So, we are upgrading to a bigger home, as my husband says, one that will work for the "next stage of our family". But, we've been in this home for 9 years, and our kids basically grew up here (they were small when we moved here). We love this house... it is cozy, comfortable, and we've planted so many trees that we enjoy, etc. Our two growing girls are stuffed into a 10by10 room, and we share a bathroom, so we know they need more space. But, our family room and master are 'havens' for me. How did you adjust to moving? How do you get over the lump in your chest that will mourn for a home that has held so many great memories for you? How do you look forward without grieving for the past? I know I'm not the only one who feels this way.
** I should add that the new home we are looking at will be in the same area, 1 minute away. It is a bigger home in a gated community, but we are losing our private yard. We live on a corner lot with mature trees behind us, not at the new place, though. On the other hand, the girls will each have a big bedroom, a bathroom, and a playroom. It is give and take for sure.
For me, it is never about the house -- it is about the home you make there, and take with you. I moved every other year as a child, and have moved 9 times in 22 years of marriage. I feel like each move was an opportunity, and always looked to each move as a new experience to make a new home.
When I leave this place, I will rip the piece of molding that we use to measure our kids heights right off the wall and take it with me!
It's a chapter in your book of life. Every time we moved (military) it was a different chapter in the book. New friends, new places to discover and new things to do.
I was really attached to the house we had in Tucson but had to leave it when we got orders and was pregnant with our second. It took me a bit to get over pulling up roots. Now we are retired and in NM and I have not put the roots down (21) years.
Hopefully in a few years I can retire to a nice warm place and put the roots down again.
Know that you enjoyed your home for the time you lived there and it is now time to move to another home and enjoy it for the next stage of life with family and friends.
The other S.
I agree, take pictures.
We took pictures from day one when they broke ground on our first home to build. I have all the pics from ground up. Same with our current home... pics from groundbreaking all the way up.
We were there from 1992 until 2000 we decided to upgrade, get more space and larger yard. I looked forward to my new bigger house. We are a family of 3 and we went from about 2500 SF to a little over 4000 SF with a huge private wooded yard.
We still see the old house when we drive by, only 2 minutes from current house and on the way to the expressway. We look at it with pride... WE planted those trees, WE took good care of the house and WE know the owner now loves it , appreciates it and he takes awesome care of it.
One thing I did was in the old house, we backed up to a nice golf course and I didn't realize how there was NO privacy. Someone was always on the course, could see our back yard, I got tired of the cat calls, and I was ready to move when we did.
Now, I have a much larger lot, larger house, back up to woods so I share my yard with bobcats, coyotes, and other wildlife. I love it. I have SO much privacy now... I can go out back naked if I want to!
It is normal to feel sad when you leave but keep in mind that you'll be creating new memories for your daughters and I bet they will love the extra space!!
Good luck.
We moved moved out of our first house two years ago. It was extremely difficult for me mainly because of my daughters bedroom. Every time I walked into her room I just burst into tears. I remembered planning it and painting it and spending so much time in there. (My kids were only 2 and 6 months when we moved). As we were walking out for the last time, my daughter walked over to her room and said "Bye, Bye Aubrey's Room. Well, that was it! I bawled. We were moving in to a much larger house that was our dream house, but I was still sad. Well, 2 years later, I am so in love with my house and even though I have wonderful memories of my old house, I don't get that heavy feeling in my heart anymore. We live about 15 min away from our old house, so sometimes when we are near that area, we drive by. Being able to see it whenever we wanted and of course, loving my new house helped a lot. You'll make new memories in your new house and you will love it. Just drive by every once in a while to send a silent hello and you'll feel better. And trust me, you'll quickly appreciate having more than one bathroom and the girls will love having their own personal space. Good luck to you!
Well first take pictures of every room just the way it is before you start packing. You will appreciate them later. For me, it is helpful to go back to the old house after someone else has moved in-- just to look at the outside. There is something about seeing someone else making a home theirs that is good for me. I takes the personification and idealization out of the house and reminds me that the house is a shell, a tool for people. Something about seeing that other people have made my old house their own helps me to let go. Not everyone feels that way I know. I remember a friend telling me how heartbroken she had been to enter her old home and find it completely renovated and redecorated in a very different style from hers. It hurt her feelings that someone would want to change what she had worked so hard on. Which do you think you are? The kind that would feel better seeing the house changed or the kind that would feel better never knowing what others had changed?
We lived in our 1st house for 17 years.
It's the longest time I've ever lived in one house.
(When we moved to where my Mom still lives when we were growing up, we were there for 14 years.)
When we moved in we were newly weds.
We were pregnant there 9 years later and brought our baby home to that house.
The yard was ok, but the neighborhood was going downhill.
I was tired of neighbors being on top of each other all the time and sick of what ever neighbors dog that wouldn't shut up.
The traffic was becoming unbearable.
And even though it was just the 3 of us, the house was getting crowded.
We outgrew it.
Our son was sad to move to our new house at first, but he's got a big playroom.
We've got a beautiful 3 acres out in the country and we can see stars at night.
We still own the 1st house (can't sell it till the housing market picks up a bit more) but we have no desire to live there anymore.
We have friendly neighbors in the new place and our son has good friends in school.
Just keep moving forward and embrace the new opportunities!
Well, like your husband says, it is the next stage, and for me, that is all you can chalk it up to. We lived in our other house for 12 years, and our boys grew up there too. We needed more room, just like you said, and moved 5 minutes away. I cried and cried the day I handed the keys over to the new owner. I sat out on the back deck and just thought of all my nice memories and cried while I waited for the trash man to come one last time so I could put the can back in the garage. I don't even really know if you can't not mourn your home that you will be leaving. You just have to pick up and go and do it. You will make memories in your new home too. It has been hard for us because our kids are still mad at us for moving and for selling our house. They pretty much don't have any of the friends that they grew up with, kind of out of sight out of mind type thing, so make sure you make a good effort to keep the friendships going. I did to a point, but after a while kids kind of drift apart anyway if they are not together in school. You would not be making this move if it wasn't good for your family, so keep that in your thoughts. Good luck to you and your family.
