My 2 Year Old Hates to Eat

I agree with all the previous posts that you shouldn't make this a battle and he will eat if he is hungry...one thing I wanted to add, was maybe get him to help you cook. Another post mentioned having him help you shop for fruits and veggies which is great and you can also have him be your cooking helper. My son is 2 1/2 and he loves to help me make bread, english muffin pizzas, quiche...anything that involves dumping and mixing. He has been more apt to eat the things he helped make, even if he refused it in the past. Also, I sometimes give him stuff to put together at the table...like crackers with peanut butter and he puts a few raisins on top. Also, he loves dipping stuff. He won't want something, but as soon as I say "dip" he's ready to eat it. Try apples with yogurt dip, cracker or apples with peanut butter, veggies with ranch, tortilla chips with refried beans and a little sour cream. Or pretty much anything plus ketchup.

Good luck! Try to stay positive and make it fun.

This sounds like a control issue. You've got to back off and pretend you don't care if he eats.
My then picky 2 year old is now a 6 foot 2 inch 16 year old.
My pediatrician told me not to make food an issue. He told me to fight my battles anywhere but at the dinner table. He was right.
If the boy wants dinner, he can eat it. If he doesn't want to eat, he's done for the night. No snacks, no milk, no sweets, no dessert. He is done. He can have water, but nothing else. No cheerios - nothing. That's the hardest part.

Children eat when they are hungry. Mine survived on air :-) Until he turned 12 and then he started to eat everything in sight and it hasn't stopped.

I'd make him sit at the table for a few minutes each night, but once he gets down, there's no getting back up. I'd start making him sit longer and longer because eventually you are going to be invited somewhere where he is going to need to sit and he has to know how. He also needs to ask to be excused. Manners need to be taught early.
YMMV
LBC

S.,
I feel your pain. my 2 yr old is pretty picky. But, there is hope. She's gotten better. First, look at what your son is eating over the whole week. It usually balances out between all meals. Also, does he eat when you are not around? Maybe there is some trick. My daughter likes to eat what other kids are eating, so I found out she eats more at school than I thought.
Also, try different things many times. What about balogna. We roll it in tubes and eat it like that. This works well with any lunch meat.
also try dipping things. If he likes sweet, try dipping fish sticks or nuggets in honey mustard sauce. This works well with veggies too.
the other thing I found is dried fruit. I know, lots of sugar, but at least it's a start. trader Joes has lots of things with no sugar added. or try their freeze dried fruit.

Good luck!

I'll tell you what I did with my daughter but it's a bit extreme. However, it sounds like your son is a good weight so it should work for him too. I committed myself to five days of this. I fixed food for the family and told my daughter she had to eat what we ate. I made her stay at the table for 15 minutes of the mealtime. Once she got up, the food was gone (I took the plate away and wouldn't give it back to her). I let her drink an allotted amount of milk and juice, but then it was water until the next mealtime (no snacks in between unless it's a carrot or something ultra healthy!) and then we started the process all over again. She hated it, but she didn't starve and she got the point! By the end of three days, she was eating more of what I put in front of her. She still wasn't eating great, but she knew if she didn't eat when and what I told her to eat, she didn't eat period! I had to really stick to it for about three weeks but then she was eating with the rest of the family and eating healthy portions. She's almost four now and I barely remember those picky days! I'm still careful about giving her unhealthy snacks because then she thinks she doesn't have to eat as much healthy for her meal... I hope this helps! Also, make sure it's not all about punishment - give him rewards when he eats what you put in front of him, when he sits and doesn't complain, etc. (whatever reward works best for him!).

My daughter is 11 years old now and she has always been pretty picky. I know your child is a lot younger but I hope that this will help. I try to fix a meal she likes at least 2-3 times a week. If I fix something she doesn't like I just fix her something else nutricious that she does like. If I fix something new, I do require that she at least try it. On a few occasions she has found that there is something new she does like. Try to write down a list of all the foods he likes and then try to make meals from the list. Gradually as he gets older you can get him to try stuff. As far as taking away outside time and stuff, I don't know if that will work or not. I would not let him have any snackie items unless he ate well at meal time or tried a bite or 2 of something new. I also would talk to the day care and have them do the same thing so that everything is consistent. Good Luck and God Bless!

I don't get on here much. *not much time with a 2 year old as I am sure you understand* Anyways, I just wanted to say I am glad I am not alone in this!! My daughter won't eat meat either. I usually can get her to eat some rice and some fruit for dinner and make her take ONE bite of chicken *or whatever meat for that night* before she can get down. If I say "one bite of chicken and you can get down and play" she usually will. If she fights me TOO much, I don't force it but 80% of the time that line will work. Glad to know its just a phase. =)

Good Luck!

