My 4-1/2 Year Old Daughter Is Having Accidents at School

My daughter was potty trained for over a year, when my dad died and she was almost 4. I thought it was due to my dad's death. She kept having accidents, as many as 4 in a day. We went to the doctor who suggested avoiding caffeine, chocolate, etc. Also to give her a stool to place her feet on while she sits on the potty so she could fully empty her bladder better. I also tried to take her every 2 hours, and asked her teacher to allow her to go, and even to remind her to go. Also they did a bunch of tests at the docotr and, sorry if this is too much info, she had a lot of stool showing in her bowels. We were given a stool softener to put in her juice (it was powder to mix in). That was putting pressure on her bladder. If you send me a private message, I can suggest a pediatric urologist if it should come to that with you. I was pretty ticked when the peditrician suggested it was all behaviorial with my daughter and would do nothing. We took it upon ourselves to go the the urologist.

She might just be nervous from the new situation and she might be growing taller and bigger and her bladder hasn't caught up, I'd make sure she's getting enough potty breaks at school, talk to her teacher (we had one who told the kids they could hold it till lunch & our son who was 8 had an accident) then she might be nervous at home because she peed at school and having the accidents there too.

if your daughter is having accidents and its out of the norm she should see the dr today- unless they find something in the dip she likely wont get started on a med and it takes 24 hours for a culture and even longer then for the sensitivity. lots of things can cause the accidents- #1 is being constipated- how are her BM's?? or just holding it to long, nerves, changes going on in her life etc.. but infection can be dangerous if not taken care of right away

I agree on the UTI. My 7yo daughter started having a lot of accidents last year at school, where she would have to go to the bathroom without any warning (at home too). Turned out to be a UTI. It was a bit of a surprise since there was no pain associated with it, but that's what it turned out to be.

Perhaps this is her way of dealing with anxiety or differences in her surroundings. Try asking the teachers if there has been anything new introduced into her school life, such as a new craft project, new activity in school or outdoors, new friends, new teacher, etc.

Children tend to come and go with potty training. It's common for accidents to come up when they start going to school. Sometimes they are shy, hesitant, or feel like they'll miss out on something when they walk away from current activities to go to the potty.

Perhaps talking or meeting with a child psychologist could assist. Don't feel embarrassed or like counseling isn't necessary. We all need advise from others sometimes. The strongest woman is the one who is courageous and humble enough to ask for help!

I am a nurse who has worked for urology for 7 years. You daughter might have an urinary tract infection (UTI). This could be the cause of why she is peeing at home & at school. A lot of times, children start to wet the bed at night time too which many parents think may be bedwetting, but it turns out to be an infection. Make sure when you do go to the doctor, that your child is ready to give an urine sample. A first morning urine is ideal, & it needs to be in a sterile container. See if you can obtain an urine cup before her visit. You may want to see if you can move her appointment up. It could be stress, but definetely keep your appointment with the doctor & have her urine checked. Good luck

My oldest had some accidents after we potty trained her but she hasn't had one in awhile. She's five now and hasn't started school yet because her birthday was late. My niece on the other hand had three or four accidents right in a row when I was visiting my family at Christmas. She's the same age as my daughter minus a few months so it really perplexed me. She just wet herself out of the blue. She didn't even dance or try to run to the bathroom...she just peed on herself. At one point we were at Chuck-e-cheese and I had to take her to the bathroom to rinse her pants and then she had to walk around before we could leave with wet pants. She couldn't tell me a thing. ....and this had been the fourth time she did it in my care. Her older brother and sister acted like it was normal..so maybe she does it all the time.

Now in her case her parents aren't getting along and their mother screams and cusses quite a bit. A much older cousin is living with them right now and the kids aren't getting much attention right now. I thought maybe it was a way to get attention. I'm thinking that she may be having emotional issues. But who knows.

My husband has a cousin that also had accidents when she started school. Her mother spoke to me about it because her daughter was very embarrassed. She never found a medical reason for it, but she suspects that because her daughter is very shy she may not have had the courage at first to ask to go to the bathroom. The whole thing was so new to her that her mother believes she was overloaded with "what do I do nows".

I really sympathize with you and hope you have more patience that I would. God probably hasn't put that on my plate because I wouldn't be kind enough about it.

Hi Marta -

When my youngest was born, my 4 year old daughter started peeing again. We found out that it was because she was looking for some of that special attention the baby was getting. As soon as we started increasing the love and attention for the 4 year old, the peeing started to dissipate. Also, we were told NOT to address the peeing - just to clean it up and get through it like it was a normal routine. That seemed weird, but it worked because it didn't give attention to it, so the problem went away. As her pee problem was brought on by a change, it sure sounds like it could be school. It doesn't matter that it happens at home too. Possibly there's something about being in school that's upsetting her. Have you decreased your positive attention? Have you met her teacher and seen her classroom? Maybe take a visit with her to see it sometime and when she starts talking about her classroom, she might disclose some valuable information. Hope that helps!