My 1 Year Old and Banging Toys

It his way of learning what things make what types of noises perhaps a baby drum would be a good christmas gift this year or maybe a toy hammer. My son is always using his utensils as drum sticks or hammers. I would not take his toys away because he isn't playing with them the way you want him to and him some pots and pans a plastic spoon and the kid go to town. This is what they do dear. Try to get him some toys that are targeted toward the way he likes to play. It won't last long. My 19 month old is now playing the right way w/ his trains and cars they are no longer hammers.

Just let him bang. This is how he is discovering sound, and so on. My son was banging his head on the back of his highchair at one point, but my Dr. told me to ignore it and that he was looking for attention. Once we stopped yelling at him from doing it he stopped. Just let him discover and try new things, this is how they learn. I have a boy too, so I understand how hard it is. My little man is constantly on the go and busy making noise, etc.

OH no S., the absolute WORST thing you can do is to give in and give it back.
You are establishing a very bad learned behavior that will cause you ALL sorts of obedience issues later on.
YOU are the mother...if you say NO..then NO it shall be.
If he is banging and you say , "Stop or I will take it away, this is your warning" Then for goodness sake dear, follow through no matter what sort of fuss he makes.
And, I might suggest , if the fussing escalates, tell him if he continues fussing he will have to leave the table ( high chair, whatever) this is his warning...when he persists , DO put him down.
He will not like being away from the table or Mum. And if you show constancy, the banging and such at mealtime should soon stop.
Especially if he is quite clever. He is training YOU at this point in time.
It takes a lot of work to be a Mum as I am sure you are finding out. One of the hardest things to do is to harden your heart to the tears and fussing and follow through with what you say. Very important that he learns to trust and believe in you and what you say to him.
Babies like to bang and make noise. I understand it gets on your nerves but is there a compromise? Could he play in his room or another room and do his banging while you are busy with dishes or something? Can he have a time when it is okay to bang? That being said, it is NOT ever okay to bang tableware, or bang things on the table.
Do you let him have toys at mealtime on the table/tray? May be beneficial to set toys aside at mealtimes.
Relax, tincture of time heals most everything and soon he will be off and running into another phase.
I wish you the best and God bless
Grandmother Lowell

This is normal behavior. Banging is actually nicer than shrieking (which he may start to do eventually as he discovers the power of his voice) since you can take the objects away. I agree it's great to let him bang sometimes, but if it's driving you nuts, just try to redirect his attention by giving him something really interesting to look at or switching to storytime. It sounds like he has learned that banging gets your attention, so the more you react to it the more he'll do it.

To make the banging less annoying, you can avoid giving him things that make a lot of noise. If you put him in a pack and play with some plastic toys he can bang to his heart's content without making too much noise...

He's probably musical and likes to hear the beat. It may be his way of expressing himself because at this point he probably doesn't have much in the way of communication skills. Watch his face as he's banging away. You'll be able to tell if he enjoys it or he's frustrated and taking it out on the pots and pans. Although it may drive you crazy, if he enjoys it, encourage it. However, you may want to channel that music with toddler/preschool musical instruments and music like the Beatles. My daughter did the same and she loves music. Good luck!

Your little one is just being one year old. If the sound bothers you, create a soft surface that he can bang on. Show him how to do it or add a peice of cloth to the bottom of the items he wants to bang on. Experiment and learn with him.

:) C.

I agree that if you decide that a behavior is not acceptable that giving in sends a mixed message. However, a one year old banging things is developmentally appropriate, and I really think it is something he SHOULD do as he is exploring when he is banging. In fact, they make toys just for one year olds to bang around.
As he gets older I think there will be much bigger issues for you to deal with....I would let this one go, as it hurts no one and is actually a normal, healthy thing to do.

It's normal. Better to not get into a power struggle with him about it.

He's only expressing himself...let him do it.

Do not give it back to him if he throws a fit!! He will learn to throw a fit when he wants anything...and the trouble begins! My son was doing the same thing, he is 1 1/2 now. I give him 3 chances, well, 2 times saying no, please don't bang, at the third time he loses the toy and does not get it back. He cried at first, now he knows I don't give in and he moves onto something quieter.

