My son is on Myspace. He has a friend that is a girl that he talks to on there and also at school. I have met her and she has gone places with us like out to eat and to the movies. My son and her use to buy gifts for each other but for the past 3 weeks they haven’t been talking as much. He told me she is now hanging out with this boy that is emo and cuts him self. He puts pictures of his cuts on his Myspace. I watch my kids Myspace account very well and I have noticed her posting comments on this boys page saying she is so depressed she is going to hurt herself and other things like that. I have also noticed her emails to my son one day will be nice and the next day very mean. She has also been making up stories that my son has hurt her feelings and it makes her cry.
So my question is should I talk to her parents. I have met them once. I would want someone to tell me if my child was acting this way.
Well I called the girls mom and made her aware what was goin on but the girl lives with her dad so I will let her mom take it from there. I sent the school counselor and email and told her what was going on. I havent heard back yet.
My daughter will be 13 in December. I would certainly want to know. I would welcome someone caring enough to share the emails with me even though I know the children would be mad at first. Someone mentioned going through the counselor at school and I think that is a good way to do it as well.
By the way, my daughter has said some kids at school are "emo". What does that mean? My understanding is that is is not goth but similar.
Susan
I think you answered your own question when you said "I would want someone to tell me if my child was acting this way." I, like you, would be forever grateful for someone bringing something like this to my attention. Having said that, I'm sure your hesitation is because you know there are some strange parents out there who won't be as appreciative when confronted with this kind of news. Given this, you must be prepared for some bad feelings and possibly some backlash if that happens to be how they react. I personally would tell them regardless of the consequences. I mean, what's the worst that could happen? They get mad at you? They call you some names and use some choice words in your presence? I guess there are worse things, but I personally would risk it. I mean, what's the alternative? Keep it to yourself and just wait to see if their child attempts to hurt themselves instead of trying to prevent it? A reasonable parent will be able to see you are only trying to help. Any other response is one you can chalk up to irrationality and possibly stupidity.
Oh, and one more thing, I noticed some moms suggested getting a counselor involved to make it more anonymous. If you choose to do that, you may want to consider that some schools have strict policies about things being posted on websites and they might decide that child needs to go to an alternative school or may even report the info to CPS or something like that. It can become part of their permanent school record and could cause problems for them in the future. If this just happens to be a phase for this girl and she's only writing these things to be "cool" to this other guy, then this will get blown completely out of proportion and you could do more harm than good. I guess you have to ask yourself, would you want the parents to come straight to you or to the counselor and get the school involved? If given the choice between the two, I would want someone to come straight to me.
Good luck!
Please help her and her parents. And thank you for caring enough about your son and his friends.
I would definitely talk to her parents. Talking about hurting yourself is just the first step - it gets worse from there.
I don't understand the whole "emo" movement. When I was in school, if someone would have been talking about cutting themselves, it was considered a problem, not just a personality trait. My sister is having the same problem with one of her friends - this girl is 18 and belongs to a "group" called BPM which stands for "Beautiful Painful Masochists." They get together to do drugs, drink and cut themselves, and then they post pictures of it on Myspace.
Just thought I'd share my opinion.
I recently had a similar experience with my sons friend. Be very careful how you approach this with her parents. When I went to this little boys mom, she was not happy and freaked out. She took it out on me and we have not spoken since. Her son did deny everything and even told her that it was just words he put on there. The "words" were enough to scare me. I do not want my son or his girlfriend around this person anymore. Seriously think about going to the counselor first and have copies of the pages with you to show her. If you do go to the parents yourself I agree that you need to have copies of the pages with you. Let your son know what you are doing after you make copies. If he tells her she might delete or change it. This needs to be addressed soon. Good luck!
Yes, I think you should talk to her parents. I would first print out copies of what she is posting so she can't deny it (that will be her first instinct). I would want someone to let me know if my child was acting this way too. You should let your son know that you will be talking to her parents and why it is important to help someone when they are talking about wanting to hurt themselves.
T.,
I would talk to her parents, because what if she does do something he would have to live with that for the rst of his life. Good luck let me know what happens, I am an avid believer of checking my kids myspace page
I would talk to her parents, print out everything on there so that they can see. If you are questioning doing it because of your son and his feelings, it could always be anonymous. Send it to the parents at home or at work or send a copy to the school counselor maybe.
I would definately contact the parents. My 15 year old had a group of friends that were doing the cutting thing and I contacted the parents. The problem may start as a fad but can quickly turn dangerous and possibly life threatining. I urge you to do it soon. Good Luck
