My 2 Yr Old Will Not Go to Sleep at Night

Hi D.,

My granddaughter had problems sleeping when she was very young and I put her on a magnetic pad and that solved the problem. Magnets helps to relax the body and mind. My husband and I sleep on a pad also.

If you would like more info let me know.

N. Marie
____@____.com

D.,
Oh my gosh I'm going throught the same thing I have a 28 mo old and expecting this month. He slept well until 3wks ago same thing would cry at odd hours of the nite. My husband and I said after 2wks of it put ear plugs on and let him try to put himself back to sleep. I know it sounds mean but we did that when he was younger and it worked. Yes, he is older but I know he is not in pain or sick and just want us to be with him. I know it is a phase and it will pass but also he may know there is a change coming up and little changes in a 2 yr old life is a lot to them. I know you are really tired and to think another one is coming it seems hard to do anything now but there is lite at the end of the tunnel he will stop. Try not to put him in bed with you cause later you'll need to be free for the baby. Hopefully your husband is helping you with the toddler cause you can't be 2 places at once. Oh see if he is watching something that he is scared of that he may have nite mares that wake him up kids this age don't know the difference between real and imaginary. Good luck!
C.

He doesn't feel secure when dad isn't home. My dad traveled for work a lot when I was a child and I remember being very scared on those nights.. Terrible nightmares too.

Let him run more during the day. Exercise helps you sleep better. Serve sleepy food for dinner. Turkey and milk have enzymes that make you sleepy. Keep the routine the same everynight don't deviate. Have dad read some books on a tape and play them for him .

My oldest never slept... She's a freshman at UC Berkeley this year... At times I didn't think I would survive.. But five children and 18 years later.. I wish I would have savored those long sleepless night more cause I miss her now :)

hi
My daughter used to not sleep through the night a month ago
B/c she slept in her crib beside us.
We put her in her own room and she has been sleeping through
The night since. I think b/c she could hear and see us she would wake
Up more. She is 15 months. That is what I did and it worked.
Take care bye K.

Hi D.,
I HIGHLY recommend reading "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. He explains biological sleep rhythms, how/when they mature/evolve and what you can do to sync with them. I have been using his book since my daughter was born 3+ yrs old with terrific success. One of the biggest mistakes parents make, per Dr. Weissbluth, is too late a bedtime. The other is not being consistent. When my daughter was 2 yrs old, she was napping for at least an hour at 12-12:30pm, falling asleep at night by 6-6:30pm and waking between 6-7am. If you are interested in his methods/info, email me.
Sincerely,
L.

Has this been going on long? Reason why I ask is if it has not been, it could be he is responding to the upcoming change in his life, a new baby. Toddlers are smarter than we give them credit for and I am wondering if he feels like you won't be there when he wakes up. Meaning he won't have "just you" all to himself anymore. I know it sounds complicated, but I just thought maybe he is scared you will not be just his mommy anymore or he knows something is changing and doesn't want to sleep because he wants to be sure things stay the same. I know I'm way off base, but it was just a thought. I have a 2 1/2 year old and a 5 month old, just make sure he is included in taking care of the new baby and that he gets his mommy time. That is so important that he still feel as loved when the new baby comes as he does now. Good luck

Hi D.,
As far as sleeping at night, I agree that consistency is the key... and for a lot longer than you think... I read somewhere it takes something like 12 to 14 days to set a pattern. So.,... go through your day and decided where things have become "different", and adjust. Usually you need to keep naps. An over tired child doesn't sleep as well for some reason. My two were very different, if the oldest got a couple hours of sleep during the day (any time, in car, wherever..) he was good. My youngest, if he fell asleep for even 5 minutes in the morning in the car, he wouldn't nap later. I still would set up the same quiet/nap time in the afternoon (I had to avoid driving in the morning for awhile) and made sure he rested. Then establish a routine for sleep. It usually is a good half hour to 45 minutes, bath, pjs, books, music etc... no TV within two hours of bed. Put him down with confidence and say goodnight. If you must get up with him at night, do not bring him in with you (unless you intend to make that a regular thing). Get up and move somewhere else (his own room?) Sleep here and there is confusing and he will protest.

You mention that when dad is around he doesn't have fits. It sounds like you could be overwhelmed. He could be reading your anxiety. You can do this on your own! Be strong, and remember you are the mom. I hear you on being so tired. Enlist the help of friends and get some extra sleep so you can think straight. Either have DAD give you a good 6 -8 hours to go somewhere else and sleep or find some other moms (don't even try to sleep at home - too much to do!).... We've all been there, and KNOW you need sleep. :-) It's perfectly understandable. Try not to worry so much about how will you do all this when the baby is there too... it will undo you, and for sure your son is reading that too. Just picture a happy addition to the family. It will be ok, honest. New baby will blend in and somehow it all comes together. I hope this helps and you get some rest.

E.

My son sleeps worse when he doesn't nap. Also, since we moved him to his own room its been so much better. I have a 4.5 month old as well and I don't think we'd survive all being in the same room. Good luck, it wasn't that long ago that I was chasing a toddler while being pregnant and exhausted! It gets better!

Can you try falling asleep with him?

