My 18 Moths Old Bites!!!

My oldest was a biter at his daycare and we came up with a "bite kitty" It was a teething ring shaped like a cat and we attached it to a pacifier clip and he had it clipped to his shirt. When he started to act like he was going to bite, we tried to catch it and say, bite the bite kitty. It got to the point that he would put it away or get it if he was having a frustrating moment and bite on it. Now my second son was also a biter and he didn't follow with the bite kitty and was a bit harder to stop. We just had to really keep an eye on him and stop him before it happened. I can't say he was very easy because his twin sister paid for it more than anyone else! I hope the bite toy works for you.

B. M.

My daughter has oral issues too. Biting used to be a big problem. I solved the inappropriate biting by giving her "Chewys" - pacifiers or chew toys that she could bite on all that she wanted! Even though she was "way too old" for these toys and should have easily understood that the behavior was not "okay", she wasn't ready developmentally to stop. Every time she started biting on something, I gave her one of the proper toys to chew and she did grow out of the issue in her own time.

I bit when I was little, and my mom bit me back, and I never bit again. I am now 46 and not violent at all! My daughter, who is 9 now, also bit at age 2, so I bit her, and she never bit again and is a very sweet girl now. Good luck!

Even though you say he is at a 9 month old level for grasping things using sign language with discipline (as in to teach) go very well together. Children learn well with a visual. Child care centers who use signing with toddlers report fewer circumstances of biting because a child is better understood and can express him or herself. I'm not saying it is going to cut it out completely because my daughter has been known to bite her brother from time to time, usually when seeking attention. I know it is very frustrating as I have two very close in age (17 months apart) and it is so upsetting to see your baby getting hurt. Good luck!

Good advice so far. Odds are good he is acting on frustration or just plain trying to get your attention. You're right that discipline doesn't work at that age- just respond firmly "ouch, biting hurts" and show him a soft touch. Also, if you can tell he is getting near bitting, help him by either giving him the attention before hand or by stating what you think might be frustrating him "I see you're mad because I won't pick you up." Sometimes just saying this is enough to prevent further frustration and acting out. It may or may not be directly related to the relatively recent birth of your other son, especially since he is acting out towards the baby. Make sure you spend some quality one-on-one time with your older son every day- when the younger one is sleeping is the best time. And, especially for a developmentally delayed child, a fairly strict routine may help (similar to what the other person said about transistion time)- if you do the same things at the same time every day he'll know what to expect and won't get as frustrated. In the mean time, don't leave them alone together (this really applies to all toddlers with babies).

BITE HIM BACK!! Bite hard enough so he will know
it hurts and not enough to break the skin. He doesn't understand that biting hurts. So you need to disipline him and stand your ground.
Please remember he is a child, they really are not equipped to know good or bad. You have to teach him before he bites other little kids.
Hang in there , you are doing a good job.
N.

Does he take the pacifier? Maybe its his teeth coming in. Can you give him something to chomp down on?

Hi S.,

I have a 20 month old little girl and a 4 1/2 old son. Both of them have bitten. 18 months is a very normal age for children to start biting. My 20 months old girl started to bite around that time too. It's very normal and can continue for a while. Some kids bite for a short time and some bite for a while. My son, who was very oral from birth, bit all through his 2's. It was very hard, but he eventually grew out of it. He lacked in verbal skills and got frustrated and would bite. My little girl, on the other hand, bites too, but not nearly as much. Each child is so different and it will take some time and a lot of patience for it to stop. Just keep telling him that biting hurts and and re-direct him to something else. Good luck and I'm sure you're doing great!!!

I am dealing with the EXACT same thing, same age, everything. I've been babysitting this little guy since he was three months old and I got to the point where I was going to ask his parents to find other daycare for him because it was such an issue. Some of the things that have worked for K is giving him a teething ring to bite on. We tell him to bite that instead. When I see him going to bite I'll say "ouch! biting hurts, NO biting!" He really has a tough time with transition, so we've kept him on a very structured routine. I give a lot, "ok kids, lunch is in 10 minutes" he doesn't understand the concept of ten minutes, but he knows that clean up time is next and will even make his way over to the table. Gotta run! Just wanted to add, Arnica works great on those bites, keeps the bruising to a minimum.