Since he clearly is in control of the situation, have you tried giving him choices? I mean, like taking him to the grocery store in the fruit aisle. Show him all the fruit and tell him he can pick any of the pretty fruit he sees. I assume that he will eat fruit of some sort? Have you tried canned or bottled items versus fresh? Raw versus cooked? My son was picky although not that picky, but if I gave him choices from things he likes, he felt like he was in charge and would do better. Have you tried foods that are not classic kids foods, like cauliflower and broccoli (raw or cooked)? My son eats yogurt like a champ, but the texture of mashed potatos and applesauce turns him completely off. Will your son drink a smoothie? Blend all sorts of things up in it like carrots, fruit, peanut butter, etc. You have to decide how much leeway you will give him to choose, then set boundaries. For example at dinner, say here is your food. You must sit at the table for 15 minutes (with a timer), then you may get up, but may only play with books, nothing else. Always give him at least one thing he likes to eat so he won't have to starve himself to "stay in control". Then don't make a big force issue and see what happens. Also, does he spend any time with anyone else, like a sitter or grandparent? My Mom got my son to eat the cauliflower first, and only then would he eat it for us. Will he eat spagetti noodles with sauce? Blend up veggies and mix with the sauce. Also my son will eat just about anything with ketchup on it, including raw carrots and other raw veggies, scrambled eggs, etc. Try any type of food you can think of and make it a game. Build a "forest" out of cut veggies and hide something he likes in the middle of his forest. Challenge him to "eat" his way to his favorite thing. Good luck to you all!

I watched my sister battle over food with my niece and decided it wasn't worth the grief. The rule we have used with my now 5yr old is that he has to at least lick a new food. Sometimes he will take a bite, sometimes not. People taste things differently as well. I love tomatoes, but my son doesn't(we keep trying though) Also while I don't make special food just for him, I will modify the planned meal. He likes noodles but not always the sauce(which he still has to lick), so I'll pull his out first along with what ever meat or vegetable we are having. Finally, be a good model and praise him (especially to a friend while he is listening) when he does eat well. Children want to meet our expectations.

S.,

My two yr. old went through a similar phase- no food for a few months!!!! After consulting with our physician, she recommended to mix Carnation Instant Breakfast mix with his milk 3 times a day so that he is still getting the protein and calcium he needs (and he would drink milk all day long if we let him!) After that, I only gave water or some juice. When I say months, it truly lasted that long. He too did not want to sit at the table with us, and we stopped forcing him. As it was explained to me, they realize they now have a will of their own and are exercising it. Hang in there and see if this helps. My now 3 year old is still quite particular about what he eats, but he is eating again. Good luck!
Mom of 2 boys ages 3 & 5

I echo the other moms in saying food should not be a battle ground. Definitely back off and remember, it is YOUR job to provide him with healthy food (and since he rarely eats, that's 100% of the time) and it's HIS job to decide if and how much he eats. Begging and pleading and forcing will only prolong things...that's a general rule of thumb with kids, anyway :)

I would say to make sure to keep offering him food, though, and take extra care to make sure whatever is on his plate is healthy. Don't resort to chicken nuggets and fruit snacks just so he'll eat 'something'. Just put a teeny spoonful of whatever you are having on his plate, because you never know when the day will be that he will suddenly eat everything you give him. If he continually is exposed to food, then one day he will at least try it. It is perfectly normal for a child to do this around age 2. He is not weird or having problems, just asserting his little personality. Be careful not to crush his spirit.

You have a choice - you can turn into a short-order cook and provide him with seperate meals and run yourself ragged OR you can serve two options every meal - take it or leave it :)

Every mom has dealt with this situation, to varying degrees. Just remember to choose your battles wisely - if you make everything a battle, then you're accomplishing nothing but desensitizing him to the sound of your voice. Hang in there, bite your tongue and it will all be over soon and you'll wish for the days when he was so little.

