My daughter who is 5 always says 'yes' to questions that some of the time she should answer with 'no'. This is only when she is asked questions by other people, as she will answer correctly for us. For instance, when adults ask her typical questions like how old she is, she'll answer that correctly. However, if they ask her if she likes something or not, she will always say 'yes' to it, even though we know she doesn't. If they ask her if she goes to school, she says 'yes' and she doesn't start school until next year.Other simple questions are the same, she will always say yes to also. I'm wondering if this is typical for her age?
In response to the replies I've received so far: We have practiced this with her and she will tell us yes or no correctly always!!! So this isn't the problem, it's when she's responding to other adults! As to why she's not in school already is because she just turned 5 last week. She has been in preschool programs but currently is not, so it may be that she's interpreting their question as if she's ever been in school, not sure. She already knows her numbers, can write her name, letters, etc. She reads books back to me, etc. So in every other way, she is functioning
As several people have said I think she's just trying to be accommodating to others. I can relate since I was that way as a child. You might just explain that it's alright not to like the same things. It makes life interesting that way. :)
I don't think it's very typical...I have a few nieces and nephews and based on my friend's children as well, kids around that age are usually very truthful and blatant in their responses. I remember asking my niece at Christmas "Do you like your presents?" And she said "No, I wanted a Barbie horse". My friend's son, when asked if he liked his dad's chicken dinner said "I hate it, it's rubbery and gross". These are just a couple examples but in general kids that age are very honest and if they are asked a question like "Do you like princesses?" They will probably say "Yes!" enthusiastically and continue on, telling you all about the princesses they like because they enjoy talking about their likes/dislikes and getting that attention from an adult.
As someone mentioned below, it is probably that she is just timid and socially anxious or anxious to please. I think you could also explain to her that when she says "yes" and that is not what she is really feeling, she is actually lying, and start to drill into her that telling the truth is a good thing and try to explain to her when it's appropriate to tell "white lies" and when it's not.
My first thought was that she's shy/not sure what to say, maybe like a deer in the headlights? But I like Jane's idea that she's just a people 'pleaser' who thinks agreeing will make the stranger like her/smile at her.
I wouldn't worry. Just work on teaching her and explaining to her that it's okay if she says no to these people.
My daughter does this, so don't worry. I think that some kids are just "pleasers" and they think that a "yes" answer will make the questioner happy. For example, my daughter loves the Disney princesses, but when asked her "favorite princess" she will always agree with the questioner. My daughter is also quite shy, and I think that sometimes she's hoping that an agreeable answer will stop the questioning sooner. I wouldn't worry about it. I try to make a joke out of if when I know she's given the wrong answer.
Don't know that it's typical, but you could practice scenarios with her when her incorrect response triggers an unwanted result. "Do you like brussel sprouts? Yes? Well here's a whole serving just for you!" This could bring home the lesson that she needs to think before she answers...and could be a fun teaching lesson for the parents. I can think of so many things to ask and get a yes response and she wouldn't like the results!
Do you have any adult friends that you and your daughter see often that could help practice with her? Have them ask her just ridiculous questions like "is the sky brown?" and get her comfortable saying no. Then move on to more subjective things like "do you like broccoli?".
Good luck,
K.
I have a 5 yr old and this in fact is NOT typical. My 5 yr old is assertive and while she does get shy she dosen't lose perception of what she wants. May I ask why she isn't in school yet??? when mine was 4 she went to half day preschool and is now in full day kindergarten. with these programs she is doing a tremendous amount of things and has socially developed as well. I think she just may be very timid. Try to show her look, if u need to say somethin speak up, if u think somethin, it's ok we always tell mine, just say whats on ur mind. sometimes she'll hint at what she wants instead off directly asking, I'm always like if u want something ask for it.completely sam concept i think urs is just to more of an extent work on self confidence and assertion with her, it's important and she'll need it alot in life!!! try to get her into a program of a sort and school ASAP, byt kindergarten all the kids are reading and writing, know the days months yr/ etc. good luck@!
You are lucky, my son always answers No to everything. He is 4years old, his teacher at school and I am working with this. we pray that one day he will say yes.
Be patience.