He may be cutting his molars.....which hurt more than the other teeth. Try keeping wet washrags in the freezer (wet clean washrags, ring them out good, place in ziplock bags and put in freezer). When you see him start to bite just give him one and say "bite this". As for trying time out, I wouldn't concern myself that he may not understand.....time out is supposed to be a way to safely remove a child from a situation. So think of it as more like "thinking time". Also keep the phrases simple when he does anything wrong. Keep telling him "no biting", redirect with the cloth (or teething toys),and he will learn.....although it may take some time and effort (LOL)! Oh and if he is teething you may try giving him pieces of popsicles as a snack (make sure they are not choking size). Good luck!

Put him somewhere he doesn't want to be, immediately. Make sure he is alone. If you have to strap him into his hi chair, put him in his crib, whatever. And be sure you're very firm and mean business. Consistancy is the most important thing, however. So whether you are home, at a friends house, or shopping you must follow thru every time. The next step, BITE him back... hard enough to make him cry. I know some are going to gasp at that, but my grandma even did it to my mom! I had to resort to that with my twins. They went thru a huge biting phase and I was at my wits end! Good luck.

My 18 month old recently started biting as well. It doesn't help matters that he gets a huge reaction from my four year old when he does. If you can catch him in the act, try showing him how to be "gentle" instead. You are right, discipline does not work, even with an 18 month old who is developmentally on schedule. Redirecting so he does not get the reaction, or showing how to be gentle (like petting a dog) instead has been working with my son.
Also, I have noticed that he is teething quite a bit, with some molars coming in, so I try to give him tylenol when I see him chewing on his fingers or if he appears in distress. Kids sometimes bite if they are teething.

I read in a book that some parents "play bite" their babies so they learn to copy that. Also, when he bites and you gasp or make a big reaction, he might get a big kick out of that and will repeat the biting. (book: What to Expect in the First Year) also (What to Expect in Toddler Years)

I didn't have this problem, but my son bit me once or twice and it hurt. So I feel for you. Good luck!
Oh, give him plenty of teething toys so relieve some of that pain. He's probably teething too.

I'm wondering if he is needing some sensory input. The reason I thought it might be something that he needs sensorily is that he rests his two teeth into your legs, instead of just biting down. My daughter used to bite too, and sometimes it was for attention and our reaction. Other times it was a need to bite on something. I felt she was a bit old for teethers, but I would use something like a theraband for her to chew on. This is just my opinion from the tidbit that you shared.

Hi S.:
I'm wondering,if anyone has read your request,and comprehended. Your child is 18 mos,but has the mentality of a 9 month old.Am I to believe, that all these mothers,would bite or strap their nine month old baby to a chair for biting? If so, then they all need classes in child development!Hitting a biting child or biting back is an inappropriate reaction to the problem. This communicates that violence is an appropriate way to handle (emotion) For a young child to bite,is a normal part of development.Wether they are teething,or frustrated,or excited or being hugged.They don't know they are hurting you.The best way to stop the biting,is to catch them,when you first feel them bite,and touch your fingers to their mouth lightly and in a firm but not loud voice... say No biting. Next time,you might say ouch..That hurts mommy...and look very disaproving.Babies as a rule, want to please mommy and daddy. So this may even make him cry a little to think you aren't happy with his action.Disapline,is not the answer here S.,its (teaching)The very best to you and your children.

That is normal in children, the problem could be that he needs more attention or jelousy because you just have another baby. Spend more time with him on one on one and keep reinforcing not to bite and try to explain why, its not nice because it hurts, ect, dont just say no. Hope this helps.

Hi-- not sure of the properties or problems you have with hydrocephalus. But my daughter has the biting problem with my 19 mo grandson. What she does is bite him back, and he realizes it hurt him so she doesn't bite her. There was one time when he bit her twice and on the second time she took him to his room and put him in his crib. So he would realize he is taken from the room where the fun is for misbehaving.
As I said before I am not sure this will help with your situation, but it is a thought and works for my daughter.

The minute he bites you grab his arm and bite him back fast and hard. Before he has time to think about it. You want him to understand that when he bites he is going to feel pain too. If you try to talk to him about it before you bite him back he won't put the 2 together. He needs to understand bite-pain. My oldest (girl) bit me once never tried it again. My 2nd one (girl)bit me twice never did it again. My 3rd (boy)toke 3 times.

