaps this book:
*Sometimes I Have to Cry: Verses from the Psalms on Tears (by Murphy, Elspeth Campbell.)
Best of luck and Blessings!

She could be afraid that if she starts crying over something that's affecting her deeply, she may not be able to stop. Sometimes crying also has unpleasant side effects like headache or muscle aches in the face and shoulders, and a stomach ache.

Rather than trying to assure her that it's okay to cry, sit with her and inquire into what she's afraid of. She may need some quiet, calm coaxing if she's fighting off tears, or it might be even more helpful to have this conversation while she's not near tears. Ask her what she envisions will happen to her if she cries. This may give her the permission and support to explore her worries in more depth. That will probably need to happen before she can move past this phase.

There are many fabulous tips like this on how to help your children deal with their own emotional quandaries in the wise book How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk, by Faber and Mazlish.

I don't cry very often, but when I cry over something, it is usually because of an unbearable amount of stress/anxiety or if I've experienced a great loss and the sadness that accompanies it. When all of the built-up feelings come to a head, I get an awful anxious feeling or feel deep sadness, have pressure in my chest, and I hyperventilate. It's very uncomfortable. If I try to hold it in, I may get a 'frog in my throat' and even worse anxiety.
For a kid, they might get those feelings and need to cry over something seemingly small. My guess is she is scared of the feeling of not being able to breathe or the other uncomfortable physical feelings. She is old enough to use her words and tell you what she is feeling. Why don't you ask her what makes her afraid? If she says "I can't breathe", keep reassuring her that she can and will breathe.

My 6 year old is a little like that. For her, ,she gets embarrassed. She will even sob an dsay, "I am NOT sad. I am crying because I am SO HAPPY!!!" I might take the approach of saying, if you feel uncomfortable crying in front ofme/dad/your friends then go find a quiet spot to sit until you feel calmer. Get her to focus on her breathing or on an activity like going to get a tisue or a drink of water. Distraction should help. But yes, by all means, tell her it is okay if she cries.

Tell her (and it is true) that "Crying helps us feel better!" We are supposed to cry sometimes and everyone does. Mommie cries, babies cry, and we usually cry when something makes us sad or very upset, so this is a GOOD WAY to make us feel better. Maybe, if it is the feeling of wetness of tears that for some reason is suddenly bothering her (?), have tissues nearby and let her keep one in her pocket to blot with. And if it is the tears themselves that are annoying, tell her "After you have a GOOD cry, then you can rinse your face and you will feel "like a new little girl, so much better!". Just be patient and don't show your concern or your panic (which I am sure you feel, as would I). If the above does not work, you should talk to her pediatrician, but I feel that reassuring her that we ALL cry and it is a good thing because after we cry, we feel better...she might agree and lose some of her aversion to crying. Best of luck!

Is it genuine panic or is she simply being dramatic? If it's drama, I'd ignore her. If she's honestly panicing over this, I'd talk to her doctor because honestly I think this is odd, she is six and has plenty of experience with crying.

The only suggestion I have is to continue to reassure her that it's OK to cry and to hold her. I do wonder what this idea has entered her mind. Has she been with anyone who might've punished her for crying? Or has someone that she likes told her "big girls don't cry" and she wants to be a big girl. Or is it possible that in a fit of anger someone has told her to stop crying in a voice that scared her. If so, you need to talk with her about that specific incident so that she knows what happened then is not "the rule."