Just before Halloween, my 5 year old daughter saw an episode of the Nickeloden show Victorious that scared the living daylights out of her. It was right before Halloween (not her favorite Halloween) so for the first couple of days all she did was cry and want her mommy, daddy or nana. Both my husband and I work so she is with her nana all day. Over the past week and a half, she is doing better. However, she is still VERY clingy with me. She DOES NOT want to talk about this episode she she saw. She says she is very scared by it. We cannot leave her in a room alone. She does not want to play with her toys alone in her room like she used to. She won't go to the bathroom alone. She cries and doesn't want to talk about the show at all. She says it scared her. We went to a birthday party over the weekend and she wouldn't even go off to play with the other kids which is not like her. We can hardly get her to go to bed at night. She is in a room with her older sister, so that helps. But every night she is crawling into bed with us. In 3 weeks, we see her pediatricain for a check-up. But, I was hoping to get some advice before then. I would love to get her back to normal. She has shown some signs of anxiety before, so I am sure it has to do with that, but I need a temporary solution. I cannot get anything done at home. She will not let me out of her sight! Please help!!! Thanks!!!
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It was actually the episode where the ventriloquist kid has nightmares and the kid is really small in a dream and the puppet is really HUGE! She saw it one time a few weeks ago without me then she wanted me to see it a week and a half ago. We watched it together. It was kinda scary for a kid. We won't be watching shows that aren't meant for little ones any more that's for sure. But I do see some good tips here that I will try later tonight and in the days to come. I will keep you all posted!
THANKS EVERYONE - IT HAS BEEN JUST OVER 2 WEEKS SINCE THIS FIRST STARTED. SHE IS SOMEWHAT GETTING BACK TO NORMAL. I THINK IT IS JUST GOING TO TAKE SOME TIME. SHE STILL IS A LITTLE CLINGY WITH ME AND DOESN'T WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE IN A ROOM. WE ARE WORKING ON THAT. HER DOCTOR APPT IS IN 2 WEEKS. HOPEFULLY WE WILL HAVE HER COMPLETELY BACK TO NORMAL SOON....WHATEVER NORMAL IS!!!
Maybe you could explain to her that TV is fake.. if you have a video camera (or that function on your phone) you could make a "scary" movie with her as the "star" so she can see first hand that what is recorded isn't always real.
Good Lord. She is 5?
Does she attend kindergarten? Does she do ok there?
I think you should try to get her into the Pedi sooner and see if she should see a therapist.. To me this seems like an extreme continued reaction.. Our daughter could freak herself out, without seeing TV or books etc.. She is extremely creative, but we have always talked about, what is real and what is not real. Monsters are not real. Blood on tv is not real. Fangs on people, not real..
The few times our daughter started to become clingy, meant she was not feeling physically well.. Her asthma was usually about to turn bad.. I always started her nebulizer treatments and made sire the filter in her room had been changed out..
You need to empower her and let her know it is good to have a imagination, but that we need to understand what make believe is.
Give her a flashlight to use when she has to go in dark areas of your home.. Maybe give her a walkie talkie so she can hear all of you as she ventures around the house alone..
I like the ideas of talking to her about the difference between real and fake/pretend. Allow her to dress up as a cowgirl or a painter or a farmer or something. Ask "Are you REALLY a farmer? Or are you just pretending? Well that's the way tv is a lot of the time......."
I also like the idea of equipping her with a flashlight or maybe something even better would be a ring or a necklace that will help 'protect her.'
It may be confusing for her to have both the talk about real vs pretend and then you equip her with something to protect her, so it'd probably be best to pick ONE route to go. Or if you do both, maybe say something like "Since what you saw is fake and there is no monster in the bathroom, you don't really need this, but if it makes you feel better, here's an angel necklace that will always be with you so you are never alone."
There's also VeggieTales episode (dvd) about being scared. It's got the catchy song "God is bigger than the Boogie Man." I'd bet you can find the whole episode or at least the song clip on YouTube. Great song. Now that I'm typing this I have the song stuck in my head. It continues "He's bigger than Godzilla or the monsters on tv.....God is bigger . . . and he watches out for you and me."
Our son had issues with waking in the middle of the night. Every time he did, I think he was waking up due to nightmares. I would take him back to his room and say "You're okay. Everything's fine." and he'd go back to sleep in his room.
Good luck. I imagine this is very stressful on you. Hang in there.
My girlfriend just went through this this summer with her 5YO. The pediatrician told her 5-7 was when stuff starts becoming "real" to children. So if she saw something that scared her (not familiar with this show as we don't have cable), even if it was rather innocuous to you and I, it may be evidence that she is beginning to see things and accept that could they be real in her own life, like curious george getting trapped in an elevator during a power outage or a child left alone at home by mistake. If she saw a Halloween episode and has just hit this stage of life, then she may very well be having vivid living fantasies about what that would mean to her and in her life and scared to freakin death by all of the possibilities of it. Basically I would roll with it. She is emotionally in a fragile place right now and the last thing you want to do is minimize her feelings in order to rush her through it, or tell her to suck it up and get over it. At the age of five, she has minimal life experience, very real and big feelings right now, and very very limited capacity to deal or work through them without alot of adult help. I would definitely encourage you to maintain household rules and boundaries (such as sleeping in her own bed) but with caveats appropriate for her age and situation (such as "you must stay in your own bed but mommy/daddy will lie here with you for 15 minutes [set timer] and when the timer goes off I'm going downstairs)". My gf did this with her DD and it took 3 weeks of lying down, getting up, lying down ("ok now I'm leaving for 15 minutes....I'll come back and lie down for another 10 if you're still awake..") and getting up until her daughter felt secure enough to sleep alone. And she had just seen a short story on the news.