The thing is you need to fix it now or he will continue to bite to get what he want's. And you don't want it to be that no-one want's your child for play dates because he is a bitter. I had told this to my baby sitter, after her son bit my 2nd daughter twice. I figured that she toke care of this the first time. But when my daughter came home the 2nd time with teeth marks still in her arm and a big bruis I called her and told her that if he bites my daughter again my daughter has been told to bite him back and don't stop till you get blood, this will teach him never to bite again. Of coure she would never let my daughter bite him back, so she would, after she looked at my daughter's arm she would take his arm and put her teeth on him and he would start to scream. So she would never bite him hard, he never stopped bitting so I had to take my child out of her care.

Trust me when I say grab fast bite hard. The 2nd time he does it bite harder, you don't want him to have anytime to think about it. I know moms who did this to babies who bite during breast feeding and their babies where young but they don't keep bitting because they learn that it hurts.

Good Luck! J.

My daughter bit at that age-into our legs just like you. First time I thought it was a fluke and said no sternly. Second time I gave her a bop in the mouth hard enough to stun but not to hurt-took her face in my hand, looked very stern into her eyes and said "NO BITING", she never did it again.
She is now 21 and a dream daughter.

The only thing that ever seemed to help with the biting my sons did, was to bite them back. Not so that it breaks their skin - but to the point it hurts and you can see it on their face. We tried everything before resorting to that - time outs, corner, used tabasco sauce in the 1st one's mouth - nothing helped but biting them back (we always did it on one finger - you can see a dent in it for a short while afterward but that was it). Your 18mo old should completely understand pain, so he should be able to handle this. Good luck and God Bless You!

At the school that I use to be the Director of, we had an infant care center with up to 8, under 24 months at a time. What your child is doing is typical. We would offer either cold or warm clean wash clothes every time one of them would start to bite or chew. I think having the pressure on their teeth feels good to them. Even the ones who would bite in anger, we would offer the wet wash cloth and explain to them that biting is hurting that person, and if they still wanted to bite, they would have to bite the "biting cloth". Most of them took it right off. And a couple even started to go to the refrigerator and ask for the "biting cloth" Good luck!

Bite him back he'll know that it hurts. it sounds harsh but it worked with my son now 3

Hi S.,

You say that your son is developmentally the stage of a 9 month old? I believe that even a 9 month old understands that biting can hurt if the response is correct. When he bites, I would yell or scream which is a pretty common response anyway. The sceaming/yelling should startle him and that alone should scare him in a way. I agree that he would not understand the time out. The other idea I have is that he could be biting you just because his mouth hurts and sinking his teeth into some skin might be a relief to any teething he might be doing. Just keep being patient and consistent with him, he will figure it out. The other thing that you could is separate him from those that he is biting....but also try your best to get him to avoid the situations when he is biting.
Best of wishes with him and his little brother. I do think you will need to keep a close eye on him so he doesn't bite brother....that will be the challenge.

I am a mother of two and I work with children with special needs as well as typical preschool children. The manner in which he is initiating the biting would indicate that he needs sensory input. This means that he may be experiencing a sensation in his mouth that makes him feel like he doesn't know where it is, so he puts his mouth in contact with something and presses down, much like we would grip a rail to balance oursevles. The only way to get rid of such inappropriate behaviors is to meet the need with something more appropriate. When he bites, tell him, "Ouch, that hurts. Bite this (hand him a biting toy)." It is ok to repeatedly show him with your face and your voice that his action distresses you, just don't expect him to get it right away. Would a nine month old get it? Mine wouldn't. He is learning so you will have to teach him in a repetitive manner till he understands. There are toys that when you bite them, they vibrate in the mouth (it is a star shaped toy)or you could use teethers or medical tubing (sounds strange but it gives great feed back). It helps to attach the chosen item to your child so that it is easily accessable. The other thing you could do when he does it, is to take your palms on either side of his jaw and firmly but gently squeeze and rub. You can label this action, "squeeze", "press"..., whatever works for you. Say the label when you do it. Then teach him to ask for that rather than bite. Don't give up, at this age lots of repetition is how they learn!!!