Hi, S. S
I understand your frustration, when my son was 2 (now 4 years old) he didn’t want to eat either and even now he is a picky eater, what have worked for me is giving him bite size beef or chicken alone with no other foods little by little and also I just tried giving him the Progresso traditional Chicken Noodle soup, and he likes it, is very healthy and got chicken and vegetable pieces. Also try feeding him yourself, cut the snacks so by the meal time he’ll be a little hungry. Don’t get frustrated it, if he doesn’t want to eat at all don’t force him to, I’m pretty sure this is normal, it happened to my son and he is very healthy now. By the way try buying toddlers vitamins like “The Flintstones” so he can get some vitamins in his body, instead of giving him doughnuts try giving him frozen fruits, like grapes. Once my son’s doctor told me that every toddler stomach is as big as their fist and so whatever little they eat it can full them quickly. Just keep on eye on him and make sure he doesn’t look tired or weak. But if you are really concerned talk with your son’s pediatrician to give you advice on your son eating problems.
I really hope my advice helps you, just remember to be patient with him. Toddlers go through this.
GOOD LUCK!

stop, stop, stop!
i realize it's even harder for you type-As than for most of us, but you MUST stop the battle! it's no good telling a 2 year old to do it, it must start with you!
you are setting yourself up for battles over everything throughout this child's life. it's not worth it. you should enjoy your little one and he should look to you for guidance and understanding, not simply iron control.
do not make him eat ANYTHING. later on, when you're past this hump you can be a bit more insistent, but right now you've created an antagonist, and surely that's not what you want. he will not starve. seriously. put a few healthy choices in front of him at each meal and LEAVE HIM ALONE. (btw, milkshakes/smoothies can be healthy choices.) don't allow snacks, give him plenty of water, juice and milk, and back off.
duct tape your mouth, tie your fingers together, whatever you have to do.
stop battling your baby.
khairete
S.

When I was growing up, I had to clean my plate no matter what and I hated every minute of it. I vowed never to force food issues with my kids. Toddlers are usually pretty good at self regulating what they eat. Trust me, he'll eat when he's hungry. Just make sure what's offered is healthy (cut out the doughnuts, candy, sugary/fatty stuff). Yogurt's great. Half a mini bagel with a little cream cheese is good, too. Some fruit (a few grapes or strawberries or apple pieces or melon pieces) and a cheese stick make a great breakfast/lunch/dinner. If you are worried about his nutrition, try keeping a food diary about what he eats for a week or so. It's helpful to have that when you take your son to your pediatrician for check ups and can ask questions about it. Offer new food choices slowly, one at a time, and if he hates it, try it again a few weeks later. When he goes through a growth spurt, he might get a bit hungrier, in between spurts, his appetite might calm down a bit. My son was a grazer. He'd never try new food off his own plate, but would love a taste of it from my plate. We discovered he loves salad that way. Before you know it, he'll be in school and sitting still more than he is now, and you'll be worried about him gaining too much weight.

I wouldn't push him to eat. My son isn't a big eater unless he is on a growth spurt than you can't get enough in him. When he was that age he used to like to help me cook and I gave him the job of putting the veggies in the pot or steamer and he usually ended up eating as many as he put in the pot, and he ate them frozen, go figure:-) I also had him help with breaking up bread for meatloafes and stuff and he would eat his bread and grains then. Meat of course he couldn't touch but its more exciting to eat and taste test food before its on your plate. I think the kids can regulate how much they need and based on the amount he ate of healthy food would determine what desert was. If he ate enough healthy food I would give a little ice cream. If he picked at his food than it was some fruit. Now he's older and he's very independent about his food intake and he even gets his own snacks and has since he was about 3 years old. Good luck.

You are not alone!! My son who is now 9 was the same way but it looks as if your son eats a little more than mine did. We struggled for years to get him to eat something. I followed the advice everyone gave me. Make him sit at the table until he was done (yeah right), just 2 bites you name it. My Pedi told us to pack what ever he didn't eat at dinner and give it to him for breakfast, lunch, dinner until he ate it. They told me he would eventually eat, well my son didn't. We went a whole day giving him what we ate for dinner the night before and he never touched it. By the end of the afternoon my son was so weak that of course I feed him!! My husband and I talked and decided to not make eating an issue anymore. And surprise it worked!! My son is now 9 and eats things that I am not sure I would even eat. So my advise to you is not to make it an issue unless he is not gaining weight or growing and see what happens. You will be surprised what they will do.

I think you have some great advice here and I agree with it as well. The best advice I ever got was that when your baby is hungry he will eat. We never tried to make eating an issue, if my kiddo is hungry he will eat. There are meals that he sits at the table and throws on the floor. There are some meals that he devoures everything in sight, plus some. I have always made my son sit at the table for as long as it takes Mommy and Daddy to eat. Sometimes that means he eats the whole time, sometimes it means he colors a picture or plays with playdo or another toy. But, staying at the table is a very important skill b/c a pet peeve of mine is kids running around restaurants while you are trying to eat.