If you haven't seen the episode, I would definitley watch it on Hulu or something in order to understand what she's seen and what she may be dealing with.
You really just have to roll with it and give her what she needs right now - and she's obviously telling you. Remember kids can't differentiate very well between fantasy and reality at that age, and just because you tell her something isn't real doesn't mean she even has the ability to choose to believe you, though definitely keep reiterating it! If it remains an issue by the well check, I would feel out the pediatrician for possible further steps to take to reestablish her feelings of security.
Good luck!
I want to recommend emotional freedom technique (emo). Here is the main website http://www.eftuniverse.com/ . It is a very simple tapping technique on acupressure points that is particularly good for children and for fears. They have free instructions and examples on how to do it. This link includes a story about a boy that was afraid after watching The Mummy movie. http://www.eftuniverse.com/index.php?option=com_content&a... Here's a bedtime routine that is very helpful http://www.eftuniverse.com/index.php?option=com_content&a...
Good luck.
Right now she needs you to be there with her. I think you should do that. What you have to do at home can wait. You can't make her "unsee" what she saw. And you can't say she shouldn't be scared, because she is.
My son saw something on TV when he was three (he walked into a room where the tv was on, to this day I have no idea what image he saw (I really don't think it could have been that bad, it was PBS and the kids show had ended, so maybe a war show or something?)). Anyway to this day he can't go into a room alone (not that a show like Victorious should or will produce this result).
When my boys see something that scares them, oddly it sometimes helps them to see it over again. Somehow it takes the punch out of it. Maybe go on Hulu and see if you can find it, view it yourself and then maybe view it again with her so you can explain how they do the effects (I think she got a scary mask stuck on her face or something, from the piece I saw of it, it was pretty freaky).
I don't think this is particularly "abnormal" as one poster suggests. Some kids just have a higher level of anxiety than others. And shows like this are not designed for little kids - they "assume" that you know certain things that younger kids just don't know yet (like that a mask could not get stuck onto your face ;>)
Good luck and give your daughter a big hug.
Do whatever you can to see the show so you can talk to her about it and tell the pediatrician about it. Why wait for your next scheduled appointment? She is having a severe reaction. Teach her the lesson that severe issues need rapid help. Don't let her continue to suffer. Follow the other advice below about trying to raise her to know fact from fiction, making fun of the concept of boogey man, equip her with knowledge, tools, etc to help make her feel empowered. If it goes even further, consider counseling and/or karati lessons. Lessons of something of interest at this age help raise self-esteen as well. They learn that they can learn new things and have things to be proud of as they see that training and practice can make miracles.
Have you tried getting online to see what was on this episode? sometimes you can watch the episodes of shows online. I would try to figure out what she saw first b/c I can't imagine that something on Nick could be that scary. I have a 5 yr old and she watches Nick all the time. I don't say this to offend but do you think she does this for attn? You say she has had anxiety issues before, maybe it is just her personality or for attn or maybe a type of separation anxiety? Has she said that the show scared her but not mentioned what it was? I would try and see the episode before you try to help her but then you need to sit her down and explain that whatever it was, it is not real life. My 5 yr old gets scared over some things but I think she would listen if I sat her down to talk to her. Good luck
Could it have been the episode where the main character gets a face mask (a kinda scary one) stuck to her face during a school musical performance? I watched a bit of that episode and although my girls (almost 8 and almost 10) were fine with it, I could see how a 5yr old would get a bit freaked out. Or maybe it wasn't that episode. In any case, keep reassuring her that you're there for her, keep talking about how stuff on TV isn't real. And most importantly, make sure she's watching age appropriate stuff - Victorious is definitely for the pre-teen set, not a 5 yr old. I hope your daughter feels better soon - some of those programs can be really visually scary!
5 is way young for that show even tho its on nick but i can understand her seeing it b/c of her older sister. see if you can find the halloween special online and watch it. see what ever scary thing was on there and talk to her about it. a monster-not real, ghost- wont hurt you, people in costumes-people playing dress up you get the idea. hope this helps!
I know what episode she watched. http://www.nick.com/shows/victorious (Victoria turns into a zombie) It is the one where the mask gets stuck on her face. At the end, her friends bring her the glue remover that helps her take it off. (Kids have seen the show) Did she see the end? Maybe if she could see that she was just wearing a mask, it would help. We talk a lot about things that are on tv, aren't always true. They are pretend. Hope this helps some. Good luck.
Was it the Victorious show itself or the movie "The Boy That Cried Werewolf" that starred the girl from Victorious?
Victoria Justice the 17 year old star of Nickelodeon's Victorious is everywhere these days…Victoria is starring in The Boy Who Cried Werewolf about a shy girl who while on vacation with her family to visit an ancient castle in Romania accidentally turns into a werewolf. The film is also starring Brooke Shields and premieres October 23, 2010 on Nickelodeon, just in time for Halloween!
