My 4 Month Old Needs to Latch in Order to Fall Asleep

When my son was this old he only would fall asleep while on a person. I would wear him in a sling. I ried many slings and the one by nojo from dr. sears was the best. I believe dr sears is no longer selling it but you can get it online still. He did not have a problem falling asleep with anyone else as long as he was in the sling. good luck! If you have any questions feel free to contact me.

Hi Y., I wouldn't worry about it too much. Your daughter will react completely differently when she is with a caregiver than she does with you. My son always nursed to sleep, but did fine when he was with his caregiver. I was always amazed that he took naps for them! for me, he would sleep 30 minutes, but for the caregiver he would take a 3 hour nap. Don't worry - your baby will develop new routines with her caregiver and will do just fine. Here is a link to an article that I wrote on breastfeeding and working which may help you once you go back to work: http://www.pumpingtips.net.

Congrats on your new baby!
J.

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Having nursed 4 kids, and gone back to work, I'll throw my thoughts out into the ring, and you can toss them back. I always wanted to "get my kids" ready for someone else, but it never worked. However, within a day or two at daycare, they began to adjust just fine. It is very different when there are no other options and when that source of comfort isn't there.

You could bring a small favorite stuffed animal or something into your arms so it is there when you nurse her to sleep, and maybe she'll associate the toy with the comfort she gets nursing her way to sleep. It might also begin to smell like mom, and when someone else puts her to sleep, she may gain some comfort from smelling her toy, and hugging it, because it's already part of the process.

I was never able to give my kids a bottle, even a bottle of breastmilk because "I was mom" and they weren't fooled. They wanted to nurse for real.

The other thing is: be prepared for the reality of daycare for your child. That's not to make it sound horrible. It is just a transition. We had an absolutely awesome daycare home for our last two, and I particularly remember when child #3 went for her first day. We picked her up, and our "extra parent" said, "well, we survived day one. I'd forgotten that day one for an infant means they cry all day. But don't worry. It WILL get better." By Day 3, the routine begant to work more smoothly It's just a transition, and the little ones don't have choices, and only have their voices to complain with -- and they do. But stick it out. They adjust, and they end up having a great time with the other kids. There's so much more to watch with other children around than at home !

I found that no matter what I tried to do at home to "be prepared" it didn't really work, so I usually gave up, and simply let the chips fall where they fell. And that worked, cuz there were no other options ! (sounds stupid, doesn't it? But I do think kids are more ready to adapt when Mom isn't there and the nipple option just isn't available.)

Good luck. It's hard on Mom for a few days, and you'll remember it, but your child won't ! :-) But be prepared to do a whole lot of nursing and holding when you get home !!

b

Hi Y.,

First, she is right at the age where her sleep patterns will start to change and become more like adult, where they fall in to deep sleep quickly. From 0 - 4m they only fall into the deep sleep after 20 or so minutes. My daughter followed much the same pattern, wouldn't nap unless she was held or in a sling, slept in our bed, etc. But once she crossed that threshold into 5mos, we were able to put her in her crib where she started sleeping like a pro.

The other thing that worked for us when I was weaning her was that I held her exactly how I would to nurse her, but gave her the paci instead of the breast. This was after we had started solids (around 9 mos), so it might not work for you yet, but I was surprised how quickly we were able to eliminate the last feeding before bed. I would nurse her when I came home, and then she had solid food for dinner, so I knew she wasn't hungry.

As others have said, she'll get used to her new routine. Try not to worry too much... I was feeling the same way before I returned to work, and then realized I was ruining my last "full time" days with her, so I just gave in and went with her routine. Another thing I think was hard for me to know at that time was that things will change -- she'll grow and before you know it you'll be weaning and she'll be too big for her Boppy, etc! So just cherish this time with her, it will all work out fine!

Good luck.

I agree with PP, it's gonna be a hard habit to break. It'll be rough at first, but she'll figure it out eventually. I recommend the Dr Ferber book too. I also encourage you to keep trying the pacifier if you think she needs the sucking comfort...my baby went through like 4 different kinds before he found one he wanted.

Y. - best of luck with returning back to work - i just did two weeks ago. I have 2 sons - one of which is 3ms old right now. Both of my sons nurse to sleep. For me and for them this is the most comforting way for them to falls alseep and i would never want to take this precious time away from either of us. My first son adjusted fine to daycare once he went. They fall into the "different" routine and will adjust. Your 4m old can smell you - it is familiar to her and she is comforted by you. She will find another way of being comforted by her daycare workers. Now my newest son he is still adjusting to the daycare routine and it will probably be some time before it seems natural to him. Do what you feel is comfortable to you at home. THis closeness is so short lived - relish in the fact that your DD feels so comfortable with you.

Best of Luck!
J.

It may be difficult the first few nights but once she realizes that you aren't there she will fall asleep. What you want to do is have that person that is with her if it's say your dh. He needs to try and find a special way to put her to sleep, like a bottle or pacifier in the rocking chair. It may take a little while to get her to sleep but once she get's used to the routine it will get easier. But as long as your still there she will expect the same routine from you

keep trying with the pacifier. I had to try with my son for about 2 weeks before he would take one! Hopefully she will take it soon! Other than that, have someone else try and get her to sleep while you are NOT in the room, once she realizes she can't nurse maybe she will give up and go to sleep! Good luck!

PS- the pac that finally worked for us was the size 0 gerber nuk orthodontic.

This is a bad habit that is definitely going to be hard to break. I recommend the book by Dr Ferber for all sleep problems. It is a fantastic book. He would suggest that you put your baby down for naps and sleep awake but drowsy without a pacifier or the breast. The earlier you get this going, the better in the long run. She will cry a little (or maybe a lot at first) and you will soothe her by rubbing her back and eventually she will learn this is her new routine. This won't be easy but it is necessary especially for those poor caregivers who would be left with an inconsolable baby! You are doing the right thing, hang in there!

Hi Y.,

Contact your local La Leche League consultant at:

www.llli.org

Good luck and all the best. D.