I would also agree that you need to stop making anything special for him. Make your normal dinner, offer everything to him. If you start now making things special, you will be doing it for years! My 5 year old nephew eats spaghetti at just about every meal b/c thats the "only thing he likes and we can't let him starve". He eats NO veggies, NO fruit, virtually NO meat... the boy survivies on gummy vitamins and spaghetti.... You'll find that when he is hungry, he will try what you make. But, make sure he is hungry - don't give him juice/milk or snacks if he isn't eating his meals. My son would drink milk all day somedays and not eat a thing if we'd let him. He would just rather drink than stop playing long enough to eat.

Anyway, I hope that your life gets easier and you find some answers in these posts. Good luck! =)

By now you've discovered that everything can be a battle with a 2 year old if you let it become that way. I strongly suggest that you do not make eating into a power struggle with him. You can't force a child to eat. Trust me, he will eat if he is hungry. Two year olds are more interested in running around and playing than eating. I would offer him healthy foods you really know he likes, and keep putting new things along side favorites on his plate to try -- one day he might just try the new things. But, definitely do not engage in a power struggle with a 2 year old. Toddlers just don't eat much, and he definitely won't let himself starve.

The only things to be mindful of are keeping snacks healthy and not too close to meal time. Also, do not offer too much juice, which has a lot of calories and may make him feel full even when he's not full of food. Do not punish or take things away for not eating, that will only make things worse.

I'm sure your son is healthy and you can check with your pediatrician if you need reassurance, but this is completely normal behavior for a 2 year old. Just don't engage in a battle with him over food. He'll eat when he's hungry, just make sure you are always offering him healthy things.

What i do with my daughter who we have always had the same prob. with is first don't force things on him. You make dinner. You don't make to order and you only reward eating. If he eats dinner he gets a snack before next meal. If not he has to wait until next meal to eat anything. He only gets water between meals this prevents him from feeling like he's going to get other things. What seems to be happening and happened with my daughter is I would make dinner. She wouldn't want what i made so i would find something else either for the meal or as a so called healthy snack between meals to give her. Than the next meal would come and of course what i made wasn't what she wanted. So later i would feel bad and find something else after the fact. Dinner would be the last meal and of course out of not wanting her to go to bed hungry i would feed her something to tide her over. WELL DON'T DO THAT. The being hungrey is what is going to get him to eat. If you give him something else later you have given him good reason not to eat what you have. Some times i would even make a surprise snack and go OH man you don't get any you didn't eat dinner. Gosh that's sad. I don't back up. I don't give her another chance to eat dinner. She will eat better next time just in case there is a surprise snack after wards.... Good luck we have fought this from her first REAL meal with my daughter.

Other Moms have already offered some great advice. First, realize that it is a control issue. He will eat when/if he is hungry. Period. You mention that he is in daycare a few days per week. Does he eat there? I agree that you should cut out sweets and juice and making him special meals. Don't waste your time and money because he is obviously not eating the extra food you are preparing for him anyway. A two-year-old's job is to push the limits and see how far they can push you and what kind of reaction they will get. I'm sure he is very much aware that it bothers you that he won't eat and it's a game to him. Don't let it get to you. Let it go. As for not coming to the table and/or getting down - is he in a booster with a strap? I personally believe that children should sit at the table with the family whether they are going to eat or not. If he pitches a fit, let him and just ignore it. If he learns that you are not going to react and give him what he wants, he will soon adapt. Good luck!

S., part of your answer is in your a little about me and the other answer is in the body of your letter. Since you are a self admitted control freak, your son has learned what he can control and you can't. He is pushing your buttons and I am positive that he is great at that. I have four children and my oldest boy was like that. I am also a counselor/psych major. Not only is your son controlling you, he is controlling what he eats, not just when. The yogurt and donuts need to stop. If he wants yogurt, try the lower sugar options. I would cut out the carbs to make sure that he is getting the protein that little bodies need. Yes, you need to have him sit at the table at meal time. Offer him the same thing that everyone else eats. He will probably scream and throw massive fits for a while but he will eventually get over it, depending on how you respond. Calmly and firmly let him know that he may not leave the table until meal time is over. Every time you give in to his fit, you have given him a piece of control.Don't threaten and don't give any options. "This is when we eat and you are going to stay here at the table with us. You may eat if you are hungry." Repeat that as needed throughout the meal. DON'T GET ANGRY!! He will for sure ruin at least a few quiet dinners but it will get better. Don't take away play time or alter his schedule in any other way. He will eat when he is hungry and he will eat things that he doesn't necessarily want to. I, personally, could live on donuts and Martins BBQ chips but I know that those are occasional treats and not to be eaten daily.
Blessings!