There are oodles of books on the market about how to get your kids to sleep thru the night &/or stay in their own beds. My only suggestion & sorry it's not much, is to find a method & stick w/it. Consistency is the key. You cannot waiver even one night or you'll be back at square one. Both our boys (almost 8 & 3.5) have the same routine every night....a couple of stories, prayers & soft music playing. So, maybe you could a variation of that. When our youngest was about 2, he figured out how to climb outa the crib. One night he musta climbed out about 20 times in a 1/2 hour. So, what I did (& a lot of books suggest) is I took him back to be every time. I said absolutley nothing to him & made no eye contact at all, turned on his music machine & left. Not even a kiss. His older brother was trained to not acknowledge him when he was standing sheepishly in the hall. Within about a week, the novelty wore off & he stayed in his crib when I put him to bed. Enlist his father's help, too, so that he knows & sees that the 2 of you are a united front. Again, the key is consistency. Be strong & good luck!

hey hun, not being consistant with keeping him in his own bed is part of the problem, i know it's hard, but...when we waver, they know, and they take full advantage! good luck, i hope you'll get lots of good advice, plus there are some good books out there to help, i'm sure -
wish i could be more help!

my kid is almost 3 and we are 2 weeks from due date and i have been experiencing similar. mostly just wants way more physical contact to go to sleep -- total regression and i have been real stressed. talked to some moms and they say its normal even if there was no baby on the way, i am just adding to the drama by worrying what to do when baby comes and he is still so needy. so for a few weeks i have been making sure i dont fight him, i give in to his needs a little (sit in the rocker while he falls asleep, for example) and talk to him about what he wants to do -- different pillow, sleep on the floor instead of the bed, i dont care. it has helped. also, my kid wakes up in a terrible state in the middle of the night when he has had bad sleep schedule, so my advice is to get him to sleep any way possible, get the quantity of sleep up to where he needs it to be even if you have to lay down with him, and then you can start sleep training again. its not worth the stress and drama and you have precious few months alone with your firstborn, so love him up. he will be asking for the carkeys all too soon, right?

Hi D. - I am so sorry you are having to endure this frustration. I can completely empathize with you. My child had severe sleep issues until about 15 months. He's now almost 27 mths & is pretty much a typical 2-yr old.

One of the things I've learned in the process is that most kids have sleep issues of one kind or another. There are basic things we should expect from them, but there will be seasons in their little lives where sleep problems crop up & it's our job to help them get back to the "normal" for them.

Has your little one ever been able to fall asleep at night? If so, try & think back to what was working at that time. Are there things that have changed? Bad habits that are now hindering him to sleep?

Of course there are plenty of books to read, but as we all know, when you're pregnant & you have a little one to take care of, reading is one of the last things you have the time or energy to do!! SO - here's what I learned from the multitude of books I poured over during the first year of my little guy's life:

- CONSISTENCY: this is absolutely crucial to have success in your strategy to get your little back on a normal sleep schedule. If dad is available, be sure to include him 100% in the plan & both need to commit to being consistent. I can almost guarantee you that no matter what plan you implement, you will see success in, at most, 2 weeks time.

- STRATEGY: put some serious thought into what you want your family to look like in regards to schedules. By now you know if your kid is naturally an early riser, or he's a light sleeper, or his habits. For us, our boy only needs 10 hrs of sleep on a typical night. So, it would be foolish to put an expectation on my child to sleep 12 hrs a night. I can put him to bed whenever fits us best, but I know he'll only sleep 10 hrs tops. When my son was 7 mths, he was falling asleep at 10PM. Obviously wasn't working. I implemented Ferber's cry-it-out method (which really wasn't that rough at all), & in 3 nights he was falling asleep at 7PM. Now, he's in bed by 7:30PM, & asleep by 8PM. It never would have worked had I not stuck to my guns. When he's been sick, the schedule gets thrown out of whack. I give him grace for a week or two, & if he doesn't fall back into his normal schedule, then we make a plan & in 2 or 3 nights, he's back to normal. Sometimes it calls for me to be in his room for an hour or two just putting him back in his bed when he tries to get out. He may be mad, crying, yelling, but it's never been more than 1 or 2 nights that I have to do that & he understands that he's to sleep in his own bed when we say so.

- SLEEPING LOCATION: By now, your child needs to be sleeping in his own room, in his own bed / crib. It is not expecting too much of him to do this. It's still just a matter of being consistent in the expectation, which we all know can be difficult when it's 2AM & everyone just wants sleep. Since you're in the later stages of pregnancy, it will probably be easier to have dad step in & make sure this happens as it may take awhile for a few nights.

If you have any questions or want / need more suggestions, don't hesitate to email! The thing I kept in mind over & over was that it is healthy & better for my child as well as the rest of the family to get him in a good sleep routine. Good luck!!

Hi,

When our son gets a second wind and can't fall asleep right away which is not the norm, we put him on a little mini trampoline. The amount of energy he consumes with 5 to 10 minutes of jumping generally does the job. On a rare occasion we've used benedryl - sometimes they just need a little help breaking the habit. We also found that from around 18 months (or as soon as our son could climb out of his crib) he would join us in bed...this lasted for over 4 years until he finally weaned himself off the need. We think it had a large part to do with getting cold at night and not being able to pull the covers up on his own. On the latter issue we gutted out the sleepless nights - we've had other parents comment this was a phase their kids went through and grew out of.

Hope this helps and you get some sleep.

P.