S.- I'm afraid that banging is what it's all about for a 1 year old. It will pass.
You can try to re-direct it by allowing him things and a time to bang (you could even do it together-"band time!"). Place bowls or pots and pans on the kitchen floor and give him a wooden or plastic spoon to go at it! Or buy some toys specifically for pounding, that have a plastic hammer (maybe they're for older kids...). Sing a song as he bangs along. But when it's time for eating, then it's "no bang" time. If he does, take the spoon away for 10 seconds, and give it back saying, "no bang". Every time he bangs with a spoon take it away and firmly, calmly tell him "no bang". When meal time is over, give him some banging toys and allow, or encourage, him to bang. He'll learn soon enough. But you've got to set limits of when it's OK to do it, and when it's not, and stick to them, no matter how hard he cries. Crying is their secret weapon. You have to hold out and be stronger. Tough, I know, but it'll be easier to do it now than when he's older and having a tantrum in the middle of the grocery store. Get yourself a set of headphones to wear if it makes you too crazy, but it will go away!

Hey S.,

I know the sound may be unbearable at times but I think at this age that its OK and normal for them to do these kinds of banging things. They're playing, learning, exploring. My son is only 8 months old but he could have nothing in his hand and he makes the motion with his hand as though hes banging on something. When hes in his high chair hell be banging on the tray... even does it while hes eating. Maybe since he's gettning a little older you can start teaching him that its OK to bang with his toys etc but not at the dinner table. Its never too early to begin to instill manners. Toys & playtime are you playing. The dinner table it for eating. But bear with him for now.. give my wooden utensils, pots, etc he'll love it.. and although its loud and crazy.. He'll love you for letting him do it :)
Good luck!

What's the big deal? Is he hurting anything or is it just the sound gets to be annoying? This is a pretty important developmental milestone. He's realizing the different sounds things make when you bang them together. Sounds like he likes music. Honestly I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. Just play along with him. It's fun and as long as he's not hurting anything I wouldn't worry. It's a faze and eventually he'll find something even more annoying to do.

M.

He will stop crying. Parenting isn't always fun. Take the toys away when he bangs and tell him why. Then let him cry. He's so young that he will learn quickly IF YOU DON'T GIVE IN.

I also agree that a certain amount of this behavior is normal experimentation on his part, so I would decide when and where banging is appropriate- okay with toys on the floor/ not okay with utensils in the high chair. Give him a toy drum or xylophone or one of those toy work benches with a plastic hammer.

Does he have a drum? Or toys, plastic containers, soft stuffed hammers that it's ok to bang? Then you're armed with "What do we bang? - a drum? YES!! (With great enthusiasm!)Not our "whatever toy, spoon, etc...". (shaking your head no emphasizing how "silly" that would be with your facial expression). Then swap out some thing that is ok to bang and take away whathe is abusing. If he cries for it - ok - give it back, but with"oh, you want This toy, ok, but it's not a banging toy, so let's play with it the right way..."
If it's meal time..well, I would remind him still what is ok to bang and give him chances then take away the utensils.
But, be patient. It's a phase. It will pass. This is how I taught my daughter and helped my nephew grow past banging.
Hope it helps! Good luck!

banging on pots and pans and other things actually helps with their speech pattern development. i'd say play along. you might want to set aside 'noisy' time and 'quiet' time so there are time limits.
also you really should be mindfull of sticking to your word. in other words, say what you mean and mean what you say! if you decide to say no then it's no. children are going to test you, test their boundaries and by sticking to your word you will eliminate any confusion. good luck.

Hes learning cause and affect. This is normal for a one yr. old, and he should be allowed to do it. BUT, if it really does bother you, once you take it away dont give it back. It will just confuse him. Let him have fun!!

I agree with the responses about part of it being normal behavior and getting him involved with some drums, bells and musical toys-- but in a time and place. The dinner table probably isn't the best place, but perhaps on the kitchen floor while you make dinner and he 'helps' with pots and pans banging. Make a no banging zone and the table, so he won't carry it into restaurants and family dinners. My daughter and I sing songs and she 'plays music' with her banging. I know it can get loud, but you can find the types of banging that is allowed/tolerable.

One important part: If you say no and take something away--NEVER give in because he is crying. Ever. He will learn that crying is how he gets his way. Stand your ground!!! Good luck and enjoy this stage...it is such a fun time. :-0 D.